" Tsk! What's wrong with me? She just hugged and called me papa, those simple things can make my heart feel something strange.."
In anxiety, he touches his thumping chest while his mind feels hurt from thinking too much.
" This feeling... I had never felt like this for a very long time after she had left me.. was I as weak as I am now? I shouldn't be like this.. "
This morning, he was just getting hugged by his own daughter. Her trembling slender arm that was embracing my body, with tears all over her face made me feel as sad as she does, although I don't know what caused her tears to flow like that.
Looking at her face, I wanted to pat and caress her small head. I wanted to comfort her since this is the first time I ever looked at my daughter's tears falling right in front of me. The last time she cried though, was on the day her mother died when she was a 9-year-old girl. In a small dark place, she's crying all alone without anyone to comfort her trembling body.
At those times and even now, I really wanted to hold her body in my embrace, make her more dependent on me, but for my whole life, I've been taught to not show my feelings no matter what condition occurs, that's the same thing I've taught my own daughter. Even so, how could I coldly push her away like that this morning? What if she gradually grows hatred towards me because of that?
Relius looks at a big frame that was getting covered with a white color fabric in his disturbed mind, he gets up from his seat and slowly walks toward the frame that is hanging on the wall of his office. He stood in the blank before the frame while his face slowly showed a lonely gaze at a person on that frame.
" Jenna." That cold voice finally had a trembling sadness mixed in it.
Knock. Knock.
Relius looks at the door in sorrow. Stared at a person who was disturbing him on his personal time.
" What is it? "
Ryss bows at him from the door.
" Pardon my rudeness to disturb you when you're busy, my Lord. But I want to show you something, please follow me now. "
In sigh, Relius heads toward him and obediently follows Ryss toward the kitchen in silence. He can't concentrate at all due to his headache, although he had so much work to be done.
" So? What you wanted me to see, Ryss? "
In wonder why they were currently standing before the kitchen door, Relius looked at Ryss who was smiling suspiciously. Ryss slowly pushed the door a little, enough for Relius to see what was happening inside.
In blank, Relius stared at them were laughing together brightly. Claire, his daughter, that he knows would never hardly laugh without a manner like that, was laughing happily with the maids of the mansion that she was once taught to ignore them because of their difference in status, that view was enough to make him stunned for a while.
What makes that young face become so bright? Were those sweets that she was banned to eat since she was a kid, was that delicious after all? A small bite can make her face so beautiful with her stunning smile and red cheeks. Relius had never seen his daughter make a face like that in front of him, all this time, he only can watch her straight face as a mature lady like himself as they were taught to be.
" You know what I'm trying to make you see? " ask that old man, Ryss, toward Relius.
Relius slightly touches the door. If he interrupted her when she was smiling brightly like that, I know she will come back to her old self as soon as I appear before her in this state. Ryss smiles while looking at Relius's hesitant actions.
" It's not too late, my Lord. She was still a bright young girl that needed her father's love to grow brightly like that. That small shoulder doesn't have to bear such a burden as the future empress in her young age, my Lord. "
" I actually pity her, she was never showing her feelings at all until this morning, she willingly held my old hand with warmth in her eyes. She didn't even look so disgusted as she always acted toward me. My lady has become a very different person since this morning, she is like a small bird that finally gets her freedom out of the cage, my Lord. "
Relius glared at Ryss. His heart ached all of the sudden.
" She held your hand? she would never do that to me. "
His complaint makes that old man Ryss laugh in disbelief. The archduke was feeling jealous of me? all the things I've said, did he just hear the part his daughter held my hand?
" Well, If you don't want her to hate you... then, push your ego away, my Lord. Look at her as who she is now. Don't push her and make her more dependent on you, Relius. Doesn't she remind you of someone when she started to act like this, Relius? "
Relius in a blank state, nodded his head, Ryss had always become like a father to him, an old man who would care when everyone turns their back on me, he was the only person that would sincerely look at me since I was a rude little child. That old man always gave him advice and talked about what he could or couldn't do.
" I will try, Ryss. "
Relius finally pushed the door in determination.
" What's the occasion? you didn't even bother yourself to call for me to celebrate it with you guys. "
Ryss who was looking at him from the outside door, trying to hold his laughter.
" He still seems to be awkward but I believe that he will try to change from now on. and that lame joke would be heard as mean when your cold voice trying to joke about it like that.. this stupid boy.. "
****
" Papa, I want to go to the temple. "
Claire finally asked, she looked at her father in hesitation, trying to guess what that cold head was thinking about her sudden question. She needed to pray at the temple to show her gratitude toward the Casel god due to her second chance in life.
From the day he asked to eat with me, my father always makes time to come home and eat a meal with me even though he got so busy with some political matters. I don't know what makes his cold mind change but I'm really grateful for it. Eventually, I'm slowly getting comfortable with his attitude toward me but sometimes I'm scared if he would become his old self again.
Relius turns his gaze from the food to focus on Claire. " For what? "
His voice is still cold like always though.
" I would like to meet the high priest, papa. "
In innocence I try to smile at him as bright as I can, trying to persuade him to approve it.
Watching at his daughter's cute face, Relius' eyes quickly turn to focus on his meal again.
" I would ask the high priest to come to our mansion today for you. No need to exhaust yourself just to visit the temple, Claire. You're the third precious lady in this empire after the royal Queen herself, you shouldn't visit the temple without any precautions just like that. "
Claire sighed in disappointment. ' This overprotective father! a third precious lady, my ass! '
" But, I would like to go and see the temple myself, papa. I don't want to be such a burden for the high priest to come all the way here just because I wanted to ask them a question, papa. "
Placing his spoon on the table, he looks at Claire with his sharp eyes.
" You're an honorable lady of the empire, you shouldn't think of yourself as a burden for those positions below yours, Claire. "
With his warned gaze, I lowered my face to avert his menacing eyes. watching me suddenly become fearful with his actions, father sighs and puts down his spoon. looking straight at me.
" I don't mean to get angry at you. Very well, Claire. Then, I will accompany you to go there. As the future empress, I can't leave you alone defenseless. you might get hurt by the people at the temple. "
In blank with his sudden statement, I frown while trying to guess what he meant by that.
" Em. But, aren't you busy with the current war that is going to occur at any time, papa? no need to worry about my safety. I can go there with Daisy as my companion and there our family knight too. "
The archduke's gaze suddenly turns cold again with Claire's word of rejection. He really doesn't like it whenever someone were to object to his decision. Watching at his sharp gaze, Claire lowered her face again and obediently agreed with him.
" Then, we will visit the temple this weekend, I will clear your lesson schedule on that day, Claire. " said father while continuing to eat his meal again.
When she looked at his father who was calmly eating after deciding on that matter so easily, made Claire sigh. She eats her meal in silence. ' Lesson? how am I supposed to tell him that I don't want to be the empress anymore? he would never approve of it no matter what the reason I came with. '
" You seem to be disturbed by something. What is it? "
The archduke asked when Claire was silent in her hesitated state, she always does that whenever she feels trouble talking about something with him. As her father, it's his responsibility to know what was going through his daughter's mind that makes her look so disturbed by it.
" Papa.. " called her in a gentle voice, trying to get his attention.
Relius quickly smiles at her. As soon as she would call him like that, he would always forget everything just to hear that tender voice call for him.
" Yes, daughter? "
Claire gasped trying to calm her thumping heart. Ugh. I would never get adapted to his stunning smile. that cold eyes always show tenderness every time I call for him like that.
" Papa, if I were, to be honest to you.. would you promise that you won't scold me no matter how nonsense it could be? "
While raising his eyebrow in wonder, his tender gaze still on Claire's beautiful face. " What is it? " ask that cold voice.
Claire clenches her dress in a tremble with a sudden fear that knocks into her heart. Worrying if her father can accept it or not. ' Should I say it? but, I'm scared! '
Looking at her father's eyes that were focusing on her, made her more nervous somehow. her voice trembles as she doesn't know how to talk about it in a way that her father wouldn't scold her and understand her feelings.
" I. um. "
Knock. Knock.
The archduke's face turns to look at the door. Claire sighed in relief when that eye didn't gaze on her anymore. She looks in the same direction as her father in wonder.
" What is it? "
Ryss bows while shoving a letter from the palace.
" The emperor asked for your presence at today's meeting with the other parliament, my Lord. "
The archduke's eyes gaze on his daughter's face again, in guilt he gets up from his seat and takes his coat from Ryss.
" Let's continue our talk when I get back, Claire. "
With a bright smile, I look at his guilty face. As long as I don't have to talk about that matter with him yet, I wouldn't mind if he leaves me while we are having our meal like this.
" It's okay, papa. it's about your work, you must go even if you don't feel like it, right? "
That cold person's lips raise his tip again. Father smiles gently at me before he turns to leave the mansion with our family carriage to meet the emperor of Castella at the palace.
" My lady. "
Claire looks at Ryss in wonder while eating her breakfast. She continues to eat her meal after her father has left her at the dining table all alone.
" Yes? "
" There is a guest for you, my lady. He was currently waiting for you in the guest room. "
Claire frowned while looking at Daisy who was smiling suspiciously behind Ryss, such a meaningful smile only for me. In wonder, I am trying to guess who that guest could be.
In deep thought, suddenly I remember the most important part of my life. While choked by my delicious meal, I drank water to calm myself, to be specific, to calm my thumping heart. Not because I'm looking forward to meeting him but because he was the only person that I wouldn't mind even if he were to be found dead someday. That's how much I hated him to my heart's content and today, the day I would see him again in this second chance life has arrived.
" Very well, let him be, Ryss. Let's see if he can be patient with me. "
In smirked, I continued to eat my meal for a while. Well, that's on purpose though. Let's give him some time to prepare his emotions well, shall we?