"Well, this is awkward," Xander said, as he ran into Mina and Leon. The younger girl simply shrugged as she peered into the taller man's room, and Leon looked over her shoulder, "I thought you'd be with Risále," He added, looking at the boy.
Leon's cheeks flushed, "She's been here for weeks now, I don't have to be around her every waking minute, Xander."
"Yeah, sure, that's definitely what he meant by that," Mina scoffed, "Anyway, I'm surprised he's already asleep. Normally it takes him forever, at least 2 AM. Did you go too hard on him or something?" Mina said, checking her watch. Leon choked as Xander rolled his eyes.
"You're unbelievable sometimes. He had a really bad headache and started burning up all of a sudden. I had a few headaches a while back but they were...Really weird to say the least. Kaedan was sleep-talking a little on the way back and he mentioned 'The visions are all wrong.' I think I kind of know what's going on but I don't think he's going to tell me right now. Do you think you could talk to him and find out how he's feeling?" He asked.
Leon's breath caught. This was falling in place even more than he thought it would. Mina had mentioned something was up but now Kaedan was saying… "Yeah, I'll talk to him. I think we've all been a little bit off recently," Mina said cautiously, being wary of that chest pain that crept up randomly.
"I knew I could trust you with it," Xander sighed in relief.
"But just to make sure, you're sure that both of you just didn't do some extreme physical activities—" Mina began to say and Leon groaned, covering his face.
"I thought that out of Xander, you, Kaedan, and Lumina, you were the least shameless. I realize now I was very much wrong about that," He glared at her.
"Alright, alright, I'll shut up. But you really did fulfill your promise. Thank you for that. He needed something good in his life after, you know…Everything," She said quietly.
Xander smiled softly, "Of course."
"No one blames you, Xander. But his older brother and his mother in one go, and then finding out that his parents might have had something to do with everything that went wrong in his life? I can't imagine how rough that must have been. The people that were supposed to love you and protect you…" Leon said softly.
"There's even more to that than you know, Leon, but it's not my place to tell you. Let's just say that what his parents did goes deeper than what you'd imagine. Anyway, it was a rough time all around, and even though he wouldn't acknowledge it at the time, finding you the way we did at the White Lotus...It scared him. It scared all of us," Mina sighed.
"I know. I completely understand. I am not going to let him get hurt the way he did five years ago, let alone be the one to hurt him again. And I can't watch Lumina hurt the way she did after you all found me. She was the only thing I had to live for in my darkest times, and I don't want to see her like that again—" Suddenly, Mina launched herself at Xander, hugging him tightly around his middle and burying her face in his chest.
"Minnie? What's wrong?" Xander was surprised and confused when he felt Mina's tears on his shirt. Leon let out a shaky sigh. He knew Mina had been holding this pain inside for a while now. It was only a matter of time until it came spilling out.
"I'm sorry. You—I don't think people have told you this enough but you deserved so much better. You're a good person, Xander, you know that right? No matter what they told you back then, no matter what anyone thought, you are a good man. I'm so sorry that you had so many times when you barely had anything to hold on to. I'm sorry there was a time when you didn't have anything to hold on to. You went to them because you felt guilty for something but whatever it was, it could have never been equivalent to giving up your life. Your life is so precious, Xander, please never forget that."
"Mina, what? Where is this coming from?" Xander's laugh came out shocked and sounded choked. Leon put a hand on his shoulder.
"...The video, Xander. They sent her the video of how they hurt you and when you said you...Couldn't go on," Leon said softly, "We vaguely knew that you went there on purpose but hearing you actually say it was…"
Xander's eyes widened and he let out a shaky breath, hugging her tighter, "She told you?" He asked Leon.
The boy nodded his head hesitantly, "Even though I wasn't there when all of this happened…There was no one else for her to talk to about it. She didn't want to remind Lumina or Kaedan of that time, and Fenix and Owen still don't know about it. So, I was the only one left. She…Hadn't told anyone aside from me that she received that video," Xander made a pained noise as he pulled Mina closer to her and tugged Leon into his arms as well.
"Fuck, Mina, I'm so sorry. I…I didn't even realize that you'd been dealing with that all alone this whole time. Was…Was that video how you knew to come find me back then?"
Mina nodded, her face still pressed into his shirt, her voice muffled as she spoke, "I didn't tell them exactly what the video said. I just told them that I figured out you went to the White Lotus and they didn't question that information. Even after five years, I still can't bring myself to show them…"
Xander sighed, "It might be better not to. I need you both to understand that I don't feel that way, not anymore. Everything I said in that video was mainly out of desperation. I genuinely felt like I had nothing to live for after what happened, but I have so much now. So much I can't lose. I'm not giving up. I have a family I love now, after all."
It took a few minutes of Xander holding Mina and Leon for the two to calm down, finally taking a few shaky breaths and pulling away. "You swear? You won't give up?" She said, her voice, small.
"I swear," Xander said solemnly and wiped her tears away, "Your makeup is a mess now, by the way," He laughed softly.
"You try to look pretty after sobbing your soul out while wearing non-waterproof makeup," She laughed too, "I bet you I look better than you would."
"Yeah, because our Mina is so pretty," Leon muttered and Mina punched him in the shoulder, "Go get some water, you need it, alright?" He said quietly to her. She nodded as she left the hallway.
"Babe?" Kaedan called from his and Xander's bedroom, his voice slightly raw. Xander and Leon looked to see Kaedan had sat up, rubbing his eyes so he could see a bit better, "Leon? Are you alright?"
Leon laughed softly and nodded his head, "I should be asking you that. I think we have some things we need to talk about soon," He said and Kaedan looked at him suspiciously, "Not that you should worry about it now, it's not a top priority!"
"Besides," Xander walked over and put the back of his hand on Kaedan's forehead to check his temperature, "Your fever is still pretty high. No wonder you're so tired. No life-changing conversations until you're completely stable again," He said.
As Xander went to go get a painkilling balm, Kaedan whined slightly when Xander's cold hand left his forehead. The younger grabbed his hand, "Don't go," He said, looking up at his boyfriend with sad eyes.
"You're adorably clingy when you're sick," Xander murmured before tucking a piece of the younger man's hair behind his ear, "I'll be right there, sweetheart, I'm just gonna go get something," He added softly.
Kaedan nodded but kept his grip on Xander's hand, and slowly closed his eyes again, feeling tired. Xander leaned down and kissed his cheek, brushing a few hairs out of his boyfriend's face. The sleeping man leaned into Xander's touch with a soft sigh, which made the older smile instinctively.
Xander could faintly see someone moving around him. Leon handed him the balm and the other man whispered a quiet "Thank you".
"Xander?" Leon said quietly.
"Hm?"
"I'm really sorry."
"For what?" Xander was confused, it seemed like the apology had come out of nowhere.
Leon smiled sadly.
"You'll know soon enough."