It has been more than a month since I went home. It was still the same. I've never made an effort to be close with them. It's not the same as before. We have lost our closeness and they only spend time on work.
I was just a shadow in my mother's eyes. She treats me as if I'm just a stranger to her. She never dared talking to me in person. We only have casual and short conversations mostly when we're eating together. She's always busy in the hospital as she's one of the head doctors.
Same with dad. He's busy as always and mostly at his office. He only went home once compared to before that at seven o'clock, he's already at home, joining with us to eat.
Jack and Jace are also busy with their assigned positions in the company. One of them will be the one to manage on that. They are only free on Sundays and sometimes they even have a scheduled meeting on those days.
I want to understand the situation now. They have their own responsibilities that they can't even manage their time for us to bond together as a family. Our business is already growing bigger and they put their best to always stay at that level.
If I were in their situation I would also lose time with my family. I quite understand now their reasons to why they're always busy with our business. I realized that I'm immature and childish before to think that they always put their time on our business.
Maybe if I had understood the situation earlier, I would not have left then. Hopefully, I have been more with my family during those two years and I will not end up in this situation I am having right now.
Yet, part of me didn't regret what I have done. In that two years, I met my friends and I live a simple life I wanted to. That even for that short time, I learned how to live in a place where I can feel the freedom I wanted, and the peace I wished to have.
I want to catch-up. I want the family I grew up with get back. The family no matter how busy they are, they will still have time for each other. I want to make the most of my time now thinking of ways to regain my family.
I want to make it in a mature way. I will seek forgiveness to them for those things that I did and start a new beginning with my family. In my sixteen years of existence, it's really hard to open up to them anymore like I used to when I was a child. And I want to regain the two years I lost. I will make a move for my family to be back, just like before.
EVENING came and I was helping the maids in preparing the food for our dinner. It's Sunday today, and mom and my sister Jace just came home from work. I don't know if my mom has her night shift duty or what. She just straightly went to their room.
"Ma'am, the food is ready," said Marites, one of our maids. I nodded and thanked her.
"Thank you, I will ask Jace and mommy," I replied. "Please let me know when dad and my brother arrive."
"All right, ma'am." She left immediately while I was preparing to call my sister Jace and mom upstairs.
I was about to take another step when I reached the door of mommy's room when I heard her loud voice from outside as if screaming.
"I have something else to do, Doc! You're incharge on that patient, yet you will put the blame on me?!"
Now I just heard mom shout again. The last time I heard her shout was when she had an argument with dad. I know she is calm most of the time, but when she gets to the point where she shouts, she feels even more scary.
I was about to leave when I felt the door open. I saw mom furiously looked at me as if I have done something wrong.
" What are you doing here?"
I paused before speaking. "M-mom, let's have dinner downstairs."
"I ate already. You can eat on your own," she strictly said.
I would have refused when she went inside again and closed the door. I just sighed and went to my sister's room. I knocked first before turning the lock. It was dark inside the room so I flicked the switch before there was a light.
My sister was lying on the bed when I arrived. She hasn't change clothes yet because she's still wearing what she was wearing earlier. My sister also looks very tired. I didn't woke her up yet. I turned off the light before leaving his room. I shrugged my shoulders and went down again when I saw my housemate Mia talking on the phone.
"Yes, sir."
When I got closer she immediately handed me the phone. Curious ate me, I took it and approached and put it near my ear.
"Hello?"
"Samantha." It was Jack. The background was loud that I can't even hear him.
" Jack, won't you come home here? I prepared dinner."
"Sorry, dad and I can't go home tonight. Something came up in one of the branches in Cagayan."
I nodded even though he could not see. "It's okay brother, just be careful."
He hung up immediately. I sighed when the call ended. They're very busy today. Maybe I'll just eat the ones we cooked with the housemates again or not. I seem to have lost my appetite as well.
"Ma'am, are you all right?" I heard Mia asked. She is the youngest on our housemates and we are about the same age.
"Y-yes."
"Why are you crying?" I frowned and immediately touched my cheeks when I realized it was wet. Unceasing tears fell from my eyes so I quickly wiped them away. I don't want her to think that I am weak and hurt because my family does not have time to be at dinner.
"I'm fine, Mia," I replied and looked at her. "Just tell the others that you can eat what we have prepared. No one will eat though." I just smiled and immediately went to the bedroom. There, I shed the tears that I had previously wanted to suppress.
What a night.
I looked at my phone when it suddenly vibrated. My forehead creased as I saw the mail app and received a three voice messages from someone. It wasn't registered in my phone.
"Hey, Jane. Hope you're having a great day."
I smiled slightly as I hear that voice, husky and rasped. I know the person behind it and I just can't understand the instant rapid beat of my heart.
It was James. I don't know hoe he got my number but doesn't matter anyway. I opened the other messages he sent.
" Thank you for showing me the right way. It was fun talking to you even just for a while."
" I just made it up, my reasons. I just want to see you because I can't understand myself anymore. Goodnight."
A sudden emotion approached me. He's the only one that made me feel like this. Being wanted to see me even for no reason is a big thing to me. No one dares to asked me if I'm okay, and he just did that.
I'm grateful that someone like him never forget me like others do. He made my night special. I replied to his messages afterwards.
" Good night, James."