"Ow, Anthony my hair is not a toy. Please don't pull it." I struggle to untangle his small hands from my hair but his tiny fist refused to let go. "Why on earth are you so strong?"
Carlos appears behind me and chuckles, "I don't think I've ever seen you struggle in a fight before, hermana. It's a bit entertaining." He grabs Anthony's hand and effortlessly removes it form my hair.
"How'd you do that so easily?" I hand the baby over to him and he smiles down at the small boy in his arms.
"Because he loves his tío. Right sobrino?"
He babbles and plays with the chain around Carlos' neck.
"He does. Even with me or Ricky, he's never this calm."
The grin on his face widens as he lets Anthony hold his finger. "Be honest with me hermana, you named him after me right?"
"You're name isn't Anthony… It's Antonio." I laugh.
"But it's close! You can't tell me that you weren't at least inspired by me?"
"If it'll make you feel better, then yes. I was inspired by your name hence why his name is similar, but not the same."
"Hah, knew it! Everyone loves Carlos, even the little itty bitty babies."
I ponder for a moment while watching Carlos pretend to nibble on the baby's toes. I wonder if now is the right time to bring up what happened last night? I suppose that there's only one way to find out.
"Oye Carlos, if we're still on the topic of honesty, there's something I need clarification on."
He looks up and stares at me. "Last night, Ricky had an episode. He was scaring me, talking about a parasite that was killing him and how he couldn't take it anymore. Then he mentioned that he was taking us to Germany for business but I shouldn't worry because it'll be like vacation…"
I take a breath in and continue talking. "I know that you know something about what he's talking about and I need you to tell me. It's exhausting not knowing what's happening under my own roof and trying to raise the twins and manage Ricky's sporadic behavior all at once. So as your sister and as as Anthony's favorite person, please, tell me what's going on."
He nods and hands me back Anthony so he can pull out a cigarette.
"I told him this was a stupid fucking idea." He walks outside and I lay Anthony down in his crib next to his brother and follow after him. "I told him that you'd catch on but he doesn't listen." He takes a long, slow drag on his cigarette and exhales the smoke through his nose. "Ricky put a bounty out on Lina. Not to kill her, but to see who she's tied up with and bring them both in."
He takes one last puff then tosses the butt to the ground and crushes it beneath his boot.
"Reason why he's headed to Germany is beyond me, but if I had to guess, I'd say that he's found a profitable new source of income."
"But how could he just decide all of this without me? Did he just think that I'd go along with whatever he had planned?" I lean against the railing of the balcony and look down at the vast, colorful gardens below.
"I believe that's a conversation you should discuss with him. I had no idea he wanted to move outta the country and to Germany none the less. Of all places I would have thought that he'd be homesick and move you all back to Caracas."
"I just don't know…I'm not even a citizen here, Carlos. I didn't even have a name until Ricky gave me one, let alone any legal papers. I'm not in the system and neither are the twins. How would we even make it there? Under false identities?"
"Ricky may be dumb but he's not stupid. He handled all your paperwork months before you two even shacked up."
I lift my head and look at him. "What?"
"Mhm. He has connects, you know that."
"Yeah I know that but since when did he go around doing sneaky shit?!" I have to stop myself from slamming my fist against the wall beside me. "And then the fucker says, "Just trust me on this Kaz", like hell I can trust him now!"
Carlos remains quite as he pulls out yet another cigarette but I quickly snatch it from his fingers and hold it to my lips. He pauses and stares at me with a questioning look.
"What? You said you were trying to quit anyway and I'm stressed, so gimme a light."
"Won't that be bad for the kids?" He grabs it back and lights it.
"God-fucking-damnit." I pinch the bridge of my nose and slowly breathe. "It's alright, the boys are, I'm okay, Carlos is okay. We're doing fine."
He laughs and watches me calm myself down. "What about Ricky? You didn't say his name."
"That's because when I find him, I'm going to shove my foot my so far up his ass, shoelace will come outta his nose."
He chuckles loudly and ashes his cigarette. "We'll I suggest you lace up your shoes because he just got back."
I turn around and look inside the house and sure enough Ricky had just walked in. Carlos goes in first and I trail behind him.
"Oye hermosa, what's with the glare?" He smirks and walks towards me. As he pulled my into his arms, I could see that his eyes were playful and mischievous. "What's wrong mami, you're mad at me?" He cradled my hips and kissed my neck.
"Ricky, when did you start?" He lifts his head and his brows draw together.
"Start what?"
"Start fucking lying to me?" I push him off of me but because he's so large it only makes him shift on his feet. "When did you start keeping secrets, huh?!"
"Kazmaria, what are you-"
"No, fuck you okay?! I am sick of always playing catch-up with you, Ricky. You wanna know what's wrong with me? You. You keeping things from me and wanting me to blindly keep chasing after you like a dog is what's wrong with me!"
Carlos had already left the room and took the kids with him on the way out. It was just him and I but maybe I should have asked Carlos to stay. If would be wise to have someone here to witness his murder just in case I snap and strangle this man.
"We are together, Ricardo. That means we make these kind of decisions together! As husband and wife!"
"I know hermosa, I know. I figured that you'd rather stay here but-"
"And I thought I told to you leave Lina to me? What the fuck are you thinking by putting money on her head?!" I hit his chest again and watch him with wide eyes but he doesn't say anything. His mouth opens like he's about to speak but no words come out. "I have forgiven you for a lot of shit but I haven't forgotten. You need to understand that I am your equal. Not some obedient little pet." I grab his collar and make him look me in the eye. "You will respect me because the next time you pull some shit like this, I'll make sure that you hate what comes next. No more damn secrets. Do you understand me?"
He was quiet for a long moment. I couldn't read the expression on his face but it was clear to me that he was taking this situation seriously. Or it at least appeared that way.
"Yes Kazmaria. I understand you."
I let go if his shirt and roll my eyes then turn on my heels to leave, but just as I take a step away he grabs hold of my arm. He had a bad habit of doing that.
"Hold on now hermosa, but I don't think that we're done here."
"I've said all I needed to. We are indeed quite done here." I pull my wrist free and walk from him. I know that if I'm left alone with him for too long we'll either be at each other's necks or I'll end up pregnant again. "And no way in hell am I going through that again." I finish my thoughts aloud as I make my way back to Carlos.
"Well it's only been about…" He glances down at his watch. "Fifteen-ish minutes and you're not covered in blood, so I guess your conversation didn't end with the two of you going at it?"
"Oh haha." I lie my head on his chest and he pats the top of my head.
"What's up hermana?"
"Mhmm…"
"You're a microwave now?"
I giggle. "No, I just… I think I'd like to spend some more time here. With you. Away from crazy ass in there." I lazily wave my arm in the direction I had just came from.
His hand rested gently on the top of my head while his other arm hugged me.
"Of course you can stay with me Kaz. You know that you don't have to ask, I love spending time with you and the kids."
"Thank you Carlos. You're definitely my favorite person right now."
We stand there for a long moment and I just let him hug me. It was nice having someone to turn to whenever Ricky was acting like an ass. I just hope he doesn't get too tired of standing here, I don't want him to let go yet.
"Don't worry hermana, we can stand here as long as you want."
"Heh," It was like he read my mind, and I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes already. His words made me feel so grateful towards him. "You're a good big brother, Carlos. I love you."
"And you're an even better baby sister. I love you too."