Hello everyone! It's been a while but that also means I've had more experience to talk about.
They say you marry your spouse's family too. It is a humorous take that is both true and exaggerated. While you do have to deal with your in-law family, still know that you and your spouse are a complete unit seperate from everyone else. It can be quite tricky with all the normal dysfunction and drama.
Our families are very different from each other in terms of basic good and bad. Every family is dysfunctional to some degree at various levels. My husband's family is quite an unusual set with several sociopathic members. I am serious and I pray no one ever go through what we did. My family is very caring and loves my husband to peaces. That is bit of where I am coming from in my experience.
For any in-law family, try to understand each other. Make spending time with them both a priority, but not above spending time with one another. Early on set boundaries with them, especially in-laws. Although they are your parents, they don't control your marriage and shouldn't. Your marriage is priority above family. You live with your spouse for the rest of your life and not your family.
Side note: as a general rule do not rent etc from family. We made the mistake of continuing to rent from his grandma after we got married and she abused us.
That brings me to this point. Do not dismiss the option of cutting out certain family if they are abusive. Keeping abusive family in your life puts a heavy drag on your marriage. It is not worth it to keep them. We know from experience. We've been able to escape and are living free.
Family is still important and a good support system. If you can keep them, please do. If not, I hope you can find other "family" to be there for you.