Thinking about what I have done, sometimes I am proud.
Thinking about how many people the guys killed because of me, I am not really sorry since it was killing the most of them or kill them all, but I am not proud of it.
I am still waiting for October and do not know what is gonna happen. Dreams about a lot of death just mean problems, but that could also mean not only for me, sometimes I try to figure out what does that means. Death is not only for problems but also it can mean a change, I hate when they are not specific about the things they say and just leave me with a confused mind, the only thing I know is at the end of any of these years something is gonna change for everyone and a new beginning is getting closer, something is gonna die just to rebirth again, just like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly.
I started to be really calm over everything and I just decided not to worry about time, so I started living more about what I was doing before the time arrives by itself. Micheal was a really good friend, Chavi was doing better and Remy was like always. When I started to get bored I get over the sky and see if there were still some lucky people alive, and I was right there were some of the high classes people alive, there was a city called "The Gold City" hidden really into a mountain and they were people who were warned by other before the demons got in their place, so I decided not to kill them and just had some fun with them.
Could you imagine a big mountain with a big secret by its inside, only the richest people with different ladies, drinking, playing and fucking?
Well, I was just like a kid with a table good served. I tried to get inside, but the guard stopped me "You can not trespass, poor people are not allowed in here" it got me mad.
"I am not poor, I am faking being poor" so I use my magic to steal someone's money and showed it to the guard.
He just looked at me and said, "Yeah, it must be fake. Getaway!"
I was about to kill him when someone stops him "Let her get inside" it was a tall girl, slanted and pretty dark eyes, her hair was black, skinny with short hair.
"Mr. Estella I can not allow her to get inside it is a rule" the guard responded.
"Remember who created this place and who's money was used" so she grabbed my hand and pulled me over "I will give you something proper since you got money."
I just let her pulled me over the place until we got in a room "This is one of the empty rooms, you can use it for now and if you need something there are a lot of servants. By the way, I know it was almost the end of the world, but could you please get a shower and dress properly? This is a really high-class place, I am a princess from Blank kingdom."
It really impressed me, I just remembered Blake exist once in this world "I am sorry, I will change immediately" I smiled.
She walked away and so I just enter the restroom, everything was prepared and ready, I just heard someone coming inside my room "Hi, I am the servant of the rooms I just came to leave a dress for you, Mr. Estella sent me to do it."
"Thank you! you can leave it somewhere." so she walked away.
When I came out I saw a pretty red dress, but it was not an old fashion and it looked kind of different than any dress I ever had. When I tried the dress, it was all stick on my body and pretty tight "I guess, it is supposed to be like this" so I just put some makeup and come out of the room, while walking everyone was watching me.
I did not have any idea of why they were watching me until one of them asked "Are you new? You are pretty beautiful and that dress fits you pretty well."
"Thank you, Mr. Estella lend it to me" I just explained.
Estella just walked to us and said, "When I saw your white hair and pretty face, I knew a tight and red dress would be perfect on you" she touched my hair "It is like blood dropped in the snow."
"Thank you, by the way. I would want to show my gratitude" I smiled.
Estella took my hand and said, "So, that means you can be my accompanist for tonight."
I just smiled and nodded, but I thought "This girl knows how to take advantage. I am not impressed since Blake was part of her family."
I stand by her side and watched her play, every time she won just said "You are a really lucky charm."
I watched everyone played until I memorized every step. The next day, I was ready to play but Estella insisted to be her accompanist again "Please if you stay with me today then I will not charge you anything in this place. You make me won so much, just to be able to cover everything."
I accepted but after a couple of games, she started losing. She grabbed my hand and stepped aside "I think something is wrong. Are you feeling well?"
"Yes, I am good. I do not know why are you losing, by the way." I was just being clear.
She just smiled "Maybe we need some luck sent by the gods" I did not understand until she grabbed me and kissed me in front of everyone "That would be enough."
She smiled and pulled me back to the game table. After losing two games she started winning again, I was so ashamed about the kiss that I even did not pay attention to anything more. When the last game just ended I decided to come back to my room, but she just did not let me "They changed your room"
"Where?" I asked.
"It is by the side of mine, so I can be lucky since the morning." She smiled at me.
I just walked to my room and slept like if I was dead. The next day I got a bath, just put something on and came down to eat, she was already up and said: "I am glad you choose those clothes, I was waiting to see you with them."
"Thank you, I really like them" so I took my seat.
We were the only people who woke up so early "Why is everyone asleep? is already late."
"Is because they want to save their energy for tonight" She smiled.
"So, why are you up?" I asked.
"Simply because I had the feeling that you would wake up at this time" she drank her coffee.
I started eating, "I appreciated it."
When we finish she just looked at me and said "You are not feeling tired?"
I was certainly tired after eating, I was sleepy "I am just a bit sleepy" I smiled.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me to her room "Let's sleep a bit"
I was really ashamed "Nope, How could we..."
"We are just gonna sleep" She took off her shirt "just a bit" she smiled.
I just lied down in bed and sleep right after. When I woke up she was hugging me "Ah... What are you doing?" I asked.
"mmh? sleeping comfy and you?" she asked.
I got annoyed and just stand up "Tonight I will play my own games" I exclaimed.
"Fine, I will see you around" She smiled and stayed at the bed.
I got my own chips and started to gamble. I started my games to started losing and then ended up winning all. Estella started watching me until she started playing around, I could feel her intentions to gamble with me at a certain point. In my last game, she took a seat and smiled. I thought it was annoying, so I started with a win and lose my second game just until the last game come and won it. It did not stop her to said "Let's bet all you got, I will put the same amount of money."
I knew something was wrong, but I wanted to know "Ok, that sounds like more fun" so I smiled.
She added, "But if you lose then you will be mine until I decide when not to."
"Then, I have to accept" I just did handshake.
We started and I realized my game was kind of trashy, but I would not want to lose. Her face was so neutral, and I knew she was about to win, I just left everything go. The game stopped in a match, she was really impressed "I can not believe it!" started laughing "Let's just play again just until any of us win."
I really like it, but the worse of all I was really comfortable with her, she is a certain way that made me feel real trusty with everything around, she took the chips from the table and gave me back my chips "I do not want your money, let say I only need to bet your person. If I lose, then I will serve you and vice versa."
I nodded but after three more games, I lost.
"Tomorrow we will start" She smiled at me and added, "I will treat you well."
The next day when I woke up a servant gave me a new pair of clothes, it looked like maid clothes but differently from every maid inside the place. I just wear them and stepped out of the room, once I stepped back everyone started calling me, but I ignored them until I found Estella to receive specific rules. When I was getting close to her someone grabbed me by the arm and said "Hey! You are not listening? I am calling you since you are a maid your only job is to serve every man in this place, do it correctly or I will not only fuck your ass but also your face!"
I got mad, pulled my arm back and said, "I am not here to serve anyone but Estella, only if she asks me to serve you then I will do it" I pushed him "If you or anyone ever grabbed me again like that and talk to me in a similar way I will cut the hell of their head, no matter what. If anyone tries to stop me, then I will kill it."
Estella just looked at me and laughed "I am sorry, guys. This maid is only for my services" she smiled and whispered in my ear "I am sorry, these people do not know how to respect."
I was impressed with her kindness.
"Ok, listen to me. If you ever watch a new maid you should not order her before I do it!! If the maid does not listen to you or ignore you, then call another maid, but if you ever treat one of my maid like shit, then I will order to kick your ass out of this place" she took my hand and smiled.
She just explained to me that I only have to serve her, but if I want to serve someone else just a bit while she does not need anything, then there would not be any problem. She also explained that I am not allowed to flirt with anyone else, but her, and of course she added that while my services I need to act like her total partner.
When everything finished, I decided to sleep with her and be honest "I feel really comfortable with you since your kindness and really good heart, I can really feel how pure you are. Why are you hiding if you are a pure heart?"
"I just like to have my own control and feel really free" she smiled "What are you doing in my room?"
"I just want to sleep with you" I smiled.
She kissed me "I like you, you are so sweet but rude at the same time. You are intimidating and independent. You are also a lucky charm and really pretty to me."
"I am usually with guys, not with girls, but I feel so comfortable with you. You make me feel good in a certain and different way" I could not explain.
With Estella, I differed a difference when you make love, and when you only have sex. Estella was so warm, nice and sweet, she completely understood everything in my body, how to touch it, how to kiss it, how delicate to be, where to touch, she was not rough and even if she was going slow everything was amazing, I wondered if it was because she was a girl too. I remembered how afraid I was after what happened before, being used, and being scared of everyone, but with her was different, she made all my fears go away.
It was different since she does not has a masculine sexual organ, but we did not need it and she taught me how to use my fingers and how to kiss her instead, she was whispering to me and explained to me how to do everything.
She made me think about anything but "How long is this good feeling gotta last? I do not want it to finish." She made me have only one fear, but even I knew that someday I had to walk out of that place before anyone realized and try to do something against her.
Our story lasted for three months, just because I decided to come back to Gaavá, so I wrote a letter to her while she was asleep and just walked away like when I arrived adding at the end of my letter "I love you, I will come back," even if I was not sure about it.
I walked away and even if the time with her was short, my love was bigger but I thought about finishing everything before to be with her, so I could be able to give her the freedom she wanted. She taught me a new lesson and that was how to get control over everything and you can even be nice at the same time, I learned too much about her, so I decided to finish everything and come back for her. I just was not able how a totally different person made me feel, and in the end, everything made total sense.