I asked grandma if I could stroll around the area. It's already night but I really want to go out. She just nodded but also give me a lot of instructions first before she totally agreed.
I was in a park near where I lived. It is a bit hidden because it is surrounded by trees. There are street lights installed to give brightness enough to the place as well. There are also benches on the side and in the middle of it is a wide lawn that can be trodden. This park is one of the place I considered as my safest place. Aside from roaming around here, the nature's view, it also became one of my comfort zone.
The stars are beautiful today. They don't lose their luster. Plus the moon is also bright. There are also people hanging out here. Some are with their friends, some are couples and some are with their family.
I thought of coming here to think. I didn't know what's my plans after I graduated. Am I really going back to my family? Can I live with them again? Will I be able to face the life that really belongs to me?
Many questions formed in my mind. It was so confusing that I no longer knew what to do. It's also hard to keep it to myself, but I have nothing to blame.
Alone in everything. But... I chose this. I choose to be alone, because I know. No one wants to be with me. Is life that hard? Do I need to struggles to this kind of life? Can't we just have fun? Those with have no problems?
I just sighed with that thought.
I heard shouting from elsewhere. I looked at my side, there were bunch of students who were just laughing while eating some street foods. They're fun to look at. They seem to has no problem as they enjoy the moment they're with each other.
One of them looked at me, and it was Cheska. The girl who went to Ms. Santos' office earlier and also my classmate. She even looked surprised to see me.
She smiled and immediately approached me. I couldn't move as I saw her other friends also followed her towards my direction. I don't know what to do.
"Hi, Jane!" She greeted as she sat down next to me and all I could do was look at what she's doing.
"Why are you alone?"
"A-ah, just calming my thoughts." I was suddenly taken aback by their approach. I don't even know them all.
"Hi, Jane!" I also saw Chelsea and Clifford and behind them were two other men who were just smiling at me.
"So, do you want to join us?" Cheska asked.
"Ah, no," I answered with a no gestures. I really can't afford to be with them.
"Don't be shy anymore," I stood up when Cheska pulled me and put her arm around mine.
"Nathan, where's Zaine?" Cheska asked. This is the man behind Chelsea. He's a moreno and his hair is well defined. He seems like a kpop artist with that style. He has pointed nose in real especially since I could clearly see him up close.
"I don't know." He replied. I turned to the man when he spoke.
"There, he's with a woman, talking." The man next to him pointed somewhere.
Cheska looked at it so I also turned to that direction. There was a man behind us and he was talking to a woman. Maybe this is the Zaine they are talking about.
"Luke, let's just eat." Cheska's arm loosen on mine as she approached the man next to Nathan.
"You're just jealous," he replied mischievously to Cheska. Cheska just shrugged by what her friend said.
"Why should I be jealous?" I laughed softly at what Cheska said. Maybe she likes her friend named Zaine based on her answer.
"Jane," I turned to the man named Nathan. I smiled at him as he held out his hand. "Nathaniel Wayne Salazar." I smiled and accepted his hand.
"Jane Valdez." I stated. I instantly let go of his hand. He just chuckled.
"Nice to meet you, Jane. Don't be shy." Someone suddenly walked over to Nathan. He was Luke whom Cheska called earlier.
"Hey there, Jane. I'm Luke." He also reached out so I accepted. I also introduced myself to him. Luke is also a moreno just like Nathan. He has narrow eyes and long hair similar to other Japanese.
"How are you related to Mr. Valdez?" It's a question that made me stunned.
"W-who is that?"
"Ah, my dad's friend. I thought you knew him. You have the same last name." I just nodded at what he said. I'm not sure if he refers to my dad but I just didn't ask.
"Guys, there's still a fishball here." Someone suddenly shouted at us.
"Zaine's really noisy." Nathan said who shrugging. I looked at the side he was looking at and was immediately taken aback.
There was a sudden thud inside me. It's so fast that I think I suddenly have trouble breathing. The way he walks was like in a slow motion. The wind is blowing his dishevealed hair but the looks his giving me felt surreal. Only now have I felt this way.
He came close to us and my eyes were focused on him. I couldn:t take my eyes off as he approached us.
"Hey." I was only taken back when our eyes met. "Nice to meet you. I'm Zaine."
"Jane V-valdez. Nice to meet you too." I said with a slight smile.
Cheska approached me and clung to my arm again. I notice she's very clingy, but not too much.
"She's our new friend, guys." She said smiling. He just smiled at me as he give me a bottle of fishball. My hands are trembling as I reach for it. I don't know what's really happening into me. But I knew, it is something I didn't felt before.
I don't know why my heart beats like that. All my life I hadn't felt that way before. Those smile is so handsome. Everything about him is very attractive. I can't deny that he's a full package. From those thick eyebrows, long eye lashes, pointed nose, and red kissable lips. I just watched him then while he was close to mine. Do I have a crush on him?
I don't know. I just find him attractive though. I never had a crush on someone either. I don't know this weird feeling I feel right now. I can't explain it.