Chereads / Black Realm / Chapter 6 - 1-4; Parts Of Me I Don't Know

Chapter 6 - 1-4; Parts Of Me I Don't Know

I landed in a small room. A VERY Small room. The only thing there was a painting on a canvas. Upon closer inspection, I realized that this painting was... me. Rather, a cute but creepy cartoonish version of me. No matter, for I was in a nice place... Secluded. Solitary. Isolated. Confined. Confinement. Perfect. Paradise. I've always enjoyed being... Alone. To a certain extent and time period, mind you. No one likes being totally alone all the time.

"I could... Get used to this place. No one here... Time to get my thoughts together." I stretched and smiled, but then...

"Look at you. Alone. Alone is what you will always be."

Startling. I didn't know who this was, but he had my voice, just a bit more hateful.

"Haha. Your idiocy is so very amusing... You sicken me, whelp."

Were these my thoughts? Sure, I had my negative thoughts when I was alone, but... The voices were never audible.

"I know what you're thinking. Ha, I AM you, but I hate you, though not as much as everyone else. I am one of your negative feelings turned real! I finally have my own will!"

As it spoke, I only looked around with a crazed shock. The room was too small for there to be anyone in here, and I couldn't drown this voice out with other thoughts!

"Where am I? Right in front of you. Heh heh, but you're too stupid to comprehend me."

I continued to look around frantically. I could feel the insanity rising inside of me, more than usual. My eyes wouldn't focus on one set target and both looked in two different directions at once.

"Fool, I am--"

I looked up.

"Here."

My eyes concentrated, glaring at the lone painting. "You." I said to it.

"That's right... Me. Do you know who I am?" it asked me.

I responded "You're me."

It became violent. Huge blades of paper stabbed at my body from the canvas, slicing up my flesh. "NO! I AM NOT JUST YOU!! I am your hate! Your fury! Your red hot anger! Your vengeance! Your destruction! Your Violence! All of those things and more are concentrated into me... Heh heh... And I love it!" The papers retracted back into a stack. The face of the drawing had changed significantly, as well. It was gloomy in appearance, bearing dark, soulless eye sockets with a malicious intent. Its clothing had become dark and tattered, yet it still had only nubs for arms and legs. It didn't move or change facial expression, but being near it, I could feel its hateful energies engulf my own.

"This room... Does it symbolize my closed off emotions?"

It laughed at me "Haha! You're getting warmer..."

I thought, inquired again "The feelings deep within myself?"

It laughed again "You're on fire! Come on, just a little more..."

I really couldn't think of much more than that... "... The feelings I love to express most?"

It almost turned over to a new sheet of paper "BINGO! You got it!! Was that so hard?"

My eyes darkened. "I know I don't feel just destructive and hateful emotions. That's a fact." I had to say that to it, or else... it might have come true.

"Psh. Of course not. To think that for a second makes you more stupid than I could imagine. Wretched boy. Look to that corner over yonder." It turned... somehow, and pointed to a corner of the room.

There were glowing eyes that I know for a fact were not there when I got here. There wasn't a door and nothing fell from the ceiling, so how...? The corner beast rose, I could tell from the eyes rising, then emerged from the shadows. It was a severely torn, ripped and stilled up doll that resembled myself.

"The hell...?"

Was all I could manage to get out. The mouth and right eye were sewn up loosely, so the eye was only partially open as well as the mouth. Its other eye was a deeeeep yellow color, very melancholy indeed, but at the same time, a bit scary. The doll looked similar to the drawing, only without clothing and it had pointed leg... nubs. It inched closer to us and with each step it took, it became more and more malformed than what I had interpreted before. The right arm sprouted one large claw finger from the index finger and the left arm expanded into a huge, rectangular nub at the forearm, more and more stitches appeared all over it and numerous colors contributed to its patchwork appearance. Not a single color on it was the same. The oddest part of it was the small spirit like sludge that attached itself to its ass... something of a parasite, one could say.

"What... What's that one? And by the way, what do I call you?"

The drawing turned back to me, "Insolent child, call me Hate. The doll, that is... Well. Let it explain itself."

The doll looked up, its forgotten eyes staring straight into mine, sending chills down my spine. It spoke in a low, depressing tone, softer than hate and filled with a lot more despair, "I am an enigmatic doll, the harvester of your forgotten emotions... Or, in other words, emotions that you don't know anymore." It pointed to itself with its long, single claw. "The further you veer from these emotions, the more deformed I get." The doll pointed to some of its colors, and in accordance to them, it listed, "Happiness, Childhood, Pep, Cheer, Recovery, Restedness... To name a few. These are things you have forgotten. You must become in tune with them, or else... I will continue to change into a hideous beast... Until my stable form is no more." It lowered its head and curled into a fetal position.

I blinked, once again, knowing that I had experienced these things before. Perhaps not on a daily basis, but I know I felt them.

The doll looked to me, "You don't understand what I mean by 'forgotten'? You don't experience them enough to know their true meaning, or you hide the true meaning... but perhaps the shadow can explain it better..." It brought its head down, returning to a lifeless position.

"The... Shadow? MY shadow?" I turned around and my shadow elongated as well as darkened, which was odd since there was no source of light whatsoever... It was actually puzzling how I could see myself. The shadow grew a fake, emotionless, slight smile on its face and 2 white, piercing circles appeared as eyes. I looked at it on the ground.

It said to me, "Hi. I am your shadow. I am pleased to be your friend." This one seemed nice.

"Gahahaha! The shadow of your true feelings! Your shadow which hides what you truly feel, or generates a shadow of your forgotten feelings. The only thing that makes you nice." Hate cackled at his words.

I swiftly turned, a bit enraged, "I do not shadow my niceness! I am a nice person when I feel the need to be!!"

Hate glared at me with an unchanging face, "But you still hide your true feelings and thoughts of people! All of the negative things you think, everything you want to say! Those times where you truly want to make your friends feel bad! The shadow is there to mask that." Hate then looked to the shadow, awaiting its response.

"True, it may not be everyone..." it said, "... But a great deal of people you are not true to because of your stability and trust with them... And you know how it will effect them. That is why I am here. To hide your true feelings, most being Hate, and keep everything peaceful. To project false happiness so all others will not question. Aren't I just dandy?"

I turned my head, not wanting to face the truth, only to be looking at Hate.

"Can't handle it, boy? Haha, and we still aren't done yet... Talk to your soul, child!!"

I was about to speak when something was caught in my throat. I coughed and hacked, finding it hard to breathe. I felt like I was dying. After forcefully inducing the Heimlich maneuver on myself, I coughed up a floating orb with a ghost-like tail. It wisped about, opening its eyes. A body grew from it, glowing in the same fashion as the head. It looked like it was wearing a flowing robe with tattered sleeves and a ghostly tail as a hem. It had lonesome eyes, no hands and no feet.

Just from its demeanor, I could already tell what this was. "Okay, let me guess, Sadness?"

My soul spoke, continuing the thought that I had finished, "Solitude. Loneliness. Despair. Pain. Agony. Misery. Heartbreak... and things of the like. I am the forlorn soul of you, one that wishes for solitude, but longs for another..."

Him speaking made me think. "Wait... You four... are manifestations of only negative things. Where is... the other one?"

Hate knew what was coming. "Yes, the other one. The one that has caused you so much misery and pain to the point where it's unbearable. The elusive and rare one that may be the only positive emotion other than fun filled happiness and friendship that can overpower us all in a heartbeat... The one I -- No, you hate most..."

My chest began to glow bright and felt really warm... It burst with a fiery explosion, leaving a gaping hole in my chest, being attracted to the center of the room undoubtedly.

"... Love."

Hate growled at the pulsating, bloody heart floating midair above them all. "Love, you act like you're so much better than the rest of us! Sealing us all away to the confinements of the inside of this child whenever he sees someone that he fancies? GAH!! I really do hate you most, you condescending asshat!!" Hate's papers rifled furiously, however the still beating, veiny, bloody heart did not seem moved by its words.

The heart floated near the Enigmatic Doll and whispered "With love comes happiness, whether it may be for a childhood memory, a video game or friendship..."

The doll raised its head, now staring with eyes of clarity and hope. Its deformities began to neutralize for the time being.

Love squirted heart juices all over the doll and moved onto the shadow. "You exist so that the boy does not hurt those he loves, not to trap anything and everything away and hide true feelings. You also exist for the boy's love of being mysterious and shrouded in the unknown."

The shadow shed one white tear that did not leave its eyes and that false smile turned into a frown of regret. The shadow retracted into an oblivion, not to be seen.

The heart moved on to the soul, "Loneliness can only be remedied by the love of another, whether it be friends, family, or even a certain someone... The others will be remedied in time." Special love dusts flew over the gloomy soul and it became a white-ish blue rather than a dark gray. It returned to me through the gaping hole in my chest.

All that was left now was... Hate, a direct contradiction of Love, its exact opposite, its enemy.

Love floated to the picture, "Hate... What to do with you? The boy enjoys showing hate as well as love... You might say that he loves to hate at times, would't you agree?"

Hate, knowing this to be true screeched back at Love, "AUGH!! Foul Cretin! Why must you tamper with me so? An oxymoronic statement such as that just... makes my undying fury burn brighter! GAH!!" Hate combusted into a flaming pile of papers, slowly, but surely burning up into nothing.

Love sighed, "All anger and fury burns up as time passes..."

I lowered my eyes and gave a smug look, saying sarcastically, "Wow, Love, you sure are the shit." The sarcasm faded. "But if you don't mind me asking, what overpowers you?"

The heart turned to me, pulsating faster and faster, blood deluged from it and the heart began to shrivel, "The cruelty of others... Those who reject my love... Those who toy with it... Heartache... Heartbreak..." As it went on, more blood spewed out, now turning gray, then black. The heart also changed from gray to black as it gradually got smaller and smaller. A crack appeared in the center of the heart, going down until it was two. Out of nowhere, an endless barrage of needles stabbed into the heart halves until there was no space left for anymore. To add to that, the heart ignited with a black flame and began to wilt and crumble slowly. It went back into the hole in my chest and sealed it back up, and not even a second later I felt the horrible, indescribable, unsurpassed, unsurmountable, supreme, transcendent pain and misery of love... as well as a broken heart.

"DAMN!!! MAKE THIS HORRIBLE PAIN STOP!!! THERE IS NO PAIN GREATER THAN THIS!!!" I groped my chest, almost falling to tear, until my heart abruptly... exploded.