Chapter 16 - Meeting the In-Laws
Harry hadn't really known what to expect when he'd returned to the dungeons after his etiquette lessons with Neville and Hermione. He'd come to the conclusion, somewhere between discovering there was a right and wrong way to unfold your napkin and that salt could only be passed from the left to the right that he was probably going to make a complete fool of himself at dinner.
He'd later changed into the clothes Snape had chosen for him, amid hilarious comments from his former dorm mates. He'd stared horrified at himself in the bathroom mirror. "Don't you think these pants are a bit tight!" Harry had protested when he'd shown the results to Ron and the others. He felt horribly exposed in them. Looked more like something Gilderoy Lockhart would wear.
"Supposed to be that way, mate," Ron assured him.
"You look great Harry," Seamus agreed. "And if you don't believe us, let's go ask Colin."
That set Ron and Dean into a fit of giggles, and Harry had groaned in exasperation. The lot of them had come to the conclusion sometime in fifth year that poor Colin Creevy was hopelessly in love with Harry. Harry had of course not wanted to believe it, but had eventually given in when he'd discovered a life-sized picture of himself in Colin's dorm room next to the boy's bed.
"I have to go," he told his friends in disgust and tromped down the stairs to the common room. To his annoyance, the four of them followed swiftly behind.
The common room was unusually crowded for a Saturday afternoon, and as Harry entered he was greeted by a wave of good-natured whistles and catcalls, which had him bright red with embarrassment in a matter of moments. Hermione had eventually stepped in to shut them all up, but one glance at the look of hopeless adoration on Colin's face had set Ron and Dean into fits again and Harry had eventually had to flee to escape them all.
He'd waited nervously for Snape by the fire, worried about all the things Neville and Hermione had tried to teach him. There was no way he was going to get through a formal dinner without messing up royally, and he wasn't looking forward to enduring the wrath of Severus Snape. The man could flay a person alive with his voice alone. Harry had been on the receiving end of his sarcasm more times than he cared to remember, and he guessed before the night was though he was going to be utterly humiliated.
He looked up in shock as Snape had entered the room, almost not recognizing the man at first. No black robes for one - he was dressed much the same as Harry was, only in dark blue instead of green. And damn! The man looked, well . . . attractive, maybe even handsome. Not in the Gilderoy Lockhart way of course - Snape didn't really have the features for it. But he looked very distinguished certainly, and those clothes certainly emphasized the fact that the Potions Master had a good body. And there was something different about his hair; it looked. . . . really nice.
He vaguely remembered blurting out a couple of compliments, mortified by the fact that Snape had found them amusing. But at least the man hadn't really teased him over it.
And he'd been utterly amazed when Snape had put his fears to rest concerning the etiquette issue. Truth be told, it almost sounded as if Snape was hoping Harry did something shocking. He vaguely wondered if he could work out a way to earn points for Gryffindor by misbehaving.
He wasn't too keen on using portkeys, not since the Triwizard Tournament. But he took hold of the coin firmly and let himself be transported to wherever it was they were having dinner.
He staggered a bit as they landed, might have fallen if Snape hadn't grabbed hold of his elbow to steady him. "Sorry, don't like portkeys much," he muttered. Snape said nothing.
Looking up he noticed they were standing on a gravel roadway directly in front of large iron gates that were decorated with a rose pattern that reminded Harry of the tattoo he'd briefly seen on Snape's back. Beyond the gates Harry could see an enormous house with elaborate gardens surrounding it. "Is that Snape Manor?" Harry asked.
"No, that's Briarwood Hall," Snape informed him. The man turned him slightly toward a hill beyond the house. "That's Snape Manor."
Harry's eyes widened. Briarwood Hall seemed to be one part of a much larger estate, for beyond the gardens on a hill he could see a sprawling castle complete with tall towers, courtyards and at least three separate wings. "Wow," he exclaimed, unable to find a better word to describe the enormity of it. That would take a lot of paint!
"You really must do something to improve your vocabulary, Mr. Potter," Snape said dryly.
"Where exactly are we?" Harry wanted to know. "Is this far from Hogwarts?"
"Far is sort of a relative term," Snape replied. "We're in the County of High Hill."
Harry frowned. Geography had never been his strong suit, but he'd seen enough maps of Britain to at least know the basics. "There's no High Hill County in Britain."
"There's no High Hill County in Muggle Britain," Snape corrected. "You are standing in one of six unplottable counties in Britain, the western most to be exact."
Unplottable counties? Harry had heard of course of unplottable houses, but an entire county? He'd had no idea such a thing was even possible. And to think there were six of them in Britain. He wondered how many there were worldwide. "Do a lot of wizards live here?" he asked.
Snape shrugged. "A few I suppose." He pointed off down the road away from Briarwood Hall. "Minister Fudge lives a few miles down that way. And the Malfoy's live a bit farther north from here. A lot of the old families have estates in High Hill."
"What about the Burrow?" Harry asked curiously. He knew the Burrow was accessible by car, but at the same time he'd always felt it was somehow isolated or protected from the rest of the Muggle world.
Snape gave him a faint twisted smile. "The Burrow is east side," he told him and left it at that. Harry took a guess that the unplottable counties had some sort of economic status assigned to each of them.
Snape tapped his wand against the gate, and they waited while it swung open. Harry followed him through.
"We're not eating at Snape Manor?" Harry asked curious, as Snape was making toward Briarwood Hall instead.
"Snape Manor is my home," Snape informed him. "Though I haven't had it open in years. Briarwood Hall belongs to my brother Claudius." He frowned suddenly, glancing at Harry with an odd gleam in his eyes. "I should probably mention that at some point this evening a number of people will attempt to ask you permission to reopen the Manor. Under no circumstances give it."
"Why would they ask me?" Harry asked bewilderedly.
Snape shrugged. "It's as much your home now as it is mine," the man reminded him. "Regardless, it hasn't been open since my father died, and I don't think it's safe."
"Structurally unsound or because your father was a Death Eater?" Harry asked bluntly.
Snape gave him a mocking sneer. "There are spells to ensure a building remains structurally sound."
Which of course answered the question. Snape suspected there was Dark Magic lying in wait in the Manor house. "Fun," he muttered. Snape did not reply.
Two enormous wooden doors carved to look as if they were covered in rose vines were thrown open as Harry and Snape approached Briarwood Hall. From out of the house streamed a gaggle of people, so many that Harry found himself instinctively stepping toward Snape in alarm, wondering if perhaps they might have both just walked into a trap of some sort. He glanced quickly at Snape, noting that the man did not look alarmed, but he did look angry, a thunderous scowl upon his face, and a black glare he recognized far too well.
Greetings were shouted out, welcomes were called, and Harry found himself shaking hands with total strangers, trying to catch the names that were offered him. Eventually Harry felt a strong hand close around his shoulder and Snape pulled Harry out of the center of the crowd and propelled him toward a smaller group, his glare effectively deterring anyone from protesting.
"Harry, these are my brothers Claudius and Marcellus and their wives Julliana and Delphina," Snape introduced, his voice just barely above a menacing growl.
Claudius and Marcellus were definitely related to Snape. Both men had the Snape nose and coloring. But beyond that the resemblance was slight. Neither man was as tall as their elder brother, and both were a great deal bulkier. Marcellus sported a full beard, though neatly trimmed. They each shook Harry's hand, welcoming him to the family politely enough, but they eyed Harry up and down assessingly as if measuring him against something.
Julliana and Delphina were both extraordinarily beautiful women, one golden-haired, the other a redhead. And they both giggled in excitement when Harry shook their hands, Delphina going so far as to actually drop a curtsey to him.
"And those," Snape growled, pointing to the large mob of people who had surrounded Harry initially. "Are apparently in-laws." The man glared at Julliana and Delphina, who both just smiled pleasantly back at him. Apparently the two women had invited their entire families to this little gathering.
"This is my sister Diana, and her husband Alrik Brand," Snape continued with the introductions, motioning to the next two people waiting to meet him.
Diana Snape Brand was quite attractive. Her dark hair and dark eyes complimented her pale complexion, and her features were delicate and well formed. But more than that she had a quiet grace to her that reminded Harry surprisingly of a young McGonagall. She gifted Harry with a warm smile as she shook his hand, seeming genuinely pleased to meet him. Her eyes practically glowed when she looked up at her oldest brother.
Alrik Brand on the other hand was her exact opposite. He was enormously tall, heavily muscled and sported the hair and beard of a Viking. Indeed the man towered over all of them, and scowled down at Harry as if looking at the runt of a litter. He squeezed a bit harder than necessary when he shook Harry's hand.
"And this is my youngest brother Julius," Snape said then, motioning to the last member of the group.
Harry barely managed to stifle his gasp when he noticed Julius for the first time. He'd rather expected the fourth brother to look like the others, but Julius Snape was as different from Claudius, Marcellus and Severus as night was to day. Granted he had the same coloring, the dark hair, dark eyes, and the pale skin. But while Diana, who'd been spared the Snape family nose, was pleasantly pretty, Julius was heart-stoppingly beautiful. He was nearly as tall as Severus, slender and strong looking. But there the resemblance ended. His features were flawless, perfectly formed, high cheekbones, chiseled jaw, sinfully full red lips. Even the pale skin all the Snapes possessed seemed more like the finest alabaster on him. And he was dressed to catch the eye, a black velvet doublet lined with deep burgundy silk, his hands adorned with several glittering rings.
He gave Harry a slow sensual smile as he shook his hand, and like his brothers he looked Harry over quite thoroughly, but his eyes glittered with something more akin to hunger. It made Harry shiver in a most uncomfortable manner, and he shot a nervous glance toward Snape wondering if he had noticed. Snape was watching him intently, his scowl replaced now by a look of dark contemplation.
And then Diana was urging them all back inside the house, and the uncomfortable moment was gone.
Harry barely had time to admire the beautiful architecture of Briarwood Hall before he was surrounded by the mob of in-laws again. He managed, just barely to follow Snape into the main parlor with the rest of the family before he was cut off by a gaggle of women and men who seemed amazed to find the Boy Who Lived in their presence.
"Are you really an advisor to Minister Fudge?" one woman asked breathlessly.
"Are you really a secret player for England's Quidditch team?" a young man asked before Harry could answer the first woman's question.
"I heard you knew how to Apparate by the time you were seven years old!" another man exclaimed while Harry was still contemplating how someone could play secretly for a Quidditch team. "How did you manage that?"
"According to Witch Weekly you used to date a foreign Veela Princess," a matronly looking woman announced. "How ever did you end up with Severus?"
"Can you really tame dragons just by singing to them?"
"Is your broom really made out of Merlin's staff?"
"Do evil creatures really burst into flame when they touch you?"
Harry, who'd made it a point not to read the tabloids, stared at all of them in growing alarm. Surely people didn't believe this stuff - okay Quirrell had burst into flames upon touching him, but that was different.
"Can I see your scar?"
Harry would have treated this question with the same disbelief as the rest of them if it hadn't come from a small boy of perhaps six years. He sighed and crouched down in front of the child, tuning out the rest of the adults as he pushed his bangs out of the way.
The little boy smiled happily at him, his eyes widening in delight as he stared at the lightning bolt scar upon Harry's forehead. That reaction would have been fine, if all the adults surrounding him didn't take it as a cue to surge forward and touch him, trying to reach the infamous scar with their fingers. Several of the women looked as if they were attempting to kiss the scar. Harry backed away in shock, nearly stumbling over his own feet in an effort to get away from them.
"That's enough!"
Harry was never so happy to see his Potions Master striding angrily toward him, blackest scowl fixed on his face. Instinctively he reached out to him, relieved when his hand was caught and he was pulled out of the middle of the crowd. He unashamedly hid behind Snape's body. "Back off!" Snape snarled at the crowd when they attempted to follow. They all stopped, looking appropriately terrified by the raging wizard.
"Now, Severus," Delphina pleaded. "They just wanted to see him. It's not every day they get to meet such a celebrity."
Harry cringed at the description, knowing exactly what Snape thought of celebrities. The Potions Master turned his black glare on his sister-in-law. "Well, they've seen him. Now make them go away. I didn't bring him here to be mobbed by this ridiculous rabble. Either they go, or we go!"
Delphina, who had been looking quite affronted at her family being called rabble, paled upon hearing Snape's threat to leave. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Right, of course. We'll, they weren't going to be staying for dinner anyway." She began shooing the lot of them out the door, Julliana moving quickly to help her. The crowd began dispersing with much protest.
"My apologies, Harry," Snape said, much to Harry's surprise. He'd actually been expecting to feel the wrath of Snape's tongue next himself. "Had I known you'd been set upon by a pack of wild dogs, I never would have brought you here."
Harry had also caught Snape's usage of his first name. They hadn't discussed it themselves, but Hermione had made it a point to tell him that he should probably use Snape's first name in public. It would look odd if he didn't. "That's okay, Severus," he replied, the name odd on his tongue. He saw something flickering in Snape's eyes, took a moment to realize that it was approval, before the man nodded in acceptance.
"I see you're still as charming as ever, Severus," Claudius remarked. "Wild dogs? Bit harsh don't you think?"
Severus turned to glare at his brother. "Hardly. I assume you thought we'd find this amusing?"
Claudius shrugged. "They wanted to meet him. You can hardly blame them? I'm sure Harry - can I call you Harry - gets this all the time."
"Yes, Sev, calm down," Marcellus agreed. "I mean the crowd must have been five times this size last week when Harry addressed the Witches Herbology Society's Luncheon."
"He's in school, you imbecile!" Snape roared. "He's not going around giving speeches at Luncheons! And since when did you start believing the tabloids!"
"Now see here, Severus!" Marcellus blustered, and Harry could see that far from being a reconciliation between brothers, this was going to erupt into a new family feud. Harry recognized the signs from living with Vernon Dursley for so long.
"Excuse me!" he cut in quickly, stepping between Severus and his brothers. The three of them looked at him in surprise. "No one came here to fight. Let's try changing the subject, shall we?"
Claudius and Marcellus looked baffled, as if the idea had not occurred to them - or maybe they just weren't used to someone running interference. Severus looked - actually Harry wasn't entirely certain how to interpret the look on the man's face. He suspected he'd probably just lost his house a few dozen points for daring to interrupt him while he was working himself up into a full fledged fit.
"Yes, please!" Diana chimed in immediately, stepping forward and smiling graciously at Harry. "Harry is right. We're all here to get to know each other again. Let's not start out with a senseless fight."
Severus' expression softened fractionally, and Harry sent Diana a grateful look.
"Now who wants something to drink!" Delphina exclaimed with a bright smile as she and Julliana returned to the room, having gotten rid of the in-laws. They breezed into the midst of the group, not noticing the tensions at all and began handing out various drinks to those present.
As Alrik took a whiskey glass from Julliana, he gave a nod to Harry. "Should have let them fight," he murmured just loud enough that only Harry could hear him. "Most fun we would have had all night. I was rather looking forward to it."
Harry said nothing as he took a glass of pumpkin juice from Delphina. Nervously he took a quick sip, then nearly choked as it burned his throat all the way down, leaving his eyes watering. Alrik slapped him hard on the back, grinning at him. "That brandy is from my private stock. Don't waste it," the man told him.
His reaction set Claudius and Marcellus laughing and they grinned good-naturedly at him. "Sev hasn't let you get into his private stores yet, I take it?" Claudius asked. "Shame on you, Severus. You're supposed to share everything."
Harry shot a nervous look at Severus, not certain what sort of reaction to expect from this. Severus just glared at his brother. "He never asked," he said simply.
"I'm not much of a drinker," Harry volunteered, hoping that brandy-laced pumpkin juice wasn't the only thing he was going to be offered all night.
"Would you prefer a butterbeer, Harry?" Julius suggested, holding up a familiar looking bottle.
"Thank you," Harry nodded gratefully. Julius be-spelled off the cap and handed the bottle and a glass to Harry. Oddly, he made a point of touching Harry's hands unnecessarily as he handed them over, and Harry glanced up into his face in surprise. The man just smiled at him, then moved away as Diana began telling Severus about her children and what they had all been doing these last few years.