(Hikigaya Hachiman POV)
Peace. It's something I never realized I lost until middle school began. It all started after my best friend was forced to leave for America due to family circumstances. He told me that he might not ever come back because of some secret reasons, but he would do as much as he can to come back to my side as soon as possible. I admit I cried a bit that day when I went back home, and I had to seek the comfort of my little sister, Komachi, to calm down.
Anyways, middle school started and I found myself abnormally excited. For me, it was a chance to gain new friends and live my youth like everyone else. If I could have a best friend, surely I could use social skills to gain a normal friend. Right? Right?? Wrong.
I was so wrong. What was I thinking? What ignorant part of me thought that the world was sunshine and rainbows? I'll tell you, me. It was the part of you that was lonely. It was the part of you that had the desire to conform and be with the others. It was the part of you that ignored all the warnings your best friend left you before he left!
Why younger me? Why didn't you listen to him?? Why did you blindly trust others?! Was our friendship with him that fragile?? Once again, I'll answer for you. You were hurt by his absence. You wanted to fill that hole in your heart with anyone possible until he came back and so you made a dumb move. Fine. I'll forgive you for that one since it was an emotional decision. So how the hell do you explain the confession?
Emotional decision again? She was my fated one? She was the most beautiful person in existence? Maybe, no and no. First of all, she replied to one out of over a few dozen texts. That had to be the most obvious clue that she wasn't interested in you. Second, did she ever approach you for a conversation or did you? Pretty easy question. Lastly, did she have the same attitude towards you that she had towards everyone else? If you answered all the questions like I thought you would, then I congratulate you for being the greatest idiot of all time. Good job younger me. You sure did live your youth. Did you enjoy it? Was it anything you hoped? No? Then good because I certainly hated everything about middle school and you being me says enough.
Speaking of school, I've walked in this damn hall for the past 10 minutes and I still haven't found my class. Oh well. I'm late anyway so I'm just gonna go back to my inner monologuing. What was I saying? Orimoto. Confession. Insulting my younger self even though he doesn't exist. Right.
So middle school was hell, but I don't regret it as much as I should. Simply because it opened my eyes to the reality that has been in front of me all along. Ugh. So conflicting. I hate it. If anyone ever asked me about one place I feel both hatred and gratitude towards, middle school would be my immediate answer. Hmph. Aren't you getting a little too far, me? I highly doubt anyone would even talk to you, much less ask you that question.
Wait wait wait. Stop being negative Hachiman. You got into Sobu Highschool, didn't you? It's far away from anyone who might know you so it's a fresh beginning. Right?
Sadly, I can't answer that because of a particular event that happened on the first day of school. An event that forced me to not attend school for at least two weeks. Which means that people have already formed their cliques. Now notice how I said cliques and not friends or groups. If the definition of a clique is anything to go by, it means that it is nearly impossible for me to have friends. You see, based on my experience in middle school, students tend to create these cliques to have this facade of security. Nobody wants to be alone and so they do whatever they have to enjoy their "youth". Even if it means that they had to start a superficial friendship to do so, and I hate that.
I feel so much disgust towards that concept. Superficial. God! Whoever created that word needs to be lynched. It urges me to vomit every time I hear it. The worst part is that I have this feeling that I have to deal with it for the rest of my high school years. *Sigh* Why me? Why anyone?
Eventually, I arrived at my destination and entered the room. Clearly, the classroom was disrupted and all eyes were on me, but I could care less.
"Good morning Sensei. I am Hikigaya Hachiman. I was the one in the accident," I started. The older man had an "understanding" expression on his face and he told me to introduce myself. "Hello everyone. My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. Due to some misfortunate events, I am starting this school year a little late. Please take care of me," I said to no one in particular. In fact, I didn't even make eye contact with any of them as I looked back at my teacher. Nice job Hachiman. You couldn't have introduced yourself in a normal way with a normal expression? How tired could you be? You had a two-week mini vacation. Wake up!
"Ah. Right. You are seated next to Kurosaki-Kun." That nearly stopped my heart. I thought he said Kurosaki...
Man. Fate is truly kind to me isn't it. I was just talking about you and thinking about you. All of a sudden, you just show up. I think my happiness showed on my face since I felt my lips take the shape of a smile. A very happy smile.
It might be my imagination, but I think my vision became brighter all of a sudden. It's like I'm seeing the Sun for the first time in three years and it feels pretty good. Is this what it feels like to have a friend? This strange sense of liberation and happiness? I know Komachi will be all over him once she sees him, and damn it I want to as well. Not in a sexual way, but rather in an 'I want to beat the life out of you for not contacting me' kind of way.
As I took my seat and raised my fist to the right, another fist met mine and I knew at that moment, that my best friend Kurosaki Ichigo, was back.