I am khara, a 17 year old gay boy who is single and love man ass.
Sadly though this gai boy grew up lonely when people discovered he was gay. The guys thought he wanted to flirt with them when he was just trying to start up a conversation, and the girls think he's weird, you know the classic lonely child. Definitely not an overused cliché or something.
Anyway I live in an old shabby apartment alone, working as a cashier with an annoying boss who loves sucking Karen's toes. At least that is what think he does since he lacks common sense, just like most of the customers.
One day while I was driving my bike back to my home, an expensive lookin' car turned around a corner at a very fast speed, and because of that, he drifted from the excess speed. I tried turning away but the car was too fast. So I was forced to abandon my bike and jump it. After doing a sexy front flip I, with precision and using my very aerodynamic body, landed face first on the cold-ass road and rolled on the ground a lot before stopping.
Looking at the sky I had a lot of neck pain from landing on the asphalt head first, and my legs took alot of damage from spinning on the ground. Lucky for me I've been using my bike to go to work every day and only had vacations once every four months. So my calves were big enough to feed a small family. I endured the pain and tried to use my hands to lift my head and check on my poor bike. My bike was thrashed but the sexy car crashed to a lamp post '' Serves you right for destroying my beloved bike, it honorably served me for like a year or something '' Man my priorities were right on point. At least I didn't die, sure my legs are fractured and my neck is throbbing in pain but at least I'll get to relaxed on a hospital bed and enjoy shi**y hospital food while relaxing for a few days. I endured the pain and tried my best to stand up to see if I can find my phone. It's an old ass Nokia my gramps gave me so it must have survived somewhere. When I stood up I heard a noise, it was a honk I think,my ears are ringing so I couldn't hear much then I realized... '' A HONK, LIKE ANOTHER CAR?!?! ''. But before I knew it, I saw my beloved Truck-kun going to her usual speeds of like, 90 mph and I was forced to embrace the light. I was kinda pissed since I was still a virgin that didn't taste some sweet ass. Then I felt a thud and felt nothing for a while.
'' I'm alive? ''
I looked around me, but I saw nothing just an empty vacuum. Then I saw a tall figure come to me. I wanted to say something, but then I realized I had no body and I'm just a floating...thing?Either I am a really deformed triangle or a tiny di**. Then before I realized it the figure was right in front of me and he was wearing a white robe and he had a long beard. He then sat on a simple chair which spawned of out nowhere, and he finally spoke.
" I know you are confused right now, but let me explain'' He then snapped his fingers and I went back to being a human and not a suspended l floating penis, I then fell down to a chair that also came out of nowhere and I stared directly at the old man. He spoke and said ''As you may know, you are dead'' my face froze... so I'm really not dreaming I'm not in a hospital bed were there is sexy doctor checking my vitals while I stare at his man boobs?
'' Calm down khara, I know this is hard to understand but you really are dead" then I realized something "Does that mean you, are God?!" he gave a soft smile and said "well technically yeah I am God as you people call me, and you are with me right now where we are going to talk about what will happen next" I was confused, next? "Will I go to heaven?" "Well... not really" God said calmy while still smiling.
Then I remembered, I was a gay man in earth. Then I quickly jumped out of my chair and sat on my knees then gave my deepest bow and yelled "I'm sorry for being an atheist who didn't believe in the almighty you, and for sinning to gay midgets with a 69 gigabyte homework folder" I said apologetically.
He stared at me for a bit and gave a hearty laugh "Don't worry, how can you believe there's a God with very little proof, and although you have...'different' tastes in people. I don't really care, here sit down please." I quickly obeyed his words, then God snapped his fingers again and a table popped up and a fancy small cup of what looks like tea appeared and God picked it up, and the said happily "What would you like, tea, Monster, Coke, or Pepsi
" I-I will just have a bagel. No... two bagels. " God smiled and two cream cheese bagels appeared. I stared at them for a while then I ate them... and they tasted amazing! Like a master chef making an amazing cheese oriented meal and stuffed it all into a delicate formation of cheezy heaven and added two freshly made slices of perfect bread. I quickly finished one of the bagels and slapped my belly with amusement.
"I see you enjoyed that, anyway let's go back to business" then I realised if I'm not going to heaven, where am I going? " I know what you are thinking, and this will sound odd, but I will take you to another world. You know, like the fantasy adventure novel thing that you people love to make stories about.
My mood changed instantly, another chance to get some ass! "So will you give me some overpowered skills like an infinite sized invintory and like an infinite mana pool!?" I was a hyper weeb in my early days so I loved to binge some corny novels. God looked at me and continued "I will give you a body that looked like you completely and maybe a few tools to survive, but other than that you better pray to a different God since you'll be alone" he said while giving a cheeky smile "But since I'm not that heartless I will give you a little extra gift for you" my excitement dissapated a little but then my sorroundings around me turned blurry and I passed out.