Me: Hi dad.
Father: Emily, my dear. I thought they took your phone.
Me: They discharged me months ago
Samuel: Oh whoopee
Mother: Samuel, be nice and don't annoy!
XOXO Your mother.
Me: OMG u don't need 2 punctuate sentences on texts and u don't need 2 say XOXO Your mother!!! This is WhatsApp not a formal letter!!!!!
Mother: You missed some commas, dear.
I sighed in exasperation, glaring at my phone. A family group chat on WhatsApp. I regretted it instantly. Samuel, my second eldest brother, hadn't talked to me or any of my family since David sued him over that girl. Mother, still stubbornly insisting that I was straight, hadn't come to terms with modern technology, either. Father, on the other hand, was delighted by it. David hadn't deigned to respond.
Father: Adja, embrace the technology. You'll find it quite interesting.
Mother: Don't tell me what to do!
Sincerely, Dr. Adja Hussain, PhD
Me: We're ur family u don't have to call ur self Dr
Samuel: Is there a point to this or can i go
*You added "Jade".*
Father: Good morning, Jade.
Jade: Mr Hussain. Dr Hussain. Sam.
Samuel: sup jade
Jade: me and Em feel that we should all meet up at some point. u guys didn't know that Em was back so i think we all need to like have a chat
Father: What a wonderful idea, Jade. When should we meet?
Samuel: wait Em? as in Emily? I thought she died in China.
Me: I never went to China
Samuel: Really oops
Me: do u pay attention to anything
Samuel: to stuff I care about
Me: who do u think was txtng????
Samuel: dunno. I know a lot of chick's called Emily. u don't stand out
*"Jade" removed "Samuel"*
*"Jade"* removed "David"*
Jade: so I think we should meet at Costa in Wokingham maybe
Father: Sure. Say, five on Saturday?
Mother: Five thirty. XOXO Dr. Hussain
Father: Very well. I will see you all then.
Me: c u then
Jade: 👋 bye 👋
Mother: Goodbye. Sincerely, Dr. Adja Hussain, PhD.