"That was a shit show," Clarke sighed, as we finally got back his apartment, many hours later.
After the press conference we both had to stay around for a little while. Clarke took a meeting with the board to discuss more damage control. It was weird not knowing what the plan was but I didn't work there anymore so I didn't need to know I suppose. We then stayed with Parker and Ava for a while before we all finally left. I told Ava I was going to stay with Clarke again, that I would tell her the rest later, because Clarke and I still needed to talk.
We had said a lot in the last two days. We said we wanted to date and that there was something strong there but it wasn't really a conclusion. It just thoughts and feelings, nothing completely solid.
"It could've been worse," I shrugged slightly, taking off the heels I had no choice but to wear. "You could've fucked the speech up."
"Yes, I suppose that's true. Thank God it didn't," Clarke sighed. "Thank you for coming with me today and standing there. I know it wasn't as easy as it seemed."
"I told you, I want to be there for you," I told Clarke as I walked around the couch to where he was now standing. "Even though I'm not sure what we are right now, I know we're still friends and that means I'll always help."
"Friends," Clarke said slowly. "I'm pretty sure we were moving past that."
"We are," I nodded slowly. "We do have a lot to still talk about thought."
"I know," Clarke sighed and then sat on the couch. "Let's discuss it now then."
"Oh, no, we don't have to do talk right now. You've had a long day, you're dealing with everything with your dad. It can wait," I told Clarke strongly.
I saw Clarke sigh again. "Rory, sit down please."
I saw Clarke's face turn slightly serious, but his voice was still inviting. I frowned slightly but sat down close to Clarke.
"We can't wait until they catch who did this to my Dad," Clarke told me calmly. "I don't know when it'll be over or if it'll ever happen, and honestly it might never. If I wait to tell the press, or wait to do anything with the company until then, I might wait forever. It's why I made the announcement about the Gunn thing not happening. It's why I asked the PR team about us today too."
I nodded slowly. "I...I understand that. Expect that I don't know what us is yet."
"Well, I know that I don't want to be the us we were before," Clarke told me. "I...I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to take you on dates, spend as much time as I can with you and flaunt it around that I have you."
I smiled, I couldn't help it. I looked down from Clarke a little and thought about what to say. I wanted that too, but it was scary. Something else stood out though.
"Wait, you've never had a girlfriend," I pointed out.
Clarke rolled his eyes slightly. "I know. None of the girls in my recent past I could say I even dated, but I kind of dated a little during high school."
"Teenage romance is not the same," I shook my head.
"Okay, yes maybe, but I just...know it, Rory. Some part of me just knows that this is what I want," Clarke said. "No, it's not even some part of me. I know it because I know how much I value your opinion. How I just want to be around you, and tell you everything. I know that's what being in a relationship is about, and I know I want that with you."
"There...was a time when I couldn't imagine Clarke Watson saying anything like this to me, let alone feeling this way," I told him.
"There was a time when I couldn't imagine feeling this way, but I'm glad I do," Clarke admitted.
"It's...not all that simple though," I sighed. "I mean, for one, I won't be in New York for much longer. We start this thing and in two months I'll be gone."
I saw Clarke hesitate as he realised what I was saying. "You mean, law school, right? It's not easy to forget your dream is Yale."
"If...everything goes to plan, then I'll get in and I have to move to Connecticut," I said softly.
"Okay, Connecticut isn't that far away," Clarke pointed out. "I could buy an apartment up there, come on weekends if everything works out. It's definitely not the end of the world."
"No, there's no way I could ask you do that," I said shaking my head.
"And there's no way I could ever ask you to stay because of me, which is why I would do this. Rory, I want to try what I can to make this work. I'm not just going to give up because you're moving away," Clarke said strongly. "I know for a fact I feel something and that we deserve to give this thing ago."
I was silent for a minute. It was so easy for him. He knew exactly what he wanted, and that was me. He wasn't scared or letting anything get in his way, it was quite refreshing actually, knowing how determined he was. Isaac never knew exactly what he wanted, nor did he ever try and tell me.
"You're scared," Clarke said suddenly lifting his hand up to my face. "It's why you keep coming up with excuse, like my Dad and law school."
"No," I said quickly but then sighed. I couldn't keep lying to myself. "Well, of course I am. After Isaac... I kind of let him get to me. I guess I'm not as good at trusting anymore, or opening myself up to someone."
"Well, you can trust me, and despite what I used be like, I'm nothing like Isaac," Clarke promised. "Things may be a little complicated at first because of who I am but if you just believe in me then I think this could really work."
"I... do trust you," I admitted. "I just want to make sure we've sorted everything out before we go alerting the media to your new relationship."
Clarke rolled his eyes at me a little, he heard the sarcasm in my statement. "I know it's a little different, and it's not exactly normal, but if I don't do something, then someone will spin it into some ridiculous scandal, and I don't want that for you."
"We'll have some time, right? I mean, I definitely have to tell my Dad before he sees it on TV because he might kill me. Actually, no. He'd kill you," I frowned slightly.
"Of course we get time. I know that it feels like it's going quick because of how this all started, so we're already pretty close," Clarke pointed out.
"Yeah, and I guess just straight away sleeping with each other last night did not help," I said, looking away. "We've actually never been on a date, or anything resembling a date."
"I don't know, our time in Paris together was rather close to that," Clarke shrugged.
I laughed immediately. "Yeah, expect I didn't think much of you then, so no."
Clarke laughed back. "Okay...okay. So we do this right, we start slowly, I'll take you out on a date and take you home and just give you a kiss goodnight."
"Maybe I'll actually feel sense of normality then," I nodded. "But...not starting tonight, right? I mean, I am still staying over?"
"If you want to, yes," Clarke smiled slightly.
"I want to. After weeks of not seeing you I want to stay," I told him simply.
Clarke smiled. "I know what you mean."
We both sat there for a minute in silence. The dynamic felt different, and I knew it had to be because we just decided to basically be in a relationship and work through everything together. I realised it was the second time we had made deal together, expect this deal was a little different.
"You right if I go take a shower? I feel like I'm covered in something after all those photos were taken," Clarke sighed as he stood up. "Then maybe we could get some food or something?"
"Course, do what you've got to do. It's been a long day."
Clarke kissed me softly before he left the room. It was those little kisses that made me sure that something was really happening and it wasn't just what it was before. When we had kissed before it felt like there was always something else behind it and it wasn't just for the comfort, for the knowledge of knowing it meant were together.
I stayed in the lounge room while Clarke showered and realised it was the first time we had been apart since I walked through the front door yesterday. It felt weird, especially because it had just started to feel normal again to be next to him. It had me wondering about us already. I mean, it was Clarke Watson. I would be dating Clarke Watson so I would be in the public eye at some point. Maybe not too badly like Alicia because I was a no body, but I would be there.
Expect maybe it was the only con in this whole situation. The pros were big. I mean, he was everything I wanted, I liked the way he treated me, let me decide my life, not decide it for me, and together we were amazing. It wasn't like with Isaac. Sometimes I had to force things to make it move forward, like pretending to like hockey so we could spend more time together. I liked sports, but not like that. Clarke respected what I liked and compromised, and that was all I asked. He was honest and open with me. I suppose the pros out-weighed the cons.
In the middle of my thoughts my phone started ringing. I jumped slightly because I had literally been lost in my head. I glanced at the caller ID and realised I had no idea who it was but ended up answering it anyway without really thinking about it.
"Hello?" I said slowly.
"Oh, Rory, I wasn't sure you would answer," the voice spoke quickly.
"Well, I don't know who this is," I admitted.
"It's Heath...Heath Gunn," he said softly.
I sighed heavily. I deleted his phone number after Clarke made the deal, that's why I didn't know who it was.
"And now I see why you didn't think I would answer, and I probably should just hang up," I said quickly, completely ready to do that.
"No, no, please," Heath said loudly as I had pulled the phone away from my ear. "I called to apologise, I swear."
"Apologise for what exactly? The part where you blackmailed Clarke to make a deal, or the part where you used me to find something to blackmail him with," I said a little aggressively.
"All of it, I promise. I didn't plan to meet you that day and then do what I did. It was just...when you were talking it was obvious you were talking about Clarke, and once you left I saw my father and he was disappointed I hadn't gotten anything from the gala, which is when I panicked and called Clarke," Heath explained.
"So that's when you blackmailed him?" I guessed.
"I did, and I'm sorry," Heath stressed. "Seriously, I am. It was stupid and wrong. I know that, especially after seeing you at the press conference today. I was wrong to think it was some scandal, especially after what you told me. Clarke did the right thing by ending the deal."
"Especially since it was mostly illegal," I reminded him.
"Yeah, and that was stupid too. I want to be an honest person and an honest business man, I swear, I just...," Heath spoke quickly again.
"Panicked, okay, I get it," I sighed heavily. "Look...okay the deal is over now anyway, and I don't care anymore as long as you promise to stay out of it now, and don't try pull anything again."
"I promise, I really do," Heath said quickly. "I...I'm glad you actually talked to Clarke by the way."
"Eh, and forget we ever had that conversation, okay?" I groaned.
"Okay, and, Rory, again, I'm sorry."
I hung the phone up and sighed. At least that was one problem sorted. Heath Gunn wasn't going to ruin any part of the business now, thank God. Heath had seen us together too, which meant others had seen us too. I definitely had to follow through and call my Dad, which I decided there was no time like the present to do that. I mean, I did have my phone in front of me right now nad not much else to do.
"Hey, Dad," I felt myself smile as he answered the phone.
"Aurora! I feel like it's been a while since you've called," he said warmly.
Truthfully I tried to call my Dad at least once a week, but I had missed out the last few weeks.
"Ah, yeah, sorry, things have been a little crazy, which is why I'm calling," I told him cautiously.
"Why do you sound like you have something big to tell me? Oh, did you get into Yale, is that it?" my father said excited.
I laughed a little. "No, not yet, won't know that until next week. It's actually a little more...personal I guess."
I was almost scared to tell my Dad the truth. When Henry passed away he asked who I would be working for and when I told him it was Clarke he wasn't too pleased. He said the guy would probably slack off, not give a crap about his job or me, and at first that might've been right. It wasn't the Clarke I knew now though.
"Okay go on," my father said cautiously.
"So, there's something that I need to tell you, before you see it elsewhere because that would be terrible," I rambled a bit. "I want you to hear it from me and not some TV report or magazine, or something stupid like that."
"Rory, you're not making much sense," my father stopped me before I could keep talking. "And frankly you making me think bad things."
I breathed out heavily. There was no way he could hate me for this.
"It's not bad, or at least I don't think so," I told him. "I need to tell you... that I'm dating Clarke Watson."
There was silence for a moment and I even wondered if the line had cut out, but as I looked at my phone I realised he was still there.
"I know...what you think of him, or what they tell you about him in the paper, but it really isn't who he is, not even slightly," I explained. "I wouldn't date him if it was, and I know you know I'm smarter than that."
"Yes, I do know you're smart," my dad said finally. "Look, Rory, I don't know the guy, you do. Of course I want to be your Dad and protect you, but I also know that I couldn't do that all the time once you moved to New York. I had to trust that you knew what you were doing, and I do."
"Expect that's definitely not always true," I sighed. "I didn't know with...Clarke, for a while."
"You thought about it, took your time, maybe that was smart?" my father suggested.
I paused. Sometimes I hated fatherly wisdom.
"Okay, so maybe being unsure wasn't such a bad thing because then I can think it out," I spoke softly. "I thought about it a lot, Dad. I'm sure now."
"And that's all I care about," my Dad told me plainly. "Whatever makes you happy makes me happy. I mean, don't get me wrong I definitely want to meet him and make sure he's good enough, but I know you're smart enough to deal with it for now."
"Thanks Dad," I felt myself smile.
I went on to remind my Dad it was very likely that he would see this on the news one day, or in a magazine, and not to believe anything he read. Dad laughed and told me he didn't pay attention to that stuff anyway most of the time.
"Why do I always find you staring out this window ?" Clarke asked as I felt his arms wrap around me from behind.
"Because I like looking at the city," I told him simply, holding onto his arms. "I was just talking to my Dad."
"Oh, when you meant call him you meant right away," Clarke noted.
I rolled my eyes a little. "No time like the present, and I haven't spoken to him for a while. I'm terrible at keeping secrets from him anyway."
"Okay, well what did he say?" Clarke asked curiously.
"Oh, not much," I said, turning around so I could face Clarke. "Just for me to do what makes me happy."
"And what is that?" Clarke asked, smiling at me.
I couldn't help but smile back. "Something tells me it's you."
"I really hope so, because it is for me," Clarke told me.
I knew it couldn't always be simple between Clarke and I, even if we were good together. No, easy, that was definitely a pipe dream. Right now, however things were good and I had to relish in that whilst we could.
I wasted no time then, getting to his lips to mine and moving my arms to go around his neck. I didn't just want it to be one of those comforting pecks though, I wanted to keep kissing him, and when he realised he made sure to kiss me back just as strongly and pull my body close to him. I felt ourselves slowly walk together, but not far as we literally walked into the window. I felt my back hit the glass as he pressed me up against it. I loved that there was still this strong sexual drive between us, and that was definitely important in a relationship.
"I thought we were going to have food?" Clarke said breathlessly as he pulled away from my lips.
I looked him up down and realised I had wrapped my leg around the back of his legs and we were now definitely having a moment.
"I feel like that...that can wait, don't you think?" I said just as breathlessly.
"I mean, yeah...definitely, we don't have to eat now," Clarke shrugged it off.
"Yeah, later...definitely," I nodded in agreement.
We were kissing again pretty quickly, Clarke now moving his hands over my body. I was sure Clarke knew every inch of my body like the back of his hand but he always made sure to feel every inch again and remember it. I liked to do the same if I was honest though. I loved running my fingers through his hair, and I could tell he needed a haircut though, probably been too preoccupied to get the chance. Not to mention his body, which could literally drive me crazy sometimes. I liked that he worked out. It was superficial of me to think but to feel his pecks and his abs and his biceps, he could be strong.
Like right in this moment when he wrapped his strong arms around me and picked me up. I made sure to wrap my legs around his body so he could hold me up, but it also helped that I was now pressed up against the window. He liked dominating the situation but he also listened to whatever I had requested.
"Not here," I muttered against his lips. "Bedroom."
It didn't take more than a second for Clarke to walk us to the bedroom. I had never felt more safe or at ease then right now with him. My future was uncertain but at least for the moment, I knew I had Clarke.