Monica
Sacrifice
Are we really doing this?
All the board of directors of the company gathered before us today. We left Manila on the day that Francis would be presented as the new CEO of Carluccio's.
I didn't feel like sitting next to my father who was also sad. As days passed by, I started to understand why he did it. But this is not right at all. It is so hard for me to let this go where these are all I have.
"This was a very hard decision for you, Mr. Carluccio. But this was the best decision you made for the safety of your daughter." One of the boards commented.
"I know. This is all I can do to protect Monica." Papa relied.
Really Papa? This is all you can do for me?
We have money! We have an influential family! We have the best connections and ties to other families that can help us! And most of all, Italy is on our side. But why do I feel like we are powerless?
"Threat is not a joke. If I were in your position, I would be scared for the sake of my daughter too." The man in front of me said.
Just a few minutes later, Francis arrived. He was accompanied by a lawyer and a woman, I guess was his secretary. Just like the ones he wears when he goes to the mansion, that's what he wears today. Just different colors and designs.
"Welcome, Mr. Rodriguez." Papa greeted him.
All of them stood up to greet the man who came. But I remained seated and only looking at the folder in front of me.
"Monica," I heard my father whisper but I didn't flinch.
I just took a deep breath and glared at Francis. When I was satisfied with the five-second stare I returned my eyes to what I had been looking at before.
I won't greet him like all of you did. I never approved this.
"Have a seat, thank you." Francis said.
They all followed and my father sat down next to me. At the end of the table, Francis was sitting just next to Papa and me so I could see his stare from time to time.
They began discussion and voting for the new leader among them. I lazily listened to them while my fingers just played under the table. I shouldn't have been here in this meeting but I forced Papa just to hear everything they had to say.
"So it is a fair vote. We all want this man to be appointed as the CEO." Father said.
I rolled my eyes. I was the only exceptional person inside this convention room who did not raise a hand for the vote. And I don't think that matters and my father didn't tell me.
I pulled out my cell phone and typed a message under the table.
Me:
Busy for tonight?
I sent a message to my cousin Matteo who lives here in Manila because this is where he is attending university. He is the son of my uncle Mr. Valmoria and since childhood he has been my companion and playmate. They visit Italy every vacation because that's where I attended elementary school.
Matteo:
Studying.
Studying? To my knowledge it is vacation today. Don't college students have a break?
Me:
Can you spare some time for me?
I just need someone to talk to. To the person that I know who can understand me.
Matteo:
Definitely not.
My interpretation of the message he answered me was harsh. Even when he really is like this. Even though he was rude and didn't seem to care, he didn't let me down. He was willing to do what I wanted.
I am spoiled by him.
"It is time for signing the contract," Francis' lawyer said.
How many more contracts must be signed? Even in this office, that's all they're gonna talk about.
"Yes we will," one of the boards said pleasantly.
The paper held by the lawyer began to rotate and all boards had to sign there. They all no doubt wrote their name on that paper. And as I look at them my heart breaks. My tears are forming and the only thing I feel now is depression. I don't want us to let it all go. I want Papa to just take back what he said and get everything back to normal.
If my life was still in danger, Carter was there to protect me. I will allow him to take more people to watch over me and the whole house. I will no longer be a critic and I will always follow Papa and Helga. Just to get back all that has been removed into our name.
"Mr. Carluccio, it is time for your signature." The lawyer said.
The paper landed in front of my father and he stared at it. I looked at my father and I could see he was hesitant. He looked at me and its eyes were sad.
Don't, Papa. Don't sign. Please, don't do this.
"Perdomani," he mouthed. He said to forgive him. How Papa?
"No," I shook my head to show my contradiction.
It was there that my tears flowed when Papa wrote his full name and signed it. Tears of my depression flowed because there was nothing I could do to recover. The tears that nothing can do because I have no ability.
Papa gave the paper to the lawyer and he gladly accepted. My gaze fell on Francis. He sat expressionless and seemed pleased with my fall. He looked at me while there were tears on my cheeks.
Are you happy with what you see? Don't you feel pity at all?
"I will read the contract," the lawyer said.
"Miss Monica needs to sign also," Francis said.
I looked at him at what he said. His expression didn't even change.
Isn't it enough that everyone has signed that paper?
"Mr. Rodriguez, my daughter has nothing to do with this. I assure you. Let's not get her involved in this." My father said pleadingly.
"That's right," they said.
"I think the new CEO is right. Miss Monica somehow got involved in this. Let her sign also for her part." The eldest board of directors said.
Now that Papa is no longer in charge of Carluccio's, I have no protection anymore. And whatever the directors want, Papa is no longer against it.
"She's at the right age now. She knows about it. Her part in this meeting will mean a lot." Francis said.
My father held my hand under the table causing my gaze to shift to him. New tears dripped from my eyes when I saw that my father did not even object. His nods signaling that I should follow their wishes.
"I won't sign this contract," I said straight to Francis.
"You are a witness. All of them signed, everyone in this room because they witnessed this." He said.
"I won't sign it! I will never sign it!" I cried. My tears are now falling rapidly on my cheeks.
"Monica, please! Per favore!" I was stunned by my father's yelling.
"Sit down. Sign this. And we will go home!" Papa gently pulled my hand away so I could sit down. He forced my palms open to place the pen. I could do nothing but cry.
How many nights have I been like this? I could not sleep well because of the tears that were dripping. I can't move properly and I always stare at nothing.
My hands trembled as I wrote my full name. My tears flow like a waterfall. When I finished my signature there was another tear in front of my name so that part was wet. I pulled away the paper and wiped my cheeks.
It was as if I had been killed because I had run out of strength to stand in my chair. I also wouldn't want to do a handshake with him and greet him. He is now the new owner of Carluccio's and I can see the smiles of the senior board directors. They still seem happy that we have lost everything.
We are the only ones left in the room, quiet and stunned. I tried to dry up my tears. My dad was just sitting on his chair and I could hear him sigh heavily. Francis suddenly entered the room again and sat far away from us.
"I need you to pack all your things in the mansion. I will be moving in." He said.
"Will you move urgently? We still need to find a new home for us." Papa asked. Is he really willing to let us get out of our own house?
"No. I'm not leaving the house." My stubbornness.
"I never agreed to that. I didn't sign." I said. I will never let him have his way to our house.
"Read the contract again," he threw the folder in front of me.
I quickly picked it up and opened it. It states that all our property as well as the company will go to him. The only thing he didn't move was the house where my grandparents lived in Tuscany. And this contract was effective immediately! And it means that we are not to disobey the new owner's request.
"This can't be," my signature is on it!
Why do I feel like the world is against me?
Why do I need to feel this burden that keeps on burying my feet to the ground that I don't even know how to stand firm again?
Have I done anything wrong to make me experience this?
My cousin Matteo couldn't stand me when I called to pick me up. I know I'm bothering him but I don't know who else I can go to at the moment. I didn't want to go home because Papa would just force me to put away my things.
"How long are you going to stay here? Maybe you can see what I'm doing." Matteo said rudely. He even fixed his glasses and even her hair was messy as well. He's still in his pajamas.
"You have contact lenses. Why do you have to wear those glasses? It sucks." I said. Don't get me wrong, my cousin is a fine man. He is gorgeous. But I don't like him in glasses.
"I am not wearing something to please you," he said.
It went to his desk to open a book. His unit was huge. And you won't think it's a studio type because each room is nicely shared. There is a kitchen, a single bedroom at the end, a study area, and a sala to receive any visitors.
I wish to live in this kind of house.
I smirked. "Do you already have a girlfriend?" I sarcastically asked.
"Will you shut up? If the reason you're coming here is just to annoy me, I'll deliver you to your Dad." He said in a hostile tone.
I have my ways to distract him. He can't really focus when I'm here. Just like today, their finals are near, so all he did was to study. They are not on vacation yet. What a pity for him.
"Get a woman already. Others will be ahead of you." I approached his desk to see what he was doing.
"It is not yet the right time," he said without looking at me.
All I can see are the long articles and essays. Republic acts of the country. Different kinds of law. And other related literature for his course. He's taking up law and he's really taking it seriously.
I heard him groan. "Fine!" He grabbed my hand and made me sit on the sofa. He went into his kitchen and I heard the opening and closing of his refrigerator. He came back and sat down next to me carrying two green bottles of beer. He opened it both and handed me a bottle. I gladly accepted that and immediately gulped one.
"You really know me," the beer tastes great.
I gulped again the beer he gave me. It's been a long time since I last tasted a beer like this. As my drinking increased, Matteo stopped and snatched the bottle from my mouth. He laid it on the table in front of us and looked at me intently.
"Okay. Tell me." He said.
I took a deep breath and pulled my cell phone out of my bag. I laid it on the table and pressed the start button to start playing the recording.
"Tell me the truth. Did you use me? Did you use me to your advantage?"
"You're the first to come to me. And even if you don't come, I can carry out my plans."
"So this is your plan? To seize everything I have?"
"You are not part of the plan,"
"I will tell my father about this. I will tell everything to him. I will tell your stupid plan!"
"Go and tell him. As if he will believe you."
"He will believe me because I am his daughter!"
"You have no proof,"
"I am the proof!"
"Let's see,"
And the recording stops. It was me and Francis talking and confronting the last time he went to my house. I recorded everything he said because I can use that to my defense.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Can I use this as evidence?" This should be enough.
"Where will you use it?" He asked again.
Did he seriously doesn't have any hint?
"On him," I said firmly.
I saw that his expression became serious. He looked me in the eyes and sighed slightly.
"Monica, it's not enough for you to bring down a big man." He says.
"What do you mean? You heard what he said!" I sighed.
"So what? That he plans to take everything from you? It's clearly stated in your recording that he didn't admit everything." He answered.
What does this mean? We both heard the recording and it was very clear that I caught Francis with his plan.
"I caught him! When he heard what he said he would probably be scared. He could do nothing but give me everything." I said desperately.
"Monica. No. Listen carefully." He laid down on the table the beer he was holding without even reducing it.
He turned to me and picked up my cellphone to listen to the recording again. Now everything Francis and I said was repeated. We both listened to it.
"If you want to get everything, there's not enough evidence. You need heavy and solid documents proving the plan you say he made." He stated.
"This recording is useless. This is not considered as a proof, anyway." He added.
"What kind of documents should I have to prove that he is a fraud?" I asked. He should know more.
"Imagine that you are participating in a war. All of your team are dead and you are the only one standing. You still have three people to kill. You have a gun, but you only have one bullet left." He said.
I tried to imagine that. "Why would I have to be in a war?" I asked.
"Try to set your foot on the scenario I created!" He hissed.
Because he said that, I still did. I tried to live in the scenario that he made.
"The three terrorists are near, surrounding you since you're the only one left standing. Your last bullet is in your gun ready to aim. It can kill one person, two if you are a pro. And then, you still have one enemy to kill, if you don't have any bullets, what weapon should you use?" He seriously said while focusing on looking at me, communicating with my eyes.
"I've never been in a war. How should I know what weapon to use?" I really don't know.
"You need a knife. A very sharp knife. And stab the terrorist right on its chest." He answered his own question.
"I am not really that violent. And I don't know how to kill a person!" I said exhaustedly.
"That is not what I mean," he said.
He picked up my cell phone and addressed it to me. Because it was right on my face it opened because of the face ID and its passcode. The stationary recording was still there and I didn't know if I would press it or not.
"You need stronger evidence if you want to get what you want. You can't go to war when you're unprepared or lacking a weapon. That's what I mean." He said.
Now I understand.
"If you're not ready, you'll lose." Matteo replied.
I listened over and over again to the recording of our conversation with Francis. I realized that Matteo was right, I couldn't use it as evidence because it was useless. Our conversation was not clear and I was the only one who thought he planned it. He did not admit it, and he did not deny it. Because there really isn't. I was just tired.
Last day for me to see the mansion. All my belongings were put away and Helga and Carter helped me unload my belongings. Papa said he had found a house we could move into for at least three months. I don't know if he bought that or just rented it. I'm sure that's smaller compared to this.
"Signorina, the car is ready. Signor is waiting for you at home." Helga said as I put all my belongings in the car.
"Just a minute," I replied.
They gave me what I wanted and they left the house first and just waited for me in the car.
I toured the whole house again. At every corner, everything here is full of memories. Happy, sad, and memories that can't be repeated. I never had a chance to feel my mother's love. I haven't seen her face in person since I grew up without her by my side. But my father never let me live alone. He was always there when I'm in need or not. And I never got mad at him before because he is my father.
This is the first time I got mad at him. And I always tear up whenever I think of what he has done to us.
"You are still here?" I heard Francis' voice behind me. I needed to confirm so I turned around. And I am not wrong because he's actually there, standing so mercilessly.
"Can't I have a final look at my house?" I said bravely while wiping my tears.
"Not your house anymore," he said. I know!
Does he really have no mercy? I knew he had become my friend and I felt that was true. But everything changed in an instant.
The person you thought you could be comfortable with can change with just a gust of wind.
"I just keep on wondering, of all the lies I've heard and witnessed. Is there still truth about you that I have known ever since I met you?" I asked. At least one, please tell me.
"My name," he simply said.
Okay. So his name is really Francis. That's all I need to know.
"Okay, have fun in the house." I said sarcastically.
"I surely will," he said. Expressionless.
I immediately turned away when my tears almost flowed. I immediately caught my fingers and wiped it. I walked away and never looked back until I got out of the house. I saw Ophelia waiting for me outside the car while crying.
I ran over to her and hugged her tightly. There I let out all my tears when I felt its hands wrap around my back as it caressed my hair.
"Hush now, my child. Enough crying." Said nanny as she stroked my long hair.
My hug with her only got tighter because of what she said. I could not stop crying because some nights I cried without sympathy. I didn't see her for a long time because Papa also forbade me to talk to her.
"Balia..." I cried even more. I called her my nanny one last time.
"Hush now," she hushed.
She presented me to her to wipe away my tears. Her eyes were sad too. She caressed my cheeks as she laid me down to her chest.
"All right. Join your Dad at home. Get some rest." She said.
"Come with me, Nanny." I begged.
"I can't leave. I'm not leaving the mansion. I'll stay here and wait for your return." She said.
I was even more saddened by the idea of Manang not coming with me. I have no ally at home and I will definitely feel only sadness and anxiety. I would lock myself in the room while waiting for the night to come and the new morning to come and do the same again.
"I promise. I'll be back." I said. I had a new reason to go back and get it all out of me.
"Be careful. Always take care of yourself." She put something in my hand and even though I want to look at it now I can't because Nanny's hand is covering it.
"Yes. I'll take care of myself. I'll be back." I promised.
I cried while in the car and made our way to our new home. I still have in my hands the pendant that Nanny Ophelia gave me. I opened it and saw two small photographs that fit inside this pendant. I brought it closer so I could see more.
Mama's image is on the left and Manang Ophelia's photo is on the right when she was a young woman. I was sure it was her because the first time I looked into her eyes I was already familiar with it. There is one characteristic that Mama and Manang have in common when I first saw the photos. I noticed the similarity in the shape of their eyes and mouth when Manang was young.
Wait. Is this right?
Is Manang Ophelia my grandmother?
I looked at the photo again and noticed the little note at the bottom of Mom's photo.
"Carissime Filiae," I recited.
These characters are familiar to me because I am familiar with other Latin words. The engraved letters under Mama's photo mean 'my dearest daughter'.
I think that's right! I can't be wrong because I know Mama even if I only saw it in the photo.
I confirmed it.
"Lei è mia nonna," I declared.
Manang Ophelia who raised and cared for me was my grandmother. And she is the mother of my late Mama.
I was still shocked when we got home. I ignored what the house looked like and went straight into it. It was Helga and Carter who put my things up in my bedroom. I can say that it is comfortable here but the people are reduced. And I can no longer do the things I used to do in the mansion.
"Monica," Papa called. He was sitting on the small sofa when I found him.
"Papa," I am still mad at you.
"Seat down here. I need to tell you something." He said.
I obeyed his wishes and had no desire to sit next to him. I changed into the new sofa I'm sitting on now. It was not as soft as our sofa in the mansion.
"What is it that you need to tell me?" I asked.
I heard him sighed. "I talked to your nonni paterni. You are leaving for Italy." He said straightforwardly.
"What?" Please Papa, no.
"You need to go to Tuscany," he said.
"I am not going back to Italy!" I hissed.
I get up and leave in front of him to go to my room. I caught up with Carter who was outside my door and Helga who was tidying up inside. I pinned the pillow to my head and shouted at it. Helga stopped what she was doing and Carter entered while holding his gun hidden in his pocket.
"Don't mind me," I said.
I am not going to Italy! I am not leaving!
I woke up early because I didn't sleep well. The place was new to me and I was not yet accustomed to my new surroundings. I went downstairs and caught up with Papa drinking coffee at the table. I joined him and also brewed my own coffee.
Our plan now is to go to Manila again to pick up the rest of Papa's belongings in his former office that will now belong to Francis. My blood really boils when I remember that man.
"You don't have to come with me this time," Papa said.
"I will," I insisted. I will come because I want to.
"Va bene," Papa said okay so that means I can come.
I cleaned my body and changed my clothes. I prepared myself because I was sure I would meet Francis again when we got there. I need him to see me well even if he has already knocked me down.
Pride strikes again.
Carrying the pendant that Manang Ophelia gave me, I shouldn't call her that anymore. She is my true family and she is no longer just a simple helper. I put it in my bag and looked in the mirror again. Wearing simple black pants and a white V-neck T-shirt, I styled it with an orange cardigan and white shoes.
"Signorina, Singnor is already waiting inside the car." Helga said behind my door.
"All right. I'm going down." I shout back.
I grabbed my bag and went down the stairs. Papa was already in the car so I got in and sat next to him. Carter was driving the car and Helga was in the shotgun seat.
"After this, I will book your ticket to Italy." Papa said.
"Please, Papa. I am not leaving." I don't want us to argue again.
We are already on our way to Manila and I can't help but look up at the trees with green leaves and lush branches. We will travel by land so it will take hours before we get to Manila. The last time we went there was on a plane, from La Union to Manila. And it just took almost forty five minutes to one hour.
Our body suddenly leaned forward when Carter stepped on the paddle. My neck cracked a little by a sudden impact and my father immediately asked Carter what happened. My body became heavy and my hips are aching from the grip of the seatbelt.
"What happened, Carter?" Papa asked.
Carter didn't answer but instead he roamed around the area as well as Helga.
"Duck!" Carter ordered.
We are surrounded by four black SUV's and the men in those cars came out with guns in their hands.
"Duck Signor and Monica!" Helga scolded.
They got out of the car and Dad immediately shook my head to make us both bow. I saw Carter and Helga across the door from us holding guns in both hands.
Helga? She have a gun?
"What is happening, Papa?" I asked my father who's occupied by now.
"Do not shoot!" I heard Carter say.
They are outnumbered! And all the guns are pointed in our directions. Are they really going to kill us?
"Who are they, Papa?" I stuttered for words because of fear.
"Let them out. We won't fire." Said a man from outside the car.
"Put down your weapons," Helga said.
"Massimo! Get out! I know your daughter is with you!" The man shouted.
Why does he know my Dad's name? Does Papa know him? What is really going on?
"I will get outside. Do not get out of the car until I say so." Papa said.
"Papa..." I held his hands.
He let go of my hands and stepped out the car door where Carter was. I looked at what was happening outside and there were so many armed men surrounding our car. Dad's hands were raised facing them and talking. Carter and Helga are alert and aware of what might happen during these times.
"Do not kill my daughter," I heard Papa pleading.
"We are sorry, Massimo. We are just taking orders from above." And they all laughed.
I should ask for help. That's all I can do right now. If something happens, I will be too late to call for help if I don't do it now.
But who am I going to call?
Francis came to mind. I have his number, and hopefully he hasn't changed yet.
"Please pick up," I desperately said.
Ducking my head while my hands and legs are all jittering. I can't think straight right now that Francis is not taking my call. I don't know who to call.
My phone beeped and the only way to reach him now is via voicemail.
"Please, Francis. Pick up your phone. I need help. We're in danger. I don't know what place we are now. There are numerous men outside our car aiming their guns at us. Papa is outside talking to them and I don't know what's going to happen next. Please we need help this instance." I yelled in shock when I heard a gunshot. My phone dropped on the floor and I can't reach for it anymore.
The car door opened and one of the armed men grabbed my hand to get me out of the car. He is aggressively gripping my hand until I stand beside my father. I saw the wounded Carter, lying on the road and shouting for pain.
"Please do not hurt my daughter. She has nothing to do with this." My father said.
"Papa..." I called. I am terribly shaking in fear right now.
"Kneel. Both of you." The man ordered.
Father easily obeyed the man's request while I slowly lowered my knees to the ground. Crying and silently praying for our rescue.
"Give us all you have!" The man pointed his gun on my temple that made me scream.
"Merda! Do not hurt her!" My father hissed.
"Then give us what we requested!" The man said.
"I don't have everything!" My father cried.
"Father is right! We don't have anything. We don't have the land, the business, we don't have everything! Please, leave us alone!" I shouted.
Then another man came and pointed his gun to my father's head, which made my trembling worsen. He is smiling ridiculously and is really enjoying the look of us right now.
"Little kid. We are not playing games here. If your father didn't give us what we wanted, I would blow his head with one bullet from my gun." He said.
"No. Please. We are telling the truth! Ask Carter and Helga! We are nothing now!" I cried.
"Okay. I am an easy man." The man said.
"Papa!" I called.
They took Papa away from me but still kneeling in front of me. One meter away and they are forcing him to kneel down. They even pointed the gun into his head that caused my Papa to close his eyes.
"Carter! Helga! Please! Save my Papa!" I desperately called them out.
We didn't expect this to happen. I didn't take it seriously back then because I didn't believe people would do it to us. I thought it wouldn't be true because they were just cowards because we outdid them. But now that I see and experience it now, I should have just followed everything my father wanted.
I regret that I became stubborn and did not keep his commandments. If I only knew that was for me, if I only knew Dad's whole reason, if I only knew I wouldn't have contradicted him.
"I will do everything to keep you safe, my daughter." My father said.
I could do nothing but cry. It was as if I was bound and unable to move because of the cold steel focused on my head. Afraid that maybe when I move it will explode.
"Papa..." I cried.
I forgive you, father.
"Ti amo, amore." My father's last words before I could hear the gunshots that stopped my world.
"A lot of drama. Can you just give us what we want so we can get out of here?"
I watched as my father's body stretched out on the grass. His head was covered in blood but his eyes remained awake and staring at me. He is no longer moving.
"Stay away from Monica!" I heard Carter shout.
Gunfire erupted and an exchange of bullets erupted as a man pushed me away from them. He put me next to my unconscious father while he was also exchanging bullets.
You have no mercy!
I looked at my father whose eyes were still on me. My hands were shaking but I couldn't touch him. My tears welled up as my vision dimmed. My lips wanted to say something but no voice came out.
I forgive you, father. Please don't die. Don't leave me.
"Papa..." I reached for his hand. It is still warm. But every time I am holding his hand, it glides freely on my hand.
"Papa, please." I pleaded.
Still no response.