Hi my name is Violet Peters. It's now been three years since the accident. Dad and I have moved to seven different places since then. Today I'm starting at a new school. I tried to convince Dad to homeschool me, but he says I need to stop shutting people out. Yes I have sever cases of depression and anxiety. I also am still extremely mentally broken, but feel as though it was my fault she died. Because she was coming to my party. Life is basically pointless to me. I live in a black and white world where I'm constantly taunted by the universe. About a year after her death Dad was diagnosed with cancer and now I'm working two part-time jobs to help pay for medical bills. But I mean that's just my life.
"Dad do I really have to go?"
"Yes honey this might be really good for you. Plus it's been three years, you need to start making new friends."
"But I don't want new friends. You know I hate talking to people. Sadie was the only person I ever talked to."
"Please try sweetie... for me?"
"Fine...love you Dad."
I quickly kissed his cheek and got out of the car. I did my little ritual I made up. Put in my earbuds and count my steps. I found this helps a little bit with my anxiety. Lucky before school started Dad and I came and got my papers and found all my classes so I don't have to ask anyone for help. 1..2..3..4..5...
I hate coming to new schools because everyone starts whispering about the new girl. Not all of it is good either. I know this because I've gotten pretty good at reading lips with my headphones in, but it's high school what can you expect.
20..21..22..23..24..25...
I memorized how many steps it takes to get to my classes so I don't have to ever look up and look at all the others faces. The first class is about 50 steps from the front door. Then my second class is about 124 steps from that class. And my third well...you get the point. Honestly though the only good thing about this school is that it has a roof I can go to at lunch to avoid people, and to chill at while while I wait for dad to pick me up after school after his visit to the doctors. I get to class and sit down. After like five minutes the teacher comes in.
"I understand that we have a new student in class today. Can you please introduce yourself?"
(I really hoped this wouldn't happen)
I stand up.
"I'm Violet Peters."
"Is that all miss Peters or can you tell something about yourself?"
"Umm I like music."
With that I sat down and looked at my paper again which I was doodling on. The class started. I've been trying to get ahead in my classes so I could maybe graduate earlier. So I guess I'm a straight A student. After all the morning classes I went and got myself an apple and went to the roof. Thankfully I was the only one up there. I ate my apple and decided to go and sit on the ledge. I have to admit that life does have some beautiful moments. Like this beautiful view from the roof. I decided to stand up so I can feel the breeze. As I stand up I felt so free. But it ended fast after looking down and getting those stupid thoughts in my head again. I would never commit suicide but with the mental state I'm in I have thought about it once or twice. Right as I'm about to sit back down to get off the ledge I hear someone scream.
"NO DON'T JUMP!!!"