~Markus~
When I first met her, I didn't think that she would possibly be so loaded. Of course, with her appearance, who would?
There were, however, some signs of wealth that I noticed. For instance, how her jewelry and clothing was usually top-tier compared to anyone else's, and how she strutted around as if she'd just gotten her biggest paycheck of the year. At the beginning of our relationship, I took these things with a grain of salt. But as I became more attentive, I started seeing just how rich she actually was.
Although she was filthy rich, she didn't seem to enjoy it. When I mentioned her money to her she would always try to avoid the subject, giving me an expression of resignation. That's how I knew that she wasn't too attached to her assets.
So, of course, what else was there to do except take advantage of that fact?
I feel bad to confess that when I originally met her I actually enjoyed her company. I believed that Ramona was quite pretty and a nice time to be around. But if you were to take a glance at her only a couple of years later, you saw what she actually was: a stupid, hideous monster with no sense.
And no, I don't feel guilty about what I did. I don't feel sympathetic for idiots. That girl was already so broken and silent about herself, so what was wrong with me wanting to give her a little... push?
If Ramona is still at that house with our neighbor, and still the person I saw her as last, then it shouldn't be too difficult getting her back. If she has changed, however, it might just be the most tedious thing that I will ever do.
But, yes. To me, she's still the Ramona that I know. She's still sad and pathetic to look at. She's still a pile of human trash. The next time that I see her and talk to her, she won't have become different at all. And the next time that I hit her, her skin will be as it was last. I will also still be the Markus that she knows, the Markus that she FEARS.
To her, I know that I'll still be her "boyfriend". Love lasts forever~
And if my love for Ramona's money is like romantic love, then there will be an infinite supply of it. If love lasts forever, then I might as well get the most out of love that I can, right?
Right, Dad?
Isn't that what you taught me...?
~~~
~Liam~
11 years ago
Anytime that we stepped outside now, we realized just how unforgiving the winter of Colorado was. Or rather, we came to know how harsh the weather had turned, and how the top of the Rockies was obviously going to be the coldest.
Honestly, we had no idea why our mother had decided to move us up here--from the higher points of Colorado Springs, it was quite difficult to get to town. We were mainly unable to get to a grocery store or anywhere fun. Plus, the wind would usually be howling too hard up here for us to go anywhere at all.
But here, on a particularly frigid day...
My hair whipped behind me in the wind, hitting the nape of my neck and making me shiver. Bundled up in my stuffiest parka and yanking gloves over my fingers, I shoved Kathryn's pair of gloves into my pocket before descending.
The stones beneath my feet slid together when I walked on them, absolutely covered in broken bits of ice. Although the path down to our house's well was frozen by the glacial temperatures, I saw that there were still faint signs of footprints on the ground. The snow was already sheltering the road to the well but I knew that Kathryn had been here already.
"So she's down there, huh..."
Hot breath blew into the slightly fogged air, coming out in puffs of white. Some vague part of me regretted not bringing along a hat or a hood since sleet and snow were whirling from above. I was left to simply attempt to cover my frozen ears with my chilled hands, and that obviously wasn't going to help.
I noticed her shadow through the mist of white before I even got off the final step--her silhouette, dark and quiet. Standing on bare concrete and ripping her scarf off her mouth, she didn't greet me as I approached. From the sheer amount of breath escaping into the air I could tell that she'd been working pretty hard, while all I was doing was lazing around up at the house. Pulling her beanie over her head and dropping something to the floor, she finally silently waved at me.
"Hey, Kath. What are you up to?" I tried speaking quietly at first but the noise of the wind made that quite difficult.
She sighed, exasperated and letting her hands fly into the air with resignation. "Ugh, I've got no idea. Ya'know, the old man told me to chop wood down here..." Kathy wiped her brow. "but I've been doing it too long, and now..."
Kathy stopped suddenly, letting her head bonk against the side of the frozen well. Her eyes slipped shut, her fingers rubbing her temples like she had a headache. "Liam, could you help me out? I'm pretty sure that Dad will be pissed if I don't finish things up."
I wanted to groan at her request, but she was right. Our father would get really angry at her rather than forgive her for not getting things done. Although Kathryn was capable in my eyes, I supposed that she also had her weak points...
"Fine, fine. But you'll have to treat me to banana pudding later otherwise I won't do it at all." I scanned the ground for the ax until I spotted it right next to her leg; that was probably what she had dropped earlier. Lifting it off the concrete with a slight effort I heaved it over my shoulder and stumbled towards the woodpile.
I noticed Kathryn huffing with exhaustion from the corner of my eye, but that only made me a bit more annoyed with her.
A chunk of wood was already there, and I set it straight on the concrete platform that was already there. Then, silently pulling the ax up through the air, I smashed its blade straight into the wood.
A huge WHACK and a gasp were all I heard as I picked up the pieces of timber. From the edge of the well came a bit of a shaken voice.
"Jesus, kiddo, you scared me shitless. You're stronger than you look, I suppose~" I could almost hear her smirk but I didn't dare to glance over at Kathryn. She was now hugging her knees on the ground, quiet and seeming burdened, in some way.
But my eyes caught on her even after I looked away, even while I was attempting to chop more wood for her. It was like I was unconsciously suspicious of her movements yet I didn't know how to observe them.
A tiny sound then carried out into the wind, small and powerful and something else I couldn't quite identify. I wanted to sigh heavily at her appearance but managed to stifle it--Kathy was different than she usually was, and that probably wasn't going to be a good sign.
As I slammed the ax into the next piece and pulled it up from the concrete, I heard another WHACK... but there was also something else. It was hushed and faint like it was hiding in the background. And as I turned my intrigued head towards the source of the noise, I knew instantly what it was when I saw Kathryn.
A crack of someone's voice... just before they cried.
And, as my eyes widened with shock and tears slipped down my supposedly strong sister's cheeks, something so silent flew into the snow that maybe I didn't hear it at all.
"Hey, Liam... don't ever..." Kathryn's eyes slid off her palms and greeted me hesitantly, "become like me."
"Promise me you'll be different."
~~~
~Ramona~
It was dark outside even in the afternoon, the house silent and filled with some sort of tension. Winter hadn't come just yet, but that didn't mean that Autumn wouldn't strike in full force.
Rain poured down the sides of Liam's house like a hurricane, and we were stuck inside for the time being. Although rainwater was sliding down the windows and the air smelled of must, the supposed peace we should've felt from that wasn't there at all.
Instead, what replaced the serenity was pressure. Pressure that weighed down on us and shot through our bones like a bullet and sucked all the life out of us. We had no motivation, no ideas. And honestly, that can't possibly be a good look on anyone.
It was November. Quiet, dreary, and gloomy outside at 2 in the afternoon. The trees shook with freezing wind and the number of warm things we stuck on would never be enough. Our eyes would catch on every detail that revealed itself to us, and our minds would flicker to the other every few moments. Perhaps these actions were out of concern for the opposite person or maybe it was simply out of boredom; we didn't know. But what we did know, however, was...
Markus had sent another letter. He was active.
It had come the very day before, right after 3 in the afternoon. Life was surprisingly tranquil in the few moments before it occurred. I was in the shower, spacing out and twisting my split ends between my fingers.
My body had changed in two different ways since living with Liam:
Number one: I had definitely fattened up from Liam forcing me to eat things every day. It was like he was my own personal trainer or something, except... he didn't force me to exercise, but rather, he made me do things that I usually neglected to do during my time at Markus's place.
I usually neglected to do anything even remotely similar to self-care, though...
Number two: I wasn't having as many panic attacks lately, and my fears about Markus popping up had been alleviated for the moment. But it wasn't like they had completely disappeared or anything. They still existed.
Sometimes even Ramona Syleman herself can get tired of being stressed out~
My eyes twitched slightly, liquid dripping off my hair and splashing onto the drain as I stepped out. Some part of me vaguely let my mind dance as I dried off, the silence enveloping me. I wondered faintly about what Liam was off doing... he was probably writing a poem or trying some sort of recipe.
By now, my hair fell long past my shoulders and far beyond my chest, ending just by the end of my waist. And since I was 5' 8", that would mean that my hair was about...
Two feet long? Really, now?
I managed a light sigh, my glasses fogging when I slid them onto my face. Slipping out of the bathroom stealthily and shutting off the lights when I left, I had just made it to the edge of the stairs when I heard it.
The doorbell, again. Ringing. Loud and grating.
It made my vision blur and my eyes wrench shut and sweat start to bead on my forehead. It made me want to scream and kick someone and slap something so hard it turned purple. But the world--it didn't stop. Not like before, where our entire environment, the whole house had halted to a shivering, stuttering thing frozen in time.
Nothing happened at all.
Nothing occurred except the fact that I was the only one who was different.
The front door slammed beneath my feet, Liam's voice carrying out into the silence and catching on the last word. Hesitation?
"Ramona" was all he said, and it was I needed. It wasn't just a simple statement, or an inquiry asking me to come down to meet him. It was a command.
I knew that I was trembling from terror as I descended down the steps, my legs quaking with every movement. I knew that my eyes probably looked wild and my cheeks were flushed. And, of course, I realized just what the doorbell had rung for.
Liam greeted me at the bottom of the steps with a solitary gaze. My cheeks burned red and a sour taste swelled on my tongue, but I tried my best to ignore it. Even though nausea was quickly spreading through my stomach and nerves, I wanted to get through this situation while remaining calm. Although Liam seemed solemn, he handed me the envelope in his palms with a hushed Here. My eyes twitched as I stared down at it, the paper twisting between my fingers and leaving ugly wrinkles on the white. Harsh breath whooshed out of my lungs in heavy gasps as I ripped the letter open, paper falling to the floor without a sound.
Liam didn't move. Nobody did. I suppose that we were simply mesmerized by what we saw; the sight of a message, addressed to Liam Milsken, that only stated two words. Yes. I think that just witnessing this occur made us so susceptible to amazement that we just couldn't comprehend what was going on anymore. But Liam seemed to snap out of his reverie before I did.
He straightened up, unblinking, poker-faced and silent. Bracing his hand against the wall, he leaned against it and crossed his legs together in a sort of sassy manner. His eyes falling shut and no longer emerald-green, Liam settled himself like he was waiting for me to do something.
Obviously... waiting for me to pick it up. Even though we both knew what it said.
Swallowing, I crouched onto the ground and gingerly touched the letter, holding it with my shaking hands. My eyes slipped closed for just the barest of moments--then they came open again with sweat trickling down the side of my forehead.
It read,
I'm coming.
Liam very suddenly wheezed out a laugh after a beat, holding his sides with his arms. "Whatever the hell that means!" His smile showed every dimple on his face, every beaming light that could possibly come out of the sun was reflected in his expression.
After a minute of giggling, he was struggling to breathe, wiping tears from his eyes with a finger. All the while during this phenomenon I stood breathless, blinking at him without saying a word. He nearly choked for a couple of seconds, but after letting out a startling cough or two he was ready to speak again.
"Geez. Sorry to scare you like that, Ramona, but I didn't think that something like this would happen either." Liam managed to pull himself off the wall and start twisting some strands of his hair between his fingers. "I'm probably wrong for bursting out laughing like that. But honestly, do we want to spend our days feeling gloomy?"
His eyes flickered over to mine. "I don't want to. Do you?"
I gave an anxious, breathy laugh before speaking, which made me look all the more awkward. "I don't. But I also don't want to just wait for things to happen."
Liam quirked an eyebrow at me. Curiously, like he was expecting me to speak more about it. I delivered.
"To be frank, most of the time we've been here has been nice, but it's also just ignoring the obvious..." I glanced up at Liam before seeing his expression and practically slamming my gaze down onto the floor again, "...so I think that we should be focusing on other things. Not just spending time sitting around."
Liam didn't move but he sighed heavily. The silence growing between us made the rain pound on the roof even harder, water sliding down the glass just as thunder rumbled in the distance. Even though the lights were on in the house and I could see clearly, the green boring into my very soul made the world dark and leaving me suddenly self-conscious.
But Liam laughed, still. A cheeky grin on his face and putting his dimples on full display, he patted me on the shoulder once before waving me off. "Sure, sure. I can't deny you there."
Liam stepped into the kitchen and disappeared into the library.
~~~
~Ramona~
16 years ago
I wasn't always Ramona Syleman. You could ask me what the origin of my name before was, but the better story is how I lost it.
I remember the moon and not much else. But Mother's hands were warm and soft around my body, holding me like I was a buoy in the ocean. Maybe that was what we really were, our life together--an endless ocean without any rocks to grip onto.
Her fingers ran through my hair on the windowsill, her only light source the shining of the moon. She twisted it and twirled it somewhat anxiously, wrapping it around her hand and curling her arm around my stomach. Like a snake coiling, circling its prey in the dead of night.
Coil. Slither. SNAP.
A neck breaks when the snake refuses to let go. SNAP. SNIP. SNAP. It's almost delicate, the sound that the spine makes. It teeters on the edge of breaking until it finally, finally lets go and submits to Death.
SNAP.
Mother snapped a singular hair off my head, and I winced. But I was still silent for fear that she would turn on me, yell. Scold me. When she didn't do either of those options I found myself deeply confused.
Her eyes, shrouded by the moonlight, were wistful and seemed to be staring at something that didn't exist. "Lynn. Do you know how you used to be?"
I blinked. How did I use to be other than who I am now?
Her gaze was averted to me for the barest of seconds, her lips curling in what I assumed was meant to be a comforting smile. But to me, it just seemed like the glare of an evil monster grinning at me cruelly.
"You used to be... so small. Pygmy, microscopic. If you were out by that time then you could easily fit in the palm of my hand." Mother's eyes burned into mine, cold and fiery. "But look at you now~"
I involuntarily yelped when she snapped yet another hair off my head, but this time it was several at once. She held them open-fisted, palms showing off what she probably thought was an achievement. "You're all big and mature, aren't you now? Just a few years ago you were nothing. Now you're something else entirely."
Her fingers clenched in a tight fist, she trembled behind me for a moment before opening her hand once more and letting the strands fall to the windowsill we were on. Mother chuckled a deep, throaty laugh, which made me want to shiver.
"And since you're such a big girl, I thought that I would tell you some important news, dear."
I blinked up at her, daring to catch her eye. "What is it...?" My voice was small.
She laughed again, but this time it seemed like she was simply exhausted. "You know the man I was dating? He proposed to me a few nights ago."
Which man was it this time? The one with the beard? The one with too much cologne? Either way, I didn't believe anything could be compared to how Daddy acted. Flashes struck through my memory like lightning, loud and clear as Mother continued.
"And since we're getting married, do you know what'll happen, Lynn?" Mother asked.
"No," I replied, just barely letting out a whisper of response.
Mother sighed, once more twisting my hair. "Your name will be different. Not Lynn Auckerman, but something else. Do you understand...? You'll have to, really."
I didn't say anything.
Snap. More hair disappeared and fluttered to the windowsill. It reflected on the glass, the sight of Mother ripping out my hair.
"I never liked Lynn anyway, but David says he wants to keep it in some way." Mother rested her head on her arm like she was bored, "Your name will now be Ramona Lynn Syleman."
I didn't like that name.
Mother continued. "Apparently it means 'wise defender', or just 'defender,'" she scoffed harshly, "but it's not like you're either of those things."
"I'm not Ramona, Mommy, so why do--"
Snap.
No, not hair being ripped. A slap smacks on my cheek, leaving it swollen and blistering red. People will ask me if I've got a cold or a fever, and I will simply respond with, "Mommy said not to tell".
"Don't call me that! You know fully well that I'm not going to be referred to as your common slang. Mother is my name, you fool."
I rubbed my cheek. "I'm sorry."
I wasn't. I wanted my name back. I didn't want to be this person Ramona. If I was suddenly her, then who was Lynn? Who was the girl on the windowsill doused in the moonlight with her mother stroking her hair? Who was she, Lynn?
Who took her?
~~~
~Liam~
I don't often notice things about myself, nor do I have what others call "self-revelations". But if there's anything out there that I am attentive to, then it is the mannerisms of the person that is constantly, constantly standing before me.
She's not you, Kathryn. Nobody could compare, but yet... maybe she's just some distant form of you that I have long forgotten. She certainly seems like you--wistful, anxious--but also a force to be reckoned with.
Ramona herself probably doesn't think of herself as such. And if we'd only been here for a few days I wouldn't think so either. But now, after several weeks and too many hours spent speaking, I have a solid impression of who she is:
Ramona Syleman is the type of person who, when she steps out of the shower, waves her ridiculously long hair around so she can whip you with it. Ramona is the kind of girl who will absolutely refuse to stick things in her eyes even if it means getting nearly strangled by a man. She's the person who always tries to slip black beans in brownies, even if you claim you're allergic. Ramona will knock on your door at 3 AM when you're playing violin by yourself and call you beautiful. She'll stare at the forest outside as if she's looking at nothing at all, but everything in the world, all at once. When you cry from the sense of nostalgia, headphones will clatter to her feet and the world will come crashing down, but the faint sound of music will still come twinkling from somewhere distant.
She's the person that closes her eyes when she hears your bow sliding across the strings, just so she can smile softly and listen.
Why do you think I stopped playing, Kathy? Not because of you, but because of her.
Her. It's her and her quiet smiles, little nudges and pats on your shoulder. Her burdened eyes and exhausted tears. Her long eyelashes and chestnut hair. Her everything.
Don't mistake me for a grudge, Liam.
I'll try not to, sis.
Don't ignore me either. Don't let Ramona Syleman control your life.
I laughed out loud. I'm sorry. I think she already has.
I take back what I said before, Kathryn. I don't think that Ramona is like you at all; I think that she's everything you didn't want me to be. She's too complex for your tastes and too mysterious for mine. But at the same time, I think that Ramona is someone that you'd like to meet.
Ramona is all that you weren't, and I'm glad to see that side of you.
~~~
~Ramona~
Although we both were quite intelligent collectively, it didn't mean that we were too willing to go and crack the code of the last message from Markus. How were we supposed to know what the phrase I'm coming meant, anyways?
Every time I considered the message I either thought about Markus barging into Liam's place in the dead of night or something dirty, and both were bad options. But at the same time, did it all really matter? We knew what it meant--that Markus was actually planning something. That made me scared, but did it affect Liam?
A loud thud echoed from behind my body on the couch. The sound made me perk up a bit; it probably meant that Liam had finally meandered out of the library. But a tap on my shoulder was the beginning of something I would truly never forget:
I swiveled around to meet Liam's gaze at the touch of his finger, surprised. But all he gave me was another trademark grin. I pulled myself off the couch to say hello.
"What were you doing in the library, Liam?" I posed the question somewhat tentatively, expecting that he would respond and lose that cheeky smile of his. He did not.
"You said that you wanted to spend time focusing on other things other than Markus. I have a solution." Liam quite suddenly whipped forward, reaching for my wrists and yanking me closer. My knees slid against the cushions on his couch, painfully scratching on the wood.
With my eyes directly in front of his and his head right next to my ear, he whispered to me in a husky sort of tone.
"Get ready to go. We're going out--and the wintertime isn't exactly forgiving. Meet me at midnight on the back deck." Liam's grip on my wrists grew tighter for the barest of moments before he gently released me, letting me rest onto the couch again. I blinked as he walked away. But still, even though that shockingly out-of-character behavior, he still gave me a smile.
"Don't be late~"
He left without another word.