When living with a human being, particularly your spouse, you are bound to trigger them and be triggered. These are often not recognized and frequently stir up tension, miss communication, and strife. On the positive side, triggers can open up an avenue for healing from trauma. Being able to recognize triggered instances is vastly important, even if you're single.
Being triggered can present itself in fight, flight, or freeze behaviors and out of character reactions. It's not mostly a "female" thing either as we tend to think associatively. We probably just tend to recognized it a little faster. If you find that your spouse has reacted out of character, it may be caused from being triggered. Have extra patience and work with them to be able to find out what had caused it. You may be triggered back as well. Do keep in mind it's usually not personal. You may have to wait until they and yourself have calmed enough to think clearly. Gently, with permission, go back and work through what happened.
Triggers can come from certain phrases, similar scenarios, tones, and even touch. If one has suffered significant trauma or abuse, getting triggered will mostly likely be more frequent. This is not a sign of weakness but of the body trying to cope and process. Working through triggers together helps to heal trauma and strengthen your relationship with each other.
Do keep note that some "triggers" may be from the other person displaying toxic or abusing behaviors. This chapter and most chapters here, are assuming the spouses are not abusive. If someone is abusing you, don't take it lightly and please seek help. That is, however, for a different chapter entirely.