White. So much white. White walls. People in white coats. Big scary machines that he hadn't even been old enough to understand. Blood. Screaming. The feeling of nerves being detached from his left eye. Being strapped down to a metal bed and being put into what seemed like a white and transparent coffin—
Wait, what?
The last part...That wasn't right.
Owen scrunched up his face. Panic began to settle in, his breathing getting harsher, but more from being unable to identify his own memories. Or what should be his own memories? He was struck with the realization that he didn't recognize those memories. It was obvious that it had happened to him, but somehow, he had no recollection of it happening or why it happened.
Suddenly, Owen felt two arms wrap around him and pull him into an embrace, "It's okay… We got out of there. We're going to be safe, no matter what…I promise, no one here will let us go through that again," Fenix said softly, resting his chin on Owen's head. Owen wanted to speak, to tell Fenix that something was wrong, that it wasn't what he was thinking, and that something was wrong with his memories. But how could he? How was he even supposed to explain this? Was he losing his mind?
The smaller boy hadn't even noticed that his legs had given out under him. Fenix quickly picked him up, one arm under his knees, the other holding Owen's paralyzed body close to his. He walked over to the couch, where Kaedan and Xander were. Kaedan noticed first, Xander seeing seconds later. Fenix mouthed to them, "Look after him," before leaving for a minute. Kaedan looked to Xander before the older man took his hand off Kaedan's waist.
The latter got up and sat down next to Owen. There was barely enough room for the two of them, but that was alright. Kaedan had always been a comforting presence for Owen in a way that he couldn't explain. The older man wrapped one arm around the teenager's shoulder and gently pulled him so that he was leaning on him. Owen rested his head on Kaedan's shoulder as the other man rubbed the boy's back. Xander watched them, obviously concerned, but Kaedan shook his head. Too many people would just be overwhelming.
Soon, Owen's trembling subsided into soft and rapid breathing, "Are you feeling any better?" Kaedan asked, calmly and softly. Owen nodded slowly, as his breathing faded into calm, even-paced breaths.
"I'm sorry, I don't even know why that…I haven't had one that bad in a while. Ah, I interrupted your movie, didn't I?" He asked and Kaedan shook his head. In the end, it was Xander who answered.
"Don't worry, Owen, you're much more important than a movie. Don't ever feel guilty for having to interrupt us, I can assure you that we honestly will drop whatever we are doing for you. Besides, we were going to leave anyway. No point in watching a movie if someone isn't going to stay awake," Xander smiled, teasing Kaedan, who glared at him before giving him the middle finger.
Fenix returned with a glass of water, and Kaedan took this as a sign for him and Xander to leave. He patted Owen's head before getting up and moving away, giving Fenix space to sit down in front of Owen. Xander got up and walked over to Owen, pressing a kiss to the boy's forehead. "Remember what I said, feel free to come find us if you need us," He said and joined Kaedan at the doorway. The two of them left the room, leaving only Fenix and Owen in the room.
As Owen took a few sips of water, he murmured, "I'm sorry. I don't even know what happened, I haven't had an episode that bad since I was, like, fifteen or so. I didn't think it would spring up like that again."
"Don't be sorry, Owen. This isn't something that you can just get over. It might not ever go away, but that's why we're all here. I'm glad I can help you after what my uncle put you through. Besides, you've…Been a bit tense recently. I didn't want to bring it up but you seem like you've been rather jumpy lately," Fenix replied softly. He helped Owen get up and the two walked to their shared room.
"...I guess I have," Owen murmured softly, "I don't even know why. It just…Something feels wrong and I can't even explain it."
"That's fine," Fenix replied, "Just as long as you know that if you do want to talk about it, I'm always here. I don't mind just listening, even if you feel like you don't make sense," He opened the door of their shared room and moved toward the closet.
As Fenix grabbed his pajamas and turned to the bathroom door, he heard Owen shuffling on the bed, "Hey, Fenix?" He asked quietly.
The ginger-haired boy turned back to look at him, "Yeah?" He asked, wondering if Owen would come clean about what was bothering him.
"I…Never mind. It wasn't important. Hurry up, I need to go change as well. We're both really tired," Owen smiled softly.
Fenix hesitated a moment before nodding, but then he turned around and dropped the clothes on his bed before kneeling down in front of Owen, so they'd be almost eye-level to each other. He leaned in and searched Owen's eyes for any sense of discomfort. "Hey, you do know you can tell me anything, right? Like I said, I won't judge you. Feel free to tell me what is bothering you when you're ready, alright?" He said quietly.
Owen looked into his eyes. He then slowly nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Alright, but you might want to get going before I steal the chance to get in the bathroom before you," He laughed.
"I'm gonna go change, you better not have fallen asleep by then," Fenix grinned as he turned and walked into the bathroom.
The smile dropped off Owen's face as soon as Fenix was out of sight, "What in the actual fuck was that? It's like I don't even know when that happened…" He whispered. The more he tried to think about it, the blurrier his vision got, and tightness started to rise in his chest. As he gave his mind a break and tried not to think about it, the pain subsided. He sighed, "Well, at least it's not hurting anymore…"
Fenix came out of the bathroom to see Owen curled up in a ball, snuggled up in the blankets with a small smile on his face, "Good night, Owen. I'm always here for you."
Later that night, Risále stepped out of her room and froze when she heard quiet mumbling and choked sobs. She leaned towards Mina and Lumina's room as she heard the quiet voice say, "It's been a while since you've had a nightmare about her."
She knocked on the door lightly, "Is everything alright?" She asked worriedly.
There was silence, and the door was opened by Mina, who looked melancholy but tired at the same time, "How much time and patience you got?" She asked, leaning on the door.
Risále gulped and stepped into the room. Mina closed the door behind them, and Lumina looked at them both. Her eyes were red and she was wiping away her tears. Somehow, she was surprised even though she knew she shouldn't have been. Lumina might have been a strong woman but that didn't mean she didn't have her darker times.
"Just...Sit down, Risále. I think that you should brace yourself. It's not—It's not an easy thing to hear," Risále nodded and sat on the chair in the room as Mina moved closer to Lumina, hand stroking her back, The older woman took a deep breath, "It started when I met her. She told me she would give me everything, and instead, she almost took away everything from me…"
In the end, no one knew about the man sitting alone, staring up at the night sky through his window, with eyes filled with determination and yet a sense of fear and doubt crawling up inside of him, through his throat, through his lungs, until it was getting hard to breathe.