Point of View: Emara Stone
I switch on the light then slowly open the bathroom door. I peek my head inside to look if there is Ryan or any hot ghost hiding in the corner, who is waiting to finger me. But the bathroom is empty, just like my wallet.
It was just a dream. Nothing happened.
I remind myself of yesterday's incident with Ryan, it is painful to accept that he is gay. I walk inside spin my head in all directions. I stand in front of the washbasin and look in the mirror, just like my dream. I wait for Ryan to appear and jump at me but nothing happens. I turn around to make sure I am alone in the bathroom.
I am alone. Just like every other night. All alone.
I feel a little disappointed as I wanted Ryan to touch me and kiss me just like he did in my dream. I still remember how his tongue rolled over my skin and how his eyes were virtually impregnating me.
Never in my life, I had one sexual dream but since I met Ryan I dream of kissing him, touching him inappropriately every night. And now these dreams are getting more intense night by night. And today it is even difficult to figure out if it was a dream or I was in an alternate universe.
It felt so real like he was really touching and biting me. I stretch my T-shirt to my shoulder to see if there were any bite marks, but there were none.
I wish I had his bite marks on my skin like Mark Tobey's artworks. I wish I was his canvas. I wish his lips were brush and his tongue would roll like paint on my skin.
I notice the pain in my lower abdomen. The pain is real and the wetness between my legs too. I immediately remove my shorts and see a small blood patch on my panty.
Oh, no!! Periods. Great! Now I can't even masturbate.
I hate it. I hate bleeding. I hate the smell of blood. I hate wearing pads, tampons. I hate changing them. I fucking hate periods.
Period after a sex dream. Fucking romantic.
After putting a sanitary napkin, I lay down on my bed. I keep rolling on the bed to get a position where my abdomen doesn't feel like it is lying on blades. The cramps don't let me sleep and I end up crying like I always do. I hate periods, it sounds so absurd to bleed monthly.
I didn't realize when the sun came up. I try to stand up from bed but my legs shiver weakly, my thighs are paining so much that I end up falling on my bed. I can't work today, the pain is too much. I call Rita as I only have her number and tell her I couldn't come today.
"Ethan, what happened? Do you want me to pick you up? I really don't mind." I hear the worry in her voice for me. She is not that bad, I wonder if she knew I am a girl, would she still be this nice to me?
"I slipped from the stairs and bled a little. I am fine though I won't be able to come to work." I mentally thank as today is Friday, which means I'll see Ryan directly on Monday. I hope by then he would forget yesterday's awkward incident.
"Oh! Please take medication. Though you are supposed to inform the HR department for leave, I'll inform them. Don't worry, Ethan. You take care." I am starting to like her as a person though she gives me hoe vibes. I thank her then search for my stomach painkillers. I want to feel numb right now.
. . .
I can't stop complaining about how fast this weekend passed. They say it true, good times pass quickly. And here I am back to my small cabin assessing papers for the next meeting. I take a deep breath and walk inside my boss's cabin.
Please god, I hope hotty forgot about the porn incident, I hope he had hit his head and lost his memories.
As I enter his office, I feel something has changed. The color of the furniture is different, before it was oak brown but now it is dark chocolate colored. Last time the table's desk had glass on it but today the table is of thick timber wood. He changed his furniture.
I look at him and see he is already staring at me, his eyes have a different look that I can't figure it out. "What happened to you?" Here comes his voice that I was desperately waiting to hear. Oh god, his voice. Yum.
I want to tell him I am really hurt knowing that he is into flat chest guys but then again he is way out of my league so it doesn't matter now. "Ethan?" I think he is asking about Friday's leave.
"Sir, I slipped from the stairs so I couldn't come on Friday. I will do all the pending work today. Here is the hard copy of Shia Sun's summit." I hand him a bunch of papers but he is still looking at me as if I am trying to describe what kind of pokémon I am.
I politely smile before leaving his office. I wonder if it was concern in his eyes for me or his favorite character died in GOT.