-ANSEL-
He could not believe his eyes.
The woman who he had been looking for was finally right in front of him.
The woman who left him five years ago.
The moment their eyes met, a variety of emotions surged within him, but amongst all of them, the feeling of longing emerged on top.
The woman who previously had a long brown hair that felt like silk between his fingers is now sporting a short hair, falling right below her shoulders. The years that passed by made her features sharper, and her lovely lips that he loved to nibble every chance he could, were tinged with red, tempting him even now.
She was already attractive before, but now, she became more beautiful.
He wanted to reach out and comb his fingers through her hair. He wanted to cup her face and take those tempting lips that he missed so much. He wanted to run his fingers all over her body just to make sure that she's real.
That she is really standing in front of him, and it is not merely another one of his dreams.
But when he realized that this was the same woman who had left him during his lowest point, he masked his emotions with a glare. He betrayed himself by letting the feeling of longing rule over him. She left him five years ago, and the only emotion he should feel right now towards her is fury.
The longing that he felt the moment he saw her was replaced with anger. He had not seen her for years, and the last time they even had the slightest communication was when she sent the signed divorce papers.
And even then, they were not able to talk to each other.
All those years that he questioned himself, thinking if he had done anything wrong to make the woman he loved the most leave, surfaced before his eyes, and he curled his hand into a tight fist as he watched the woman present in front of him.
He felt deceived as after all those years, the woman shows herself just to get a contract from him.
Before, a few months after she left, he kept this hope in his heart that perhaps, she would return and be with him once again. He thought that if she did so, he would not need any explanation and would gladly open his arms for her again.
But when the years passed by, his heart hardened. Rather than the feeling of hope, he felt anger.
He felt angry at the woman for leaving him without any explanation, and for making him miserable all those months that he questioned himself. When she left, he hated himself for not being able to give her the life that would make her choose to stay. He beat himself up and blamed himself for why she left. But suddenly, those feelings turned into anger.
And right now, he is trying his best to control his emotions as he stares at her. She continued with her presentation, her clear voice still has the ability to captivate anyone who listens to her. He remembered the happiness he felt every time she greets him in the morning with that alluring voice of hers, warmth never failing to spread around his chest as the face of the woman he loves welcomes him first thing in the morning.
Her eyes were still shining with determination and confidence as she stood in front of the podium, her charismatic aura made the whole room entranced with her.
He stared at her the whole time until she finished her presentation. He noticed that the entire time, she looked everywhere except towards him. Even when she finally left the room, she held her head high, not once looking at him.
Once again, he felt angry. Their eyes most certainly met when she entered the room, but after that, she did everything not to meet his eyes again.
Is she ignoring his presence?
Does she not care that the man she left all those years ago is right in front of her?
Does his existence mean nothing to her now?
All these questions perplexed his mind, and he felt a headache forming. Before a new presenter could enter the conference room, he left, not knowing where his feet would drag him.
He did not know why he left the room and tried to search for the woman. Rather than him searching for her, she should be the one to approach him. She should explain why she left and why she's suddenly right in front of him.
Why should it be him who's searching frantically like an idiot for her?
Had he not learned a lesson after everything that happened?
When he saw her leave the comfort room, he immediately saw the poor work of trying to mask her swollen eyes. He stopped on his tracks, his determination to get the answers out of her faltering.
'Why did she cry?'
When her petite figure bumped into him and he heard her voice that he so missed, he was shaken out of his thoughts. He stared at her face, and despite the physical difference, he found that the woman he once loved was still there, and she had not changed.
Before he knew it, he blurted out, "You're still the same."
The woman suddenly looked at him. He masked his face void of any emotions as he was caught in her wide eyes. He stared right into her eyes, her brown eyes making him feel a swirl of emotions.
Anger battling the yearning that he felt, he whispered, "After all these years, you've finally shown yourself."
He knew that he could not let his feelings towards the woman rule over him, and he tried his best to control the surge of emotions at the sight of the woman in front of him.
There was a familiar yet strange look in her eyes. She looked at him as if she still loves him, yet he knew not to indulge himself with such thoughts. She left coldheartedly when he was battling for his life, there is no way that there is still love for him in her heart.
Hence, once again, he hardened his heart away from emotions that would merely confuse him and spoke, "You're quite callous for showing yourself in front of me. What did you expect by coming here? That I will favor you just because of our past?"
The moment those words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. He saw the woman's eye glisten with unshed tears, and he felt his chest constrict at the sight of her. All he wanted was to make her feel the hurt she made him suffer, but seeing her biting her lip, trying her hardest to contain her emotions, it took him everything not to reach out and touch her face.
He thought he was prepared for this moment. He built a wall around his heart after she left, and all was left of him was resentment, not just to her but to all the people around him.
When she left, he realized that no matter how much you give up for another person, they can and they will leave you.
'Anyone can betray you, even your family, and even the person whom you love the most.'
"I'm sorry sir," the woman spoke, and he could hear her voice quiver a little. "I gave my presentation, and it's up to your objective perspective to decide whether or not we're capable of fulfilling your company's needs."
After she said those words, she bowed a little and left, leaving him trembling with anger.
After five long years, this was their first encounter, yet she left after saying those words. He knew that he had hurt her, however, he could not accept how she could disregard him like that.
She left him a huge scar when she left, yet that was the only thing she could say to him after they had met again.
"You're good at that," he spoke, his voice laced with mockery. "You're just the kind of person who will leave just because it gets tough."
He started walking away the moment he said those words. He was furious. He had imagined all sorts of scenarios as their first meeting after so many years.
But he realized he was never ready to meet her again.
He knew his words, especially those he had said before he left, would hurt her, and he thought he would feel a sense of satisfaction for letting her experience the hurt she made him feel, yet right now, instead of feeling satisfied, he felt angry.
He was both angry at her and himself.
When he arrived back at his office, he slammed the door shut. He was not in the mood to listen to the rest of the presentation. His mind was too preoccupied with thoughts about the woman who had just left.
He thought this was everything he wanted, yet when he saw her pained expression, he just wanted to take everything back. He was angry at himself for having those kinds of feelings. He was supposed to be furious at her, yet the moment he saw her again, his feelings towards her kept surging despite his effort of locking those sentiments deep inside him.
***
Ansel went to visit his ex-mother-in-law in the hospital the next day. He was reluctant to visit at first since he might see Alina again, yet he was worried at the old woman who became like a real mother to him, unlike his biological mother.
When he found out last night that she was hospitalized a few days ago, he immediately canceled his plans in the morning the next day to visit her. Despite the fact that she was the mother of the woman who left him, he still harbors a soft spot towards her.
Elena, Alina's mother, took care of him as if he was her own son even after Alina left. She apologized over and over again for her daughter's actions and visited him every day in the hospital after he woke up. She helped him slowly come out of his miserable shell, and afterward, not once did she ever try to mention Alina again. She became the mother-figure he never had.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as Elena gestured for him to sit on the chair near the hospital bed.
"I've been better," Elena replied, smiling. "But the food here is terrible."
Ansel smiled lightly at her reply, relieved to see that she is already recovering as she could now joke around.
"How about you?" Elena asked. "Have you been resting well?"
"Fortunately, I am," Ansel replied.
They spoke a bit about their work, mostly it was Elena talking about her garden. He was waiting for her to bring up Alina, but he knew that she would not do that. She tried her best not to mention Alina all those years ago, and she would not slip up now.
He wanted to ask her so many questions, but he knows that Elena thinks that anything about Alina is taboo for him.
But still, he wanted to talk to her about Alina.
"I saw her yesterday," Ansel spoke all of a sudden, making Elena's eyebrows furrow into confusion.
"I saw Alina yesterday in the office," he elaborated.
Elena's eyes widened in surprise at the mention of her daughter. She never mentioned Alina in front of Ansel because she is afraid that she might bring up past wounds that could hurt him, yet here he is now, initiating a conversation about her.
Hope bloomed in the old woman's heart.
"She returned a few days ago when she heard I was hospitalized," Elena spoke softly, a warm smile decorated her face. "How come the two of you met?"
Ansel was reluctant to answer as he was reminded of what happened the previous day. "She showed up for a bidding for one of our projects."
Elena nodded and spoke, "she never mentioned that. How was it?"
"She's," he trailed off. Ansel did not know what to say. He could not mention that he treated her badly because of his anger towards her, hence, after wracking his brain for answers, he said one of his realizations yesterday. "She didn't change."
Elena smiled at his response and remained silent, urging Ansel to continue. "She still does everything without hesitation nor fear."
He was reminded of the first time they ever met back when they were still in college. She spoke her thoughts about his presentation without hesitancy despite his seniority. He found her charming then, with her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance towards him, yet he would never admit that to her at that time.
He tried to shake the thoughts out of his head by changing the topic. "When are you going to be discharged?"
Elena noticed the sudden shift and smiled inwardly. She knew that regardless of Ansel's toughened exterior, there are still bits of pieces of the old Ansel inside. Even with her daughter, she tried to close her heart off, yet Elena knew that deep inside Alina's heart, there is still a tiny hope.
Elena thought that there might still be hope in mending the past wounds. The two are just too stubborn to realize.
"About that," Elena trailed off, smiling widely. "The doctor said I could be discharged tomorrow, but I don't know how we'll be able to go home with all of my stuff."