Shen Miao had a long dream.
The dream seemed very long, longer than a lifetime. As a bystander, she watched herself grow from a babbling baby to a bouncing little girl, from a bouncing little girl to a slender and green young girl, then to a young woman, then to the unattainable mistress of the six palaces, and finally to the abandoned queen of the cold palace, turning into a smear of ash in the blazing fire.
She watched herself fall in love with Fu Xiuyi and beg Shen Xin to marry her to Fu Xiuyi. She sat aside and tried desperately to stop her stupid behaviour, but it was in vain. No one could hear her words, so she could only watch everything happen again.
From a bystander's perspective, how stupid were her actions back then? Shen Miao finally understood. To go through the heartbreaking sorrow once more was the worst thing. After she married Fu Xiuyi, her childhood came to an end. After all, those carefree days were joyful and free, even if they were considered stupid and foolish. When she was given the title Princess Ding, she was obliged to participate in these intrigues.
Even her son and daughter were unable to escape.
The people around her left one by one, and the First household of the Shen family, gradually declined. The prosperity of the past was like a flower that blooms in spring. Once spring is over and one heads towards summer, the flower withers when the autumn wind starts, making it look cold and desolate.
In that dark life, where one could not see a single ray, there were some matters that she had ignored. Those were the stars in the night. Other things covered them up and became unreal, but after one accidentally discovered them, they were as bright as ever. It was like there were fireworks in one's backyard, with colours that breathed life into the cold, boring night.
She saw Xie Jingxing.
Not that stubborn and obstreperous youth, not that hero who died on the battlefield. His arrogance was the same in previous generations. He rode a high horse and carried a bow, and in a conversation, he subverted an Imperial dynasty. He drank the wine she had offered under the clear and bright moonlight and gave her a wish she could not fulfil in her entire life in the dark, clouded, ruined city.
They watched fireworks during the day and even did not miss the promise of that New Year's night. They had a chance encounter, and he became the most indispensable person in her life.
Because of him, her wish came true. Because of him, she could redo her life.
But that lifetime's fate was just too short. A beautiful fate that made one look forward to it was halted due to fate's teasing. What was pitiful was that the short-lived fate continued even with this chance of a lifetime.
There was no need to mention any questions that were not asked. Many things, including questions and answers, had vanished at that moment.
Past fate was the result of future results.
Shen Miao slowly opened her eyes.
The skies had cleared up after the rain, and a delicate scent sachet was hanging from the corner of the mosquito net. The sachet was most likely to dilute the bitter aroma of medication. A more intriguing scent was revealed after the scent and medication were mixed.
Shen Miao looked up beside her.
The young male leaned at the head of the bed, one hand tightly holding hers. His eyes were closed, and his chin had a slight stubble. Even though it was not obvious, his appearance differed from usual.
His hand was distinctively defined, slender, and warm. It was the right size to cover her entire hand. Shen Miao only moved slightly, and Xie Jingxing woke up.
Seeing her opening her eyes, Xie Jingxing was startled for a while and seemed unable to react. After pausing, he uttered, "You woke up."
Shen Miao nodded her head.
"Do you feel unwell anywhere?" Xie Jingxing asked closely. "Let Gao Yang come in to take a look."
He usually had an appearance of laziness that no matter what could enter his heart, but this time, there was a rare anxiousness on his face. Shen Miao said, "There is no need. I am fine." She then asked, "How is Pie Xiānshēng?"
Xie Jingxing's face turned black in a moment.
When Shen Miao saw that his face had changed, she was stunned before she immediately understood. However, she did not know how to explain it. Was Pei Lang detestable? Naturally, he was detestable. In the past lifetime, he took her fingertip blood for Mei Fūrén, and even though one did not know if Mei Fūrén's 'changing of one's fate' was real or not, one felt that it psychologically helped and that the sentence of 'cut the weeds and eliminate the roots' to Fu Xiuyi had indirectly led to Fu Ming's end.
Shen Miao had complicated feelings for Pei Lang. She could ignore herself, but the matter concerned Fu Ming, which made her unable to forgive him. However, in the end, Pei Lang used his life to give her an opportunity for rebirth.
One could not speak clearly of one's feelings as one could not be purely grateful or simply hate a person. One thing that could only be done was to draw a line in the relationship. Shen Miao did not want to have any relations of 'owing' or 'being owed'. The matters of the past ended, but in this lifetime, she did not want to owe Pei Lang anything and did not want to be owed by Pei Lang. She remembered clearly that when the childlike assassin attacked, it was Pei Lang who took the most serious stab. If Pei Lang died because of her, then in these two lifetimes, their relationship would not be able to be calculated cleanly.
However, after seeing Xie Jingxing's expression, Shen Miao knew he had misunderstood. When Xie Jingxing became angry because of these things, Shen Miao felt he was similar to the little wolf-dog raised in the Luo army.
She quickly stroked this little wolf-dog and said, "He saved my life and is, after all, one's benefactor. Without any rhyme or reason, one cannot smoothly accept this type of kindness from others."
Only then did Xie Jingxing's expression improve, "Gao Yang had taken a look. He woke up once yesterday night. His life is indeed thick." He then looked at Shen Miao, "But you did not wake up. If you had not woken up, I planned to bash that Taoist Priest's head in."
"Taoist Priest?" Shen Miao was startled, "Are you referring to Chi Yan, Taoist Priest?"
"What Taoist Priest or not." Xie Jingxing said with disdain, "He is only a swindler who earns other's money." The so-called 'Taoist Priest Chi Yan' had bid farewell to the residence of Prince Rui this morning and even took a good-grade antique vase along, saying that it was a thank-you gift. One did not know how a Taoist Priest who schemes for a fortune would be a Superior One.
When Shen Miao finished listening to Xie Jingxing's story of that Taoist Priest taking a vase away, there were some doubts in her heart. The long dream had resolved many of her doubts, but they might not have been real. It was just that Shen Miao did not know why, but she felt that everything that happened in the dream was a complete story of her last lifetime.
She indeed encountered that priest on the journey back to Ming Qi from Qin country. She thought he was a refugee who had escaped and was dressed as a Taoist Priest for survival. After all, she was a daughter raised by Shen Xin and had some kindness in her heart, so she gave the other party a bowl of water to drink and did not expect that so many things were involved.
If she had really listened to that Taoist Priest in her last lifetime and did not return to Ding capital city, there would likely not be such tragedy later. But if one had an opportunity to repeat it, even though one knew it was a route of no return to the Underworld, she would not choose the alternative because her pair of children were deep in the palace.
But that Taoist Priest fulfilled a fate.
Shen Miao remembered it very clearly.
All of her things that were left behind were burnt. If there wasn't the red string on Xie Jingxing's hand, one feared that she would have disappeared from the world.
That red string had protected her some misery and in all those days that one could not live on, Shen Miao's soul inhabited in the red string around Xie Jingxing's wrist and muddledly passed one life.
Until the day that the city was broken.
She saw that Fu Chen had died at the hands of his own people and saw Mei Fūrén and Fu Xiuyi tied up and displayed on the city tower, watched as both of them had tens of thousands of arrows pierced into their hearts and died, and watched as the countless fires burnt down the palace that she had hated her entire life and razed it to a pile of ashes. The unfulfilled desire in her heart disappeared, and at that moment, her soul finally found complete peace.
The red string was severed. She could let it go. At the expense of Pei Lang's life, time was reversed, and she regained her life.
Xie Jingxing saw Shen Miao not speaking and asked with a frown, "What is wrong?"
Shen Miao recovered to her senses and did not speak as she looked at him.
She was somewhat touched. She was saying that there was no interaction between Xie Jingxing and herself in her past life time so why would they be mistakenly tied together and one would not be able to get out? So it was that there was some entanglement in the past lifetime. Initially, Xie Jingxing owed her a wish but it was just a joke. One did not expect that he would keep his promise and personally end Fu Xiuyi and Mei Fūrén and avenged her.
She said softly, "Xie Jingxing, do you have any wishes?"
Xie Jingxing took a glance at her, "Why? You want to accomplish it for me?"
"I can give you a wish, " she said thoughtfully. As long as I can accomplish it, I will definitely give my all."
She had a solemn expression, which caused Xie Jingxing to cast a sidelong glance. However, in a short moment, his lips were hooked up, and he said, in a smile, but not a smile, "Good." He then approached Shen Miao's ears and said softly, "My wish… You can definitely accomplish it."
Shen Miao asked, "What is it?"
"Give birth to a baby for me." He spoke lightly.
Shen Miao looked at him for a while, and Xie Jingxing touched his nose. Just as he was about to speak, he heard Shen Miao answer, "All right."
Xie Jingxing was stunned.
Shen Miao stared at him, and there was a smile on her lips that was different from usual. It was not the kind that was put on display or a little reserved or somewhat lazy. It was as if she was sincere; there was even a touch of gentleness.
Xie Jingxing unconsciously touched her forehead, "You are indeed sick."
Shen Miao pushed his hands away and said, "Xie Jingxing, you must have been terrified on your birthday."
Xie Jingxing released his hands, and seeing that her expression was calm and nothing strange, he felt relief. He followed her topic of conversation and asked, "What do you think? I even thought…" He did not continue speaking.
Even upon recalling that scene, Xie Jingxing could not help but feel scared. Shen Miao was lying in a pool of blood and seemed to be unconscious as if she would not wake up again. His heart seized and stopped, even when he brought the Xie family army to the Northern Jiang's battlefield for the first time; even if someone was scheming in the dark and his life and death were unclear, he was not as fearful as he was currently.
He also had things he was fearful of, people he was afraid of losing, and weakness. These three things were all the same: this person in front.
"I will make up of it." Shen Miao said, "Has your birthday long passed? Why not one make it up for you today?"
Xie Jingxing looked at her unfathomably and said, "I appreciate your kindness. Your health has not recovered yet, so don't torment yourself."
"It is only a superficial wound." Shen Miao instead took the initiative to say, "Let's go out."
She behaved somewhat abnormally after she woke up. First, Shen Miao was not a playful person, and second, she seemed to be much more intimate than she was before. Her previous temperament was somewhat restrained, and even though one did not know why she was used to putting it up, Shen Miao had a big ego; otherwise, she would not have been in a cold war with Xie Jingxing for that long. For her to take the initiative and fawn surprised Xie Jingxing.
He squinted his eyes and asked, "Did you do something behind my back?"
"En." Shen Miao nodded her head seriously.
"Is it related to Pei Lang?" Xie Jingxing's expression got cold.
Shen Miao took a deep breath. She felt that one could not indulge in this conduct of Xie Jingxing. Just what was he thinking? After resuming her usual look, she asked, "Are you going?"
Before Xie Jingxing could speak about her changing temperament, a voice from behind said, "Go then."
Gao Yang walked in and looked at Shen Miao, "One heard that you woke up and came over to take a look. Originally, that wound was superficial and did not affect any internal functions. It is alright." He then told Xie Jingxing, "It is also good for you to have some activity with your body as you have been guarding in the room and have not even gone out to the sun. The weather is good today. It is alright as long one does not return late."
Afterwards, he picked his medical box in the room and left.
Xie Jingxing and Shen Miao looked at one another in silence. After half a moment Xie Jingxing smiled, "What do you want to play?"
"Ever since one came to Long Ye, one has not gone out for a walk." Shen Miao said, "I am not too familiar with Long Ye, so accompany me to walk around and talk to me about things here." Shen Miao suddenly remembered something and said, "Oh, right. That day, when I was at the pavilion outside Bi Xiu Luo, I instructed Ba Jiao to buy some fireworks, which were most likely still there. Bring all of them along."
"Watch what fireworks in broad daylight?" Xie Jingxing stared at her, "Is your head also injured?"
Shen Miao asked in reply, "Have you seen fireworks during the day?"
Xie Jingxing said, "Whoever is silly would have seen it."
"I have seen it before." Shen Miao replied.
Xie Jingxing stared at her in doubt.
"Fireworks at night are good to look at, but they would not be inferior during the day. Since you have not seen it, I will bring you to take a look." Shen Miao smiled gently and wanted to get out of bed. However, she had been lying on the bed for these few days, and her legs had become stiff. Thus, it was so painful to get out like this that she took a deep breath of cold air.
"Will you?" Shen Miao could tell from his expression that he did not have good intentions.
Xie Jingxing said, "Beg me, and I will help you." He leaned over as if to listen carefully to how Shen Miao would give in.
Shen Miao felt that Xie Jingxing's temperament was really unpredictable. There were obviously some overbearing points, and when he was a youth, he had a scheming and calculative mind that adults could hardly match, but currently, he looked more like a youth who liked to play tricks and tease others.
She stared at Xie Jingxing's flamboyant side view, and her heart moved before she directly kissed Xie Jingxing's cheek.
Xie Jingxing was stunned, and Shen Miao diverted her gaze and looked at the sachet hanging from the head of the bed.
"Shen Miao." Xie Jingxing frowned at her, "You are seriously ill. Gao Yang has to come over to take a look." He was about to leave when Shen Miao panicked and stopped him, "Xie Jingxing."
He paused and turned his head, but his expression was mischievous. Shen Miao knew that she had been fooled and felt regretful in her heart, but after seeing Xie Jingxing laughing out loud and suddenly walking up to pick her up, she unconsciously threw her arms around his neck.
Xie Jingxing carried her like that out the door, causing all the servants in the residence of Prince Rui to look at them. In Shen Miao's previous lifetime, she had never been so unbridled and intimate with a male. No matter if it were in the residence of Prince Ding or the Inner Palace, she would have the manner of an Empress, and even if it was Mei Fūrén, she was also not carried by Fu Xiuyi in front of so many people. If so, the reputation of a fatuous Monarch and disastrous beauty would be solidified.
Was it that her previous lifetime was a dignified and solemn Empress, and she would have a reputation of a disastrous beauty this lifetime? Xie Jingxing was quite like a fatuous Monarch. Shen Miao was thinking nonsense when her eyes swept over the servants covering their mouths, snickering, and she got annoyed. She pinched Xie Jingxing and said, "What are you doing? Quickly let me down."
"Oh? Know how to be shy?" Xie Jingxing raised his eyebrows as he spoke, and his tone made one feel like beating him up. He continued, "One does not know who was it just now who wanted to destroy my innocence in broad daylight…"
He actually used the words 'destroying innocence in broad daylight'. Shen Miao worked hard to calm her emotions.
However, Luo Tan came over. Luo Tan most likely did not expect to see such a scene. Even though she was usually open-minded, she was a young lady and thus instantly became somewhat uncomfortable. Shen Miao let Xie Jingxing put her down, and Luo Tan did not know where to fix her gaze, so Shen Miao said, "These days have also been difficult for you."
"It is not difficult. Not difficult." Luo Tan waved her hands continuously as she was a little scared seeing Xie Jingxing at the side. Previously, she was wholeheartedly venting on Shen Miao's behalf and raged at Xie Jingxing but afterwards became regretful. The other party had power, held a high position, and was even Prince Rui of First Rank in Great Liang. Her offence would be more significant if he were to lash out at Shen Miao. Upon seeing that Shen Miao and Xie Jingxing were intimate, it seemed there were no quarrels, and she could not help but feel gratitude in her heart.
"Oh yes." Luo Tan suddenly remembered something, took something from her sleeves, and placed it in Shen Miao's hands. "This is what Taoist Priest Chi Yan passed to me before he left, and he had instructed me to pass it on to you, indicating that it is a parting gift for you."
That was a small wooden box with a carving that looked like a chicken and a snake, so Luo Tan said, "One does not know why there is a need to carve a chicken and snake."
Shen Miao, "…" She then said, "This is a dragon and phoenix."
Taoist Priest Chi Yan's carving was not flattering, and if Shen Miao did not understand, one feared she would not be able to see that it was a dragon and phoenix. Luo Tan choked on it as Shen Miao opened the wooden box and removed two red strings.
"This…" Luo Tan said, "These are just two red strings. There is nothing special, but he said it so strangely that one thought it was something valuable. It is better to send some herbs over. That Taoist Priest is sure stingy. He obviously has an entire valley of herbs but was only gifted with this."
However, Shen Miao was staring at the strings, her gaze slightly swaying.
She had gotten a red string from the Taoist Priest in her previous lifetime, which accompanied her for several years before landing in Xie Jingxing's hands. Later, her soul inhabited the red string and became the medium that connected her previous lifetime to Xie Jingxing.
Suddenly, she felt that this red string was somewhat close and dear.
She brought her hand out and tied the red string onto her hand. Luo Tan saw her movement and was shocked, "You… Xiǎo biǎomèi, it cannot be that you want to wear this?"
Shen Miao looked satisfied at the red string tied around her hand and picked the other one before speaking to Xie Jingxing, "Stretch your hand out."
Xie Jingxing said, "I am not wearing it."
"Stretch your hand out." Shen Miao repeated.
Xie Jingxing looked at her incredulously, "I am a man."
"This can ensure safety." Shen Miao said casually, "If you and I wear this when you are in danger, I will know. And when I am in danger, you will also feel it."
Luo Tan stood at the side and asked weakly, "Really… That great?"
Shen Miao did not care whether it was that great or not. She felt that Taoist Priest Chi Yan was very capable, so the things he gave should be very valuable. If it were indeed, as Luo Tan said, these would just be two red strings, but these things had profound meaning to her. Their significance was more memorable than the value of gold and silver.
After Xie Jingxing heard that, he no longer refused. Even though he was disgusted, he still allowed Shen Miao to tie that red string at his wrist and tied a tight knot around it.
Luo Tan watched on, her jaws dropping. Xie Jingxing was a manly man and an elegant and noble Prince Rui, but there was such a plaything on his hand. This made him look as good-looking as in paintings. Never mind that it was feminine; the most important thing was that this red string did not look expensive and was out of place with his outstanding appearance.
"Done."
Xie Jingxing retrieved his hand back and adjusted his sleeves so that the red conspicuous colour is blocked.
Luo Tan said, "Alright, the things are sent over, and seeing that you both seem to have something on, I will not bother and leave first." She then winked at Shen Miao and dragged out her tone: "I am relieved that Xiǎo biǎomèi is well." She then left with a trace of smoke.
Shen Miao, "…"
Xie Jingxing said, "Let's go and watch fireworks."
The servants in the residence of Prince Rui, "…"
Cong Yang asked Tie Yi softly, "It is Fūrén, who is clearly ill. So why is Zhǔzi's brain affected? It is a bright, clear day, so watch what fireworks?"
Tie Yi handled him a broom expressionlessly, "Sweep the floor."
-----------------
In Wei Yang Palace, Empress Xian De was leaning against the couch, reading. She read leisurely as she listened to the palace maids speak. Then, she put the book down, and her expression seemed gratified. "It is good that there is no issue. There is always something happening these days, and Běngōng even plans to burn some incense and pray for blessings."
Shen Miao's assignation attempt was hidden from outsiders but was not concealed from Emperor Yong Le and Empress Xian De. Even Gao Yang had no alternatives, much less the Imperial Physicians in the Palace. Speaking of which, it was truly strange these days as accidents happened continuously at the residence of Prince Rui. First, it was Xie Jingxing, and when Xie Jingxing just escaped from a catastrophe, it was Shen Miao's turn. Fortunately, Shen Miao was awake, and one heart could set down like a rock.
Empress Xian De put the book down and no longer had the mood to read. She stood up and walked over to the windows. The rain had fallen yesterday night, and today, the weather was good. Other than the falling leaves blown off the plum trees, there were no traces of yesterday night's great winds.
She mumbled to herself, "Long Ye is not peaceful either."
The wind sweeping through the tower heralds a rising storm in the mountains. The residence of Prince Rui, such an impenetrable place, could have had two accidents after Xie Jingxing's return to Great Liang, and it could only have been a message. Since Xie Jingxing returned to Daliang, there have been two incidents. This was a message. It could be a warning, or maybe it's a counterattack.
Because Emperor Yong Le had started to take action with the Lu family.
Tao Gūgū was the female official that was by Empress Xian De's side. Ever since Empress Xian De became the Empress, she had always been by her side and after so many years, she was the most loyal confidant of Empress Xian De.
Tao Gūgū said, "Today Jing Fēi went to the Imperial Study to look for Bìxià. When she went over, her eyes were full of tears and when she left, she did not seem well. The palace maid in Jing Hua Palace said that upon returning, Jing Fēi Niángniáng had punished a number of servants and even smashed a lot of things, seemingly in a bad mood."
Empress Xian De smiled gently, "The Lu family had suffered a disadvantage and also want to test Bìxià's attitude so naturally one would start from Jing Fēi's side. A few days before, didn't Lu Fūrén even enter the Palace to visit Jing Fēi?"
"Huáng seemed no longer treat Jing Fēi Niángniáng patiently." Tao Gūgū said, "These days, Jing Fēi Niángniáng has restrained her attitude towards you. If Huáng really take action towards the Lu family, at Jing Fēi's side…"
"Let Huáng decide everything." Empress Xian De said faintly, "Be it sincerity or fake emotions, Běngōng cannot see all these things clearly. In the beginning, when one entered the Palace, one understood these principles." She looked at the worried Tao Gūgū and smiled, "Do you think that Běngōng would still care about all these?"
Tao Gūgū no longer spoke.
Empress Xian De looked outside again, "Ever since Běngōng became Huánghòu, one had not regarded oneself as a woman. The Emperor's wife is not a wife and has to bear the weight of the people under Heavens with him, accompanying them in fortune and disasters and sharing life and death. Běngōng has never been afraid. Běngōng only felt somewhat regretful…" She looked at her abdomen, "Běngōng… Is not able to give birth to one's own child."
HidAnas: The original phrase was 帝王的妻子 Dìwáng de qīzǐ, which means the Emperor's wife. I wanted to use Pinyin for the translation, but it might confuse some readers, so I'm keeping it in English for ease.
"In the beginning, if Jing Fēi Niángniáng…" Tao Gūgū gritted her teeth and spoke with some resentment and heartache in her voice.
"Never mind." Empress Xian De waved her hands tiredly and smiled, but that smile showed a hint of numbness. "With or without Jing Fēi, it would be the same. Ultimately, Běngōng would not be able to give birth to this child." She said softly, "Take a look at the Inner Palace. Who has been able to give birth to his child?"
"None, and it is impossible. So, although Běngōng has some regrets, the women in this Inner Palace are all regretful, so the regret that Běngōng feels is no longer a regret. At least Běngōng still has this unshakable position." she said.