Dear Diary,
Ever since I got you as a gift from aunt Nellie two years ago we have been best of friends. It's really weird having a book like a best friend right? lol.
There is something I need to tell you dairy but first I apologise for not having told you ever since. I have a wide range of imagination. Funny as it may sound but it's the truth.
Principal McAllister's observation actually awakened me. It kind of bothers me how she could read me like an open book or maybe it's not just me. Perhaps she reads every other student like that too.
When I was younger, I used to have a pretend playdate with my friends. We used to pretend we were princesses. Kenzie and Emily were my childhood friends and my next-door neighbours. They were stepsisters. Their parents divorced a few years after my parents did. Emily moved to the Netherlands while Kenzie stayed with her mom but later moved six months after to Texas. I miss them both.
I would pretend I was Princess Jasmine in Aladdin, Mackenzie would pretend to be Princess Belle and Emily was Cinderella. I chose to be Jasmine because when I was young I wished my parents would stop fighting and that things would get back to normal. If only I had a genie lamp. Mackenzie chose Belle because she thinks her yellow dress is cute, not a cogent reason if you ask me. Emily as Cinderella was quite more realistic because her mom died at birth and she has a stepmom. MacKenzie's mom is not really the nicest, I have witnessed her being quite cruel a few times. Kenzie was Emily's make-believe Anastasia, Kenzie would always make a fuss about not having everything Emily has. Emily was actually the most beautiful of us all. One could say that Emily is also a Snow White and Kenzie is the evil stepmother except that Kenzie is her stepsister. Emily's older brother, Sam was my prince charming. He was my first crush and even now, I think I still like him. I wonder where he is now and how much fun he is having with his sister, I really miss them both so very much. He was my Valentine's date in grade 6, he was in grade 8 then. That day was the best Valentine's of my life.
My friends and I would dress as princesses for Halloween. We knew it was not exactly the best Halloween costume to wear but we loved what we did and how it made us feel. We had our differences and fought several times but we had always managed to settle those differences. Kenzie was usually the main cause of our quarrels as she was a great bully. She would bully Emily into giving up her allowances and also covering up for her bad behaviour and when I found out as I mostly did, I would get angry and refuse to play make-believe. When we were in grade 7, we attended a girl's tea party together and Kenzie borrowed her mom's necklace without her permission. The necklace got missing and Kenzie's mom accused Emily of stealing the necklace. Kenzie's mom even told my mom and my mom told me to stay away from Emily. Emily was a good girl and was also my best friend, I couldn't do that to her besides I knew she did not steal the necklace. I told Kenzie to turn herself in and five days later, when she didn't turn herself in, I told her parents. Her parents divorced two months later.
After Emily, her brother and her dad left for the Netherlands, Kenzie never spoke to me again. I tried to tell her that I forgive her for lying and that I still wanted to be friends but she didn't listen to me. At first, I thought she was ashamed of herself until when we were at Ashley's house for a sleepover and we were playing a truth syndrome game and she said she hated me. She accused me of being the cause of her parent's divorce. When Kenzie's mom accused Emily of stealing the necklace, the news spread across town and when the truth got out, Emily's dad was really angry and MacKenzie's mom was ashamed of her daughter. The parents fought every day, I could hear them shouting on top of their lungs at night, their voices rang through the neighbourhood. The fight continued for two months before they finally got divorced. Emily's dad blamed Kenzie's mom for raising her child badly and Kenzie's mom, in turn, blamed Kenzie. Kenzie is not the kind of child that got scolded so she didn't like her mom blaming her so she turned the blamed on me. I do not blame myself though. All I see is an irresponsible mother and her spoilt child trying to put the blame on an innocent girl. Kenzie was kleptomaniac, I had caught Kenzie on several occasions stealing at the candy store and she had even got caught in the mall for shoplifting when we were six. My personal driver then, Mr Smith got her out of trouble and I promised her that I would not tell her parents. I was really proud of myself that I stood up for the truth and didn't let Emily suffer unjustly and probably saved a friend from a possible jail term in the future. Kenzie stopped stealing after then though she never talked to me again.
Now that am older, I still believe in being a princess, it is not just like the way it was when I was young. I see things from a different perspective now. When I was young I believed that to be a princess, you have to be of royal blood and be beautiful and have a throne, a thousand tiaras, fifteen thousand dresses, lots of maids, a large castle and you must be married to a prince charming. Now as a young adult, I believe that every girl as a princess inside of her and every story is a fairy tale. I am not of royal blood and neither do I have dresses and tiaras and maids and castles but I am a leader just like every other princess. I am beautiful inside and outside of me, I am fearless and bold and I have dreams, therefore, am a princess. Also, I hope to meet my prince charming soon.
I do not imagine to be a princess anymore because I believe I am one already. The older me wants to be a Kim Kardashian and meet my Kanye West on a white Mercedes in. I want to be a Diva, a celebrity. I want to be popular. I want to live in Los Angeles, visit places like Dubai, Paris, New York, Rome, Venice for vacations and Lodge in expensive hotels. I want to wear Louise Vuitton, Balenciaga, Prada, Gucci and other designers. I want to live in a large condo and have millions of dollars in my bank account. I want to be like Kathy Perry, living my life as a teenage dream. I want to be like Miley Cyrus showing on MTV. I want to be like Christen Storm, drinking blood in a Hollywood world. I want to have vampires for boyfriends. I want to be sitting on top of the world on the cover of a magazine with fifty million followers. Living my life like the world is wide open cos all of this years am just hoping. I want to be on radio and t.v station, have my own reality show, cast in a blockbuster. I want to own a Limousine, win Grammy, Oscar, Academy, BET awards. I am on top of the world, when can I ever be free? With all, you looking at me. Right now I am high on this rollercoaster, never realized what matters most.
Is that life just a dream? I can't deal with the real everyday routine. I have never stopped dreaming because I know I might be a star.
Despite what principal McAllister said, I am not sure I am ready to completely step out of my imaginations. They keep me going and help me remember who I am.
When you look up in the sky, look for me. I will be flying so high.
Update: Friends and family may desert you but your memories and imagination never will