Four years wasn't long enough for her to forget, it was also not short enough for her to remember a lot of things. Like it was only for not even two years, she sometimes had to think hard enough to recall her husband's face.
When she saw this man, Aaron Carling, she remembered, vividly, like the part of her memory that she intentionally locked up suddenly opened. She remembered how much she fell for him, how she loved him, and how he loved her back. It was like fire, like vibration, like a buzz, like a harsh note on the piano key. It was everything or the only thing she knew that made her feel alive, even when she just thought of it.
Velika O'Sullivan knew she still loved him. She knew, and wouldn't even try to deny it, that she loved him more than any men in her life, even more than Landon Hetherington and she would only have this sort of feelings towards him, she felt guilty about it, but she had no power to resist.
He might be an evil doctor, a sinner, a monster that people hated. Those eyes, those dazzling hazel eyes that attracted her deadly four years ago yet still attracted her now. He seemed older, almost reach into his 50s, but she did not care. All she knew was that she was madly in love with him again, she knew better, regardless of how many years passed by, she would still love him and he, indeed, would love her just as much as she did to him.
But she was a married woman, and deeply in her heart, she knew that even if she wasn't married to Landon Hetherington, they could not still end up together.
Her secret lover looked at her, she could see behind those thick lenses, which he didn't have those glasses when she met him the first time, his beautiful, charming eyes had a spark in them and his thin, pale lips had a curl like he was about to smile but he held it back.
"Dearest." She murmured, no one could hear her, though she knew he saw her colorless lips moved and he knew that she was referring to him. Out of all the people Velika O'Sullivan had to be associated with, he was the one and the only that she ever called by 'dearest', or any loving names at all.
"Now, everybody," Said the doctor in a monotone, cold as usual voice, "Since you were all here for your various reasons, I feel there's no need to pointing out why you are here, as you probably already knew why."
He paused, scanned around the crowd, avoided eye contact with the woman he loved more than anything else. He wanted to hold her tight, kiss her on her lips that are as thin and pale as his own, comfort her, tell her that everything is going to be over soon and that they could finally, after six long years, be together. Every single day in these past four years was torture, whenever he closed his eyes, he thought of her, his young, brave Logan Klein, or Velika O'Sullivan.
He worked at a psychiatric ward, it wasn't insane made him crazy, it was his love, or passion, or desire, or lust towards her. Four years, he could only imagine how she aged, how strong and tough she became. He could imagine her as a perfection, like a statue, but he couldn't imagine her flaws, how she had a little temper at times, and how she could be clingy and wanted his attention.
Sometimes he wondered if he was still in love with the real Velika O'Sullivan, or the perfectly-imperfect version of her that he had been creating himself.
"So," He cleared his throat, "Let's go on a tour with me. I would like to project you to the current work that we have been doing for the past year. And since you would become the subjects of the study, you want to follow me on this tour."
Slowly, one by one, people stood up, the doctor moved aside and let them out. As they were going through the doors, guards tired ropes around their wrists to make sure they couldn't do anything too hard the psychiatrist. When Velika O'Sullivan was getting her wrists tied, she couldn't help but stare at her lover, and him as well.
'We can do this.' His enchanting hazel eyes were telling her, in the softest yet the most encouraging way.
'Yes, we can.' She stared back, and he understood right away, 'I love you.'
'I love you too, dear heart.' He gave her an invisible smile and she almost smiled out but she did a good job to control it.
Why wouldn't she love someone who could communicate with her only by looking into each other's' eyes?
Velika O'Sullivan knew, at this very moment, that she and Aaron Carling owed each other their lives.
###
"When did you start smoking?" The doctor asked her, in the early morning when he woke up to her lazily lying in the bed, with a cigarette in her hand and window slightly opened. The smoke swirled up in the air and slowly out from the window. She only had the blanket covered half of her body, with her right leg hanging down the side of the bed.
Everything this woman did was attractive to him. He never believed that he would ever love someone as much as he loved her, and that was the reason he decided to embrace her, she was something special.
"Since my husband left me, around three years ago." She said, didn't look at him, she was staring at her cigarette, talking in a rare, calming voice.
"But you said you were married for five years." Her lover seemed to be confused, he had his sight on her, like the moment he looked away, she would vanish into the thin air.
"True," She gave him a sneaky smile, "But dearest, did I tell you that I've never had a chance to divorce him?"
Her gentle, loving psychiatrist smiled, his smile was a charm, a poison that made her believe that she would do anything to be with this man. As the time spends with him getting longer and longer, the imposter of Logan Klein started to doubt if what Larissa Carling or Astoria Leontes told her was true. She had to find a way to ask this man what the truth was, regardless of how brutal it was. Would her lover lie to her? Perhaps, but she could care less, she knew that no matter what this man told her, she would believe him unconditionally.
Then she put out the smoke, turned towards him, leaned on his shoulder.
"Do you think we should talk?" Said him with an almost invisible frown.
"About?" She looked up, he was looking at her too, those dazzling hazel eyes made her heart skip a beat. She knew precisely what was coming, there was no way the intelligent doctor could be fooled.
"What's your name?" He asked plainly like he was asking about the weather, "Your real name."
She wanted to play the 'innocent game', but when she looked at him, she had no power of coming up with any lies.
"Velika." She said gauntly when he kissed her forehead.
"Velika, this is a beautiful name," Her cunning lover smiled, "Nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Aaron Carling, the psychiatrist in Valentine."
"Nice to meet you too." Said her, played along reluctantly, she knew that he wanted to say it herself instead of him pointing out, "Velika O'Sullivan, Chair Field Agent of Natural."
"How lovely it is to be who you are." Said Aaron Carling, he then kissed her on the lips.
When his cold lips touched hers, she knew this man, whom she loved with all her passion, was extremely dangerous. If he wanted, he could make her life easier at this very moment.
"Let's not play any games," He continued, held her tighter, she didn't move, just quietly listened to him, "I know you work for Larissa, or Astoria."
"What is her real name?" She asked, purely out of curiosity.
"Larissa Carling." Said the man, he was looking at the side of her face, he could feel her fear towards him slowly spreading, "She never liked the name, Larissa. And dear, do not fear me. I would never do anything that harms you, if I would, I could already have done it."
"I don't know if I should trust you." Velika O'Sullivan finally got the courage to look at the man, who she loved heartily but also with indescribable angst.
"I love you," He said slowly like he was using all the energy he had to say these words, "And I know, that no matter what happens, I would always love you."
"I love you too." She said, she barely had any emotions on, "Even I know better than I shouldn't."
"Tell me, Velika," Said the psychiatrist, "What did my sister tell you about me? Did she tell you that I was a rapist with the best cover? Did she tell you my parents neglected her and never cared for her feelings? And my father raped her while my mother didn't do anything about it?"
Velika O'Sullivan's eyes widened, for several seconds she didn't know what to say. How could he say these things so lightly like it was small talk at a coffee shop?
She nodded.
"Do you believe her?"
She nodded, then shook her head: "I don't know what to believe anymore, Aaron, I don't. No matter what you tell me, I know I'll just believe you because I love you way too much and I can't get the rational part of my brain function anymore."
She looked at him with blank stares, then he held her tight. She knew that she had to face him one day, even before she took off for Valentine, she knew that confronting Aaron Carling was going to be rough, but she never expected or dared to think about how she would magically fall in love with him, a man who she despised after listening to the single side of the story.
And he, knowing that she was sent by his sister even before she arrived, the thought of loving her had never crossed his mind. He did think of how to quietly terminate her, he came up with multiple ways, but none of them involved having a romantic attraction to her.
"How about," He paused for a second, then resumed, "Let's make a fair trade. You tell me all about yourself, with no sugar coating, and I will tell you everything about me."
Velika O'Sullivan nodded, then she told him her story. She could make things up, but she didn't, she told him the painful truth. Then, as the agreement, he started his story.