There was only darkness at the end of the tunnel.
Only darkness after death.
No light.
No God.
So don't believe everyone's fairytail fantasies, ignore what every story tells you. There is no such thing as happy ever after. Or closure. Or love.
It's not real.
None of it.
No Prince Charming. No hero to save the damsel from the dragon. No nothing. Just fire. Just hate.
So don't believe the world's lies.
You can only rely on you.
Everyone else will let you down.
I had a girlfriend, a good social life, a decent job. I was going to Harvard university in America to study Law. But, instead, I decide to join the army. To do something for my country. So I joined. And I fought.
That woman on the news, the Arab girl who was awarded a medal. That was me.
For bravery, they told me. You saved the entire rescue squad! they say. You rescued the ones who were trying to rescue you! You single handedly cripple the enemy! You, the first female Arab to be recognise like a saviour. A hero. A saint.
It's bullshit.
I don't care that I won a shiny medal. They know I don't.
Those white men, the men who never served on the front lines, but instead ordered people around from behind their comfortable desks, in their comfortable chairs. Where, when their jobs were over, they could go back to their comfortable homes, greet their lovely wives, and go say hello to their perfect daughters or sons.
They looked at me, when I returned. They saw I was covered in blood, with a bullet lodged deep in my shoulder, two perfectly broken legs, and a completely shattered spine.
Their first thoughts went like this: "Blood? Where did that come from? Why is a woman covered in blood? And why is she on a stretcher? Can she not walk on her own?" Then, they changed to this: "Oh, that's her blood. Oh dear, this will not look good to the public." Eventually, they will take in her soldier's uniform. Then, they realise that actually, she is a soldier.
Then, they notice something that, to most modern people, wouldn't have matter one bit. She was black. And not only that, another black woman her age was planting a kiss on her check. Making her promise to get better.
"A sister." They think, "Its got to be. Obviously is."
Then, finally, they notice the identical rings on the two women's hands.
"They're married!!!!!" They think, "There are two black, gay women in my work place. And one of them is a soldier."
The next thought that will come to mind is how selfish that black couple is. No grandchildren for their parents. How horrible.
"No!" You say, "No, no one would think that! Why do you assume the worst?"
Simple.
Because, dear reader, the worst is often the truest.
The worst is the world.
Deal with it.