**
The sun has risen 365 times since she last saw his face. The whistling winds dance with the grass and florals, unbinding the dandelions that adrift throughout the sky.
The dawn is calling, as the soft grass laps at her feet and tickles her finger.
She chooses this day to dream.
With a close of her eyes, she envisions herself lying side by side on the cool grass under the orange sky with him. "Sir, everyone keeps telling me to get over you.. but I can't seem to. Heavens know I've tried."
The soft bask of the moonlight is shining as the first stars came out to watch over them. He smiles, his fingers reach for hers. "Zi Yan, I don't think you ever left me. You've had my heart all this time."
He plants a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Heal. It's time to take a chance in the unknown."
She stops to look up at the vast and infinite sky.
Wiping the tears away, she rises up from the grass. The hills are filled with greeneries and the bloated sky is a blue sea.
"Alright!" She raises her hand up in the air, "Yan Zi, fighting! You can do this!"
In the end,
We all have our struggles and hardships.
Yet what defines us is not our failures.
It is our ability
To continue loving and striving,
To be content with ourselves,
And to gracefully let go of things not meant for us
Yet keep them close to our hearts.
For the next two years, Yan Zi has decided to continue her education in a University that is neither prestigious nor groundbreaking.
But that is okay. It doesn't have to be. She is willing to try anything out. After all, this time, she is not starting from scratch, but from experience.
She is an active student in the division of the biological sciences, under plant biology.
Indeed, it was difficult to land a job in the Botany department. In fact, she undergoes over forty interviews for private research firms and yet they all reject her due to her temporary break and lack of experience.
In the forty first try, however, she sees a glimpse of hope. And so she is accepted as a beginner.
Soon, she levels up and is titled the employee of the year.
Then she is given the opportunity to continue her education in the School of Integrative Plant Science. She becomes involved in Soil and Crop Sciences, Horticulture, and Plant Breeding and Genetics.
The point is, she never stops striving to be the best version of herself.
Yet still,
Til' this day, she does not have the spirit to write.
Parts of her have been hesitant to write.
She could not pen anything down.
Was it due to fear?
The fear that her lips won't muster,
Her hands won't be able to write,
And blood would be splattered across the paper?
No.
It is because she has learned to seek her happiness by limiting her desires rather than in attempting to satisfy them.
She fell in love with writing four years ago, desiring to chase what she thought was her own happiness. She wanted fame. Approval. Recognition.
The truth is,
We will not find happiness if we seek happiness in its own sake.
Seek for duty instead,
And happiness will follow as the shadow comes with sunshine.
Yes, writing will remain a choice.
But it will only be a hobby she will return to when she has establish a sense of stability in her life.
**
"Lab Manager Yan," speaks a young man, knocking on the door. "Have you finished with your conference earlier?"
Yan Zi nods, "Yes." She stacks the folders atop the self, "I have a meeting scheduled for 2:30 in the afternoon. Is there something the matter?"
The man smiles, "No, I was just.." He stands up straight, "wondering.. if you'd like to go out and have a drink sometimes?"
The young lady expresses a sudden feeling of wonder and astonishment, "..Me?"
He chuckles softly, "Yes, you." To his chagrin, he stuffs his hands into his pockets, "Will you please give me a chance to prove myself to you?"
"Ah-" With a relaxed posture, the Lab Manager announces, "Yu Wen, I am flattered and grateful for your kind offer but I am afraid that I will have to say 'No.'"
"W-Why..?"
She inquiries, "Do you know that..."
"I am engaged already?"
The young man coughs, "Y.. You are? But I don't see a ring on your finger!"
"Well," she points at the peach flower hairpin that is deliberately inserted into her hair bun, "Look here."
"That hairpin... You have worn it the first day you've worked here.. I thought you just liked ancient keepsakes. I should've gotten a clue." He sighs and shuffles his feet, admitting his defeat, "Is he.. at the least, a good man?"
She gazes into the distance, with a faraway expression. The young lady gently grins, "..The best man I've ever met."
He smiles, exhaling a breath of relief, "If that's so.. then I am glad."
The young lady rises from her seat. She pats the man's shoulder before exiting the room, "Don't take it personally. One day, you will find love when you least expected it."
When she arrives to the destination of the meeting, the Secretary of the EastCo Company approaches her. "Thank you for accepting to be our business partner, Miss Yan." They exchange a hand shake, "As I've said in the phone call, we would like to work with you to complete a recent project proposal. Our Director would like to discuss the plan with you."
They take the elevator together, "Miss Yan, I apologize beforehand for our Director. He has lost his fiancée several years ago and he still has not recovered from it. Please pardon him if he is a bit cold."
"Oh, no worries!" After taking the elevator, they soon arrive at the company's conference room.
Behold, she is one step away from the destination.
That's it.
She's doing it.
To her, this symbolizes her growth,
Her development as a person.
She is proud of the woman she has become
Because she has fought to become her.