The feeling inside of me pains me, it hunts me in my sleep at night. I can't even think straight, but I feel so sad and heavy. I feel like I am drown in a deep sea. I can't think straight, I want to do something that could calm me down. There's a lot of voices in my head saying I am not good enough. I stood up and go to the desk and got a pen. I started to drew a butterfly in my wrist and and started to calm down. I got out of bed feeling light and gone downstairs.
"Good morning shobe." Ahya Symon happily greeted me
"Good morning ahya." I told him with a cheerful voice
"Let's go grab our breakfast." He pulled me and walked inside the dinning table, it was so quite as if every thing is at peace. All I can feel is that I feel so calm and light. It's as if everything's fine. I want to feel this every single day. And so we started to eat and then suddenly
"What's that in your wrist?" Ahya Syd suddenly came out of nowhere, I only stared at him and look down, I was starting to tremble and the voices in my head started again. I can't properly breath and feel anything at all. I am about to leave the dinning table when someone stopped me.
"Sit down shobe." Ahya Symon said while looking at Ahya Syd. I hope they wouldn't fight because of me. I don't want to see them fighting because of me. All I want is for them to be happiness and luck in life. I may not be a perfect sister but I support them and love them from a far. It's just that the beliefs made us drift away from each other.
"Go ahead Skylar." Ahya Syd said while looking at me, I silently nodded and went back to my place, but he suddenly pulled my wrist near him to have a closer look in it. He just stared at it for a long time, then suddenly he stood up with an unpainted facial expression I haven't seen before.
"Don't mind him shobe, maybe he's having his period that's why he's a big moody, let him be." Ahya Symon said while laughing, I just painted a small smile in my face and continued eating. *ting* I checked my phone since I have a new message. Maybe it's from Rosalete, she's my bestfriend and she keeps on checking up on me from time to time maybe because she knows everything about me.
"Hello?" I answered my phone, patiently waiting for Rose to answer, I call her Rose because it's a shortcut for Rosalete.
"Hey, what are you up to? Are you free? Let's watch the new movie in the cinemas!!!" She told me happily and excitedly, I laughed at her response and ate my lunch faster in order to change up.
"Who's that?" Ahya Symon asked looking confused
"It's Rose ahya." I told him without looking at him, I need to got out and unwind for awhile.
"Why is he asking anyway tsss." Eventhough we're talking in the phone I feel like I can see her eyes roll hahahaha because of annoyance.
"I will just change my clothes Rose, I'll call you back when I am done. Pick me up okay?" Without waiting for a reply, I ended the call quickly and hot out of my seat, I kissed ahya symon in the cheeks but I noticed something in him when Rose started to call hmm, is there something going on with Ahya Symon and Rose? Did they fought or what? Hmmm it's weird, and after kissing him I walked away the dinning table and walking up to my room when I accidentally slipped in the stairs———What? I though I would fall but why does it seem like I am flying? Wait what is this hard thing that I am touching?
"Uh——uhm" I heard a cough above my head, and I quickly opened my eyes and stood up quickly, I feel my cheeks heated because I am so embarrassed.
"I am very sorry, it was just an accident I slipped as I was walking up the stairs. Are you okay?" I told him without looking at him, because I know to myself that I can't even look at his eyes becaus I am afraid that I might drowned in those deep brown eyes of his.
"Tss, don't ask me if I'm okay as if I was the one who was supposed to fall out of the stairs. Don't be so clumsy, what if there's no one here to actually see you? You'd probably be dead right now." He told me, and walked passed me——He is my brother's bestfriend. We are not close and we don't even talk to each other. It's kinda weird to be close to him.
"I am sorry.." I told him as if he would still hear me say that, I rushed through my room and changed my clothes. I texted Rose that I miss the vibe in the club, so we should definitely go there. Mama and Papa know that if I weren't going to sleep at home, I would be at Rose's house sleeping. But still I texted Papa to inform him about my sleepover at Rose's. I packed my things and called Rose to pick me up since I am already done. I was about to check on myself when I heard a knock on my door.
"It's open." I shouted at the person outside my bedroom door. Then after a few seconds, I heard the door opened.
"Hey where are you going shobe?" Ahya Symon asked me, I looked at him smiling and told him that we would go to the cinemas and have fun at night. He looked displeased but didn't say anything, he just looked at his phone and to me. He shuffled my hair and kiss me in the forehead, and told me "Just be safe okay? Take care of yourself and call me if something happens okay? Don't get too drunk later, stay close to Rose okay? Update me, i love you. Have fun." He smiled at me and left the room, I felt the cold again and looked at my wrist, I suddenly remembered that I drawn a butterfly in my wrist, I should definitely removed this before I forget. And after thirty minutes Rose arrived and picked me up, she hugged me and said, "I know you're not okay, so I won't ask anything, I will wait for you to open things up, but always remember that I am always here for you no matter what. All I can say is that you should forget those problems you have and spend the time with me and have fun." She then hold my hand and smiled at me warmly..
The smile that is warm, The hug that is tight, Time is ticking but that doesn't mean this is it. There are still a few who wishes for my happiness and that is enough for me.