Our last day in LA was awkward to say the least, especially after last night. Last night turned into exactly what the night before had been, and we were close, and slow and careful, and completely wrapped up in each other. It was scary how good and comforting it suddenly felt, how it suddenly felt like it really needed it.
When I woke up I didn't know what to do or what to say. So I rushed myself into the shower, and then Clarke showed up and wanted to join and I pretended to be done and left to pack. By the time he was out I was eating breakfast and Alicia was there, so I could easily now avoid any weird conversations. Thankfully we didn't hang around long after as we had some sightseeing to do before we left LA.
I let myself get emerged in the sights of LA, like the Hollywood sign, the Hollywood Bowl, Hollywood walk of fame and the Chinese theatre. The best part was Alicia was also very emerged in the experience too, wanting to take photos everywhere, and once we got into the car, Clarke was glued to his phone. So the whole time it was just me and Alicia really enjoying our time. I hoped after Clarke fake broke up with her she would still be his friend, I liked having her around.
We didn't have long after our day out, we had to get our flight back and I was glad first class seats were completely separated, so I was able to curl up in my seat and watch a movie and not talk to Clarke. I needed my time away from him. It was clear I couldn't work anything out when he was near me, because just looking at him I got hypnotised by him. I couldn't control myself around him.
Once we landed, Alicia got a separate car back as she had to immediately go to meeting for work. Guess the modelling life didn't rest either. So I was stuck in a car with Clarke, but luckily Trevor was our driver today so I knew Clarke wouldn't bring anything personal up. I thought I had escaped him and any conversation, like I had done with Paris, but when we got to my apartment Clarke got out of the car with him.
"Is everything okay?" I asked, opening the trunk to get my suitcase for me.
"Its fine," I lied. "Why do you ask?"
Clarke shrugged, putting my suitcase in front of me. "You've just been acting a bit weird today."
"I'm just tired," I played it off. "I just need to rest."
"Okay," Clarke said a little blankly. "Well, you have Monday off, so that should help."
I nodded in agreement and I realised it was awkward. I had made it awkward.
"It's probably going to be crazy Monday anyway," Clarke continued. "I'm going to make time with the PR to end this thing with Alicia and God knows there'll be damage control."
"You're really doing this then?" I asked. I realised there was a little hope in my voice. I knew their relationship was fake, but he could never be with me when she was in the picture. I needed to cut that thought out.
"Yeah," Clarke breathed out. "It's not...me. I need to completely be me if I want to run this company properly. These business guys don't care who I'm dating, that's the public, but they're not the ones I'm trying to sign contracts with."
"I'm...proud of you," I admitted.
Clarke smiled slightly. "Well, I better let you go. I'm sure you've got stuff to catch up on, and I'll see you Wednesday."
"Yes, see you then."
We both stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do. Eventually we both just smiled and Clarke got back into the car.
I walked myself back into my apartment and to no surprise, I saw Ava waiting for me in the lounge room. I put my suitcase next to the couch and flopped down next to you.
"You always seem defeated when you get back from holiday with Clarke," Ava obsessed.
I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't a holiday. We did work. Expect today. We were sightseeing all day. I have so many photos...no actually they're selfies, with Alicia. I have selfies with a super model on my phone. What life am I living?"
Ava laughed slightly. "Yeah not everyone can say that. Wasn't like Paris then?"
I looked at her in the corner of my eye, knowing she was trying to get something out of me, but I wasn't going to talk to her about it, not yet anyway.
"Ha, ha, you're funny," I said sarcastically, standing up. "I'm going to take a nap."
I didn't know what to do. Maybe I really did just need time away from Clarke. Maybe I was just becoming too reliant on Clarke and that's where my head as going. Or maybe I was finally over Isaac and I was ready to move on. Oh God, that felt right.
That was what had changed, my ex-boyfriend. The whole reason I felt comfortable starting this whole thing was because I had been a ridiculous wreck for so long that having something casual made way too much sense. It was months ago now, and not to mention that since then I had actually spoken to Isaac and he had apologised. I still hated the apology, I still hated him showing up, and I really never wanted to see him again but maybe it really did help me. I was finally over what happened and it meant I could move on with my life. Is that why I suddenly realised I did have feelings for Clarke, because I was physically capable of not being an emotion wreck for the first time in a while?
I hid behind the sex, and didn't let anything else come through. I didn't let what I was feeling come through because I didn't want to. I wanted to know now though. I wanted to feel everything and not be afraid anymore.
I had been getting close to Clarke since... since well the day we had made the deal. Even then I just thought it was sex, but since that we day we talked more, spent more time together. I had learnt more about him than I ever thought I could, and he told me things, things he definitely didn't tell anyone else, even Alicia. I did the same, because I felt safe and comfortable around him. I wasn't sure he felt the same though, and that's where my doubts crept in.
I wasn't sure Clarke felt anything. I mean, it was me. I was his assistant. Some poor girl who spent most of her life studying, how boring is that? I wasn't Clarke's normal type at all, I just happened to be there really. He was breaking up with Alicia though, and I knew the whole relationship had been fake, but maybe it really did mean something.
By the time Monday came around I was glad I didn't have to go work because I wasn't so sure I could face Clarke yet, even if I had decided what I was feeling was real. I needed to gag how he felt, maybe get an idea of how he felt. So Tuesday I started to try and figure it out, figure out what I could ask but it was hard think what would work? Maybe I could talk about me leaving? Law school was soon and if everything worked out the way it was supposed to I would go to Yale, and Yale was nowhere near here. I could see how he felt about that.
"Hey, you're just in time for the six o'clock news," Ava said as I walked through door after finishing classes for the day.
I rolled my eyes. "Why do I care what's on the news?"
"Because it's a double feature of Clarke tonight. I thought you knew? Ava frowned slightly. "It's been all day."
"I don't check TMZ everyday like you," I reminded her.
"Well, you should because...oh see, here it is?"
Ava pointed to the TV and turned up the volume as the news broadcast started. I moved to stand behind the couch and get a clear view.
"In other news tonight, Clarke Watson, current CEO of Watson International has ended things with model, Alicia Moore. It comes as quite a shock to fans who were treated to photos of the happy couple in LA only a few days ago. A spokesperson from both sides has stated the break-up was mutual and ended on good terms, and the two plan to stay friends, however there is speculation that their relationship may not have been as loving as it seemed.
The news comes at the same time Watson has made a landmark deal with Gunn Industries. Allowing Watson International to operate in LA. A deal Henry Watson was never able to make whilst he ran the company. This landmark deal for the company proves that Clarke Watson isn't that same boy we once knew. In other news..."
"What, wait?" I asked surprised. "That's not possible."
"What, the break-up?" Ava said, turning to look at me.
"No, I knew about the break up, Clarke wanted it. I meant about Gunn Industries," I said to Ava. "Clarke told me the two were competitors, it makes no sense for them to make a deal."
"Well, I presume it works both ways," Ava shrugged. "If Clarke can work there, they can work here."
"Exactly. It's why Henry never made a deal, not because he couldn't, but because it opened New York up to them," I explained to Ava.
"Okay, then I'm not sure it does make sense then," Ava agreed slowly. "The news seemed to like it though. They all seem to like him now at least."
They did. Was that why Clarke did it? He was so desperate to be liked and keep his job, did he do something risky to get what he wanted? Would Clarke do something shady to solve his problems? It was the only way that deal would've happened in my head, he did something shady.
I was so anxious to get to work on Wednesday and hated I had to spend half the day at college, because I could barely focus. When it finally came time to go to work, I was nervous. There had been so much going on I didn't know how I was going to handle it, and when I walked into the office this place looked exactly like I felt...chaos.
Everyone was running around, and the phones were ringing a lot, and everyone seemed busy, it was weird. I made my way to Clarke's office and first saw Karen sitting at our desk, looking focused.
"Oh, thank God you're here, Rory," Karen said, when she saw me. "This place is crazy today."
"I can tell," I said, looking around. "Is it to do with the Gunn thing?"
"Yes," Karen nodded. "There is so much to do to make this thing happen. I mean, when I knew Clarke was going to LA to make a deal, I didn't think he come back with the ultimate deal."
"That makes two of us," I muttered with a sigh. "You can go home, Karen. I've got it from here, promise."
I didn't waste a second after Karen at left to march myself into Clarke's office. Clarke was literally buried in paper work. His desk was a mess, and he looked tired himself. I felt my heart strain for a second as I saw him. He had no idea what I had been going through the last couple of days, about my feelings. He didn't know how much my opinion had changed on him since the day we first met. I believed he had become a better man, an honest one. If I was right about how this deal had happened, it would hurt.
"Oh, Rory, good, there's a lot to do today-," Clarke started to say.
"No, we need talk first," I said before Clarke could give me some order.
"Whatever it is, Rory, it'll have to wait," Clarke sighed. "I'm honestly so busy-."
"No, you're not hearing me," I exaggerated, walking up to his desk. "We have to talk, before I do any work for you."
Clarke paused then, looking up from what he had been doing. He could see the expression on my face now, he knew it was serious.
"Okay, I can spare five minutes," Clarke said slowly.
"How did this deal happen?" I asked him straight out. "Last thing I know, no one was going to make a deal, and Gunn was your competitor stopping you from working in LA."
"Well, I was wrong," Clarke shrugged.
I knew it was a lie. I knew what he looked like when he lied. "Don't lie to me, Clarke."
"Honestly, Rory," Clarke said, suddenly snapping a little to look at me directly. "You can thank yourself for all this."
I was a bit taken back and frowned. "What the hell are you on about?"
"You're little lunch with Heath put me in his position," Clarke answered me, leaning back on his chair. "What part of you thought it would be a good idea to go talk to him about us?"
I paused as I went to speak. I didn't understand what was happening. I hadn't told Heath anything, well anything that indicated it was Clarke, not even slightly.
"I never talked to him about us," I said softly.
"You didn't have to mention me by name, Rory. He figured it out and then came to me," Clarke told me annoyed. "He wouldn't tell me exactly what you talked about, just that he knew we were sleeping together, and he'd be happy to tell."
I felt anger boil in me as well as confusion. Heath had figured it out. I couldn't believe it. Our conversation had been more than that though, but Heath didn't tell him the rest. I didn't understand why.
"So, what? You were blackmailed into this?" I asked him.
"No...not exactly," Clarke admitted. "When...he came to me, the idea came to me. I knew Heath was desperate to prove himself to his father so I wanted to use it. I figured if we could join, it would help me. Especially after Heath told me, if we merged it would save my company, as our stocks were about to fall. It's worked too. The board likes me now, my job is finally secure and this company is here to stay."
"Wait..." I said, taking in what he had said. "How did Heath know your stocks were about to fall?"
"He...knows stuff, I guess," Clarke brushed it off.
"No...to know that would basically be illegal," I pointed out. "He bought you cheap, didn't he? Spend less now, you both make more later? Clarke, that's illegal. It's basically insider trading."
"It's not," Clarke insisted.
"It is," I argued back. "Either way, it's not how Henry would run this company. Anything shady, he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't put it at risk."
"What else was I supposed to do, Rory?" Clarke asked, suddenly standing up. "I don't, I lose the company. It would all be gone anyway."
"That's not true," I shook my head. "There would've been another way. Maybe it meant giving up your position, but at least it would be honest, Clarke. Don't you get it?"
"No, Rory, I don't," Clarke admitted angrily. "I did what I had to do. Your slip up started this. Why did you even meet with him? Did you just want to add another rich boy to your list?"
"How dare you say that to me. How dare you even blame this on me," I said quickly, pointing at him. "You could've let him tell. Who says the press wold believe him? You don't know what could've happened. You panicked and made the wrong choice, Clarke. There's still time to fix this though."
Clarke turned his face from me, and then walked out from behind his desk and stood behind his chair. His face was more sombre now, not as angry, but I still didn't like it. I had chosen to ignore his rude comment because I knew he didn't mean it, but it still hurt.
"No, I can't," Clarke said suddenly. "I...can't lose this, Rory. It's all I've got, this company is all I've got."
I felt twinge. What about me, didn't he have me?
"That's not true," I whispered.
"It is," Clarke said. "If I have to do something like this to keep it, I will. It's who I am."
"It's not," I said again. "You've changed, I've seen it."
"Then you believed my act, just like everyone else," Clarke told me. "I really haven't changed. I'm sorry, Rory."
I told still for moment and felt the pain rise in my chest. How could I have gotten him so wrong? I thought he cared. I thought he cared about this company and what his father did. He only cared the money and his image, and that was what he was showing now.
"Then, I'm sorry too," I said, straightening up, and stopping myself from maybe crying right now. "If you're going through with this, then I can't be a part of it. I quit."
"What?" Clarke snapped, turning to look at me.
"I quit," I said again strongly. "I'm allowed to, your father even wrote that if I wanted to leave, I could, and I do. I can't stay here and watch you ruin it for him. That's what will happen if you're caught, Clarke, and I can't be a part of that."
"Rory-," Clarke said.
"No, unless you change your mind, I mean, it," I told him.
I hoped he would. I hoped me saying this would make him realise what he was doing could hurt him more than help. I really hoped he wasn't just in this for the money, but when he didn't answer me, I knew his decision.
"Right. Then it all ends," I told Clarke, swallowing again to hold myself together. "Working...our deal. It's all over."
"No, that doesn't have to end too," Clarke insisted.
"Course it does," I said simply. "I can't be friends with someone I don't morally agree with what they're doing. We only knew each other because of work, this only happened because of work, so it's only fitting it all ends the same. You'll have my termination paperwork done by Friday. I'll make sure I find some resumes of people who could replace me, you'll probably need it."
"Rory, if we could just talk about this," Clarke said, quickly stepping out from behind his desk, but I was already backing away.
"We have. You made your decision, so I've made mine," I answered him, getting to the door.
"Please, Rory," Clarke was nearly begging me. It killed me inside, but I was angry in that moment. I didn't care.
"Goodbye, Clarke."
I left the office before he could speak another word.