When faced with yourself head-on, can you flee? Can you pretend not to see? Phoenix asked this as the mind flickered with a hurricane of thoughts. Just as it thought it was over, it discovered how in reality, it had simply found it's way into the eye of it's own mental storm.
As every memory floated around it, making Phoenix confused, it saw them clearly. Every annoyance creeped up on it, as it felt things more strongly. It wasn't that it had been simply annoyed. It had been scared to leave it's home. The safety zone. Everything it had ever known.
It could have done simply nothing to avoid that. But it also somehow knew it had to go with the little girl that had been in front of it. Her clear eyes that had resolutely asked it to join her on a quest for answers was not something it could decline in it's confusion. That much it knew.
It also knew it couldn't have stayed behind without a purpose. This wasn't how it had gone with the others having graced it with their presence in the cave through the times. With them, Phoenix had simply told the story and the countless Young One's had gone out into the world filled with new purpose.
Of course, Phoenix had no idea what happened to them after, nor did it care much about this. Or at least that's how it used to be. Somehow it felt a nagging feeling rising up amidst the storm, as questions slowly started to form. It wasn't yet enough for Phoenix to fully admit to these wonders, but it was enough to shift a very important core element of it's very being ever so slightly.
"Where did I get the story from…?" Phoenix asked out loud in a little whisper, as everything felt too overwhelming to keep inside of it's head. The story couldn't have come from nowhere. It had to come from somewhere, someone or something. Even Phoenix knew this much for sure.
"Have I simply been alive for such a long time that I forgot?" It asked in a low voice once again, as it had decided it was bothering it a lot. Simply having forgotten would make sense. It was inclined to simply take this as the answer and move on. Phoenix would have done this before. It knew it would have taken the first answer as the best and rolled with it, only questioning oppositions to it.
However, the full realization of being able to admit to not knowing something, had made it harder to frivolously come up with answers. Phoenix could feel this.
Life, or rather, the definition of life that Phoenix had known, was simple. Easy. It would simply wait in it's cave for a Young One, it would tell the story, send them on their way, go to sleep, and wake up again years later when the new Young One would find it's way.
As Phoenix was drowning in the storm of how things used to be, it felt like it got strangled. Questions. Answers. Life. Death. Was anything even worth wondering this much about in the first place? Could Phoenix not simply throw everything away as it pleased, only doing what it felt like?
"The way things are supposed to be" Phoenix told itself, as if it had an epiphany, though in reality, it had simply just decided on a seemingly random sentence it could say to make itself feel better. Exactly as it had always done when it was in doubt. It didn't know these exact words had been uttered to Yvie by the mermaid it so disliked. At least, it shouldn't know.
Though Phoenix had made way for change, mentally as well as physically, it still had the old habits that wasn't easy to get rid of. They would creep up on Phoenix, slowly but surely making sure it fell back to the start. But the way to see proper change was just as such. How long does it take, from finding yourself in a predicament, to dragging out the usual coping mechanism? The longer time the struggling would last, the longer the time of wondering and wandering would be, the more you would tend to slowly change outlook. Even if it ended up with falling back once in a while. The distances you could walk on your own would be longer for each fall.
But Phoenix did not know this, nor did it care. Even though it had gotten thrown every single question, action and thought it had ever had, straight in the face, it could still not admit to properly working out what to do with it.
It was simply easier to find a fake answer once again. It only needed to last until Phoenix could find a new, slightly better one.
"Should I just fly away?" Phoenix asked itself out loud, but at once got it's eyes caught on the resting Yvie, who seemed to be sleeping deeply as the moon was starting to rise. Feeling pulled towards her, Phoenix knew the answer, and somehow that alone seemed to be enough.
Phoenix couldn't leave her. No matter how annoyed they got at each other, no matter the amount of bickering, as well as mistreatment. It simply couldn't.
Phoenix didn't know why or how, but an answer stood clear inside of it. Screaming at it, as the storm continued to rage on, though it got ignored with all it's might.
"I cannot leave Yvie" Phoenix said out loud, looking lovingly and tenderly at the sleeping girl, who's silver hair shined as the moonlight tried to touch it. Her pale skin glowed up around her, though it didn't light up like her snake-skin. Rather, like the moon softly touched her, caressing her, making sure she didn't wake up.
Phoenix found itself simply staring in a daze at what transpired in front of it. As it stared, it felt the hurricane of thoughts just calming a tiny bit down. It felt a sense of calmness as the face from Yvie emitted this.
"I really cannot leave her" Phoenix told the moon, as that was the only being awake, and Phoenix dearly needed a conversation partner for the first time in it's life.
The night gave a sigh as the moonlight looked down on the two. The red sand had faded into a slight brown, as Yvie and Phoenix both felt like their minds faded a bit as well, having been spending too much energy on the things they couldn't figure out.
And so, the moon lulled Phoenix asleep as well as the soft light gave it answers it couldn't understand.
At least…
For now…