I've realized that maybe I was drawn to Alicia before because of pity. I wanted to protect her from her bullshit family. At a young age, she was abused by her alcoholic mother. And it worsened when her mom remarried. Her step-sister made sure that her life should be a living hell!
"Until when will you stay here?" I asked casually not paying much attention to her pretentious sympathy.
"As long as she needs me... you know, I think this is the last time for us to patch up," she replied as I smirked. I wasn't buying it!
"Well honestly, until she dies maybe," she said unsympathetically. I curled my fist to control my anger. I knew she was lying because after paying the bills and leaving some cash, she left that day.
My phone beeped.
'Babe... where are you?'
'At home.'
'Can you come over? It's Saturday and I have nothing to do.'
'Uh... I have an urgent matter to do.
Maybe tonight~'
'Uhm... okay~'
'Love you~
♥♥♥'
'Love you more~
♥♥♥'
I felt so guilty for lying to her. I couldn't just tell her about Alicia.
I know that she'd understand but she's also jealous of her. Amanda felt threatened by Alicia thinking that I still love her. I was really torn and I needed someone to talk to. Before realizing it, I was scrolling my phone then dialed Helena's number.
"Anderson! What did you do this time?" she asked in her usual gleeful tone. I sighed. Seemingly understanding the heavy burden I had, Helena's voice became tender.
"I am at the hospital now?" I said.
"Oh god! What happened? Are you sick?"
"No, I am perfectly fine. It's Alicia~,"
"Alicia? You mean Alicia, the ex-girlfriend?"
"Yeah. She's... dying."
I couldn't control my emotion and tears freely flowed down my face. I heard her gasp and there was a moment of silence.
"A-are you okay? How is she?" Helena asked tenderly. The concern in her voice made me even emotional. Helena is the only person in the world who knew the secret that I couldn't tell, even to my parents. We had that bond, the trust that stood the test of time.
And she has been wise that made us close. She's my counselor. I was her protector though she didn't need that much protection.
"I haven't told Amanda yet," I confided. "I am not sure how she's gonna react."
"But I think she deserves to know the truth, Brad. If she does love you, she must understand," she said. I was quiet. I weighed things.
"What if she won't? I can't bear to lose her," I replied.
"Brad, you have to trust her decision. And doing the right thing will free you from lifetime guilt. Besides, no secrets are buried forever, Anderson," Helena patiently explained.
"She's right. I have to tell Amanda about the situation. She's part of my life now so she deserves to know what's going on," I told myself.
"Thank you so much, Wolf," I said. She chuckled.
"Na. No biggie, Anderson! What are friends for?" she replied. We talked a little bit more before ending the call.
I felt guilty when I realized how she listened to my problems and I didn't even bother asking how she's going in her new school.
"You're a jerk!" I cursed myself.
Then Alicia called in a very weak voice, "B- brad~." I turned to see her crying again.
"Shhhhhh. Please don't cry," I said while wiping her tears.
"I am so sorry..." she said. She stared at the window.
"Hey... there you go again," I scolded in a warm voice.
"No... I can feel my body weaken each day. I don't have much time left..." she took shallow breathes.
"I am sorry for all the pain I caused you... I think... that... I... am being punished for it..."
I just held her hands as she cried. Due to sleepless nights and fatigue, my body succumbed to exhaustion. I had fallen asleep while sitting at her bed and was awoken by Alicia's gentle tap.
I checked the time. 10 o'clock p.m.
'Oh shit!' I cursed silently as I remembered Amanda.
'Hi, babe... are you still awake?'
----no reply----
'Babe... I am sorry~
I fell asleep...'
----no reply----
She didn't reply or answer my calls. So I went to her dorm the next morning. But, she wasn't there.
I was dialing her number when I heard her laughter. I turned to see her in her jogging outfit and beside her was---
"Peter..." I uttered. They both looked shocked when they saw me standing in front of her doorstep.
"Hi, babe..." Amanda said who quickly recovered from her shock.
"Hi..." I answered before pulling her closer to me and claimed her lips for a long time. Peter looked down. I triumphed inside.
"Right dumbass! She's mine," I thought.
"What brings you here this early?" she said after pulling away.
"You didn't answer my calls," I said in a cold tone.
She checked her phone. Then her eyes widened.
"Oh gosh! Sorry. I forgot to reset my phone. It's in---"
"Silent mode!" I finished.
"Sorry, babe!" she uttered apologetically. She threw her hands around me.
I smiled. Then, I remembered Peter standing beside us. So, I wrapped my arms around her before giving butterfly kisses on her face.
She giggled.
Peter cleared his throat.
"See ya around!" he said before storming away.
I grinned at the thought that he's feeling jealous right now.
"By the way... you seem so disturbed lately," she said as we sat down on a concrete bench in front of her dorm.
I took a deep breath. My mind and heart battled whether to tell her the truth or not. Remembering Helena's advice, my heart won.
"Alicia is sick," I said.
There was a long silence before I spoke.
"It's not what you think. She has no one here. I have no feelings for her anymore..." I explained.
"Babe... please understand. I----"
"Why you?!" she asked.
"She has no one else here. She---"
"No friends? Boyfriend? Nothing?!" she questioned not masking her irritation.
"Babe--- listen," I tried to calm her down. She suddenly stood up and walked away, so I followed.
I held her hand to stop her from walking.
"Please understand... I don't love her so there's nothing to be annoyed at," I said calmly.
She said nothing. She harshly removed my hands from her arm then went inside.
I shouted calling her name.
"Fuck!" I cursed when she didn't listen.
For the succeeding days, I wooed her.
I sent her flowers and chocolates until I saw her smile again. I nearly lost her before, I couldn't afford to lose her again.