Claire felt her body floating in the air. A song of birds singing in harmony came to her ears.
What a good feeling to die. If I know, I would just shove my body into that cliff earlier before all that misfortune had happened to me.
The wind was blowing softly at her. Suddenly her body feels chills. What is this? It's cold all of the sudden. Should I open my eyes? But what if I didn't die yet and must face the emperor again?
" Lady Claire! "
Someone was shouting my name all aloud.
" Lady Claire! Where are you?! " shout that voice again.
Claire gasped in shock as her body felt so cold. She opened her eyes and was shocked as her view was all white. Snow? It's not even winter yet, how come there is snow?
" Did I die..? Dreaming perhaps? "
She looks around her in blanked. All the colorful flowers got all covered with snow and a sudden familiar scent of the greenery of the forest came to her senses, making her shed a single tear unconsciously.
' This is the forest behind our family residence.. '
" Claire! "
She turns to look at that cold voice in startled eyes. A familiar face, a familiar cold voice, all the familiar scenery make her lost in a daze. This dream was quite realistic.
' What's wrong with this view, the people that are supposed to be dead, stand right before me with a worried gaze. Am I dying? Really?? Finally!! '
' I finally could meet you guys again.. you don't know how much I longed for this day to come. I finally can leave that miserable life and follow you guys.. '
" Claire Stella Romanoff. "
Claire smiles as she hears that voice clearly. I'm willing to die and jump into that cliff, all just to hear that pierce voice call my name coldly again.. this familiar forest where I could walk easily even with my eyes closed. A place that I would hide myself just to run from the owner of this cold voice. Make Claire tremble in tears while looking at him who was looking at her in anger.
" My lady.. you shouldn't lay on this snow in this cold weather. " worried the mansion head butler, Sir Ryss Alford. He walked towards me and gently held my shoulder to comfort me, this warm hand, a thing I was longing for from the time I moved to the palace, made my tears flow even harder.
" Why are you crying?. As the future empress of Castella, you shouldn't show your feelings in front of others. You still lack some manners, you need more self-discipline, Claire. "
That cold gaze stared at me, but strangely, I don't feel any fear from that warning like I used to, only a nostalgic feeling I can feel right now. Even after I died, he wouldn't stop scolding me for my misbehave, huh? Come on, this is the afterworld, let's be frank toward each other.
Claire gets up and walks toward her father, the archduke Relius Keith Romanoff, who was meant to be dead and leave her in this cruel world all alone. While sniffing she stands before him and looks into his green eyes with her trembling pupil.
" I miss you, papa.."
" I miss standing beside you like this, papa. Please forgive this useless daughter of yours, papa.. please, I'm sorry.."
The archduke shocked and get stunned when Claire suddenly hugged his body while crying like they haven't met after a long time,
' This is the warmth I wanted to feel in my whole life. A warmth from the body that I would never dare to get near at all. Today, I got a chance to embrace it for the first time after living in regrets when he's gone. '
Relius looks at his butler in wonder with Claire's sudden action, asking with his eyes what makes his daughter cry and hug him like this. His hand hesitated to touch Claire's head, but he ended up not doing it.
Awkwardly the archduke pushes Claire's body from him and turns to head toward the estate speechless. Claire wipes her tears and looks at her father with a happy feeling that she's never felt at the palace before. This is just a dream, but it feels so real until it makes me shed my tears like this.
" My lady, let's head in. You will catch a cold if you stay out here in thin clothes like this. "
Claire nod and hold Ryss's hand with a bright smile, ' Does we need to go to the heaven together now? ' with her red-faced that cold and redden because of the tear, Ryss smile when he can see the tenderness on Claire's eyes toward him. This is the first time Claire makes a face like that at him. With a smile, they walk toward the mansion together while holding each other hand.
****
" What is this?!! "
" What's wrong, my lady? "
I look at my maid. In disbelief with what had happened.
' I've really turned back to the past?? '
Her heart thumping in shock, she stood before the mirror in her room with a big frown. While pinch both her 14 years old self cheeks in disbelief, when she can feel hurt on her cheeks, she can't stop thinking about how she can end up like this.
' Does God Casel hear my prayers? Did he give me another chance to change my future? This is my opportunity to overcome that Noelle?? I can't believe it! Seriously?! " Clair jumped in joy with her second chance to change her destiny.
' This time I wouldn't waste my time with this stupid education for the future empress any more. I would act myself for who I am, as I pleased! No one can stop me now! woo-hoo! '
My heart felt like it was going to boost in joy at any time, I couldn't help it but feeling excited with my younger body as I looked at the mirror and ended up, staring at my younger self in amazement. A young and soft hand, a small body, a bright pink hair that so long until my waist, a green pupil that shines in brightness without any sadness like the misfortune never happened in the first place, a light body that makes me want to run all day, a face that still pretty without any exhaust to be shown at, although it's reddened because I'm crying into my heart's content earlier, but still, this is the best thing that had ever happened in my life! In eagerness, I hold my face proudly...
" Daisy.. "
A maid named Daisy quickly stood beside me and bowed. " Yes, my lady? "
Claire smiles and looks at her in excitement.
" Do I look really pretty and young now? I'm not dreaming, right? "
Daisy chuckles and bends her head toward Claire. " Of course, you are, my lady. You have always been a lovely lady in my eyes. "
With Daisy's words, I know I'm not dreaming, this is my past! My 14 years old self really was standing in front of me in this mirror!
Should I try something new in this new life?
" Um... Daisy? "
" Yes, my lady. "
" Um. can you make me a ponytail pwetty please? "
Erk. This is my first time trying to look cute in front of someone, I hope it doesn't look weird. Ehem.
" Um. Well, I always wanted to try that hairstyle for my whole life like those girls in the same age as me, they always do that hairstyle with their hair... They look all sparkly and so cute with a ponytail! So I want to try it too... Can you do it for me, Daisy? "
Daisy, who was in her daze, was stunned and looked at Claire in disbelief. This is the first time her lady makes a childish request from herself, with a face she could never expect to see from that mature child expression, even though she has been serving her since she was a baby back then, making Daisy lost in her deep thoughts.
" Pardon? I couldn't have misheard it, right? You've asked for a ponytail, my lady? "
Claire chuckles cheerfully. " Mm! "
" Mis-miss...."
Claire looks at Daisy, who was looking at her in touch. I know, for me, that I have always acted mature since I was in my young age, to ask for a childish ponytail as my hairstyle, make Daisy's heart finally release her worries.
" As you wish, I will make you the most pretty ponytail as your hairstyle today! " said Daisy in excitement while holding my pink hair gently.
" Daisy, I want to eat chocolate too, cookies, cake, and all kinds of sweets as my dessert today, can I? "
" Of course, my lady! You need to eat those foods to get some energy for your body. "
Claire laughed as she felt it was funny. " Okay! "
****
" Mm~ so smooth..! What is this, Charles? It melted in my mouth! "
A chef of the Romanoff family, Charles, put some macaroons on Claire's plate. He felt so happy when Claire's cute face eats his food in joy.
" It's called macaroon, my lady. I would bring more sweets as you look so enjoyed eating my food so well. Please wait here for a second. "
Claire looks at Daisy and shoves a macaroon toward her mouth. " Here, ahh. "
Daisy smiles and eats the macaroon in excitement. " Thank you. "
" My lady, I want you to feed us too... it's unfair to only feed Daisy.. " beg all the maid behind Daisy, they were all her friends in this mansion. Claire chuckles and grabs a macaroon from her plate to feed them. " Here, open your mouth. ahh "
" Oh! You're right, my lady. It melts in our mouths. So sweet and tasty" Bright them together before Claire. Claire nods proudly, this is the first time she becomes so close with this mansion's maids. It's regrettable to ignore them every time I've visited the mansion in the past.
" Right? Hehe. "
" My lady, here I come! " shouted Charles from the door so suddenly. Claire was stunned by the view. Charles brought so many sweets and placed them on the table cheerfully. There were 8 butlers and each had a sweets tray on their hands. Claire and all the maids blank in shock when all the sweets have been served before their own eyes.
" I can eat all of this..? " ask Claire in disbelief.
" Of course, it's all specially made for you, my lady. "
Claire grinned in happiness, this is my first time to eat so many sweets like this! When she was about to hold her spoon, a cold voice suddenly interrupted her joyful time.
" What's the occasion here? You didn't even bother to call me to celebrate it with you guys."
Claire puts her spoon and looks at her father. All the maid has left Claire and stands in their position in fear. Claire lowered her head and looked at her hand. She played with her fingers when she knew that she would get scolded by her father this time.
" Leave us alone. " firm that voice again.
All the maid and Charles instantly leave the room while worried about Claire. When he makes sure all the maid has gone, he closes the door with a straight face, he looks at Claire.
" So, you enjoy eating something like this, huh? "
Claire flinches, her heart suddenly thumping. This is the first time her father talks to her about something else except for work. She slowly raises her head and hesitates to look at Relius' face.
Relius was sitting before me with a crossed leg, his gaze looking down on me as wanted to mock me. This father would never change whatever method I used toward him just to get his attention in the past.
" I'm sorry, archduke.."
Relius felt something just hit him hard through his heart. Just this morning, his daughter hugged him and called him by the name she had never tried before. He doesn't know that only a single word can pierce his emotion just like this. His gaze suddenly turns cold.
" Papa."
Claire was choked with a sudden blunt from her father's mouth, her retina looking at Relius in disbelief with what she had just heard from the same cold voice she knew. ' I accidentally called him that morning out of my disturbed feelings for him. Does he want to scold me because I improperly called him that in front of everyone at the mansion? Claire clenches her dress and takes the courage to look into the archduke's pierce gaze in tremble.
" Pardon, archduke? "
Again, his face became fierce. Why does he look so angry when I call him with his title? I've always called him like this in the past. What makes him so different this time?
The archduke leans on his chair, this time he crosses his arm too, and intensely glares at Claire face in silence.
" Call me 'papa' from now on. That's an order. "
In blink with what just happened, I look at him in blank while hesitating to call him by that nickname.
" Em. papa? like this? "
His gaze suddenly became tender while directly looking at me, the tip of his lips slowly moved up a bit. No way! The archduke that has always been cold at me just smiled gently right before me. That straight handsome face that always had his head up finally turned up to smile with just a simple word from me.
Relius gets his face closer to Claire in excitement. He doesn't know what kind of feelings he felt right now, but the thing he knew, he wanted to hear that word come out from his daughter's lips more and more. He's slowly getting addicted to her tender voice that was calling for him.
" Again. "
Claire gasped with his actions and hesitated to talk again. She makes her body backward a little as she feels awkward with her father gazes.
" Papa..? "
The archduke smiles in satisfaction when Claire calls him again. He patted the table while looking at Claire's pale face.
" That's good. From now on, you must call me 'papa', you can continue to eat now, Claire. "
Claire slowly takes the spoon in hesitation, she lowered her face from being seen by her father's gaze. She focuses on the food in sorrows. How am I supposed to eat if he was looking at me each time I'm trying to feed myself??
" Em. papa? "
" Yes, daughter? "
With a frown, I look at him in wonder. That's the quickest response I ever heard from that mouth. I wanted him to eat with me, but, never mind that, he doesn't like any sweet thing.
" Em.. nothing. "
I barely manage to eat all the sweets with his gaze still on me the entire time we sit at the same table. I am finally done eating without leaving any leftovers behind because I'm scared if he would scold me because of it. While getting up from my seat in exhaustion, even though it was my first time to eat so many sweets, I barely got the taste because I was so focused with his gaze on me. I'm scared that if I make any mistake while eating before him, I will send him head to the door.
" Let's eat together next time whenever I haven't got a work, a family is supposed to eat together for every single meal. "
Claire choked in her emotions, barely trying to hold back her objection, she smiled innocently at her father while her heart cursed his attitude that changed instantly toward herself.
" I understand, archd- papa. I would inform Charles about that. "
The archduke smirks at my mistake. " practice calling me 'papa' every day. "
Claire smiled while her mind was in a critical damage state.
" Very well, papa.."
The archduke finally leaves me alone, exhausted, I lean on the chair in a daze. " What had just happened to me? "