**
It is pitch black.
The absence of light deprives her of her senses. She stumbles into the essence of darkness.
Then suddenly, as if a flick of a switch, a glimpse of light shines down on Yuan Zi Yan.
She leisurely opens her eyes. Her vision blurry, her body weighed down. She feels weak, slightly faint due to the lack of adrenaline. Something is covering her mouth-- Perhaps a ventilator.
"D--Doctor, Doctor!" Someone hurriedly shouts, "My daughter has awoken!"
Through her blurry vision, Yuan Zi Yan can detect that bodies swiftly surround her, forcing her eyes open with a source of light. She hears voices again, yet she cannot determine who is speaking nor what they are saying.
Moments pass before everything is secure and the bodies depart from the room.
Yuan Zi Yan can finally breathe again.
"My daughter.." cries a voice. A hand reaches out to Zi Yan's cheeks, "Everything will be okay.."
Her vision is less clouded and more clear now. She spots a white setting, feels the warmth of the sun glowing down on her, and foretells the presence of a person to her left. A familiar face anticipates for her response.
"...D-Dad.." She manages to force out.
He nods with worry in his eyes, "Yan Zi, just you wait. I've called your mom already. She was buying groceries but she is on the way here now.."
Yan Zi.
That name.
Oh, yes.
That is her name in this world.
"There's no need for.. her to rush.." The young lady eyes the room, "My muscles ache.. Arms, heavy. Dad.. Where are we?"
Her father responds, "We're in the hospital. You have been here for several weeks.." He begins to tear up, "We were really worried when we found you unconscious in your bed. The Doctor said you overdosed on sleeping pills. If you have any stresses, let us know, okay? Your mom cannot bear losing her only child.."
Several weeks..
Has only several weeks pass?
He fixes her hair, "Aiya, look at how skinny our Yan Zi has become. We need to feed you tons once we get home."
Suddenly, someone kicks the door open.
"YAN! ZI!"
Her mother stomps into the room with an infuriated yet painful expression, "You careless child! Are you fearless now, huh?! You dare to overdose on pills, huh?!" She raises her hand, attempting to discipline the daughter who chose to abandon this world and her family.
"Mom!" Yan Zi yells, halting the actions of her mom. The elderly woman begins to tear up upon hearing her daughter's voice. She lowers her hands.
"I'm back, Mom.." Yan Zi mumbles with her eyes gleaming with tears. "..I missed you."
Her mom breaks down in tears, proceeding to wrap her arms around the fragile young lady. "Good. Good. Safe and healthy. We are glad you are back."
She releases her daughter from her arms, "Daughter, how do you feel?" Yan Zi's mother takes a seat beside her.
"I had a.." Yan Zi stares blankly down at the white sheets, "..bittersweet dream. It felt too real. I.. I don't know how I feel right now."
Her mom rests her hand atop her daughters, "Don't stress. The Doctor said that waking up from a coma is nothing like waking up from a good sleep. He said that the thoughts and dreams that go through your mind when you're in a coma feel so real, you would believe that those dreams are actually your memories." She pats Yan Zi's head, "But it's okay now. You're back with us now, no more dreams."
It was all just a dream?
All that she went through,
All those moments in which she laughed and cried,
..Just a dream.
She tries to combat the seething avalanche of tears that have been building up: "What do I expect?"
Her story..
It was a tale of a villainess, overall.
Villains don't have happy endings.
An emotional exhaustion overwhelms her. Her throat holds back something between a sob and a shout.
Then suddenly, she feels something sharp pressed against her leg, under the white sheets. When she reaches under to grab the item, her eyes widen.
"Ah, did a nurse accidentally leave that behind?" Her mom questions, yet Yan Zi is indulged in a deep thought.
If..
If everything was just a dream...
Then why, Heavens?
Why would you leave this with me?
The ache builds in her heart.
How am I supposed to move on..
If you leave this with me?
She tightly clutches the peach flower hairpin. It presses against her chest, "It belongs to me.." She whispers, bawling out in tears without restraint. "It belongs to me." Her lungs rummage for oxygen. Each gasp tears down her throat, as all the memories flow back to her.
The scene fades away, as the parents of Yan Zi wrap her in their arms again, unwilling to let their daughter go.
After months of light physical therapy, Yan Zi is able to regain her ability to walk. Yet despite so, there is one thing she can never do: move on. She saw several psychologists yet even she, herself, cannot identify nor clarify the nature of her emotions.
But that is reality.
In reality, most of us never entirely move on.
For Yan Zi, she is no exception.
There is no pushing through; instead,
There is absorption, adjustment, and acceptance.
She cannot bear to just move on.
Or maybe, there is no need to move on,
Only a new way of viewing and seeing,
A new definition of herself.