Xiao Ai decided to ignore Lifen and stepped into the room. Sitting on the stool next to Xu Ning, she warily eyed her.
"What were you saying earlier?" She questioned adjusting the ball point pen on her breasts pocket.
Sometimes Xiao Ai felt it was silly for them, as doctors to keep so much ball points in their coats. Never the less she was glad she wasn't a surgeon else things might be more difficult.
Xu Ning carried the little vase that had white lilies in them and sniffed the scent. A relaxing smile on her face.
"Just now, Doctor Long brought me this flowers." she turned to look at Xiao Ai while picking a flower to twirl around her hands. "Is Doctor Long planning on getting married any time?" She curiously asked studying the almost impatient Xiao Ai.
Could she have forgotten?
Was that why she married him?
She was not an impulsive person was she?
"I don't know, since you are close enough for her to send you flowers why don't you directly ask her?" Xiao Ai replied evidently frustrated by how she was going in circles with her simple question.
Why did she feel like everyone was trying to avoid her questions nowadays?
"I was mistaken earlier. In the future there would be a great history about a great woman. I thought you were her, but who knows she might not be born yet. Don't you think?"
"History about a great woman? Xu Ning you are from the future but why do I feel like you in the future must have been really stupid? Were you not smart in school?" She questioned checking the drip. "Staring next week I will be busy and you might have been discharged by then. If there are any important things I need to know you had better speak it now...otherwise" Xiao Ai stopped staring at her calm and wide eyes. Xiao Ais face carried a change of threat, a little venom could be seen in her eyes.
This was what she used to be in the past.
She was this fearful.
Xu Ning calmed herself a bit before replying to Xiao Ai.
"Otherwise what? Will you force the words out of me with your usual ways...Lada?" She called her alias with a pause trying to read her emotions but Xiao Ai simply stood still, her hands on the drip.
Getting no response from the other party, Xu Ning continued. " in the future there's a particular important course called 'the history of Mo Ai' hearing you say you want to change your family name just made me think of her history. At first I thought you were her but..." she twitched her lip as if disagreeing with her own opinion. Xiao Ai raised a brow feeling that Xu Ning was trying to belittle her. " You can't be..this Mo Ai in history was a crowned female ruler. You are a psychologist so I guess you two must be different."
Xiao Ai thought for a while, taking a seat she sighed looking at Xu Ning with the most calm eyes ever. "How are you so sure that we are different? What if I am her? I am that cool of a person you know." she boasted trying to lift her herself in the eyes of this patient who seemed to have started belittling her.
Xu Nings mouth formed an 'oh' as a reply of mockery." There was no history that Mo Ai changed her family name though. Besides the Mo Ai who was a female Ruler was kind and considerate compared to you. You are....just tyrannical you know. If you were a female ruler you would be a dictator." she blatantly stated.
It was the fact.
If Xiao Ai were a female ruler then she would be a dictator.
"Am not interested in politics though. As if I have the time to deal with some old geezers."
"Those old geezers run this country." Xu Ning reminded.
"And look where it got us? We need some fresh blood you know. Speaking of which, the historical Mo Ai, did she have any unique family background?" Xiao Ai probed suddenly feeling like that historical woman could have been her.
Xu Ning avoided Xiao Ais gaze and stared at the door instead. There were few people passing by, as this was a special ward but from time to time one could see the figure of nurses and doctors swiftly moving around. Regardless, the whole place was still a bit quiet.
"No she didn't. Not as I remember." she answered but it was obvious to Xiao Ai she was hiding something.
Xiao Ai decided not to probe further and only kept quiet. When she decided to become a psychologist she had already made up her mind not to go back to being the leader of a gang.
That included not threatening people or making them forcefully give her information like she was used to.
Parting with Chunhua and being reborn made her feel a sense of maturity she didn't feel in the past.
Was it because she was young and still in her youth that she was so unruly in the past? Was it because she had gone to Russia that she had become such dangerous person?
Whatever it was she had no one to blame. Ever since she was young, she had never liked being treated like a princess. She didn't like receiving barbie toys and all like most kids wanted. Instead she was drawn to things like toy guns and knives and toy cars too.
She remembered that her father had once said if she wasn't careful she would become a dread to everyone around her.
When she was young they had all assumed that her fate was strong.
Yes her fate was strong, so the priest said.
Her fate was so strong that it could affect the ones around her. But wasn't she good now?
Wasn't she leading a good life now?
Right now, thinking about the past made Xiao Ai want to cherish the present even more. The past was good. No doubt. She felt good. But where did it all end.
With a missing memory and a name she can never erase.
Listening to Xu Ning say she would most likely be a tyrannical dictator if she were a female ruler made Xiao Ai want to lead a good life.
She didn't care in the past but these past few days especially since she careless got married to Gu Bojing, Xiao Ai felt a sense of peace. A unique one. Now all she wished for was that even if she and Gu Bojing couldn't love each other, they would still be together. Raise children together and grow old together.
Since meeting the man, although some times she felt like she didn't like him much, she couldn't ignore the part of her that wanted to hold onto him.
She felt complicated.
She felt familiar with him.
Could it be that thing in the past...that thing she can't remember...
Could it be him.
Xiao Ai shook her head off these words and stared at her reflection on the cup beside the bed.
"Hello...Earth to you Doctor Mo." Xu Ning called snapping her fingers in Xiao Ais face. What are you thinking? You look so lost." she worriedly asked.
"I was thinking about my past. You know am not young anymore gone are those days when I used to run around. Now I just feel like I want to focus on the present. See, about my past do you think I was really that bad?" She asked Xu Ning.
Xu Ning raised a brow with an amused expression on her face.
"What do you think?" she replied softly laughing.
"Fine..fine..i still have things to do. I will come by later. Take your vitamin supplements and don't go around looking for a particular someone when you get discharged. I tell you from experience, no matter how much you like someone if they are bad for you, then they are. Not every love should be pursued." she advised.
"Not very love should be pursued? Coming from you who is married to Emperor Gu. Are you not pursuing your love?" She questioned.
Xiao Ai didn't fully understand what Xu Ning meant but she still replied her in her own way.
"The relationship between Gu Bojing and I is so so...I can't say we are in love as we practically married each other under a not very good circumstance. What I can say is he is very good to me. And I want to be good to him as well. Ah..what am I saying look at me sounding like a motivational speaker. When I speak of not pursuing some love...I have my reasons. Don't think too much and just focus on yourself. If you give away all your love you will slowly lose yourself. You need to learn to love while loving yourself. It was quite a stupid move to stay here for a long time under pretense. Judging that you are from the future, I can't help but feel like you a bit stupid. Shouldn't you be more smart?" she scolded.
"You've changed. When did you become so reasonable. I heard that you used to be a person who would pursue someone if you take a liking to their face but new... to not pursue some love?" She scoffed staring back at Xiao Ai. "Then what are doing marrying Gu Bojing? Aren't you pursuing that bad love? Or is that bad love that other person?" She carefully asked watching the expression on Xiao Ais face as it had become slightly complicated.
That person...
That fool...
"I don't care what you say but if you take my advice you will realize it's not worth placing all your love in one basket. " And with that she slipped out of the room not waiting for Xu Ning to reply.
Xu Ning had a confused expression.
What's wrong with her? Did she eat the wrong medicine?
Placing all your love in one basket her foot!
It's placing all your eggs in one basket!
How did she even manage to graduate?
Xiao Ai checked on a few patients before going through her weibo.
She suddenly had over sixty thousand plus followers.
Where did all these one come from?
She was scrolling through the comment section about the news of her changing surname when she saw an ID 'forevershameless'
"I love goddess Mo so much. Just yesterday I saw her in front of Gu Building she was so loving towards my friends and I."
Xiao Ai remembered that this girl must be one of those high school girls she met.
When she checked her profile she saw that it was the petite girl that happened to be the leader of the girls. The girl even ran a little fan club for her.
Xiao Ai smiled a little as she remembered something.
If that fool could suppress the media then how did he suppressed the girls.
There was no way they would keep quiet after knowing the relationship between her and Gu Bojing.
Xiao Ai decided to message the girl as ask her out for a meal.
Almost instantly as she asked the little lass accepted. Xiao Ai told her to meet at the hospitals cafeteria since food was cheap and good there.
"Goddess I didn't expect that you would ask me out for a meal. I feel so happy." she enthusiastically said trying to keep her excitement low.
Looking at the young girl reminded Xiao Ai of the young teenager she was sponsoring.
They should be on mid break soon. Perhaps she would pay her a visit soon.
"It okay...its okay. You don't have to be so excited. You resemble a younger sister of mine. Eat up. Don't be shy." Xiao Ai urged drinking a little water.
The girl looked up at her with her big shining eyes. "Goddess you have a younger sister?" She asked clearly surprised.
"En. An adopted one. I will introduce you guys later if there's the chance. That...little girl do you remember what happened in front of the Gu Building? I suddenly forgot few things..like how you girls had left. " Xiao Ai carefully asked.
"Ah..Goddess. You gave us some cash from your wallet and asked us to buy nice things you even gave us the food box you were holding. Because the reporters were trying to make trouble and Emperor Gu happened to be passing by he shooed them away and as usual you tried to... you know smartly swindle him but it didn't work so we all left. Is there something wrong? Goddess could it be you have taken a liking to Emperor Gu...? Do you need our help to abduct him?" The girl frantically asked eager to offer help to her goddess.
Xiao Ai maintained her calm expression as she waved for her not to worry. The young lass continued with her food.
Internally, Xiao Ais emotions were fluctuating.
They didn't remember what had exactly happened that day.
Could it be...they were hallucinating the wrong scene.
If so then....Dream man must be somewhere in China.
If dream man is here then that means....
Was he planning on coming back?
Xiao Ai quickly excused herself giving the young girl some money for transport.
She went straight to the department of Psychiatry and found Lifen.
Dragging her best friend with her to a quiet corridor she looked anxious.
Lifen was about to scold Xiao Ai when she saw the expression on her face.
Did Xu Ning spill the bean?
Didn't they agree to keep it fron Xiao Ai?
"Lifen..that...I think he's coming back." Xiao Ai managed to say in between her panting as she had rushed up the stairs since the elevator was in use and she couldn't wait.
Lifen frowned and patted her back waiting to for her to calm down.
"What are you saying..? Who's coming back?" She slowly asked although she already feared who it was.
Yusheng had planned to have lunch with Lifen and was already going over to her with a lunch box when he saw Xiao Ai anxiously pulling Lifen away. He had followed them only to see Xiao Ai panting while Lifen was patting her back..trying to make her calm.
The anxious look on Xiao Ai was one Yusheng hadn't seen before.
He walked over and placed the lunch box down staring at Lifen using his expression to ask what was happening.
Xiao Ai after calming down a bit held the railings for support as she looked Lifen in the eye.
"I think he's coming back. That fool." she stated clenching and unclenching her fists.
Yusheng could roughly guess what she meant as his eyes widened.
That fool was coming back. Why?
Lifen calmed herself and stared ahead.
Although she knew this was inevitable as he was not one to keep to promises such as staying away from Xiao Ai but she didn't expect it to be so soon.
Was it because of Emperor Gu?
Could it be....he wanted to finish what was left in the past?
The one person who could make Xiao Ai tremble was him.....