He resisted the urge to say something which would sound more like his usual self. The need to tread carefully, more than ever before, forced his insides to crumble. Setting a bored, indifferent mask on his face more, he measured his words with care. What came out of his mouth, however, was far from what he wanted to say. In a way, it shocked him too, as well as all present in the room.
'At least they don't have advantage I do' he thought
The row of baffled faces bore into him and Hermione. Her confusion was obvious even before they showed up. He recognized the panic attack when he saw one. Her response was also quite predictable. Anyone else would start shaking or imitating fish out of the water, but she wasn't anyone. If nothing she could pass as a war veteran, she certainly reacted like one. In the face of imminent danger, her instincts kicked in. Muscle memory and fight-or-flight response taking over. He had no doubts that that was one of the key features, along with her quick and sharp intellect, which kept her alive during the war.
'Not only her.' He thought grimly glancing at mouth-gaping Potter
He could throw her under proverbial bus… No, it wasn't out of his good nature that he was sheltering the girl. Tonight she was his first line of defence, and she did the impeccable job. Her nearly eidetic memory was another asset. The one he was in desperate need off if he didn't want to end up creating the accidental Horcrux. And that is the last he wants. Not that he knew how to make one. Even his unquenchable thirst for knowledge of Dark Arts wasn't enough to push him towards opening that door. When it came to messing with order provided by mother nature, that is where he drew the hard line.
Seconds dragged. Hermione looked at him confused and still shaken to the core. He waited to see who will speak first, not bothering to compose the answer. At any rate, his answer would vary depending on who asked the question. The truth was only one out off the table. With that particular information, he has to deal alone. Question it. Dissect it. And finally, when he learns enough, squash it. Distortion was his forte, after all.
"Hermione, what happened?" Potter dared to speak first, earning sharp wince from Lucius
She looked at him, eyes wide and blank. He returned the gaze. Holding his eyes on her he addressed the no one in particular, giving the answer in her name
"Borodin overstepped his boundaries. Hermione did her duty and forced him out. He tried to attack, she knocked him out and called for help. Auror that stayed in the room was… impolite. Tonight Hermione is part of my… household staff… so it falls into my duty to react if I see fit. Which I did."
"Hermione?" Potter called the girl, she was still looking at him. He had the feeling that she replace attempt to break his fingers with staring at him. Feeling like a gigantic crutch didn't sit well with him. But in a retrospect, it was a step up from being an expendable chess piece.
"Hermione had a slight panic attack, Potter. I doubt she can recall much of the events."
"Borodin wasn't on the list of people who could come up here." Complained Lucius
"He must have slipped through, then." He retorted, diverting his eyes to Lucius, he will have a conversation with him later. The one Lucius won't like one bit. Turning his eyes to Kingsley he drawled "Honestly, Minister, one might think that you have some unresolved issues with me or Hermione. I can understand that Auror department is at the moment understaffed... but to place people with such strong opinions in the Manor, not to mention to guard my room… it makes one wonder."
"What strong opinions?" blurted Potter before Minister had chance to speak
"If an Auror set to guard my door calls me a Death Eater, Potter, it is well within his rights. And it isn't a complete miss. I do fall under that category. To call Hermione Death Eater sympathiser... not to repeat some of the more colourful names… it speaks in quite the volume about their… opinion. Or desire to be here in the first place. And this isn't the first time either."
"Was it the same one?" asked Kingsley with frown
"No."
"The one you threatened to report to Harry?" Hermione's voice was shaky, he silently congratulated her on her well-timed response
"When? Why did no one tell me this before? How many of them?" barraged Potter
'Good luck Minister in training this monkey to do your bidding' he thought with an amusement
"For now. one more, Potter. If I may suggest Minister."
"Yes?" Kingsley sounded grim
"If you believe it is imperative to leave someone to guard my door, may I choose among your Aurors?"
"Yes, of course, if you do have in mind someone you can trust, Lord Prince"
"Thank you, Minister. Watkins, Dolan." He called and they nodded stepping out, he did feel marginally better now. They were both his ex-students, but more importantly from his house.
"I'll stay." Offered Potter
"Potter, I don't think tonight you are here in an official capacity. Do go down and perform all the tricks you are expected to perform. Lucius, for tonight we finished with visitors."
"I'll issue the warning and close this…"
"Not so fast Severus, Mr Malfoy." Minerva's sharp voice caused both of them to flinch "There are still two of my students wanting to see you, Severus. You and Hermione, and it would do her good to see them too. You can't deny them that right, I'll supervise that visit."
"With all due respect, professor…" Hermione blushed and gulped but slowly turned to face Minerva "…your tone and the manner of addressing…"
"Hush Miss Granger. They may flaunt their titles under other people's noses. Those titles didn't matter in my classroom, and they still don't matter to me. My students stay my students as long as I live."
"Yes, professor." Hermione bowed her head
"Well, we settled all. Now, I'll ask all of you to return downstairs." Smiled Narcissa, her words had a power to move the group out of the room.
"Severus, I'll return soon."
"We'll wait for you, Minerva." He replied. He had nothing against the woman, in a way he respected her more after the last year. For years they had a sort of rivalling friendship.
When the door closed he turned to Hermione
"How do you feel Gran… Hermione?"
"Glad to be alive." she burped and recoiled at her own words
"As you should be. War is not for everyone. And if my experience taught me anything… in war, those who survive... may not always be the most deserving… but they are usually the most skilful ones."
"I…" she nodded, but he could see the inner struggle in her eyes "He did that on purpose, didn't he?"
"Who did what on purpose?"
"Malfoy." The name was almost spat out "He let that man up." That was the statement, not the question
"Hermione, I am inclined to believe that school did injustice to you by not placing you into Slytherin."
"If that supposed to be the compliment, I don't see it as one." She wrinkled her nose at him, frowning
"Too bad."
The sharp knock on the door stopped their conversation. Minerva marched in followed by Lovegood girl and Longbottom. Hermione jumped from the bed with a happy cry and run to hug her friends. Minerva took Hermione's place at the edge of the bed, turning her back to their students. Hermione was still trying to squeeze the life out of her friends with her embrace.
Minerva looked at him over the rim of her glasses and he hoped she won't start apologizing. He wasn't ready to deal with that. His eyes flickered from Minerva to three of his students and back. He stifled his thoughts from forming. Minerva sighed, looking sad and old.
"My 'secretary' deserted me the moment her friends showed up. You should introduce more discipline among your cubs, Minerva."
"Probably. They are my, but they are not my cubs anymore. They have grown up too fast."
"Kids are resilient, Minerva. They bounce back."
"They are not kids. Some of them never got the chance to be one. We… I failed, not just you but them as well. We did a terrible injustice to them. We failed them."
He blinked, lost for words. His brain desperately trying to decipher hidden meaning in her words, suddenly cautious. Minerva continued after the heavy pause
"I made the same mistakes I made when you were a student, and with the same price to boot."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Minerva. You did your best to protect them. The two are not comparable…"
"Nonsense. My memory still serves me well. They are the second generation in my lifetime that stepped from school bench into the war."
"We were older, Minerva"
"You may lie to yourself, Severus, but you cannot fool me I chose my blindness for far too long. Well, not anymore. Maybe Albus chose to look at the bigger picture and opportunities, but to what price? I am to blame for choosing to trust him more than my own eyes."
He remained silent. He and Albus never see eye to eye. At the same time, Albus was only one person he could confide in. He nearly hated the man and still, he thrust him almost as much as he trusted Lucius. And yet, not either one of them had his absolute trust. Not either of them knew what Hermione managed to… no, not learn… it wasn't out of choice or trust. Still, she had more insight into him. His eyes flickered to her and Minerva caught on it.
"She is lucky to have you, Severus. Lucky to have you guide her." Minerva sounded tired and defeated
"I am not guiding her Minerva, I'm doing my best to get rid of her. I wouldn't call that lucky"
"She is unwell and lucky to have you, many others like her don't have that luxury, Severus. On your worst mood, you are a far better option than to feel left deserted." Sighed Minerva, repeating "She is lucky to be here with you."
''You would change your tune if you knew how I tried to force her into a run.' He thought grimly
"Hermione, she is… unique. Not much unlike yourself, Severus. Do me a favour… if you can muster the strength to do any favours for me after everything… take care of her for me."
"She has her parents to take care of her."
"You honestly don't know?" Minerva obviously knew something he didn't, he gazed at her "Just before the start of the seventh year, she used memory charm on her parents. Now, we can't find them. To be honest, by now I thought she would obsess about mind magic and looking in how to reverse what she's done."
'You have no idea.' So many missing details fell into place. It is not that she just sprung the idea for what she did to him. She was studying mind magic and tried to save him when her search for reversal charm failed. He was so wrong, all so wrong. Oh, she had survivor's guilt, but not to the extent he thought. She had PTSD, he had no doubts about that. She was literal in her words, he was the only one she could save. She latched on him like a leach. No matter what he or anyone else did or say, she won't budge.
'Salazar, save me! I won't get rid of her – ever!' he felt almost desperate.
"I put my money on you, Severus." Minerva's voice reached him "Do not disappoint me."
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Harry went home, finally. She felt tired. She cast a monitoring charm, fussing around his wound. It looked rawer now and that worried her.
"Will you quit that and leave me be?" he snapped at her
"You needn't be so grumpy. And you shouldn't be so cross, I am glad that they finally see you as a hero you are. And that they care about you."
"Mhm" he blew a note through his nose and she thought how he mastered the skill that made even the exile of air to sound sarcastic and resentful
"Even Neville stopped being afraid of you."
"And since that was my life's goal, I am ecstatic as you can see." he sounded so… she couldn't find the word to describe it. "Go to bed Hermione. Rest, or at least let me rest."
"I need to thank you…"
"What you need, what we both need, is a good night sleep." He yawned and she decided to listen to him on this one.