There will come a time when a person has to make a choice. It doesn't have to be a choice between the bad and the good. Sometimes, you are presented with two good options. And one certain day, I had to make that decision. My discernment in that specific moment officially named me a "hero".
Everything was normal. It had already been three months since I have started attending the Metropolitan University, the top university of the country and also probably the most controversial one. I gained new friends and I finally didn't get lost around the huge campus. Jesta and I grew closer, but I never did get to ask about her connection with Zero. Perhaps it never came up during our conversations. Most likely though, I was just scared to know if they were more than just mere acquaintances.
I was standing by the road, just across the university gate. I stared at the stoplight, counting down the time until the pedestrians could finally walk across. I knew I was already late to class (as I always was), so I didn't really fret too much despite the long wait. What really irked me was the consistent headache I've been feeling, probably because I wasn't sleeping properly for the past few weeks. It was nice that I didn't have to pay any tuition and even got a monthly allowance, but the MU seriously gave too much homework to its students. Lost in thought, I almost didn't hear it.
"Yassi Anne!" someone called from across the road.
I looked down from the steady decreasing numbers on the traffic signal and found my first friend just a few meters away from me. I unconsciously smiled back. Jesta and I were steadily becoming more known as the Freshmen Duo: seemingly inseparable, rarely apart. That isn't to say that Jesta wasn't popular on her own, although both of us did get our college debut together during the welcoming party by the Alpha Club. It's just that Jesta easily knew more people than I did. The image of her being "the university insider" only continued to grow stronger in my mind.
Anyway, I noticed something else that made me fonder of my blond-haired companion. I realized that she was quieter when she was with me, and might I say, more real? She always looked like she was trying too hard to look strong when she was with others, and whenever I found her like that, I would constantly find myself being amused.
Needless to say, I liked being friends with her. That may have been why the pain felt stronger when I saw her standing next to Zero.
Zero always seemed to stand out wherever he was. Even when he only wore simple black jeans and a dark jacket over a plain white shirt, he managed to invite the stares of everyone around him. We haven't even talked since the party, and I knew Jesta and him were friends, but I still found the scene of them standing next to each other oddly disconcerting.
'They look good together,' I realized.
Now this is the part when I had to make a choice. And here, you will see how past events have greatly affected my making the decision. You see, there was a man beside me. Immediately, even before you could clearly see him, you would already know the kind of person he was. "The trash of society", others would call him. A "beggar", the kinder ones would say. He only looked like an unlucky soul to me.
Now, if I hadn't known Jesta, she would never have called out to me, and I would have just continued to stare at the traffic signs. If I didn't become so enamored with the mysterious and dashing boy named Zero, I would never have felt the pang of unjustified jealousy when I saw him standing with my best friend.
And if I hadn't experienced that sudden betrayal, I would have never glanced away. In turn, I would have never noticed the utter lack of hope on the beggar's face, and the quiet resignation as he followed a speeding truck with his sunken eyes.
When he had just planted a dirt-stained foot on the road in front of him, I had already grabbed unto his baggy, torn-up shirt, pulled him out of the way, and in the process, lost my balance and found myself facing the truck head on.
All that in a single, heart-wrenching second.
In retrospect, I probably wouldn't have saved the old man on any normal day. I valued my life, and I simply didn't dream about becoming some hero. But on that peculiar moment, I had quite a depressing mood. You see, my best friend seemed to have more chances of getting the guy I liked. I had no doubt I would have moved on from that short depression if I was given the chance. In fact, if it was any normal day, I would have crossed the street with a heavy heart and reached the other side with all sad thoughts forgotten. But, the human mind works in mysterious ways.
In that fraction of a second, my subconscious thought was that "I would be better off dead after saving a man's life than live to see the two persons I most dread to be together."
And that was that.
The news headlines would have featured a "college student dies saving beggar" on its front page if I had saved him.
Likewise, no person would have pointed at me and called me an evil person if I had chosen not to do so.
Yet, I did save him. But none of those happened.
I should have been crushed dead. Instead, I saw green. Steady arms had scooped up my falling body, just as I was about to crash against the ground. My head wasn't aching anymore. It felt much worse than that. It was like an actual truck had rammed into my brain, but over and over again. I felt my body curling up in intense pain. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. Everything felt wrong. The world was rotating and rotating and rotating. I wasn't breathing. And then, it stopped.
Just for the tiniest of moments, the world was in its place. I saw someone leaning over me.
And then everything turned black.