"I've never done this before but I think you can do it. My mother said if it works it's like playing a movie in someone's mind. Showing them a part of your life, but it has to be from one vampire to another. so if it works you know your at least part vampire. Close you eyes and concentrate."
I'm concentrating trying to feel anything, everything. My body is hot, I feel like I'm seated in a hot top it's warm and relaxing. I don't know if I'm doing this right. I've got to try I bite his wrist harder, I feel my teeth in his skin. concentrate, I'll focus on when I introduced myself.
I see my face flash up with my first day uniform, I feel sad, confused, tricked.
I see a bunch of angery kids yelling, I feel hurt, betrayed
focus on a girl, she's smiling evilly in the crowd of angery kids
, now she leading him now a hall with a sweet smile. I fill happiness
she's kissing him there is joy excitement,
he s strapped to a poll. I'm terrified, nurves, confused, she betrayed him, I feel so hurt.
They throw buckets of blood on him, I feel sad and ashamed.
Another flash different kids older pushing, punching.
Being turned down for teams
excited from groups. so sad, so isolated
. My face again no the roof, he was sad he thought I was telling him to stay away. He was afraid I was trying to trick him. He was confused by my smile. He was worried about the smell of werewolf.
I'm holding him and calm and happy but confused.
I'm telling at Aaron for being mean to him, feeling suppriced, not alone, trusting.
I'm holding his hand leading him throw the crowd, he's worried, feeling exposed, he doesn't trust me but he wants to.
. I'm crying I'm dirty and have blood on me this is at the abandoned building. he's scared, afraid of death, he is confused why I'm crying, he's worried about me he is happy that I care. he's angry I'm forcing him.
he suppriced I'm pulling his hair, I'm kissing him he's falling for me I feel the racing heart and pain in my chest the butterflies in my stomach.
the fear when I passed out fallowed by shame and confusion, Anger
he's trying to wake me he's crying he tried to stop the bleeding, he's afraid of lossing me.
He's rapping my wonds with his ripped up shirt. hopefully sad
he is starting at me from across the room, depressed, angery, hating himself.
flashes of me smiling on after I woke, joy, happiness, love, confused.
kissing under the tree, Bliss supprise and love.
I open my eyes I stopped tears are rolling down my face I know he lived it but I felt all of it as if it was me... I turned to Alex his face was puzzled. I hugged him tightly.
"so it worked what did you see?"
"I didn't see much mostly flashes of images. I don't see much but I felt what you felt. The emotions, the pain. why were people so mean?"
" people fear what they don't understand and what they can't control. so was it all bad?"
"most of it, but there was me and your feelings for me. I know now how hard it is for you to have the feeling you do."
"yeah... and"
"thank you for trusting me, and letting me in your heart."
he looks embarrassed. doesn't say anything. I rub his cheek to chin and my fingers on his lips. I kiss him holding him close.
"I'll never betray you", I whisper.
"I know."
"understand why I was kept isolated by my parents. they wanted to protect me from all of that, all the pain you went through. I feel like I just took an emotional rollercoaster. will you hold me."
"as you wish"
I roll over and facing the wall he holds. me tight his skin is cool against mine. so I cover us up.
"you should try blood memories with me. I tell him. I focused on a shead memory and it just opened up to all the tied emotions."
"you want me to?"
"yeah I feel like I've known you for years in just a couple of minutes. Its amazing like I was with you."
"I can try"
I close my eyes and relax, he moves the hair off my neck gently rubbing then kissing it before biting down.
I lay with my heart racing, trying not to bother him so he can focus. It feels so good though, part of me wishes I had never met Aaron. His jealousy has made it really hard to be close with Alex. Everytime I get close he jumped in. Do I even have any deep rooted feelings for Aaron? like I do for Alex? does Aaron. have any feelings outside of jealousy for me?
Why can't it just be me and Alex in the world. I wouldn't have to hold back, I would be having sex right now, with biting and pulling hair, passionate kisses and embracing. We could take on the world. come to think about it every time I've been faced with the choice I've picked Alex. I'm enjoying the biting him holding me tight. the feel of his body pressed against mine. I want to always be here for him. I feel his heart beating faster. I never want to lose him. I think this is love. I don't want to leave his side. I want to give him every part of me.
He stops biting and licks the blood left behind.
"I want to kill him." Alex said quietly, "but I won't because you care."
I turn to him "what did you see? Who do you want to kill?"
"I saw everyone tell you I was dangerous, I could see and hear and feel. I could feel that everything you have told me was genuine. You really care about me. you stayed up late drawing my eyes wondering why they were so sad. I saw your childhood, Father gone for long periods of time, mother busy with her business. The long days schooling. The hours watching the children out side. Never even being aloud to play with them. your distant family not knowing either side of your family. your joy and confusion with the school. I felt what you felt for me when you defended me, waited for me, looked for me, when you held me, when you saved me, kissed me. And Aaron trying to stop you every step of the way. trying to warn you, scare you, he brought you her to my room to try and sleep with you knowing I would be coming back. He knew you was unhappy and he continued. then you forgave him?"
"wow that's a lot" I responded.
"that's not all I know you have fallen for me, I know you see no reason to pursue a relationship with Aaron out side of friends.
Most of all I know your think about being my partner for life and having sex with me. You want the world to see us together."
"um well, I may have been thinking about that... but.." I know I'm blushing.
"don't worry I know your not ready... I have to make you forget him first" he kisses my forehead and holds me.
I spent the night in his room, kissing with blood strained lips, and exploring each other's body's. With our closing on I'm not ready to do more, despite what my hormones are telling me.
He returned me to my room early morning before the sun rise. I am afraid things may have gotten too heated, especially just for friends.