Fifteen days after the Annual Malfoy Ball and he was ready to jump out of his skin. Over the course of those days, he quite often contemplated about the merits of Carroll's idea. The idea which notion he found utterly ridiculous all his life. Now, he did wonder if one could drown in the sea of tears?
It all started after the Ball. Contrary to his desires, neither one of them managed to get good night sleep. Not that night, and all the following nights. Hermione's screams woke them up, and a good part of the rest of the household, that night. Somehow he could understand that. Nightmares were a very close acquaintance of his.
The tears, however, started the morning after the Ball. They woke up with gifts tucked at the foot of his bed and her sofa. He hoped, in vain, that the mountain of multicoloured packages would lift her spirits. They had opposite effect! She opened her gifts one by one, her face sliding down with every box she opened. The end result was tears and sniffling which turned into inconsolable sobs when he asked her to help him with his gifts. That supposed to be a distraction, not.. an invitation to more tears.
He never felt comfortable around tears. If they weren't a potion ingredient he didn't know what to do with them. Or how to coerce a person that produced them to stop doing that. For the life of him, he couldn't discern what in the name of Salazar caused such reaction? It took him two additional days to dig up the reason out of her. The first waterfall invoked the fact that among all those gifts not a single one came from the Weasley's. It was on a tip of his tongue to use that as a nudge for her to finally leave him be. But he stopped himself afraid of more instead of fewer tears. The second river of tears had more confusing and annoying reason. His own 'distraction' technique broth it out. Of all the things she could choose to cry about, not remembering to get him a gift was the most idiotic excuse he could imagine. Even his cold remark that she shouldn't bother with that because he wouldn't entertain the notion of getting her anything didn't help.
That day, after tears came anger, directed at Lucius. She accused Lucius of a deliberate attempt to harm him!? The end result was sound of alarms. His magic flared again after numerous tries to stop them from hissing at each other, ignoring him. Alarms sounded when they pulled their wands. If he could he would strangle her! He did plan to confront Lucius and get to the bottom of Lucius's stunt, but after that incident, his hands were tied.
From there on, everything went downhill. Hermione flickered between slobbering sopping mess and outburst of anger with painful unpredictability. The only 'silver lining' if one could call it that way, her nightmares kept his own memory flow at bay. Holidays dragged out the worst in people, reminding them that they are social lice's. To his dismay, they found him as an appetising food. He barely managed to get a moment of peace. People who rarely gave him a thought in the day now lingering near his bed, trying to chat. Adding his own annoyance to her instability.
Other than that, his days fell into a routine of sorts. Not a pleasant routine at that.
Every morning would start with her flickering the wand at him. Irritating as that was, at least she didn't make a big deal of it. More importantly, she never spoke of it which made all that easier to hide it from Lucius. Hiding his… condition during the day… was more challenging. But even on those occasions she would simply flick her want and keep her lips sealed. That suited him well, except… he had no time to analyze the situation properly. Especially if he added the irritating tidbits of information, he had yet to chew on, left to him by Minerva. He tucked those thoughts for more private moments. Lucius wasn't skilled as he was, but with his own defences down… he didn't want to risk it. As skilled Occlumens he knew what physical, psychological and emotional demand was. He also knew that he couldn't fulfil them at the moment. The best solution was to control his thoughts process.
Hermione changed her dressing style after the party, too... well, if not more appropriate, then at least more concealing clothing. But, after situation didn't change… he was prompt to rethink on the cause. Of course, he was still exposed to a great deal of her skin and her… touching him, twice a day. Once, in the morning hours, during their pool exercises. The second time, during the evening hours bath time. If he could get a bit of free time he could untangle that messy ball of yarn and… well… squash the bug. But, as of lately, free time was in a short supply.
Also, after the party, he came to the conclusion that thinking about his end goal was... not only counterproductive but dangerous as well. Faking that he was on the path to recovery could yield more fruitful results. That brought him at least some peace of mind.
The physical exercises finally started to pay off. Agitated as he was with them, they served their purpose. His arms gradually gained more strength. Even his back and abdominal muscles started to shape up and give him a bit of support. He hoped that his legs will follow soon. After all, they were crucial for his escape from the golden cage.
Combination of the peace of mind and slow gain of physical strength resulted in the most satisfactory way. Around a new year, he managed to perform Nox charm, intentionally. Now, only the question of his missing wand remained. As temperamental as others found his wand to be, it served him well all his life. He was quite accustomed to an inflexible piece of ebony with Dragon-heartstring.
Even his wound finally started to heal. It gave him hope that soon he might start wearing shirts again. The discomfort of being bare-chested had nothing to do with room temperature or season. He felt exposed.
One of the most pleasant, if one could call it that, routines he found to be the work on 'their secret project'. Rarely he had the opportunity to work with someone. Even rare that someone had a brain capacity that didn't slow him down. That part of the day produced not only stimulated conversations, but they were also a distraction for her. Giving him in return rest from her outbursts. It also pushed his mind in the most unexpected direction. The lack of books on mind magic inspired Hermione to turn to more mundane books. Filling her trunk with Muggle medical books. He almost hoped that when holidays euphoria passes, they will have more time to devote to the research.
Those were normal days, of course. And he wouldn't be stuck with this particular retrospect if today was yet another normal day. For him it was. He never treated today differently than any other day. And he didn't plan to start. Except… he was in the only place… surrounded with the only people… who didn't treat this day as any other...
The pale light crawled over the horizon, but the room was still enveloped in darkness. She finally settled down after another round of nightmares. She fell asleep, leaving him to contemplate on recent developments. Now, he is doing his best to mentally fortify himself for the things that inevitably will follow.
Narcissa, he sighed, she will insist on cake and gifts. Lucius always gave him books, accompanied with the shared glass of wine or firewhiskey and silent cheer. He would sell his arse for a slow burn of liquor. Unfortunately, Poppy was quite adamant in her 'No.'…
…Late noon brought exactly the thing he dreaded. The door burst open and Draco barged in, followed by his parents. This time, Hermione stayed in the room, grinning. Misty popped in, snapping her fingers, and the bed tray table appeared with a moderately big cake on it.
"Happy birthday my friend!" called Lucius, pointedly avoiding to acknowledge Hermione's presence in the room
"If you try to hug me, Lucius,…" he growled, his mood along with the small hope he held, spiralling down
"No, no hugging. Who do you think am I?" Lucius made a face at him, one of mock disdain
"I am not above hugging." Grinned Draco
Narcissa grabbed the bed tray before Draco managed to throw himself over the cake. To his horror, he found himself not only in a tight bear hug from Draco but also lifted to a sitting position.
"Hey Granger, do your duty."
"I see you yet didn't start to use your brain, Malfoy." He heard Hermione biting back. But he felt bed behind him bend, he presumed she was fixing the pillows.
"You should keep your mouth shut and do your work, like every good house help." Sneered Draco
"For your information, you are doing my job at the moment. And you are doing it wrong at that." Her voice was matter-at-fact with the hint of snide. He hoped that this won't jolt Draco to let him flop back.
To his relief, it didn't. Lucius stepped in and helped Draco to pull him back so he could lean into sitting position. It took him by surprise that neither Lucius nor Narcissa reacted to the hissing match between Hermione and Draco. Either they heard it enough times not to give a meaning to it, or they decided to wait. He released a gush of air when Draco moved away from him and eyed Narcissa warily. She stepped closer and leaned, giving him light peck on a cheek
'At least she is acting normally.' He felt relieved
"We won't tire you too much, Severus." Narcissa smiled at him "You have visitors scheduled for the afternoon." He groaned
"Don't tell me they decided to make a big deal of today."
"Those who consider you their friend does. It is only Minerva and Potter."
"Potter?" he could scream, the need to die or run away overwhelmed him
"Well, he is coming to see Miss Granger…"
"Good, so he can see her without pestering me." He hissed
"Now, now Severus. Should I refresh your memory on how to behave?"
"You could only try and fail, Cissa."
Narcissa raised an eyebrow at him, Hermione giggled in the background. Lucius handed him a packet that looked like books.
"At any rate…" he drawled "I hope you'll find these particularly… entertaining."
He narrowed his eyes at Lucius who had a naïve face. The sole fact that Lucius didn't insist on him to open the present told him enough. He had nagging suspicion that he will have to open this gift while Hermione wasn't in the room as well.
"How can I ever repay for your generosity, Lucius?" he intoned glaring daggers at naively looking Lucius
Narcissa placed a soft bundle next to him
"You know what this is." she smiled tenderly
"There is no need to break the tradition." He replies in kind. Every year, Narcissa would gift him a set of the finest wizarding robes
"Why indeed." Grinned Draco, placing a square box of chocolates next to him.
"Thank you, Draco." He nearly laughed. Draco would traditionally gift him a box of Draco's favourite chocolates. The boy would munch the chocolates alone, knowing all too well that Severus didn't have the sweet tooth. It started when Draco was four and it was the only part of today he didn't mind. This year, however, Draco handed him another box
"Potter helped with this one." He winked "So, I wouldn't expect him to bring anything."
"The greatest gift from Potter would be not to come at all." He mumbled still annoyed with the fact that he would have to suffer through Potter's company.
"Well, Severus, we leave you to rest and prepare for this afternoon. Lucius don't you dare to tier him today." Narcissa straightens her back "Misty, you can take out the cake, we will need it later today."
The elf appeared and snapped her fingers. "For Lord Prince, my Mr Snape, Misty made special lunch today. Master Snape's favourite." She squeaked
"Thank you, Misty".
He started to feel like everyone around him conspired against him. Paranoia tightening in a heavy ball above his solar plexus. Once they left, Hermione approached him
"Ummm, happy birthday, Severus." She placed small bundle next to the other gifts, he blinked in confusion "Do you wished to open your gifts?"
"There is no need, I know exactly what the are."
"Still." She smiled and took her's "I'll start with mine." She unwrapped the paper revealing a scrapbook with news clippings that glorified him
'Nice attempt, Granger, but it won't work.' He thought
"I… didn't know what else to…" she blushed, mumbling while unwrapping Cissa's gift. "Oh, these are very fine robes!"
'I know I have full fresser of them.' Quipped his mind but he remained sombre and silent
"Chocolates? Does Draco know's you don't like chocolate?" she wrinkled her nose
"He does. Place them on the nightstand." He sighed, he had no intention of explaining to her the significance of the gift
"And these look like books." She picked up Lucius's gift
"Leave it." He commanded, but she ignored him
"Oh, these are heavy."
"I advise you against opening that gift." He tried again
"Malfoy said these books may entertain you. A little light reading isn't bad." She gave him one pointed look and he leaned more comfortably on the pillows. After all, it isn't his fault that she won't listen. He might indulge in a bit of amusement, after all.