I heard something I shouldn't have..
When I was coming back home from college in the evening, I overheard my parents talking...
So my guess was true afterall, I wasn't born out of consensual relationship..
I shouldn't have eavesdropped...but they were arguing and...this sucks
I'm nothing but a burden for dad, he probably didn't even want me...it hurts...
After the argument father left and dad sat on the couch alone and silent for an hour or so..I wonder what he was thinking at all..
But that was an hour ago too, I'm done indulging in self hatred too. I'm gonna grow up for dad, the least I can do is stop being a person that holds him back. Like gosh, I'm even a college student, I should at least have a job. I need to get back my grades together too and.....
And I need to deal with Aoi san, I've decided already. I'm not going to run away anymore. I will become more responsible so that dad can depend on me too...and Aoi san.....I will give her an honest chance this time. I'll take her words by heart and ofc if she betrays me, there's no option..I kill her and then I kill myself, yep! well that's what I've decided but...
That was an hour ago too! I'm back into self hatred after studying a little!!! AAAhhh maybe I should just give up!!!
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"Well you sure look splendidly ass whooped" Alex couldn't help but hold back his laughter when Zhuang came to his door at night again.
"Won't you let me in?" Zhuang asked.
"Mmm depends upon what you have to offer" Alex tilted his head in a chuckle.
"What do you want?" Zhuang replied abruptly.
"Heh, you didn't even think before answering, so...who broke your heart?" Alex chuckled and opened the door.
"No one, I just want to stay over for tonight because cops are still looking for me" Zhuang replied.
"What, you got no friends to crash over at?" Alex rummaged through the refrigerator.
"No, I don't" Zhuang replied closing the door behind him.
"You sure are sad, even I got friends" Alex tossed a bottle of soda at Zhuang which he caught.
Zhuang opened the can and took a sip while he watched Alex cover the windows and looked keenly over the mark on his neck that showed a little from the collar of his lab coat.
"Say, do you have a partner?" Zhuang asked.
"And why are you interested in my love life suddenly?" Alex grinned a bit.
"I was just wondering about that mark on the back of your neck" Zhuang looked away.
"I killed him" Alex replied narrowing his eyes. Zhuang was a bit shocked.
"Why?" Zhuang asked.
"Just kidding, he's in jail, I framed him for a crime he didn't commit" Alex shrugged "Apparently he cheated on me"
"Isn't that extreme?" Zhuang raised a brow and took another sip.
"Can't be helped, I'm possessive" Alex casually sat down on the couch and drank up as well "That was years ago though, I didn't hook up with any alphas after that, betas have their own charms and they don't argue about roles much or make it an issue of ego like alphas, so I could switch roles alot"
"What about heats?" Zhuang asked with quite the interest.
"Ah..I probably didn't tell you about that..remember that serum I gave your son to calm him down? That's one of my invention, it gives you artificial experience of getting a knot and calms you down. I developed that from Aoi chan's pheromone samples, but they always give me side effects...well it didn't give your son any..I guess I'll have to take data differences of fated pairs" Alex noted it down on a to do list that was always present on the table next to the couch, having incomprehensible scribbling on it.
"I am an alpha too" Zhuang said.
"Hm?" Alex tilted his head.
"You said you don't hook up with alphas" Zhuang mumbled.
"Hey, aren't you getting the wrong idea" Alex chuckled "It wasn't anything meaningful I just did it because I was pent up and you were available"
"I know, I was just wondering why I did that..maybe..I was frustrated too, after all I hadn't done it ever since I got out of jail, so it makes sense" Zhuang clenched on the can.
"Jail?" Alex raised a brow.
"I almost beat my ex's friend to death out of jealousy and he was probably some hot shot who went into comma because of me..so I got a tight sentence" Zhuang replied
"And you were calling me extreme? jealousy huh" Alex taunted.
Zhuang brushed off the subject and looked around the empty and spacious place "I noticed before too..but you live alone in this big house right?"
"Yeah I do..I got this house especially built for me, the secret basement is ofc not on the official map" Alex replied "My family died in a car crash when I was little but apparently my parents left me quite an inheritance, I built this house on that"
"What about now? do you work?" Zhuang asked with quite the interest
"Yeah, I work as a pharmacist during the days, keeps me updated with the medicines and allows me to access drug dealers easily.." Alex replied "but why ask all that?"
"Nothing really" Zhuang gulped down a mouthful of soda and got up putting the can in trash.
"Since you're here already, why don't you cook me something, you can cook right?" Alex trashed his can too and stretched his arms a bit before sitting on the couch and taking his notepad scribbling.
Zhuang didn't have to respond, Alex didn't expect a response either he simply watched Zhaung going through the refrigerator from the corner of his eyes. Zhuang got himself whatever was available and looked through the cabinets to see if there was anything he could use. Afterwards he started working up on something in the kitchen as Alex became comfortable on the couch while making his notes. It was instant noodles though since nothing else seemed available. Zhuang did give Alex a class onto getting healthier stuff to eat and at least get some vegetables in his refrigerator.
After the two had eaten, Zhuang did the dishes, though when he came back Alex had already fallen asleep on the couch. Zhuang did try to wake him up but he was sleeping so tightly and judging by the eye bags, Zhuang could tell he hadn't been sleeping enough so he probably just passed out. Zhuang sat down on his knees infront of the couch sitting up straight very mechanically and watched the other keenly for a while as if trying to create meaning out of things. Instead he ended up sleeping next to the couch while having his head resting on his own arms over the couch.
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"I'm here, I'm here hush" Yuki kept reassuring both herself and Keitarou. It had been hours since Yuki threw the hired guy out of the house and closed the door on Mari's face too. She had helped him into shower but keitarou wouldn't stop trembling and hiccuping. His eyes were all balled up into a stinging red too, he wouldn't get out from under the water, continuously washing himself over and over "Stop, Kei chan you're hurting yourself" Yuki did try to stop him every now and then verbally but she had to get under the shower herself trying to pin his hands.
She ended up being drenched in water trying to take control of Keitarou's frantic condition. All he did was sob and pant, stopped for a while and then sobbed again while cleaning himself over and over causing rashes on his skin everywhere. Yuki didn't want to be too forceful since he was scared as it is and whenever she did try to force upon him he panicked and would corner up. "Kei chan stay still, let me wash you..you have to let me touch you there, if we don't clean you properly you'll get sick..stay still.."
Out of necessity, she ended up fetching herself a piece of cloth and ended up tying Keitarou's wrists together. It had to be done, he wasn't sane and nor cooperative. The longer his hands were free, the more he was hurting himself.
They were both sitting on the bathroom floor while Yuki held the shower head in one hand having her wet black hair covering half her face. "Does it hurt? I'm sorry Kei chan, I'm sorry..." She began to sob too, her face was a total mess too. Nevertheless her fingers didn't stop, she cleaned him thoroughly even when he resisted. At some point he gave up and sat there motionless letting her do it.
She properly got him dressed afterwards, blowdried his hair and warmed some old stored food having his lifeless body eat and take medicine.
"She shouldn't have done this, you shouldn't have let her" Yuki gently stroked Keitarou's hair having his head in her lap while he was silent and curled up "Kei chan!" Yuki got a little angry at him but whenever she looked at him, her eyes filled up "Kei chan, do you remember? When we were little and I used to get bullied for being an omega and you always fought with all of them and you promised me that you will always protect me, right?" Yuki spoke with tear filled eyes while stroking his hair "Kei chan.. I thought that too...I wanted to protect you too..you were the closest thing I had to having a family..you, me, Mari chan and Aoi san...we used to be so innocent and now we are all each other's enemy..."
Keitarou only made feeble attempts of breathing while laying still and barely blinking too
"It's neither of ours fault, you were too young to know the consequences of our sins, Haru chan's death was not your fault, you just didn't know what the suppressants meant for him..it was a childish prank. Neither it was Mari chan's fault for making his heat worst...nor your dad's who acted out of vicious laws of nature and ended up killing the child..just a cruel cruel play of fate...just like right now..."
The doorbell rang, Keitarou wasn't moving nor did Yuki move but then suddenly he responded to the voice
"Keitarou kun? You home?" It was Akio's voice.
With a sudden gush Keitarou got up and combed his hair with his fingers, buttoned his sleeves, fixed his clothes and looked at the mirror. Yuki was dumbfounded, he even pulled his lips with his fingers into a smile then rushed to the door.
"Akio san!" Keitarou opened the door with a cheerful expression. Akio came in with fresh packed food.
"Did you eat up already? I brought food" Akio said.
Yuki came out from Keitarou's room, since her clothes had gotten wet while she was giving Keitarou a shower, she had borrowed Keitarou's shirt while only wearing underwear underneath.
Akio's eyes widened seeing her.
"Ah..I...I borrowed his clothes since I accidentally dripped soup on mine.." Yuki's voice cracked pulling out a lie. Keitarou got nervous too, Akio didn't really like the atmosphere.
"I should come by another time" Akio said turning back.
"NO, I mean stay..Akio san.." Keitarou grabbed at his arm, not letting it go
Akio tried to read the atmosphere but he couldn't really figure out what was going on. All he could tell was something was being kept a secret from him and he didn't like being pushy.
"I'll..go check..if my clothes are dry.." Yuki said nervously and escaped from the situation.
"Who's that?" Akio asked in a low voice, not trying to sound to inquisitive but couldn't really hide his irritation.
"She's like a sister, we were raised together, daughter of one of our servants..he died early and she didn't have any relatives so my dad ended up keeping her for the sake of Mari chan" Keitarou told honestly. Akio did believe him but he also knew that this wasn't all there is to it so there was no point in asking any further question since Keitarou wasn't willingly telling him.
"Have you eaten?" Akio asked, Keitarou nodded a no even though Yuki had already made him eat "I'll serve you" Akio said and walked past Keitarou to the kitchen, unpacking the food.
"Hey daddy..can I ask you something?" Keitarou slowly walked up behind him.
"Hm?" Akio only nodded in agreement.
"What do you like about me?" Keitarou asked nervously
Akio turned to look at him, Keitarou wouldn't meet eyes with him even if Akio looked that way
"I should be the one asking that" Akio replied
"I don't have a cliché reason or anything, I just like you daddy, you're handsome, charming, caring and your cooking is too good but most of all is that I feel an undeniable attraction towards you, both sexually and romantically; Is that a worthy reason?" Keitarou asked.
"Is that so, so you're in love with my looks huh?" Akio sighed dramatically .
"Eh?! no!!! I mean yes, your looks are a part of the reason but not the whole, like there are alot other reasons too.. like the way you are so cool and calm and powerful and-" Keitarou became quiet for a little while when he looked at Akio's face, Akio had a light smile on seeing him struggle so much at this.
"I like alot of things, they're even cliché, like the way you just cry when you are happy, angry sad or just bored, the way you are so sloppy with drinking and you can't fight at all, the way you jump when you see a bug, the way your eyes get all sparkly when you're upto something and even the way you try so hard to keep a normal facade when you're breaking apart inside..I love all of it..I love all of you even though you kiss like a child" Akio confessed with a gentle smile.
Keiatrou couldn't stop himself after that, he leapt forward into Akio's arms and cried his heart out. Akio couldn't understand what overcame him but he rubbed his back silently, silently consoling him.
Hoping that one day...
One day Keitarou will tell him all about his fears and secrets and let his perfect image shatter to bits so that Akio can pick them up to fuse them back together with his own broken pieces and fill each other's voids.
Until that day......
Until that particular day.......