Tiza felt like he was walking out of one hell into another. If he wasn't being monitored by Sean he was being watched by Valencia. Eerily it felt like history was repeating itself. Tiza tried to ignore all the feelings that started to come up when she came around. He no longer loved her, he knew that much, but for some reason his heart started to betray him. First with Aosh and now Valencia...Tiza felt like he no longer had control over his emotions.
She would often walk into his studio in the middle of class, take a seat in the corner, and just watch him. Her cold eyes were locked on the Omega the entire time. She claimed that she had to check up on every class, but Tiza felt like her eyes were always trained on him and not his students.
"Your talent is wasted here you know." Valencia says one day after his class is over and all of the students have filed out.
Tiza doesn't answer her. He doesn't want to indulge her. She sighs and leans against the barre as he is getting his things together.
"You run away half way across the world and you've become so cold, Prima."
"Don't call me that." he says not bothering to hide the bite in his words.
"You used to love it when I called you that." she says wistfully.
"Like I said before, things change."
"Just like your passion for dance has?"
That makes Tiza shoot her a look.
"Don't be a fool and try to deny that as well. You had such a fire in you when we were together. The Omega I knew stopped at nothing to further his dance career. Now you've thrown that all away for what? Teaching amateurs? What a waste. You and I both know you could be so much more."
Tiza's teeth ground together in irritation. It was hard not to let her under his skin. He catches his reflection on the mirror wall in front of him.
"The world wont let me be anything other than this." he mutters.
She regards his plight and smiles.
.................................................................
A pink box wrapped in a white silk ribbon sits upon a large and ornate oak desk. Tiza regards the box for a moment and the person sitting on the other side of the desk. Valencia offers him a small smile and motions for him to close the door.
He doesn't.
"Is this what you called me here for? My ride is waiting for me downstairs." he deadpans.
"This will only take a moment." she says tapping the box with one hand, resting her chin on her other.
Tiza doesn't know what kind of game she's playing. He doesn't know anything anymore to be honest. He felt like he was constantly trapped in a cage at home and being prodded with a stick here. It was exhausting and he felt like his constitution was wearing thin, at least whatever was left of it. The Omega sighs, and approaches the box to open it.
Undoing the ribbon and taking off the lid, he lifted the layers of tissue paper inside to see a pair of new ballet slippers and a matching pair of pointe shoes.
"It looks like it's been ages since you've bought a new pair. You know how dangerous that can be."
Tiza runs his fingers over the silky surface of one and sees his initials embroidered in the side in a scrawling font.
"..."
"I don't need this…" he closes the box and pushes it away.
Valencia pushes it back, standing up and leaning over the desk into his space.
"You deserve it. I said it back then and I'll say it now."
Tiza's eyes stay glued to the desk, tracing the wood grain over and over so as to not meet her gaze. He feels this strange pull inside him, a familiar feeling he hasn't felt in a long time.
"Look at me."
He does. His eyes snap up to catch hers leering at him. He notices how soft brunette waves fall delicately around her face and drapes over her chest, just like it used to. His throat feels dry.
Her lips upturn when she has his undivided attention. Pleased that even after all this time some things truly don't change. Valencia pushes the boundary and her hand reaches forward. Her fingers run through Tiza's hair, cupping his cheek.
"Take the shoes, Prima."
He does even though he feels a little ashamed at doing so.
................................................................................
It's a rare occasion that Tiza eats, or actually keeps his food down, even more so nowadays. Everything tastes bad. Makes him feel bad. Makes him feel worthless. But he still needs energy, he knows on some level he still needs to eat. So somehow he allows himself to bring a lunch with him when he goes to Rousseaus.
He resigns himself to eating between sessions, in the small courtyard the facility has. The Omega hides himself in the shadow of one of the many trees that litter the area. Sitting cross legged he opens up his tupperware container. The contents are simple, a predetermined lunch packed by Sean. Chicken salad sits in one corner accompanied by a piece of pita bread, some cherry tomatoes, and a small container of yogurt and berries.
Tiza stares at it, his stomach doing flips instead of getting hungry. But he has to eat. If he doesn't, Sean wont let him hear the end of it. If he doesn't Sean might yell at him again. It scares him enough to spoon some of the chicken salad into his mouth and force it down. The Omega is so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn't notice when someone joins him on the grass under the tree.
"You don't look like you're enjoying that."
"..."
The food in his mouth feels and tastes like sand. Even so he doesn't answer her. He does however sneak a glance at her. She is wrapped in an extra layer with a cup of coffee in her hands, the change from summer to fall calling the need for a little warmth. He hasn't had coffee in a long time. Sean won't let him drink it anymore after he found out that Tiza was using it to suppress his hunger. He sees the subtle stream of steam floating up from the hole in the lid and for once his mouth waters.
"Over the years you've gotten only more beautiful," her eyes rake over him and Tiza feels his body betray him and heat up under her gaze.
"Although it looks like you still can't take care of yourself properly."
Tiza's eyebrows furrow. She continues.
"I remember, back then, how the other dancers used to envy you. Envy your beauty. I remember how your thin frame would twirl across the stage and how when we would pas de deux you were as light as a feather in my hands. I had so many talent scouts approach me, wanting to steal you away. Some even promising supporting roles in their productions. You were never meant for those roles, they weren't good enough for you. It seems though the talent is still there but," her eyes trace along his body once more, "the years have caught up to you."
Tiza's eyes widened and suddenly he felt like he wanted to hide.
Valencia's hands go over Tiza's and take the tupperware from him, replacing it with the coffee.
"Just some food for thought, Prima." she says, before getting up and walking away with his lunch.
Tiza looks down at the drink that's slowly warming his cold fingers. His stomach growls and he takes a sip.
............................................................
"When did you stop loving me?"
The question comes out of the blue as he is leaving from work. Valencia has his wrist in her hand preventing him from leaving.
The answer is simple.
"When you lied to me." he says, a little strained.
He really didn't want to go into this right now, especially how over the last few months things have been getting more and more confusing for him. Her hand on him alone left him feeling dizzy.
"You had mentioned before that you weren't allowed to go back to France…, but you wanted to? To come back to me?"
It wasn't so much a question but a statement, like she had always known this to be true.
"..."
He doesn't know how to answer her. Or really he doesn't know the answer himself. He spent so long trying to forget about her, forget that he loved her that he...just doesn't remember.
"You're not happy here. I can see you squandering your talent away. Just like your mother did."
Tiza flinches but makes no move to pull out of her grasp.
"You're so much more than this. Let me make you more than this." She says pulling Tiza close. She smoothes her hands over his shoulders, to ease the tenseness there.
"Come back with me."
"What?"
Was she crazy? Did she really think that he would-
"Be the prima ballerina at Lefèvre Dance. Come be the star you were meant to be. Do what she couldn't."
"You're lying. If you could make me prima why not do it back then!" he exclaims getting exasperated at her taunting him. She was dangling his deepest desire in front of him like a dog.
"I own the company now. Let me give this to you. You don't have to stay here. There's nothing here worth tying you down."
She holds him in place, not even giving him the chance to run away. Not that he could run from her. Not that he ever could.
There was nothing here for him? That wasn't true...was it?
Tiza thinks about his brother and how suffocating he is. He thinks about Momo and how desperately she is trying to mend things between Sean and himself. He thinks of a toothy smile and kind obsidian eyes. His mind wanders to peonies and koi fish. Of laughter and games. Of feeling like everything finally meant something. Like he finally meant something to someone.
A pain blooms in his chest as he remembers how cruel he has been towards Aosh. Tiza was so weak willed he couldn't even give Aosh a straight answer on why he just stopped talking to him. All Tiza could do was submit to whatever other people told him to do and run away.
They'd all be better off if he was gone. Being associated with an Omega like him...was nothing but trouble. Maybe his mind would know peace without all the suffocation and guilt.
Tiza had gone silent in her grasp.
"How can I convince you?" she says, whispering in his ear. She kisses the shell of it boldly; lets her hands drift up to cup the Omega's face. Her kisses trail down his neck as she continues.
"You want fame? I'll give it to you. Money? Name your price." her nose traces his collar, her breath sending shivers down his spine.
"Come with me."