Did I enjoy it? Of course not. When I was with women I liked to touch them, to caress their pearly soft skin. I had one girlfriend, Sara, who actually took daily baths where she would soak in a mixture of honey and milk. She had skin which was so smooth and soft that I could spend hours caressing her, knowing that it would make the coupling even more explosive.
And yet here I was frustrated that I was completely passive. I felt the woman's inner muscles clench me tight. It was so wet and steamy inside and the friction was building up the pressure. The moans grew louder and louder and I could feel that she was nearing her orgasm.
I knew the exact moment her pleasure peaked as I felt her shiver around me. She pulled me out and immediately wiped me clean. I wanted a shower. After great coitus, I liked taking long showers where I would let the water sluice all over me. My nerve endings would still be sensitive from the lovemaking, so the warm drops actually prolonged the pleasure. Sometimes I would be joined in the shower and while, indeed, water reduced the natural lubrication, it compensated by heightening the nerve reactions.
Next to me, I saw a big bottle of lube. Ah, that's why she had been so wet. I had never seen any lube in all of my encounters, I prided myself. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror by the dying candle, I tried to rationalize what was happening to me. Just a few hours earlier, I was a warm-blooded man looking forward to copulate and now I was a mere stick, I thought with disgust. Yes, the copulation was here, but where were the feelings?
At that moment, a voice beside me scoffed,
'You are talking about feelings? The one who broke up because you were getting too attached?'
'Who's it? I asked frantically trying to shift my weight around so that I could see what was happening at my back. I heard the woman turn around and fall asleep, I listened to her snore. She would surely be out of it for a couple of hours, sated as she was.
'Pal, you don't have eyes, so you can look in any direction. Just let go and imagine yourself as floating in the middle of the ocean. Relax,' the voice continued.
How could I relax? I tried to muster all my strength and see if I could move, but to no avail.
'Relax.'
Easier said than done. How does an object relax?
'Stop trying to force things. Calm down and imagine yourself floating. Visualize the turquoise colour. Feel the lightness of your body.'
I focused on the voice which was oddly soothing and did what I was told. It was hard at the beginning, but I guess that was the job of a dildo, right, to be hard, I thought with amusement.
After a few minutes, I felt as calm as I could be given the circumstances.
'Now what?'
'Imagine yourself turning around in that water, going in any direction you wish.'
Once again, I followed the instructions and I didn't need to ask further questions as I saw myself facing the other side of the vanity table where I was placed. Did that mean that I had succeeded? I tried the same visualization technique a second time and lo, I could see the woman again. In this lying position, her waist seemed even smaller than before. Why did a beauty like her need a dildo? She must be having many admirers. I hadn't seen her face but it must be as alluring as the rest of the body.
I turned one more time, and this time, I tried to look for the one who had been talking to me.
'Hello?'
'Is it me you're looking for?' came back the reply. Witty of him, I thought as he took up Lionel Ritchie's song. In front of me, or what used to be the back of me, there was the mobile phone, lying down with its screen lit up.
'Are you the one that helped me?'
In reply, the phone vibrated two times. Maybe it would have the answers I was craving.
'Do you know what happened to me?' I asked.
'Do you think I have all the knowledge of the world?' the phone asked, then it laughed, 'Ah, yes I do. Ask Google.'
The phone then opened a search page and asked,
'Hey Google, why did Dick become a dick?' it asked before laughing at its own joke.
Ha, ha, a mobile phone with a sense of humor.
Then, becoming serious, the voice sobered up and said, 'Hi, I'm Noki Ah.'
Hi, I'm Dick, but you seem to already know that. Can you tell me why I'm here?'
Noki sighed, 'Do you remember Esmie?'
'Of course I do, we were breaking up and then I woke up like this.'
'Well, she's a witch.'
'Why are you calling her names?' I asked, though I didn't know why I was angered.
'I'm not calling her names. She is really a witch. You know, the ones with powers.'
I felt like laughing at the absurdity of it, sweet Esmie as a witch. Then I looked at myself and realized that it must be true.
'She's a witch?' I asked, incredulously.
'And it's a bad idea to play with the emotions of a witch,' he said with the air of someone who has a lot of experience.
'So you mean she's the one who...?' I couldn't even complete my thoughts.
'Yup, she cursed you.' Noki seemed to be half-amused and half-sympathetic in his tone, while I was feeling troubled. Did things like that really happen? Were witches for real?
I then saw the scene as if it had just happened. The anger in Esmie's eyes as she pointed her finger towards me, the sparks, the bright light...
I was cursed by my ex-girlfriend and I turned into a dildo.