I am with Zaine.
He's alone now and been avoiding us since the day Cheska left. He's been always distancing himself to us as if no one cares for him. We're here in a park where I first saw him, the night when he was with his friends and Cheska. Trees surrounding us with lights over it. The street lights are aligned parallel to each other. Benches were placed around a big plaza.
I saw him sitting alone on one of the benches. People can picnic here and it's always open for everyone. This place is simple, yet very special for Zaine. He's always here, sitting alone on a bench and will just stargazing.
I bring my sketch pad with me. This is also one my hobby aside from being a fangirl and a bookworm. I like to draw things and people around.
It's already nine in the evening yet I'm still outside. I told my grandmother that I would breath some fresh air and go back after an hour as this park is just close to our house. I just felt like what happened really tired us all. As if we need some refreshments to save ourselves.
After Cheska left unexpectedly, I'm always seeing Zaine here. I didn't follow him secretly though. It's just a coincidence that I always see him here. I am aware that he is much more affected compare to us as he's the very best friend of Cheska. Zaine might really contain those emotions in him for a long time.
I am a meter away from him. Seeing him alone hits different for me. Cheska really made a big impact to him. I didn't went near him even though I knew that he needed someone to comfort him. It just that, he needed alone time with himself. I sighed before I walked near to him.
"Zaine," I called him. I don't know if he heard me because of our distance. He must've wearing an earpod or something, to think that he has the same habit with Ethan, wearing earphones or earpods. But Ethan was very obsessed to his. Just don't know the reason.
"Jane, it's you." He looked at me, slightly his brows are furrowed upon seeing me to why I'm here. I smiled sadly to him as I went near him more, enough for us to talk while havingy sketch pad with me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. I approached and sat down next to him. I ignored the thing that I am feeling right now. My hear that was beating so fast. I just want to be with him now, because I think, he needs that after some time of just being alone.
"Just ventilating." He answered and smiled at me but I noticed the sadness in his eyes when I turned to him. I just look at him and observed how he diverted his gazed from me to the other. People were roaming just like the old times. " You? What are you doing here?"
"Looking some inspiration for my drawings," I replied and averted my eyes somewhere.
We were silent for a few minutes and only the cold breeze was I could feel and the noise of the crickets. I looked at him again and saw that he was looking up at the sky now. It's not raining but not that bright too. It's as if, the sky is cooperating with what he feels right now.
Zaine is really transparent sometimes, specially at this time that he's obviously hurting. I find him before mysterious but looking at him now, he's like an open book that whoever looks at him will definitely saw that he's not alright.
"Zaine." I called to catch his attention. What topic will I opened about without mentioning about Cheska. It's been weeks since we last saw Cheska. He slowly looked at me. He looks as if he's concealing something based on his eyes, but I known better. Just by observing him whenever we're together with our friends, I kinda know him.
"Hm?"
"Are you okay? I heard that she—" I was cut off by his sudden answer.
"I don't want to talk about her." He said as the intensity of his stares were showing up. I pursed my lips. "I don't want to even hear her name."
"I don't even know why she left but I know she has a reason to why she did that," I replied and sighed. "She wouldn't leave without a reason and doesn't let the people she loves know."
Silence interfered as I stayed looking straight at him. I want him to know that I am serious and that he can rely on me. After some minutes, I heard him chuckled.
"But what can I do? She left me." He didn't looked okay as he said that. Sadness can be seen in its eyes. His voice became lower than before. And the always smiling Zaine I see is not the Zaine that's in front of me right now.
"I know it's hard, nothing is easy for the feeling we felt for that certain person. We have to endure and sacrifice for the person we love. That's how we love." I don't know why I said that. I'm not sure if he loves his friend. I just feel that.
He looked at me, straight to my eyes. I felt my heart pounding so fast but I intended to heaved a deep sigh. "Can you still wait for her?" I asked again. I don't know.
It really feels different as I asked that question. Bitterness is eating me right now. An unknown feeling is subsiding my inner self. I don't want this feeling. I am betraying myself as I knew my feelings towards Zaine grow. It never faded.
"If the stars really with us. If they are willing for Cheska and I to be together, then I will wait." He said as he diverted his eyes aboveagain—on the starless sky. "I will wait for her, no matter what happens." I heard him mumbled. Something hits different though myself as he said those words.
And just like that, I concluded something that I don't want to feel.