"The truth is rarely pure and never simple" – Oscar Wilde
October 8th, 2013; 8:36 am
The parking lot was filled with loitering students; the before-school craziness was in full swing. Students were laughing and hanging around their cars, and guys, mostly members of the football team, were wrestling each other playfully and cheering themselves on while the girls eyed their prey, a majority of them just simply hanging out with friends.
I smiled as Alex pulled up into a spot he'd found; the school seemed to be the only environment that hadn't changed for me. Sure, I wasn't the girlfriend of the great Alexander Morris anymore, and sure I had been labeled as the girl who lost her sister in a car accident by the majority of the student body, but other than that, life was generally looking up. All I had to do was fix up some broken parts – Avian – and I was pretty sure everything would be okay.
At least, I could try to make everything okay; for Lolita.
Alex smiled at me as he turned the engine of his jeep off, before jumping out the car and sauntering over to open the door for me with a smirk; I smiled knowingly, knowing that Alex was just doing that because he was simply being who he always would be: a gentleman.
And also to send every single nosy student within ten feet of the car into a frenzied state. The 'oh my gosh are they back together?' state.
I rolled my eyes.
As predicted, the students started whispering to themselves as I stepped out of the car. Alex smirked evilly then and slammed the door shut for me, before carelessly throwing an arm around my shoulder.
"You're heartless," I murmured to him as I slung my purse on my shoulder. Alex snorted, clearly hiding a laugh as he pulled me closer to him.
"Don't be like that, baby" Alex said, definitely loud enough for all the students within earshot to hear; and the whispering got louder.
Oh, God.
I shook my head and laughed as we walked into the school; Alex opened the door for me, smiling sweetly as I thanked him, and I thought the girls observing us were going to have a heart attack.
It was completely absurd.
When we reached my locker, Alex leaned on the locker next to mine and folded his hands across his chest.
"I'm glad we talked"
I smiled as I opened the metal door, before dragging my gaze to smile up at Alex. He looked so sincere, as though he had believed that I meant what I had said about him not being truly in love with me. He probably still loved me and would take him a while to completely get over it, but I was still really glad he agreed with me. I only just wished the best for him; as of right now, he was one of my best friends.
"Me too," I smiled as he stretched out his arm grandma style. Laughing, I walked into his embrace and sighed, before slowly wrapping my arms around him.
Still no butterflies or heart racing.
I smiled.
Pulling back, he smirked at me and yelled "See you later, babe" and ran off in the opposite direction before I could protest. I laughed and shook my head, turning my attention back to my locker. As I busied myself with finding the right textbooks that I needed, I heard two sets of footsteps approach; more specifically, I heard the clacking of low heels walking toward me. Smiling, I turned my gaze to said people.
"How come we're always the last to know the most important details of your life?" Angel said, feigning anger as I slammed my locker shut. I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion and turned to Rain; she had a surprised smile on her face and her arms were crossed over her chest. Smiling, Angel continued "please tell me that you guys got back together?"
What?
I smiled, shock masking my face. Realizing what the current rumor probably was, I laughed softly and began walking toward my first period, both girls falling into step beside me.
"I knew they would get back together"
Rain turned to me with a surprised look and raised her brow questioningly.
"I thought you said you didn't have feelings for Alex anymore"
I don't.
Angel laughed victoriously, not waiting for my reply as she turned to Rain with her hand extended expectantly.
"Come on, pay up! You owe me ten dollars"
I stared at my best friends in shock.
"You guys bet on Alex and me?"
"Technically, Angel bet on you and Alex," Rain said as she searched through her purse for ten bucks "I bet on you and Avian"
"Such friends you guys are" I said with a laugh but they completely ignored me and turned back to each other.
"I was right and you were wrong, as usual" Angel said mockingly, sticking her tongue out childishly at Rain, who returned the favor. Glaring at Angel, Rain pulled out the ten-dollar note reluctantly.
"Hold up," I said with a smile as I turned to my friends "I never said Alex and I were back together"
They stared at me in surprise.
"I heard he gave you a ride to school"
"That's all it was: a ride"
"I heard he called you babe"
"He was just feeding the beasts of gossip that roam the hallways"
"I heard he kissed you, with tongue"
"He," I stopped, closing my mouth abruptly. Slowly, what Rain had said sunk in. He kissed me?
With tongue?
When did that happen?
Oh wow, the things people made up, just for something to talk about; it was extremely ridiculous.
I laughed and shook my head in disbelief
"Yeah," I glanced at Angel with a smirk "that never happened"
"So what did happen?"
"Well, we stayed up all night just talking and working things out. We broke up for good, and I think Alex is okay with it," I smiled slightly "or at least he will be. We both will be"
There was silence as the girls took it in. Suddenly, Rain grinned fully and turned Angel.
"Whoop, whoop!" Rain hollered, retrieving her ten dollars. She placed the money back into her purse and extended her hand out toward Angel who was still staring at me in shock "suck it, Angel, I win"
Angel pouted.
"But, but-"
"She's with Avian, not Alex, Angel. Pay up" Rain smirked and wiggled her eyebrows victoriously. Grunting, Angel reached into the pockets of her jeans.
I laughed
"Yeah," I snorted, shaking my head "Avian and I aren't together either"
Rain froze and a smile slowly etched its way onto Angel's face.
"What?"
"Actually," I shrugged as we continued walking toward my geography class "we fought; a huge fight by the way"
"How huge?" Angel asked, completely eager to get the gist.
I winced as I recollected our little "spat"
"I might have maybe called him a bastard?" it came out more as a question than an actual statement; both eyes widened in sync.
"Shit, tell us everything" Angel said eagerly.
Rain glared at her and she shrugged, shooting Rain a 'what?' kind of look before glancing apologetically at me; I smiled slightly.
"What happened?" Rain stopped walking and placed a hand on her hip.
What had happened? I mean was I wrong to have said all the things I said? For heaven's sake, Avian didn't want to be alive. He was ready to leave everyone that loved him behind, completely heartbroken just so he didn't have to deal with the reality of life.
Was I at fault for disagreeing? I think not.
"Let's just say that we couldn't see eye to eye on something that would affect the both of us," I sighed and combed through the brown wig with my hands "he had his views, I had mine. We fought, plain and simple"
Angel and Rain glanced briefly at each other.
"So you guys aren't talking at all?" Angel muttered.
"I mean, I don't feel bad about everything I said to him" I gritted my teeth "all he wants is an easy way out and he doesn't give a shit how it affects anyone around him"
"Wants an easy way out of what?"
I glanced reluctantly between my friends.
"I'm sorry guys, but I'm not so sure it's my place to tell you that stuff"
Rain nodded knowingly but Angel just groaned, annoyed with the sudden lack of information; I laughed and continued.
"I mean, I'm ready to talk to him and work things out because I admit, the argument was mainly my fault"
"So what's the problem?"
I sighed and bit my lip
"He's just so damn stubborn," I said, glancing between them "and selfish, I might add"
I continued walking toward my classroom, the girls following suit immediately; there was a moment of silence as both girls tried to process. When we reached my class, I stopped in front of the door and glanced at them.
"What do you guys think I should do?"
Angel shrugged and glanced at Rain, who rolled her eyes before turning to me. She stared at me, a smile blossoming slowly on her face.
"What would Lolita do?"
The question took me so much by surprise that I almost stumbled in shock. I glanced at the redhead that stood before me with an expectant look on her face, wondering why she would bring that up but the more I stared at Rain, the more it dawned on me that I wasn't panicking and that I hadn't immediately changed the subject.
I was okay with it; I was able to talk about Lolita without retreating or feeling uncomfortable. Then, there was the fact that I hadn't told them about how I had been seeing Lolita these past few months. To them, Lolita had died months ago and I hadn't gone into some massive state of depression, so they must have assumed that I had found a way to deal with her absence.
"Yeah, by imagining her" my subconscious muttered silently.
The question though, was why I wasn't in some deep state of depression now that I had finally accepted the fact that she had died. Why was I so okay with it? Why had I accepted it so easily? In truth, there was nothing I could do about it per se, but why wasn't I mourning her a lot deeper than I currently was?
"I'll always be with you" Lolita's voice flashed through my head.
I smiled.
The thing was, as long as I kept her alive within me, she would never truly be dead. She would always be here, with me.
And I was okay with that.
I turned my attention back to my friends as I pondered on the question; what would Lolita do?
Push aside your fears, put on a brave face, and work it out.
"She'd talk to him; sort out the problem"
"Well then, there you go" Angel muttered with a smile. I smiled and turned to enter my class, before realizing that there was something else I had to say to them. I called out their names quickly and they turned around expectantly.
"I just really want to apologize for being a shitty friend"
They both smiled and glanced knowingly at each other.
"It's okay Shay," Rain grinned "we still love you"
"Yeah," Angel smiled at me pointedly "but you still owe us a bucket load of explanations in detail"
I smiled and walked toward them.
"That's a promise"
Rain and Angel held out their pinkies with a grin.
"Pinky swear?" they said and I laughed, before linking my pinkies with theirs.
"Pinky swear."