As the sun headed west, Shen Miao and Xie Jingxing were walking back to the residence.
Great Liang was more open-minded and enjoyed more freedom than in Ming Qi; thus, it was common for husbands and wives to be seen in the streets. However, because Xie Jingxing was too famous, almost everyone in Long Ye knew him, and he was surrounded by surprised eyes wherever he went.
Some time ago, it was rumoured that Rui Qīnwángfēi and Rui Qīnwáng were not on good terms and that their relationship was as cold as ice. Now that they were seen travelling together, the rumour was self-defeating. If it was true that the two of them were estranged from each other as rumoured, how could they travel so intimately? One did not know which family was spouting nonsense.
It was the first time Shen Miao had come out to walk around like this since she came to Long Ye. Xie Jingxing was very familiar with this place, and she was walking and buying. She was not a person who was greedy for novelty. Today, perhaps, she was influenced by Luo Tan. She bought a carriage full of things of all sizes. The two bought in the front, and Tie Yi and Cong Yang paid the bills in the back. Even so, Xie Jingxing still felt that Shen Miao was a little strange and looked at her suspiciously occasionally along the way. But Shen Miao felt that she was more relaxed than ever before.
It was like she had experienced a dream that undoubtedly unravelled the anger and hatred of her past life. Naturally, enmity would have to be avenged, but it was not just for revenge in this rebirth of a lifetime. Those stars that shimmered in the dark years made her feel that she was not only left with bad experiences in her previous lifetime. As for this lifetime, it was even more precious.
Now, she is braver, more determined, and more frank than before. She can face her feelings uprightly, and she can also embrace a new life warmly. After all, this her is an entirely different person from the previous her. She was so relaxed and smiled from beginning to end, just like a child looking at these things with new eyes. She even told Xie Jingxing, "Long Ye and Ding capital city are really different. One thinks that the different regions of Great Liang have their own uniqueness. If there is such a day when one could travel to the famous mountains and rivers to look at the different scenery, it would be great."
Xie Jingxing smiled, "What is so difficult with it?"
"It is easier said than done." Shen Miao said, "Sometimes, one admires those who live by the rivers and lakes. There are no worries and troubles, and there are also no unscrupulous things. The experiences would be exciting."
Xie Jingxing looked at her thoughtfully.
Shen Miao said, "What are you looking at me for?"
His lips raised, and he took Shen Miao's hands. He smiled, "After Ming Qi's and Great Liang's matters are done, I will take you wherever you want."
Shen Miao smiled at him, "Is this the wish you give me in return?"
Xie Jingxing was slightly in a daze. Thinking about the wish that Shen Miao spoke of when she woke up, a smug smile suddenly appeared on his face as he said, "You kept on reminding me of that wish today. Could it be that because the two-month period was over and you want…"
Shen Miao turned around and left, "I did not think about anything."
Cong Yang and Tie Yi were following behind. Cong Yang looked embarrassed, and Tie Yi's dark face reddened as both expressed that they were not waiting to see it. It was naturally good when both masters had good relations, but it was simply abuse for them to serve them.
It was better to guard the tower prison.
When the moon gradually rose, there were fewer people on the streets. Shen Miao and Xie Jingxing had shopped for an entire day and felt tired. It was rare that she was that excited; thus, Xie Jingxing accompanied her. Seeing both of them returning with an atmosphere of ease, Jing Zhe and Gu Yu were relieved.
Xie Jingxing wanted to bathe, so Shen Miao returned to her room. Jing Zhe had already brought over the hot water and said, "Fūrén should bathe first. The little kitchen has already prepared food, which can be eaten afterwards. It must be tiring after an entire day."
Shen Miao complied. The bathing water was so warm and comfortable that it made one groggy and sleepy. She lay on the bed as Gu Yu waited by the side, saying, "Núbì had not seen Fūrén laugh like this for a long time."
Shen Miao recovered to her senses. She laughed very often, but most likely after staying in the Inner Palace for a long time, with the logic that even if one lost, one could not lose one's position; even if one's road were dark or no matter how unfavourable the situation was, one would first display a gentle smile. If the enemy saw one's gentle smile, they could not guess what one was thinking. Even if it did not confuse the enemy, it was good to make the other feel disgusted.
Since her rebirth, she has become accustomed to this look, but that smile was subconsciously put on, not sincere. How could it be the same as a smile from the heart?
Currently, her eyes were bent, like they were filled with satisfaction and as warm as warm jade, making her beautiful face more attractive. One was unable to peel their eyes off.
Jing Zhe noticed the red string around Shen Miao's wrist. When Luo Tan gave the red strings to Shen Miao, Jing Zhe was not aware of it, so upon seeing it, she was curious: "Is Fūrén's red string newly bought on the streets? It is indeed unique but does not match one's clothes."
Gu Yu also saw it and smiled, "Didn't Pu Tuo Monastery sell such red strings? One copper coin for a string. It is said that this is to seek marriage."
Jing Zhe smiled, "A marriage is only worth a copper coin? It's really too cheap." She was somewhat curious, "Fūrén doesn't believe in such things the most, so why buy it? However, speaking of it, if Diànxià saw this string, one feared that he would not be happy as he would think that Fūrén had become Wángfēi already, so why seek marriage?" Jing Zhe had a lively personality and now learnt Xie Jingxing's dissatisfied expression, making Shen Miao and Gu Yu laugh.
Gu Yu scolded while smiling, "Rascal. Is Diànxià someone you can joke about?"
Shen Miao waved her hands, "Later, instruct people to place the food in Xie Jingxing's room."
They slept in separate rooms, so Xie Jingxing had his own bed chambers. Jing Zhe was startled, but she then smiled and said, "Fūrén wants to have a meal with Diànxià." She could not help but be happy for Shen Miao. When Shen Miao and Xie Jingxing slept separately, these maids saw it but did not know how to persuade them. After suffering such catastrophe, they did not think their feelings had improved by leaps and bounds. It was indeed a blessing in disguise.
Shen Miao said, "This string is very spiritual."
"Oh?" Gu Yu looked strangely at Shen Miao, not knowing why she suddenly said those words.
However, Shen Miao just looked at the string and sighed softly. This time, her eyes were relaxed.
This day was bound to come, and unlike previous ones, her worries were different. This time, she was already fully prepared. This lifetime differed from the last, be it people or events, so she would still be filled with expectations, but she would not put all her future on one person.
Growth and becoming someone who could fight by one's side were equally influential. It was simply protecting the things that one wanted to protect and resolving feuds that one should resolve.
She instructed Jing Zhe to bring a handkerchief over and said, "Help me to style my hair."
*****
Xie Jingxing put on his clothes and walked out.
He bathed for a long time, and the water was somewhat cooled. When he was alone, his face did not have a lazy smile; on the contrary, it had an indifferent expression that one could not see clearly at night. He was not a warm person, and his appearance of trifling without respect evoked a faint ridicule of the world.
Just as he went out, he saw a few delicate dishes and snacks in the middle of the room.
Xie Jingxing's brows wrinkled. "Tie Yi." He was not used to having a meal in the room. He liked cleanliness and was very structured and orderly in private. The bed chamber was a place to sleep, and the hall was used to have a meal.
After calling out a few times, there was no response, until the door suddenly opened with a bang, and Shen Miao came in hugging a wine jar.
That wine jar was so big, and she wobbled as she carried it. Xie Jingxing went forward to help her and placed it on the table before he asked, "What are you doing?"
Shen Miao said, "I have searched your warehouse for a long time and found this earthen jar. It is likely Shi Zhou Xiang. Most likely, it is of some years, so one carried it out."
Zaza: Shi Zhou Xiang direct translation: Scent that can be smelt in ten provinces
Xie Jingxing paused and opened the jar. Indeed, a mellow fragrance of a wine whiff passed. He smiled and said, "It is amazing that you could recognise Shi Zhou Xiang. Tang Shu did not stop you?"
Shi Zhou Xiang was a highly regarded wine. It was so priceless that even if one had money, it was difficult to procure. There were only three jars in Prince Rui's residence, and Shen Miao took one away. Coincidentally, this jar was about fifty years old. One feared that Tang Shu would be so heartbroken that he would cry silently.
Shen Miao smiled, "I even drank it before."
Xie Jingxing was suspicious, "Drank it before?"
Shen Miao did not continue speaking. When she was an Empress, there was no wine she had not drunk at the Palace Banquet before. Even though one jar of Shi Zhou Xiang was precious, it was not to a level that she would view it in a different light. However, she had been an Empress but was blinded by so many things that she did not care too much about these things. However, in regular and even official families, an official would not have an opportunity to have a mouthful of Shi Zhou Xiang even after exhausting one's entire life.
Shen Miao patted her head. "It seemed that one had forgotten to bring the wine cups." Her eyes landed on the bowls used for rice, and she simply took over two and poured two full bowls out.
Xie Jingxing looked at her incredulously and questioned, "Shen Miao, are you an alcoholic?"
"I am here to accompany you to eat." Shen Miao said, "How can there be no wine with dishes?"
Xie Jingxing folded his arms, looked at her for a while, and suddenly remembered a matter before saying, "I almost forgot if you hadn't mentioned it. On that day in Bi Xiao Lou, you drank a bowl of wine in front of so many people… Shen Jiao Jiao, in the future, you have to pay attention to the norms of propriety."
When she drank wine, she was incredibly charming and had an elegant bearing that, at that moment, made everyone unable to turn their eyes away. The numerous eyes of all those men in Bi Xiao Luo are all on her, and at that time, Xie Jingxing was sulking badly. If he did not care about his status, one feared that he would have carried Shen Miao and left.
He was tempted to teach his little wife, "In the future, don't drink outside, and if there is a need to drink, I have to be present. Even if I am present, you cannot drink too much, especially in front of others… Shen Jiao Jiao, are you listening to me?"
Shen Miao put down the bowl. She had just swallowed a big mouthful of Shi Zhou Xiang, and her throat was on fire, so much so that tears were about to be spilt. The entire mouthful went down her stomach and made it warm and refreshed. She praised, "It is indeed Shi Zhou Xiang."
Xie Jingxing said, "Are you disregarding me now?"
Shen Miao glanced at him, "Are you not drinking?" She then picked up the wine bowl to drink.
Xie Jingxing said, "Hey! Are you going to be a drunkard at my place tonight? Shi Zhou Xiang is not supposed to be drunk like this. You are being like a cow chewing on Peonies."
Shen Miao squinted at him, "No one dared to say I am a cow chewing on Peonies."
Xie Jingxing, "…"
He had always felt that Shen Miao was a completely different person when she drank, like she was when the Shen family left Ding capital city all those years ago, before he headed to Northern Jiang. Could it be that another person was living in Shen Miao and would only be unleashed when she drank? Xie Jingxing was really puzzled. Although she was usually a cautious person, once she was drunk, she would do things without any reason and might even do something incredulous.
He had felt that the arrogance of the Shen family's military lineage would only be reflected in Shen Miao after she drank.
Shen Miao handed Xie Jingxing a large bowl of wine and said, "You drink, too."
Xie Jingxing looked at her unfathomably, but Shen Miao stubbornly reached her hand out so he could only sit at the table. He took the bowl of wine and slowly sipped it.
Shen Miao stared at him. Indeed, when Xie Jingxing drank, it was not like her, a cow chewing on Peonies, but drinking in sips, like a wine expert. She watched and held her bowl to drink it off.
Xie Jingxing only drank a few mouthfuls when he saw Shen Miao bringing the bowl up and wiping her mouth as if she were a soldier of Shen Xin's drinking. He said, "You have finished drinking?"
Shen Miao coughed lightly twice, "I have something to tell you."
Xie Jingxing glanced at her before looking back at the bright amber wine in his bowl, "To need alcohol to boost up one's courage to speak to me, is it that you have committed some errs behind my back?"
"Did you not ask me what my secret is previously?" Shen Miao said, "There is no need to exchange it with your secrets. I will tell you."
Xie Jingxing's movements paused as he looked up at her.
"Do you want to listen?" She asked him.
Xie Jingxing put down the bowl of wine and said, "How does it sound like you are giving me a disadvantage?"
"Then I will take it as you want to know, and I will tell you." Shen Miao ignored his words and only cared about her words.
"Don't you feel strange ever since you knew me? Those words that I sent to Su Minglang and the actions taken against Yu Qīnwáng? I seemed to have known earlier about the existence of Feng Xian Pawnshop and about the Second and Third households of the Shen family. You are also very curious as to why I always targeted Ding Wáng, as it was obvious that one still admired Ding Wáng before, and it was too much love to turn to hate."
All the things that she spoke of were all that Xie Jingxing had doubts about.
Shen Miao said, "At the beginning, you must be very vigilant against me and would have instructed people to investigate me secretly."
There was a somewhat uncomfortable expression on Xie Jingxing's face. After all, as Shen Miao said, he instructed people to investigate Shen Miao's background.
"You did not find anything and thought that there was some intelligent person behind me, or to say that there is some expert making arrangements behind the Shen family."
Xie Jingxing was silent. Ji Yu Shu's Feng Xian Pawnshop could detect many unknown secrets of others, but for Shen Miao, it was like an immovable stone. No matter how they lifted it, they could not find a place to start.
"Even though you cannot find out my background, you must have investigated everything I have experienced in those past years. You should also know that before my Diēniáng returned to Ding capital city in the sixty-eighth year of Ming Qi, I fell into the water due to a problem related to Ding Wáng. After falling into the water, my temperament seemed to have changed. For example, previously, I used to be obsessed with Ding Wáng, but after that, I no longer showed any thoughts about Ding Wáng."
A hint of annoyance showed up in Xie Jingxing's eyes. Once, Shen Miao's admiration for Fu Xiuyi left him perplexed since he couldn't understand it. He would almost have assumed that Shen Miao was acting if it weren't something that the whole city knew about. When it came to looks, skill, and prestige, Fu Xiuyi was exceptional, but not to the extent that there was no room for comparison. In fact, Shen Miao's love could reach the point of obsessiveness that it rendered him speechless and somewhat humiliated. This was simply too derogatory when he compared himself to that hypocritical individual, Fu Xiuyi.
"After I fell into the water, there was some estrangement between me and the Second and Third households of the Shen family, and I was no longer as friendly towards Shen Qing and Shen Yue. One even seemed to be going against Old Shen Fūrén." Shen Miao said, "Don't you find it strange?"
Xie Jingxing said, "There is always a time when people will wake up."
Previously, Shen Miao was confused, and that was because of her young age. She was only confused for a period of time, perhaps after knowing the truth about certain matters or something else happened that made one grow up overnight, just like him.
Shen Miao shook his head, "That was because I have awakened too thoroughly. Actually, it is straightforward. When I fell into the water in the sixty-eighth year of Ming Qi, I laid in bed and did not wake up for a long time, and during those days, I had a very long dream." She looked at the dancing flame on the table, and a sigh of sorrow appeared in her eyes and expression, "That dream was very long and very real like I am experiencing it myself."
"Could you believe in those kinds of dreams?" Shen Miao smiled, "It was like a prophecy."
Xie Jingxing's eyebrows gradually rose, and his gaze on Shen Miao became sharp.
"It is rumoured that a Governor of a Southern Nation was napping under a tree and dreamt that he was Huáng; from the flower falling till it landed on the soil, he had experienced an entire life and suddenly woke up, realising that it was only a moment. Everything in the dream was just an illusion of wealth and glory. It was just that it was so real that one could not differentiate whether the dream was real or the current reality was real."
"This dream of mine is even longer and more suffering than the story of Governor of a Southern Nation. I had dreamt of the future." She said.
"I dreamed that I had finally married into the residence of Ding Wáng and that the Shen family was tied to the residence of Ding Wáng. I dreamed of the future disputes in court, the turmoil of the princes, and in the end, Fu Xiuyi was the final winner. He ascended to the throne, and I became the Empress and became the Mother of the nation. It was impressive."
Xie Jingxing's eyebrow rose again.
"You will most likely think this was a sweet dream, as I was obsessed with Fu Xiuyi, and my dream had such a happy ending. I also wished it was a happy dream, but this was the worst nightmare I have ever had."
"I gave birth to a son and daughter; they were the most sensible and adorable children in the world. Afterwards, Great Liang's power became stronger and stronger, and foreign nations were invading Ming Qi, so Ming Qi borrowed troops from Country Qin. Country Qin used me as a hostage, and I stayed in Country Qin for five years."
"That's how I encounter Huangfu Hao and Ming An." Shen Miao said.
Xie Jingxing's expression gradually became serious.
"I did not like the Imperial family of Country Qin as they constantly humiliated me. They invented a kind of archery and put fruit on my head, but always deliberately missed the target. Afterwards, I secretly practised archery, but no matter how well I practised, I would not shoot them on the second day."
"Five years quickly passed, and I returned to Ming Qi. There was one more favoured consort in the Palace of Ming Qi, Mei Fūrén. She gave birth to a son, Fu Chen."
"Fu Xiuyi favoured Mei Fūrén greatly and doted on Fu Chen. I was treated coldly. Even though I was the Huánghòu, I was secretly sneered at."
"Fu Xiuyi began to attack the Shen family. Although I was anxious, I could not intervene. My Dàgē's career was ruined because he tarnished Jing Chuchu's innocence. He was imprisoned for murder and finally became disabled and drowned in a pond. Niáng's illness worsened because of Chang Zaiqing, and she died of depression. Diē was getting older and older, and his military power was repossessed. He drank all day. The Second and Third households were promoted step by step and became increasingly powerful."
"I was fighting with Mei Fūrén in the Inner Palace, and no one spared the other. It was not that I was greedy for the position of the Huánghòu, but if I could not even keep this position, I would not be able to protect my children at all.
"In the end, I lost. The Shen family was destroyed, Wan Yu died on the journey to the Xiong Nu for a marriage alliance, and Fu Ming's position of the Tàizǐ was abolished, and he committed suicide. When I was in the Cold Palace, I was bestowed a white silk, and the eunuch strangled me personally. When I opened my eyes, I discovered that I was lying on the bed and had dreamt of a very, very long nightmare."
She spoke lightly and faintly of this shocking dream, but she had a misty smile on her face. Although the smile seemed to contain endless pain, it could not be spoken; thus, it was simply replaced with a smile.
Xie Jingxing did not speak.
She always referred to herself as 'Běngōng' when she was drunk, and Xie Jingxing always laughed at how deeply she schemed at such a young age. Occasionally, he would wonder why she was an abolished Empress. So, actually, it was like this…
Shen Miao said, "Do you believe in my dream?"
Xie Jingxing instead asked, "Do you believe it?"
Shen Miao smiled, "If I do not believe it, one feared what is standing before you today would be just a grave."
"After waking up, I feared everything in this dream would happen. I continued living as normal while trying to find clues to prove this was just a nightmare. However, the more I investigated, the more I found that it was not just a dream. The things in the dream were happening one by one."
"I reminded Su Minglang because the Su family would die shortly after due to the Emperor's jealousy. When the entire Su family was questioned and beheaded, only you went to collect the father and son's bodies. Without the lips, the teeth would feel cold. After the Su family, the next one is the Shen family. I was only trying to protect myself, thus the reminder to the Su family. However, you discovered me."
At that time, Xie Jingxing was suspicious of her because of Su Minglang's words and repeatedly probed. They confronted each other many times but did not know each other's thoughts.
"In that dream of yours, what kind of ending do I have?" Xie Jingxing stared at her and asked.
Shen Miao said, "You are outstanding."
"The Xie family gradually declined, and the Marquis of Lin'an died in battle. You went to war on behalf of your Fùqīn, and I heard that you died on the battlefield. However, many years later, you returned to Ming Qi as Rui Qīnwáng. "Shen Miao smiled slightly: "Then, you led the army to overthrow the Imperial Power."
Xie Jingxing frowned: "Is that so?"
"That's right." Shen Miao nodded.
"That's right," he raised his eyebrows: "I thought that in your dream, there would be something between you and me."
"Are you treating this as a dream? Or do you think that it is gibberish nonsense that I speak when drunk?" Shen Miao's gaze slightly darkened as she continued, "But it is also good like this. I would rather that it were just a dream."
"You may not believe some things spoken, but I truly saw Jing Chuchu, Cang Zaiqing and the rest. Before that, I had never seen them before. Because of the reminder of the nightmare, I guarded against them. Thinking about it, many matters were accomplished because of that dream."
Xie Jingxing smiled as he looked at her, and his smile was gentle and comforting. "You did well," he said.
"The things in the past have passed, and I always do my best to avoid the ending of that dream. But there was one thing. The two children in that dream are gone."
Xie Jingxing gently stroked the fingers holding the wine bowl, "We will have children, too."
Shen Miao took a deep breath and looked at him. "Now I have something to say, and you must listen clearly."
"In that dream, the Mei Fūrén that I fought for an entire lifetime, the new Tàizǐ's Mǔ fēi, who, in the end, controlled the court, was called Li Mei. She was the daughter of an official Fu Xiuyi encountered during an expedition to the East, who was charming and knew another's heart. Currently, I have re-encountered her. Are you not curious that I was cold towards you after you woke up after the Imperial Hunt? It was because, at that time, I was flustered as I had re-encountered Li Mei."
"Now she is called Ye Mei."
"Do you understand what I am saying?" She asked.
Xie Jingxing did not speak for a long time.
One did not know how long had passed when he looked at Shen Miao, "She is the enemy in your dreams?"
"I ended up hating her to the bones but could not end the enmity personally. In this lifetime's encounter, she had become the daughter that the Ye family of Long Ye had found. Xie Jingxing, I can tolerate my hatred, but there is one point that needs to be addressed. Ye Mei is not a kind-hearted person, as she would climb up the ladder by any means possible for the sake of power. She will not do anything unnecessary, and since the residence of Rui Qīnwáng has accepted her favour, one would become the knife in her hands. You have to guard against her."
Xie Jingxing picked up the wine bowl again and drank everything in it. Although he was smiling, his eyes were cold. "Ye Mei? Fu Xiuyi's way of seeing women has always been vulgar. I am different from him."
"Whether your dream is true or not." Xie Jingxing said: "The hatred in the dream is also hatred. He betrayed your feelings, which is unforgivable. Leave your hatred to me; I will avenge you." He interrupted Shen Miao's words: "Don't say you want to kill your enemies; you are my woman; your hatred is my hatred. You and I have countless enemies in this world; no distinction between you and me. If you meet my enemy one day and want to avenge me, it's considered even."
Shen Miao frowned, "You have enemies? Who is it?"
Xie Jingxing looked at her for a while and suddenly reached his hands out to stroke her head, "So adorable for believing everything one speaks of."
"Impudent." Shen Miao said.
When she drinks, she would habitually bring out the bearing of an Empress. Xie Jingxing paused in his action and Shen Miao was also startled a little. He stared at Shen Miao, "You still want to be an Huánghòu?"
"I do not want to have a second dream like that." Shen Miao said, "I do not want to be that kind of Huánghòu the second time."