The man in the room next to me is kind. Much kinder than the women who visit me. They teach me letters and numbers. I have a big vocabulary they said. But they are not nice, not when I can't see what they want me to see.
"You're special." The man in the room next to mine tells me. I don't know what he means, I feel pretty ordinary.
Late at night we talk through a crack in the wall. I guess it's night. I can't really tell because my room doesn't have any windows. I'm allowed out of my room with my guard. The old ladies who visit said I need to be protected at all times.
I've never met the man next door, but he tells me stories and memories. He tells me about some lady with hair like a raven. A raven is a bird but I don't know what color it is. Purple maybe?
"I've got to go little one." His deep voice says quickly.
I can hear movement and then the tiny crack in the wall is gone. I am all alone again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You have proved to be valuable." One witch said. It was surprising the others weren't present.
"I haven't done anything you've asked of me." I growled.
"You've lived. That's all we can hope for." She smiled and if she wasn't the cause of my suffering, she could've been called beautiful. "I have news of your mate."
A low growl escaped my lips. Although I am an Alpha, my command doesn't extend to other species. "Keep Gin out of your filthy mouth."
"She's married."
My body froze, it felt as though my bones were made of glass and those words completely shattered me.
"What?" I said dumbfounded.
"To her second mate. Don't worry, your son only saw her having his pup in the near future."
I lunged for the witch but the silver chains cut into my wrists and ankles. Blood and the smell of burnt hair reached my nostrils.
"Careful love, you wouldn't want to leave Augur all alone with us, would you?"
I slumped back down, defeated. The wolfsbane in my system was taking its toll. Being away from Regina all these years nearly killed my wolf. He's the weakest he's ever been. Some days I can't even feel Nocte at all.
"You'll see Regina again." I didn't bother looking at witch leaving my presence. "In this life or the next."
The door clanged shut. I could faintly hear her enter Augur's room but all my worry was focused on Regina. I don't blame her for moving on. The thought of another man touching her, how I've touched her, stirs the bitter rage that has laid dormant inside me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A loud knock on the door surprises me. I look up from my book about dinosaurs.
"Hello Augur."
"Mistress Cupio." I said, looking at her long curly red hair.
"We shall practice our inner eye today."
I frown. I'm not good at the inner eye. The man next door, called Rex like my dinosaurs, said not to be afraid of what I don't know yet. It's hard when the women hurt me just because I don't know how.
"Come, we are going to the calm place."
I slowly get up and hold her hand. The calm place isn't really calm. It has pictures carved on the floor, walls, and ceiling. The all black color makes me feel scared. White letters are written in chalk all over but I don't know those letters yet.
Mistress Cupio told me to sit in the middle of the floor circles. She leaves the room and I hear the lock. Sometimes they leave me in here for hours. If I don't see what they want they will hurt me. It isn't my fault I see moving pictures and their death a lot.
I close my eyes and try to reach the place in my head. The inner eye is hard to get to. Only one time I got there because they were hurting my only friend, Rex. I remember the fear, anger, and worry. The inner eye is close, I can see a tiny light. I think about my feelings of sadness and the inner eye light gets bigger.
All the moving pictures are here together. It's too much. I start to pull away but then I see a lady. I think she's the one Rex talks about because her bright green eyes. Hey! They look just like mine! Well, sometimes. My eyes change to silver a lot. Her eyes change to yellow orange and back to green. Tears fall down her cheeks. She's sitting on the floor holding her tummy. She keeps saying no a lot. I feel sleepy. Everything shuts. I am back in the dark room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's been a month since our wedding and I haven't had to face him again. What was I thinking? The guilt tears at my insides. I would blame the mate bond making me horny like a schoolgirl, but the truth is I wanted him. He felt like hope and I hate myself for thinking I could have a normal future with him.
Besides who takes what a male wolf says at face value. He very well could've been shacking up with that bimbo.
*You can sense when your mate is dishonest. Stop trying to justify your actions.*
I ignore Praesul. I've been doing that more often lately.
I look at the clock, 6:45 AM. A few outfits lay sprawled across the bed. Before I could decide what to wear, I felt the heat rising. This could seriously not be happening right now. I make my way to the bathroom. In there, I have a secret room that I hide in during heat. It is kept at frigid temperatures and supplied with water. Since I'm an Alpha, my heat can attract my mate miles away.
Slowly, I enter the small chamber feeling consciousness leaving me. I make sure to close the door behind me and fall unceremoniously naked onto the bare mattress.
Faintly, I hear scraping at the door. No one can enter once I've locked the space from the inside. I sit up when I hear the door bang open. Did I forget to lock the door? The heat induced fever makes my vision blur. I feel the water on my lips and try to drink.
"You're dehydrated." His voice gravelly and filled with emotion. "Drink and let's get your fever down."
His eyes were purely dark blue. A shiver ran up my spine and not because I was cooling down. In fact, the heat intensified when I thought of how he could help me get my fever down.
"Stop fantasizing. I'm barely holding onto my control. Your heat and arousal are killing me. My wolf wants to take you right here and right now but you're in no state for that."
Before I could stop myself I whimper, "Please."
"Oh fuck." He closed his eyes and I could tell he was having an inner battle with himself. When his eyes opened and they remained pure dark blue I knew I'd won. "Just remember, you asked for it."