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CCG Public Enemy No 1 by euphoric image
 Naruto & Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール Xover Rated: T, English, Humor, Kakashi H., Words: 17k+, Favs: 462, Follows: 568, Published: Feb 9 Updated: Apr 29 165Chapter 3: Destroyed
Kakashi sighed contentedly when he finished the first 5 volumes. It was a fantastic read.
He stood up from the top of the crane he was sitting on. The air up here was cool and refreshing. Less pollution. No stinking people (seriously, it's as if people didn't know what deodorant was.)
He stared off at the sunset. He had spent a good chunk of the day reading.
Nobody seemed to have noticed him up here. Kakashi looked down. Everything looked like little dots from this height.
Well, he has work to do. He released the chakra sticking him to the crane then jumped off, free-falling to the ground.
The wind rushed through his hair and adrenaline coursed through his system. His senses screamed out at him as every nerve was lit aflame with exhilaration. Kakashi smiled underneath his mask.
It was fun. Kakashi could rarely do stuff like this, because the last time he jumped off of the Hokage Mountain, he was. . . disciplined by the Sandaime for "setting a bad example goddamnit Kakashi I swear if I see a single Genin do the same thing you did then I will shove my pipe so far up your-"
As the ground neared, Kakashi performed a flawless Kawarimi, effortlessly switching out with a rock on a window ledge. He precariously balanced on the ledge, using the slightest bits of chakra to attach himself, and watched the rock smash to pieces below him.
His body parallel to the ground, Kakashi walked down the side of the building, weaving a minor genjutsu around him. When he reached the ground, Kakashi dropped the genjutsu, absently applied a Henge, and made his way back to the hotel room.
XxX
Special Class Investigator Yukinori Shinohara and his partner Rank 3 Investigator Juuzou "The Psycho-kid" Suzuya walked into the CCG Center of the 20th Ward.
Chaos. Absolute chaos.
Analysts, running around like chickens whose heads were cut off, were talking into multiple phones at once. Rapid Response Teams kneeling down, eyes pointed straight ahead and alight with determination while drill sergeants screamed into their faces.
Kureo Mado, Shinohara's first partner and friend, sitting on a chair, staring at a cup of coffee in his hands.
Amon Koutaro, doing push-ups in the corner with his shirt off.
"Mado-san, what's going on?" Shinohara politely inquired, setting down his metal briefcase and taking a seat across from Mado.
Mado looked up, an unrecognizable look in his eyes. "Good evening, Shinohara-san. You're here because of Kakashi, I take it?"
Shinohara nodded, slightly worried. "Yes, HQ sent me to coordinate with all 20th Center Branch members to eliminate the ghoul Codename: Kakashi. I was one of the only free Special Class Investigators they had on hand, so they sent me and my partner, Suzuya-kun."
Special Class Investigators were incredibly rare. You couldn't just be strong. You had to be smart, have leadership, and be able to adapt on the fly.
Shinohara was one of the best the CCG had to offer. Sending him here showed just how serious the CCG was about taking out Kakashi.
Mado sighed. "Shinohara-san. The entire 20th CCG Center is in pandemonium because of what Kakashi did this morning."
Shinohara nodded. "I know. That's why they sent me."
Mado shook his head. "No, neither you nor the CCG truly knows. Kakashi, somehow, someway, managed to travel from the ground to a helicopter still in the air. All while dodging Q Bullets."
Shinohara blinked. "Wait, what?"
"His speed may even exceed Arima-san's."
Shinohara stared slack-jawed at Mado's words. "F-faster than Arima-san?!" He shook his head in denial. Such a thing wasn't possible. No no no. Definitely not.
"He has mastery over close-range combat. One look at the surveillance video when he attacked the CCG Center would tell you that. His speed and maneuverability is god-like. A battle against Kakashi would be immensely difficult."
Shinohara leaned back in his chair and smirked. "But not impossible, am I correct, old friend?"
An eager, excited, wild smile spread across Mado's face. "Of course."
Off to the corner Amon looked up. "Hold up. Are you saying we're going to fight Kakashi?"
Mado chuckled. "Oh, Amon-kun, don't you know my ambition? My one goal in life?"
Amon frowned. "You've never told me."
"I need to kill the Owl," Mado grinned. A grin that most would expect to appear on an insane person. "Compared to him, Kakashi is nothing."
Shinohara stood up. "Well then. Shall we plan out our strategy then?"
Mado drained the coffee and slammed down his cup, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "Absolutely."
Shinohara smiled - before he heard a familiar voice scream out "MAGGOT, YOU'RE FUCKING USELESS! GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED, NO, TWO HUNDRED PUSHUPS RIGHT NOW!"
Shinohara groaned. "Excuse me for one moment. SUZUYA, GET BACK HERE. YOU'RE AN INVESTIGATOR, NOT A DRILL SERGEANT."
Suzuya jogged over disappointedly. "Aw man. Screaming at those men was fun. Why can't we do it?"
Shinohara sighed. "Because it's not proper. Mado-san, Amon-san, this is Suzuya Juuzou, my partner."
"Nice to meetcha!" Suzuya held up two fingers in greeting.
Amon stretched out his hand. "Nice to meet you too."
The seconds dragged on as Suzuya stared at the extended appendage.
"Suzuya-kun, you're supposed to shake his hand," Shinohara explained patiently.
"OHH, I understand. I thought he wanted to fight, and you told me to never fight a comrade, so I was thinking about how to defeat him without you noticing-"
"Just shake his damn hand."
XxX
This was. . . aggravating, to say the least.
Kakashi stared down at the Hiraishin seal. He had tried once when he was younger to recreate the original Hiraishin. He had given up within the first three days.
And now, decades later, Kakashi once again not only had to figure out how the Hiraishin worked, but also to add an extra dimensional factor.
It wasn't going well.
XxX
Several hours later, Kakashi once again collapsed on the hotel bed, sinking into the soft cushion.
He had made absolutely no progress that afternoon. Even with his own unparalleled genius, Kakashi had been unable to figure out even the first layer.
This was going to take a long time. Months, perhaps even years.
And until then, Kakashi would be stuck in this new world without chakra or shinobi.
Most importantly, Kakashi wouldn't be with his friends and comrades and cute little students.
He sighed. While he enjoyed a little time to himself, as much as he hated to admit it, he'd grown accustomed to being with people.
As much as he hated to admit it, Kakashi wanted a friend. Or at least someone to talk to.
XxX
"I, too, happen to be interested in you."
And she embraced his trembling, eager form, bringing her head against his shoulder, and bit down.
Kaneki rarely swore. But he felt justified in this case. "Bitch what the fuck - OH SHIT GHOUL!"
XxX
"Kakashi will be wandering around tomorrow," Mado announced grimly.
Shinohara tilted his head. "How do you know?"
"It's in his nature. He's arrogant, and he wants to showcase his power. He already survived multiple CCG attempts on his life, why not another one?"
"That does make sense in a twisted sort of way," Shinohara raised his hand to his chin, deep in thought. "We just need to anticipate where he will be, then set a trap. The four of us should be able to take care of him."
Suzuya raised his hand. "Umm. . . I don't mean to be pessimistic here, but can the four of us even defeat him?"
Shinohara smiled patiently at Suzuya. "Kakashi may be fast, and he may be strong, but against the four of us, it'll be a winnable fight."
Mado nodded. "Do not underestimate our abilities, Suzuya. Shinohara and I are known as CCG's best for a reason. I also have faith in Amon-kun and you as well."
Amon pounded his fist into his palm. "Kakashi is going down."
"Yeah, but didn't he dodge sniper bullets that were traveling faster than the speed of sound?" Suzuya asked innocently.
Shinohara shook his head. "Whenever somebody says the speed of sound, people tend to think of insanely fast undodgeable things - but that isn't true. For example, a whip can travel faster than the speed of sound, but we can still dodge those. Kakashi was probably anticipating the sniper bullets and had began dodging the second he saw the muzzle flash, and perhaps even before that."
"Kakashi most likely has an ukaku kagune," Mado pressed his fingers against each other. "He'll tire quickly, and once he does, he'll slow down exponentially. There's a reason why Kakashi hasn't been fighting the CCG squads head-on."
"There's too many of us," Amon realized. "If he had to take care of all of us individually, even if he doesn't get a single scratch while doing so, he'll still be too tired by the end."
Mado smiled. "Exactly. That's why he's been running away from us every single time. It's not that he's baiting us or anything - it's because in a full-on battle, he'll lose."
"Whoaaaa you're really smart," Suzuya smiled up at Mado. "But then, why are your hands trembling? My hands used to tremble when I was afraid. Are you afraid, Mado-san?"
"Suzuya!" Shinohara admonished, but Mado stopped him with the raise of his hand.
"No worries, Shinohara. He's right. My hands are trembling," Mado leered at Suzuya. "But it's not from fear. It's from excitement."
"Oh!" Suzuya clapped his hands together, tilting his head to the side. "And are your eyes also different sizes because of excitement - "
"Suzuya!" Shinohara said again in exasperation. "We've talked about the language filter before!"
"We have. I tossed it out because it was getting annoying," Suzuya blinked.
Shinohara let out a suffering sigh.
"There's something I don't understand," Amon crossed his arms. "We'll win if we fight Kakashi head-on. But how do we do that? Kakashi will just run away every single time. He's too fast and agile."
"Isn't it obvious?" Shinohara raised an eyebrow.
"We bait him," Mado finished. "We lure him into a place where he cannot escape, and then finish him off."
"But how are we supposed to do that - " Amon was cut off when Mado walked over and grabbed several laptops. Amon slowly shook his head in horror. "No. Anything but that."
"I'm afraid we have to, Amon-kun," Mado grimly fired up a laptop. "We can't trust the analysts to do their jobs. They can't even navigate their way out of a paper bag, much less create an accurate psychological profile of Kakashi."
"To defeat the enemy, we must first gain an understanding of him," Shinohara explained. "We need to be able to predict him. We have to map out his everything."
"He was at a restaurant. Well, I want to know what he ordered, what was in the things he ordered, where those things came from, and the situations of the locations from whence the things came from," Mado narrowed his eyes. "I want to know everything."
"But that requires research! Hours upon hours of sitting in front of the computer!" Amon didn't exactly whine, as one does not whine to their superiors, much less when the superior is Mado. But he certainly groaned in protest when Mado slid him a laptop. "I'm a field investigator! I fight ghouls, not do research!"
"Well, we're pulling an all-nighter doing nothing but research," Mado said with a crazed grin. "By tomorrow morning, we're going to know everything there is to know about Kakashi. And hopefully, that will be enough information for us to lure him into a trap."
Suzuya summed up all of Amon's feelings in one sentence. "Fuck."
"Language!"
XxX
"Hey, so this young man is about to die. BUT - I have a great idea. How about we take the girl's organs, stick them into him, and see what happens?"
"Umm, Dr. Kanou, that's in violation of at least 8 different legal laws and pretty much every ethical law I can think of - "
"I'll give you a bonus."
"Here's the scalpel. Go wild."
XxX
Kakashi woke up. He stayed in bed unmoving for a few minutes, contemplating what he was going to do today.
He could read. There were several more volumes he hadn't finished yet. However, his stomach was starting to feel uncomfortable.
Kakashi was hungry.
What could he eat though? He didn't want to go full cannibal just yet. Well, okay, technically it wasn't cannibalism, but Kakashi regarded himself as a human.
Ghouls cannot consume human food.
Or could they? Have ghouls tried every human food in existence yet? Or did they simply bite down into an apple, tasted it, decided that it was disgusting, then swore off all human food? Kakashi doubted there had been any comprehensive testing or research performed.
Besides, ghouls not eating anything but human flesh? Kakashi was no medic nin, but even he could see that it was kinda implausible. There had to be something else ghouls could eat.
Kakashi just had to find out what it was.
Which means. . . it's time for Kakashi to go to the fanciest restaurants he can find and eat just about everything. All in the name of science, of course.
XxX
"Mmm this looks delicious," Kakashi smiled at the other occupants of the table. They. . . ignored him, surprisingly, instead focused on their phone calls. Kakashi thought that top-level executives of massive multinational corporations would have a little more self-preservation, but apparently, to these men, profit was more important than the ghoul sitting right next to them.
"Look, I don't care if we're going to end up destroying an entire ecosystem by opening up that factory. I was promised 200 million if I manage to raise our stock, and I will get the 200 million," one man barked.
Kakashi paused. And people thought ghoulswere the monsters?
At any rate. Kakashi dug into tempura shrimp. He spit it out immediately.
Shrimp's off the list.
Next: caviar.
Nasty.
Next: watermelon.
Disgusting.
Next: fish.
Ghastly.
And on it went.
Kakashi couldn't consume a single dish. Nothing.
Perhaps they were correct when they said that ghouls could only eat human flesh.
Kakashi sighed. "Thank you, gentlemen, for providing me food."
They didn't respond to Kakashi, instead still focused on whatever urgent matters a businessman would have.
Kakashi strolled out of the private room and stood still, observing the common area of the restaurant.
It was empty.
Kakashi was suddenly hit with a wave of deja vu. His fingers flexed in preparation. What would the CCG try this time? Hopefully not bullets. Bullets were loud, annoying, and they smelled frankly terrible.
The front door opened. Kakashi's eyebrows rose as a hunched-over white-haired man, a young black-haired glaring man, a friendly-looking man with a receding hairline, and Kakuzu's son came walking in, silver briefcases in hand.
"Yo!" Kakashi greeted them with a two-fingered peace sign. Were they finally taking the negotiation/peace talks route?
The friendly-looking receding hairline man smiled. "Good morning, Kakashi. My name is Shinohara. This is Mado, Amon, and Suzuya. We are Investigators."
Kakashi nodded slowly. "This is new. For once, you're not shooting first, asking questions after. I must say, it's a refreshing change of pace. Do you want something to eat? I hear that this restaurant's tempura is spectacular."
Mado giggled. "I like you, Kakashi. You're not like the other ghouls."
"I would certainly hope not," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Although I am rather curious: why the change in strategy?"
"Because Mado's a bitch and Shinohara's a bitch for listening to the bitch," Suzuya crossed his arms and pouted.
Shinohara groaned. "What he means," he translated, "Is that, after extensive research and analysis on you, we do not think that you are particularly aggressive or insane like many other ghouls."
Amon nodded. "As much as it pains me to say it, you're. . . you're. . ."
"Come on, Amon-kun. You can do it," Mado encouraged.
"You're. . . not. . . that. . . bad," Amon coughed immediately afterwards, as if trying to purge the words from his mouth.
Kakashi blinked. "Thank you."
"You have had numerous opportunities to kill CCG agents," why weren't Mado's eyes the same size? It became disconcerting after a while, "And you never did - only nonlethal attacks. On top of that, every single encounter we've had, you have never initiated a fight."
"From that, as unlikely as it seems, we can draw the conclusion that you're actually a peaceful ghoul," Shinohara continued.
Amon looked like he wanted to hurl.
"As a result," Mado reached out his hand. "We are extending you the opportunity to join the CCG as a special ghoul. A ghoul that kills other ghouls. You did, after all, walk into our Center the other day looking for a job, correct?"
Wow. A genuine job offer. "I'm interested," Kakashi walked forwards, ignoring how they tensed up. "Let's go."
They looked at each other. "Wait. You're going to accept?!" Amon asked incredulously.
Kakashi nodded. "It's not like I have anything better to do. Besides, protecting the public by exterminating threats. . . it's almost like my old job."
Well, okay. Old old job. It's been a long time since he'd been ANBU.
Although, at least this time, he can console himself by saying that the people he will kill aren't actually people. They're ghouls. They're not human.
Just like how Jinchuuriki aren't human?
The errant thought struck him like Obito's punch.
Were all ghouls truly bad? They ate humans, but after the extensive testing Kakashi just performed, humans are likely the only things they can eat.
Ehhhh whatever. It's not like he actually has to follow the CCG's orders. If ghouls are this world's equivalent to Jinchuuriki, then Kakashi will switch sides immediately. And probably start a revolution.
XxX
They drove a car. Probably to keep the public from panicking. Even so, Kakashi didn't like the ride at all. Being trapped in a confined space with four people, three of which emitting Killing Intent, was not fun.
When they walked into the CCG Center, agents and Investigators were already lined up to greet Kakashi, although several performed double-takes at seeing him actually show up.
"Welcome, Kakashi," they chorused.
Kakashi tilted his head. "Between you and me," he said to Amon, "I'm pretty sure I just walked into a trap."
Amon tensed up. "You're wrong."
Kakashi hummed. "I hope I am. After all, I'm trusting you. And I don't like it when I'm betrayed."
He then glanced around the interior, which is why he missed Amon's frantic gestures to Mado. Mado simply grinned back.
They stopped in front of the RC scanner.
"Go on, Kakashi," Shinohara smiled warmly. "We'll wait here; your interviewer is just up ahead."
Kakashi was silent for a moment. "This isn't the same scanner I passed through two days ago."
To their credit, Mado, Shinohara, Amon, and Suzuya didn't react at all.
"What do you mean?" Mado pointed with a crooked finger at the scanner. "What's wrong with this?"
Amon nodded enthusiastically. "We added a few bells and whistles, a maintenance check. But it's still the same scanner as before."
"Indeed," Shinohara spread his hands. "We're under orders to not follow you through. Go ahead, Kakashi."
Mini-Kakuzu didn't say anything, but he did make an attempt for a smile.
Kakashi merely stared at the agents and Investigators behind the four. "Somehow, I don't believe you."
Mado turned around - and promptly facepalmed. "You idiots!"
The Investigators had their silver briefcases out and the agents were pointing their weapon of choice at Kakashi. Fierce expressions were on their faces as they prepared for battle.
Kakashi laughed. The four flinched away from him. "Oh, Mado-san. I understand your pain. You're not the only one who've had to deal with knuckleheaded comrades."
If only Naruto was here. Then he'll probably deescalate the situation, resolve the conflict, and make everybody friends.
Kakashi wasn't Naruto though. He didn't have amazing persuasive powers; all he had was his combat abilities.
That, and his flair for dramatics.
"In any case, this 'RC scanner' is probably designed to neutralize me, correct?" Kakashi's guess was confirmed by several flinches in the agent/Investigator audience.
"God damn it, stop reacting! Haven't any of you played poker before?!" Mado screamed in anguish. "Stone faces!"
"And the rest of you are just the cleanup crew," Kakashi eye-smiled. "All just for little old me?"
Shinohara sighed. "The gig, Mado-san, appears to be up."
"Does this mean we can destroy, pillage, rape, kill, loot, and burn Kakashi now?" Suzuya asked happily.
Kakashi edged away from him. "I'm sorry?"
Shinohara sighed. "Suzuya. You're not a Mongol. When I introduced you to the History Channel. . . well. Please, at least try to maintain a good public image."
"Is that a yes?" Suzuya reached into the interior of his jacket.
Shinohara tilted his head. "It is."
"Awesome!" And in a flash, Suzuya was in front of Kakashi, small knives in his hand, an insane smile on his face.
"How the hell did you manage to pass the psychological test?!" Kakashi evaded every one of Suzuya's swipes. "Does the CCG even have psych tests?!"
"I don't know!" Suzuya attempted to kick Kakashi, but Kakashi grabbed his foot and swept out Suzuya's standing leg. Suzuya fell down but somehow bounced back up to his feet and continued his vicious assault.
"Everyone, stand down! Leave it to us! Just cover the exits!" Shinohara commanded in a loud, deep voice. Massive steel shutters slammed down, blocking the exits and trapping Kakashi inside. Kakashi was impressed. They constructed all of this in less than 24 hours. Not bad.
Mado ran forward at Kakashi, a green sword-like Quinque in his hand. Amon pulled out a black-red cylindrical club, and Shinohara had a giant black-red meat cleaver knife thing.
Kakashi dodged every one of Mado's attacks. Stabs, slices, feints and jabs - wait, what the hell? The green sword split into three sections and tried to close around Kakashi like a Venus fly-trap. It sliced down and into Kakashi. Blood came pouring out and Kakashi let out a pained cry. He collapsed to the ground - and then burst into smoke, a log in his place.
"Where did that come from?!" Amon gasped.
"'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.' -book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9," Kakashi spoke from the ceiling. He dropped down, landing without a sound. "The Holy Log always answers the call."
Kakashi's eyes widened as Shinohara suddenly stood in front of him. He was fast! Kakashi leaned backwards into a backhandspring, dodging the furious slice, and - hands sticking to the floor with chakra - unleashed a flurry of kicks.
Shinohara blocked them with his gigantic blade. Small knives streaked towards Kakashi, who detached himself from the floor and jumped up - right into Amon, who had raised his club and was ready to slam it down.
Mado rushed him from the side, sword held in front and a manic expression on his face. The three green tentacles waved around menacingly. Kakashi could see just how sharp it was.
Suzuya dashed forwards then threw eighteen knives at Kakashi in quick succession, laughing while doing so.
Shinohara jumped up with speeds that shouldn't have been possible with his size and directed his meat cleaver downwards, ready to unleashed a simultaneous attack with Amon and cleave Kakashi in two.
Checkmate.
Still in the air, Kakashi took a millisecond to admire their teamwork. If they had chakra, they would undoubtedly be excellent shinobi.
However, they don't have chakra.
The second Amon and Shinohara's Quinques were about to cleave/crush him and Suzuya's knives were about to hit him and Mado's sword was about to rip into him, Kakashi blurred.
His legs shot out in a midair split as he caught both Shinohara and Amon in the chest, knocking them back. Mado's sword shot forward - but Kakashi's right hand was already on Mado's chest in a powerful chest.
Kakashi's left hand shot up and plucked all eighteen knives out of the air, faint afterimages being left behind. Then, treating the knives like kunai, he threw all eighteen at once right back at Suzuya.
Shinohara and Amon crashed into the ground. Mado dropped down, gasping, the wind knocked out of him. Suzuya glanced down at the sudden slits in his clothing - yet not a single drop of blood fell to the ground. He was completely unharmed.
Kakashi eye-smiled at them. "Nice try. But you'll have to do better."
The group of Investigators/agents roared out a battle cry behind him. Kakashi turned around, slightly bemused as they all charged him, Quinques, knives, and guns in hand. Why did the four attack first? Shouldn't they have sent the small fry to wear him down before they engaged? Because clearly, those four were leagues above all of these.
Hmm. He hasn't done this in quite a long time, since he had been fighting against enemies that were extremely powerful, but against these civilians, he can do it.
Kakashi reached into his pant pocket. The vanguard halted their charge immediately, warily observing Kakashi. While ghouls typically only fought using hand-to-hand combat or their kagunes, Kakashi wasn't a normal ghoul. They didn't want to be surprised by a hand grenade or a flashbang.
They slowly backed away as Kakashi pulled out a. . . a book?
A manga. No, not just that. Judging from the front cover - and for a few, their personal experience - it was a porn manga. Pure hentai.
And Kakashi began to read.
"Umm. . . what are you doing?" One brave agent called out, having lowered his gun in confusion.
"I'm reading, of course," Kakashi replied cheerily, not even glancing up.
They shared looks. "But. . . why?"
"To find out what happens next," Kakashi giggled. It wasn't Mado's insane giggle; rather, it was the giggle of a man who'd just seen something. . . beautiful, and appreciated it heavily. "You see, Soujiro finally conquered his inner fears and he is about to - "
" - ravage Megumi and Tsubaki at the same time," Mado finished. "Damn, I loved that scene."
Everyone turned to Mado in surprise. There was a sudden deafening silence in the room.
Kakashi spoke first. "You've read this?" he asked delightfully.
"You've read that?!" Amon asked, appalled.
"Yeah," and for the first time since Kakashi's met him, Mado seemed to regard Kakashi with something akin to respect. "You may be a ghoul, but you have good taste. Tell me, have you reached the part when all five girls - "
"NO STOP!" Kakashi cried out. He coughed lightly. "I just acquired these books yesterday, and I haven't finished it all yet."
"Ah, my bad, my bad," Mado apologized. "I'll wait until you're done with the plot first."
"Pedophile," Suzuya said.
"Suzuya-kun, no! We don't throw around accusations like that!" Shinohara sighed. "And seriously, Mado-san? You're aware that your public image is already. . . dented, correct? This isn't going to help."
Mado blinked. "Are you sure about that?" He gestured at the crowd of young, male Investigators and agents, who were staring at him with reverence and admiration in their eyes.
"Point taken."
"You've read that?!" Amon repeated, somehow sounding even more horrified.
"It's good," Mado smiled. "Surprisingly good. We appear to have gotten off track. I believe that you all were about to attack Kakashi?"
Another battle cry went up as Kakashi began to read once more.
XxX
"The new ghoul on the block, Codename: Kakashi, has attacked the CCG Center again today! Once again, he walked out without a scratch on him. Joining me here is Special Class Investigator Shinohara, and expert ghoul killer."
Shinohara stared into the camera with a fixed smile. "Yes. Kakashi will die. Thank you."
The reporter coughed lightly. "Would you like to expand on that?"
Shinohara thought about the scene that afternoon. Kakashi effortlessly destroying everyone without even looking up from that damned book. Fighting the four of them all at once only using his legs (one hand held the book, the other hand was in his pocket.) Then pulling a smoke bomb out of nowhere and smashing it against the ground. There had been the sound of chirping birds, and when the smoke cleared, there was a hole in the steel shutters and Kakashi was gone.
"No. No I would not. On a completely unrelated note, all surveillance video of the incident has been lost. My most sincere apologies."
XxX
"Get Arima in here."
"Sir, he's on a long-term mission - "
"I said. Get. Arima. In here."
XxX
"That didn't go so well," Amon commented to Mado.
Mado sipped from his cup of coffee. "No, it did not. He was toying with us. We all walked away practically unharmed, with only minor bruises and scratches."
"So. . . plan A didn't work. Time for plan B? We have a plan B, correct?"
"Of course we have a plan B," Shinohara said soothingly. "We need to - "
"New plan," Mado announced. "In light of the new information, I think I know how to defeat Kakashi."
"Oh? How?" Shinohara inquired.
"Kakashi will not be lured by us, probably ever again. We've betrayed him and lost his trust," Mado stared into his cup of coffee. "However, we know that he likes women. It just so happens that I know someone."
Shinohara's eyes widened. "You don't mean. . . her?!"
Mado nodded. "She can seduce him. It will work. He won't suspect a thing."
Amon glanced between the two of them. "Who?"
"My daughter," Mado said. "Akira Mado."
I'm pretty sure I just broke the timeline. But that's okay.
Investigators are actually pretty powerful. I rewatched some scenes of Tokyo Ghoul, and they're definitely well above average compared to normal humans. I reckon they can fight some chunin and maybe even some weaker Jonin.
Needless to say, Kakashi will still be steamrolling over everyone he meets.
Thank you all for reading, and please review!
euphoric
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