-ANSEL-
His every encounter with the woman he once loved always ended with his mind filled with confusion.
The moment he saw her in the hospital when he visited Elena, he felt like he was brought to the past. He felt like they were back to being married, and the five years that had gone by were nothing. The experience felt like a déjà vu for him, until he was slapped with the truth.
When they went home together, their conversation enraged him. Alina's words made him feel like his miseries were insignificant. When she said that he does not have to treat Elena as a mother-in-law anymore since they have been separated for years, he felt like he was the only one who is still stuck in the past.
He knew that it has been five years, and as Alina had implied, he should have already moved on from their past.
But how can one move on when they were left without any answers?
After she left five years ago, he drowned in questions and what-ifs, and he did not know how to save himself from it. The only one who could save him was also the culprit for his suffering, and that very same person left.
He tried to get by without any definite answers for years, leaving it all to his imagination, hence, he could not believe how easily she could say those words to him. He might have tried to understand her if he knew why she left, but that was not the case.
The confusion became worse the next day.
Elena called him saying that she would be able to go home already, and if he could, she'd appreciate his help. He agreed to bring them home, and as much as he tried to ignore Alina's presence during their ride home, he could not do it.
Although he kept responding to Elena's every word, he could not help but shift his gaze towards Alina who was sitting on the passenger seat beside him. Her words kept repeating inside his head, and he tightened his grip around the steering wheel as his anger exacerbated.
Since Elena was with them inside the car, he could not ask all the questions he has towards Alina. He knew that his temper might get the better of him if he tried to talk to her about the past, hence, he tried to ignore her presence as much as he could.
Yet when they arrived at their house, it was Alina who approached him and repeated what she had said yesterday.
"I'm sorry about yesterday, but I still think that it would be best for us not to have any connections anymore."
Ansel could not believe what he heard. He wanted to scoff at her words. Was it not enough that she made him suffer all those years ago that she is now trying to hurt him once again? Did she come back just to twist that knife that she placed in his heart five years ago?
"Is my presence bothering you?"
"Oh right! Last time, you left because you cannot bear to be with me anymore."
He knew that once again, his words cut through like a knife, but now, he could not control his emotions as fury engulf his being.
'How could she demand such a thing when in the first place, she hasn't even explained why she left?'
He thought that she was done. He thought that his anger could not worsen anymore, yet he was wrong. When he heard her next words, it took him everything not to scream.
"And I hope you'll stop. She's getting the wrong idea that there's a chance for the two of us to get back together."
He glowered at her, fury bubbling up in his chest. How could she think that after everything she had done, he would still allow his heart to accept her again? It was too late for that.
"That's never going to happen." He spat out. "Or is it you who's getting the wrong idea?"
He saw her flinch slightly at the disdain in his voice, yet he still continued. "Did you change your mind after seeing me again? Do you want to be with me now that you won't have to live a miserable life in a small apartment? The very reason you left."
Before he knew it, he felt his cheek sting with pain as Alina's palm connected loudly to it. He was stunned at the bold move, yet he knew, based on his memories of her, that sooner or later, his words would make her snap.
And he wanted it. He wanted to hurt her and make her angry. He wanted to make her feel the pain that she brought upon him, even though there is a small piece inside him that prevents him from doing so.
And that piece made his heart constrict in pain as he saw tears falling down Alina's cheeks.
"If that is everything that I wanted from you, then I won't have to endure living in that small apartment with you for two years. I won't have to take in all the insults and mockery from your family just to be with you."
"I endured everything because I love you! No matter how painful it was for me when," she paused and bit her lip, stopping herself from speaking any further.
Ansel could only stare at her the entire time. Deep down, he knew that Alina is not the type of person who would leave for petty reasons yet, because he was left without any answers, he let his mind wander off. He let the insinuations of the people around him influence his memories of Alina.
"Never did I regret being with you for those two years."
After saying everything she wanted, she ran off, leaving Ansel standing alone in front of their house.
The words she said before she left kept repeating inside Ansel's head as he drove back to his office. He knew he went too far earlier, especially when he knew, deep down, that he and Alina had the happiest memories when they were together.
But still, he found it unfair that after years of being together, she left him without a word and now expects him to move on as easily as she made it sound.
He slammed his fist onto the steering wheel, ignoring the pain the impact had brought. He kept seeing the picture of Alina's crying face in his head, and as much as he wanted to defend his side, he cannot deny that what Alina had said was true.
***
Ansel went back to his office to attend his meeting. It went on for almost two hours, but it felt like an eternity for him. He could not concentrate as the past few days brought more questions than answers.
He knew that his relationship with Alina is irreparable, and he thinks that his feelings for her were long gone, that the feelings of love that once filled his heart were now replaced with anger.
That is the reason why, when he felt the unexpected longing when he saw her again, his head was suddenly filled with turmoil.
He thought there was nothing left in his heart, but when yearning towards her swiftly entered his veins, he was once again thrown into chaos.
When the meeting was finished, he was surprised to see multiple calls from Elena. He placed his phone in silent mode when he entered the conference room hence, he wasn't able to answer her calls.
It was almost 7 pm, and he wondered why Elena kept calling him. He pressed the call button, and after two rings, she already answered.
"Hello? Ansel?" Elena said from the other line, her voice quite trembling.
"I just got out of the meeting," Ansel replied while walking towards the elevator. "Is there a problem?"
"It's nothing, it's just," Elena trailed off. She took a deep breath and continued, "Alina hasn't returned yet after she sent you off, and she left her phone here so I can't contact her."
Ansel suddenly remembered what happened earlier, and his heart began beating fast against his chest.
'She hasn't returned since then?' He thought as his head slowly filled with worry.
"I just thought you might have an idea where she is," Elena spoke from the other line.
"Don't worry," Ansel replied. The elevator doors opened, and before he could step inside, he spoke once again. "I'll find her."
Ansel immediately went to the parking area to get his car. Without any concrete plans as to how he will find Alina, he began searching in places that she frequented five years ago. Although there hasn't been that much change in the city, he was still having a hard time looking for her.
He ran around looking for her. His heart beating fast against his chest as he remembered what happened five years ago. He was also running around in the hospital, looking for Alina. He could not believe that she would just leave without a word, hence despite the condition his body was in at that time, he began frantically searching for her.
In the end, he was not able to find her.
The feeling he felt at that time is the exact same feeling he is now facing.
He was running around searching for her even though there is a possibility that she would go home sooner or later, yet he still cannot erase the worry in his head.
He suddenly remembered their old apartment. Although there is a low chance that she is there, he still took the gamble and drove towards the area. It has been so long since he went there, and he was afraid that it might not be the same, but when he arrived at his destination, memories from the past suddenly washed over him.
He suddenly remembered all those days that they spent together in this area. He felt a pang in his heart as he left the safety of his car. The cool breeze immediately hit him, and he could only stare in melancholy at the familiar building that he once called home.
And as expected, Alina was nowhere to be found within the vicinity. What was he expecting? For Alina to go on a ruminating journey and go back here? She was the one who said that it has been five years since their relationship ended, why would she go here then?
He was about to turn around and leave when he saw the park that he and Alina frequented when they were living here. The place also held so many memories for them as they spent most of their idle time sitting and chatting around in that park.
Before he knew it, his feet started dragging him to the place. The place looked the same from his memories. There were still few people hanging around the park and mostly, it was people who were just passing by to get to the apartment buildings on the other side.
He started walking towards their usual place, and when he saw a silhouette, hope suddenly entered his mind. He began walking faster, almost running, and when he neared the bench, he finally saw her face.
When he saw her, he wanted to run towards her and pull her into a tight embrace, but the opposite happened when he arrived. He started shouting at her. He could not hear his own voice. The only thing he could hear was the whisper of relief echoing in his mind as he finally found Alina.
When Alina did not reply and merely kept staring at him, he sighed and sat on the bench, sitting as far away from her as possible.
Another gust of wind blew past them, and his heartbeat slowly went back to normal. The silence was deafening, and as much as he wanted to break it, he does not know what to say. After what happened earlier, he does not know how he should approach the woman beside him.
Before he could wrack his mind with words to say, Alina spoke, "Do you remember how we used to spend time here? We used to stay here just talking about anything, and we sometimes even make up weird stories about the people that passed by." Her soft chuckle tickled his ears as the picture of their memories in this place flashed before his eyes. "Like a bunch of kids."
Alina suddenly reminisced their memories of the past, and Ansel merely sat beside her, listening to her voice. The atmosphere and the location made them unable to resist pondering over their past.
"Do you remember when you surprised me on my birthday with a simple candlelit dinner at home? You even scattered rose petals all over our apartment."
A small smile formed on Ansel's lips as he remembered clearly what happened at that time. He turned his gaze towards Alina, and before he knew it, he replied, "Yes. You were happy when we were eating dinner, but you got angry after because you said that it was impractical to spend way too much money on candles and flowers."
Alina's eyes were staring directly into his as she chuckled at the memory. A strange sensation slowly spread around his chest as he stared at her smiling face. He wanted to reach out and touch her face. He wanted to pull her towards him and close the distance between them.
He was shaken out of his thought when Alina suddenly said, "I won't ever bother you again. I just came back because of my mother. Soon, you won't be seeing me again, so you don't have to worry."
Ansel wanted to speak, but he does not know what to say. When he finally saw Alina once again, everything was suddenly thrown into chaos. He was still unsure of himself and everything, and suddenly, Alina is going to leave once again.
Alina suddenly stood up and continued, "and I don't plan on ever getting back together with you if that is what you are worried about."
After everything that Alina had said, his mind was thrown into shambles. He did not know what happened after, but when Alina said that she'll leave, he suddenly reached out and grabbed her, his body moving against his will.
Now, he is driving back to Alina's house with her on the passenger seat. His mouth remained shut as he did not know what to say.
Alina suddenly showed her face after so many years, and as abrupt as her return, she's once again leaving.
And now, who knows if they'll ever meet again.
Alina still hasn't explained why she left in the first place, and right now, she's selfishly doing what she wanted. Without even giving him an ounce of explanation, she's saying that she is leaving once again.
His life is slowly becoming peaceful after she left, but now, she suddenly shows up, throws his life into chaos, and is now leaving him with his mind filled with turmoil.
"I'm sorry for making you run around looking for me," Alina said once they arrived back to her house. She smiled sheepishly at him and continued, "But, I'm not sorry for slapping you. You deserve it."
Ansel turned to face her. Everything happened so fast, and he realized that suddenly, they are at the ending of their story.
And he was not ready for it.
"Good night Ansel. I hope you find your happiness," Alina said before finally closing the door of the car.
Ansel merely stared at her retreating back as she walked towards the front door of her house. He thinks that his feelings for her were long gone, yet there is this persistent emotion in his chest that he cannot shake off when he saw her again. He does not know what it was, but one thing that he most certainly knew was that he cannot let their story end here without getting any answer.
He took his phone out and scrolled through his contacts to search for a name. Once he saw it, he pressed the call button, and after a few rings, the other person answered. "Hello?"
"Hold your decision about the bidding the other day," Ansel spoke in his commanding tone and continued, "send all the proposals to me right now."