The day was getting dark. Wu Huan had just finished building his fourth snowmen. One sat crookedly near his front door, one felling off already and the last wasn't looking any better. His thoughts were freed around the wind; no regard was given to his freezing pair of hands. No sooner, he softly brushed off the lingering bits of snow of his palms. Wu Huan's eyes transfixed.
What was he thinking of building these snowmen barehanded?
[I just want to get things off my head.] He reasoned within himself.
"Don't you think it worked?" he turned to the snowmen who were supposed to have some recognizable shapes. He imagined their disappointing faces. "That's right. Even YOU judged me." Annoyed, he then crouched to their levels. "So what if I don't know what's going on with me?" A fist-sized hole now decorated a snowman's face.
Hearing sudden crunching footsteps, Wu Huan fell to his butts. When he looked up, Luo Yang was gawking at him.
"What are you doing here?" He puffed a breath of air with embarrassment. "Did shixiong ask for me?"
"No."
"..."
Luo Yang abruptly kicked the snowman. It now became one with the ground. "It's hard, isn't it?"
"Huh?"
He shrugged, "It's hard."
Wu Huan felt compelled to double-check his meaning.
He had been sarcastic since the beginning and didn't even talk to him after his Shi Lihua was injured.
Who was this empathic person?
"It sucks that you're here," Wu Huan scoffed.
"I bet it wouldn't be if I was your shixiong."
He glared, "What do you want?"
"Listen here, I know your symptoms. Nothing is going to come out of it."
Something in Luo Yang's expression made his retorts died quietly.
The man sat on the snow. His sharp face lifted up to the rising moon. "I know what he is to you. I wasn't going to care. It hurts to care because it's like facing my old self."
"Your old self."
"Yes. I'm not going to say much but if you're thinking of sacrificing yourself to protect him, just give up." Luo Yang watched the other's darkened eyes dropped. "Maybe you have already realized it."
"I guess..."
"He went through a lot. Hua'er is not what he's trying to project to the outer world. He's... just a deep crack. He has been broken apart. And it's been a while."
Wu Huan was reminded of his late master's words.
'The older generation has seen so many died to protect their lives, but not so much, to take their own.'
"Has he...has he ever tried to...take his own life?"
A sarcastic scoffed. "No. But, he never hesitates to give himself up to the chance. It drives people around him insane."
It must have been mutual feelings in their hearts. Or the chills that ran up their bodies. Wu Huan laid down next to him, holding his forehead. "What happened to him?"
"Just life...Don't ask me. I can't share anything like that." He continued, "You can't save him."
"I don't know."
"You can't. Not even himself can."
"That's so wrong to hear. Not even himself? This isn't right."
Luo Yang pointed at the sorry remain of the snowman. "Look, he can't even save himself either. Do you understand what I mean?"
They shared the silence with their own lonely thoughts. The snow has nearly buried the snowman's death. And, Wu Huan was ready to give up on figuring things out. He simply muttered, "He's a strong person."
"He is."
Wu Huan turned his head. But, Luo Yang didn't stop, "That's why you should focus on saving yourself. Hua'er would also prefer that if you ask him."
--
Tonight was a full-blown feast. Sect leader Shi has ordered about ten cuisines to fill each table. Everyone's faces, although overwhelmed, held an unmistakable excitement. After making a toast for the hard work of the two young masters, they finally got to dig in.
"Too bad, master isn't here," Cui Jun drowned his second cup. "From now on, Shi Lihua shixiong is the trainer again. I don't know how to feel."
Zi Xue giggled through his second cup, obviously didn't look too tolerant of alcohol. "Well, quite the contrary for me! I'm relieved of my duty." He blinked at Wu Huan for a while. As the other held the chopsticks to his mouth, he began to speak, "You're being weird, my shidi."
Wu Huan raised a brow, "Weird?"
"Why aren't you sitting with him?"Bai Lei was direct. He raised his chin to the Sect leader's table. Shi Lihua had his back to them. Even his back didn't seem to give them a care in the world.
"It's awkward sitting with the elders."
Bai Lei gave him a look but nonetheless, he didn't comment further.
"Well, I hope master is safe. Tian Jiao mountain has been having suspicious lately. The older folks in town are conjuring up rumors again."
"Rumors about the demon king?"
Cui Jun nodded, "Well, you can't keep everything from the townies. People keep missing in the north, it didn't take much to be suspicious. My family is considering migration to here."
"That's not a bad idea. You'll be able to visit your mama when you need a cry," Zi Xue chuckled through the glare he received. He was already on his way to half the jar. Wu Huan might have perhaps found the culprit that thrashed his room. "Hey, the more I think about it, Wu Huan, you haven't told us what happened did you?"
He paused but didn't hesitate for long. He realized he wouldn't be able to hide. "Well, the Qi family was annihilated."
"We already know that."
"Then we met a psychopath. Thanks to him, I leveled up."
Cui Jun, "It's too weird you didn't face a Qi deviation. Are you destined to be an immortal or something?"
"An immortal?" He shook his head even though he was amused.
An immortal?
Not until he could protect his stubborn shixiong. Talk about an impossibility. "That's right. I forgot I met an immortal during the town trip."
They all looked incredulous, the three of them. Being good friends didn't mean they would believe everything you said. "Why would an immortal appear in front of you?" Bai Lei raised a disbelieving brow.
"You just leveled up, and you also met an immortal. Do you have a secret being kept from us?"
Wu Huan sighed. He kind of expected those reactions already. So many things happened in a month. His whole life, he hadn't been that busy.
His life was spiraling.
Down.