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Chapter 40 - Bipolar II

Beth•••

"Beth we have something to tell you"

I looked at Lincoln who was already on his feet ready to support his girlfriend. Hm girlfriend...

I never thought that a day would come when I would refer to and look at the both of them as though they were strangers, as friends yet foes at the same time.

"Will it surprise me? or is it breaking news? or wait the truth only I was excluded from? Tell me Lincoln...I'm dying to know..."

He moved closer to me. "Beth don't be like this"

"Like what? I'm just being curious and..." I touched myself "..I'm not a cat do- don't worry I'll be fine"

I heard my voice breaking but I continued to put up a strong face and stopped the leaking liquor tank in my eyes from spilling anything unnecessary.

"Tell me Lincoln" I blinked furiously. My statement had come out as a plea.

He stared at me instead. My eyes danced to Becca. She chewed her bottom lip as she managed to stare back.

"What about you? Have something to say? or has your fuel dried out, after all just now you were raving and ranting. Don't tell me that you are speechless just like your boy—"

"Girls!! I'm hooommmeee!!" I was cut off by mom's yelling.

The three of us: Becca, Lincoln and I turned around to face my mom who had just stepped in.

"Hey mom"

"Alessa"

"Welcome"

The three of us said at the same time; Becca, Lincoln then me. Then we looked at each other, more like them cause I always averted my eyes the moment it wandered to theirs.

"Hi?" she regarded at us with suspicion in her eyes. "What's going on? Why are you guys staring at each other? Beth why are you in your bathrobe?"

When none of us gave her a reply she went silent for a few minutes. Did I... am I interrupting something?"

"No"

"Yes"

Becca and I said simultaneously. She the positive, I the negative. She folded her hands and forrowed her brows, to which I rolled my eyes and said: "I have a date and I don't wanna be late so... later everyone byee"

I walked to the steps and started climbing it. Each step I took I expected someone to call me back. But it didn't happen. When I was at the second to the last step mom called me.

[Really mom?...you had to wait till I reached the top before you called me back?]

I didn't say that, right? I mean that doesn't sound like me... Who is that? It sounds like one of the voices from earlier, the judgy one.

[ Hey! ]

"Beth sweetie can we talk for a few minutes before you go for your date?" mom asked with a sugar coated tone.

I could almost see the melting sugar dripping down the corner of her lips. She hardly makes requests like this, so it must be something special... like her favorite daughter and her boyfriend....

My brows instinctively rose as my eyes flew to Becca's furious face and then Lincoln. He tried to stare back at me.

But the guilt in his heart made him look away. Or was it fear....

The first tear fell before I could stop it. I looked at mom who was regarding me with a sorrowful face. I wanted to ask why they were all afraid of me.

What is wrong with me? Why do they regard me as if I was a monster?

Am I dangerous? I haven't hurt them before...or have I? I didn't dwell on that because I was afraid of it being the affirmative.

I sniffed then nodded slowly and went down to sit on one of the stools that was close to the stairs but I changed my mind and sat on the sofa.

I needed some soft comfort.

They all sat down as well. Becca and Lincoln together on one, while mom sat beside me. She took my hands in hers and stared at me for half a day.

"You know" she said quietly. Not as a question but as a fact. As if she was daring me to negate her claims. Even her face was accusing.

I tittered. "Well it was kinda hard to ignore all the Cupid arrows flying around" I looked at our joined hands. "Plus the pink rays of sunshine, the pink bubbles and blah blah blah"

Becca's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as she ducked her head down. While Lincoln had a 'so that was it?' face.

"Beth we wanted to tell you" mom started "but we...we did not know how you will take it or your reaction"

"My reaction? They are my bestest of friends. What did you think I would do? Bring down the roof? or burn down the town? or worse case scenario, kill them in their sleep? Come on gimme some credit"

They flinched when I was done. I knew it! They are scared of me...but why. I tilted my head in an 'I'm listening' angle.

She swallowed, looked at the other two before coughing gently. *cough cough* "You ought to have known this a long time ago. Well its a known fact" a known fact that I didn't know? "...but you.....You know" no I don't know "...um...you are..." yes? yes? you are almost there... go on...you can do it. She kept on moving and opening her mouth but no words came out.

"Bipolar. You are bipolar. F*ck" Becca finished harshly.

What????? BIPOLAR? How? I mean when? What? I am so confused.

I always knew that there was a reason for my craziness but bipolar? wow...just wow.

So this is why I have additional voices in my head? Were those the other personalities that I have?

one flirty, one judgy and the other... I haven't *ahem* heard her really clearly to *ahem* know what she sounds like...

[ Just say it clearly. I sound like hulk. I know...]

...like the hulk? I wasn't going to say that but since you insisted...hehehe. I was about to laugh in real life but my head suddenly felt heavy.

"Ah...ah..." I held my head as I felt a pang of pain in my head like someone was forcefully trying to pull me out of my consciousness.

I closed my eyes trying to reduce the pain. I faintly heard the voices of mom, Becca and Lincoln laced with worry. But when I reached out to them I felt no one taking my hand.

I opened my eyes but they weren't there. Where are they? There was darkness around me... What is this place? Why am I here...on my knees?

"BETH!!"

I heard mom's scream behind me. Mom? I stood up and I turned around to see her. That's when I saw...