Half a month has passed. He hasn't once talked to his shixiong. He also didn't know how had that happened. Well, it wasn't only him to blame. Shi Lihua never bothered to question his abnormality. He suspected that only if he was to drop dead would that sharp face made an appearance.
He was spiraling down with himself and his mind alone. The only man Wu Huan became scared of was no other than he and himself. It shocked him how much his mind can be so poisonous. More vicious than a killer blade.
Sometimes he would wake up from nightmares of complete nonsense. Sometimes of past memories living in Lan Yan Sect. Sometimes of a certain person.
Spring was reaching them.
Aside from trying to train with Shi Lihua and waiting for his master's return, he had also made frequent visits to the One hundred Fragrance Peak. It wasn't the medicine or pills he was interested in. He had found a meditating spot which was just right behind the peak's main quarter. There was a gigantic spiritual tree that supplied daily energy for the farm that supported Taohua Sect.
Wu Huan liked to climb the slippery stairs of snow then reached under the tree before anyone could come to work. Sometimes a pile of snow would drop straight on his head, and he would just let it be.
He had also hoped to see this place in spring.
Thinking about it, this was his fifth time coming here early at dawn. Eleven days since he had abandoned sleep.
Deteriorating.
In his lotus position, he felt the cold air of his breath.
Wu Huan was then suddenly felt a heavy smack in the middle of his head. He nearly cursed out, "You scared me."
Shi Lihua didn't answer. He simply stared as if he was looking directly into his mind
"Do you need me, shixiong?" Wu Huan hastily stood up. The other pair of eyes continued to follow his actions.
"No. Do you need me?"
The edge of Tian Jian tickled his throat. Alright, he confessed. He missed this. An unpromising swordfight.
Peizhi didn't come out as expected so he spent the majority of the duel dodging for his near death. Sweats managed to leak out inside his coat. Only until the crack of dawn that he was spared. They sat under the tree together watching the sunrise.
Wu Huan took the chance to savor his shixiong's rare face. When he tried to speak, a lump suddenly stuck in his throat. He pushed through anyway, "Thanks, shixiong."
"Don't thank me when I am the cause of your problem."
"..." He saw at the corner of his eyes that Shi Lihua had turned to look at him. "I don't think so."
"..."
They became speechless for a while. None of them knew much about consoling.
"I was told you've been through a lot"
"I've gotten it easy compared to some others I know."
"What do we do?"
"I don't know." Shi Lihua continued watching the sunrise. There was then a crack of smile on his face.
"Hey, maybe we should smile more often."
"Why?"
"Your smile is too life-saving."
"Well, yours too."
Wu Huan suppressed the warm giddy feeling. If he had had a mirror, he would only see a red tomato. "Mine?"
A finger was pointed forward. "There. I'm looking at it."
He was going to ask where but his eyes were attacked by a brilliant light.
"The sunshine."
.
.
"It set me off."
Shi Lihua nodded.
"It set me off when I saw you got yourself stabbed. I couldn't even blame Luo Yang because I knew if it was me, it wouldn't have been any different. You would still sacrifice yourself. It makes me feel weak that I couldn't even protect you at my strongest."
Shi Lihua nodded again. He was only looking into the distance now.
"My uncle was never the proudest of me. I have...I had my previous master who pulled me through. When he left this world...he also left with a part of me. Then I found you...but you..." He suddenly found it funny being reminded of how he first met his shixiong. "You were really mean to me. But as time went by, you started to hella confuse me. I thought you hated me...Now I knew it wasn't the case. Oh."
His shixiong had a look of inquiry after the abrupt silence.
"I think I just figured something out."
"You're...I wouldn't say I totally hated you in the beginning."
[Really?] He almost blurted.
Shi Lihua actually had a different idea. "Not in the beginning. More towards the middle of it. You were just so random. From competitive to spiteful to caring then protective. I couldn't keep up."
It was time for him to be embarrassed. He knew he had been an emotional kid. That was what kids would act. Nonetheless, he was thankful. He never imagined a heart to heart conversation with someone like Shi Lihua.
"Great. I was upset and lost just an eternity ago. You made me feel all better."
He saw Shi Lihua stood up and he nearly stretched out his hand to hold him back. To be near him again. "Emotions are fretful things. You're not going to feel like that any longer."
"What do you mean?" His heart was jumping to his throat.
"Master is back."
His eyes dropped, "You came here to tell me this?"
Shi Lihua's lips moved in surprise, "I came here for you."
Wu Huan couldn't respond when he saw his shixiong crouched down.
Their dark brown eyes reflected on each other.
Finally, Shi Lihua had hugged him.