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It wasn't over.
Wish I could I say we were given a reprieve from any more perilous encounters. Dearly, I yearn for it… a moment of respite, chances to placate the dreadful thoughts manifesting one after the other.
But the beckoning of movement, Tayuma motioning to continue forging onwards made it quite clear that that moment of peace wouldn't be coming anytime soon.
"Not out of the woods yet," He said, cautiously in lead, "My guys' still need help."
"Honestly, who doesn't?" said I, shambling along after him. "Where do you get your tenacity? What happened to that awkward little man having a tantrum because he got his sword stuck to the ground?"
"Still the same little man," A hearty chuckle from a small grin, "Just different circumstances."
"Speaking of circumstances," spoke Jin from a distance. "No one's going to question how 20 NPCs became almost a hundred seemingly out of nowhere?"
Footsteps at a halt, Tayuma and I spun his way, still overlooking the gray piles of soot and ash.
Somehow that anomaly just flew right over my head, didn't even question it. But Jin was right, it just didn't add up.
"Well then," I uttered, seeing Tayuma exhibit an identical expression of peculiarity as I. "Seems were questioning it now."
"You got a theory?" Tayuma asked.
"Just one," Jin said, then glanced at me, a grimness left unsaid in the look of his eyes. "It's not a nice one."
Bad news was no stranger, bleakness was an old friend. I can handle somewhat the burdens of misery. But the way his words were conveyed, a sincere hopelessness to it, shit, even I was reluctant to hear what he had to say.
Yet you couldn't just shun away from the bitter reality. Try as you might.
"Let's hear it," I said, breathing in deep.
Jin made to stroke his chin, an absentminded habit gradually acquired over from dozens of interviews and advertisements where he talked in length about all there was to come from this new and exciting project he had undertaken.
The same project he fawned over relentlessly that was now trying to wipe us out of existence.
"You," He nudged over to Tayuma. "Before you came to get us, you absolutely sure there was only about 20 or so after you?"
"Positive," said Tayuma.
"Any chance you might have missed a few?"
"I got eyes and they're working, don't know what to tell you."
"Well then, unless you miscounted somehow - don't know how'd you manage that," Jin continued on, "I'm guessing a certain someone is fiddling with how things spawn around here."
He took a step, pointing a finger to the other end of the corridor, "Then all of a sudden your people get ambushed, like a flick of a switch, just as we were making our way towards them? Now that's another thing."
A momentary pause as the eerie silence molded into us a silent comprehension.
"We can chalk it up to pure coincidence if you like," Jin spoke, confronting again, my gaze with his own, "But I'm more inclined to believe that someone's doing whatever they can to stop what we're trying to do."
"Sukuinote…" I answered back, feeling utterly revolted with each syllable that left my lips. "So much for fairness."
Jin nodded grimly, "He's got you marked. Wouldn't be far-fetched to say he has everything here scripted to make a beeline for you."
"Sukui-who?" Tayuma asked, dumbfounded. "I only have bits and pieces here. Your message wasn't exactly all that descriptive either."
I waved him off, "Long story," and turned to Jin again. "So what's your take? What does that mean for me?"
"What I think?" Reluctance filled his downcast eyes, "This team you're trying to build, I don't think you'll be finding any volunteers. I'm guessing anyone associated with you will be getting the same special treatment as well, so finding people willing to dive into hell with you… it just got a whole lot harder."
Midway through his statement, I could already feel it. The creases forming on my forehead, the painful throb of discouragement aching a troubled mind. He ended his talk and there was I, steps away, eyes concealed beneath an open palm, hissing out a breath that told very little about how I felt.
Perhaps Jin felt bad for me, for he spoke again after a pitiful moment of silence, "Team or no, I'm still with you. Pretty much obligated to at this point. You won't hear a complaint from me even if I have to face a million of them."
In spite of being in the face of despair, I couldn't help but chuckle. Pretense of true intent, hidden beneath pathetic words of comfort. My hand sank loosely to the side, and all I could feel was straight apathy at that point.
"No complaints, huh?" I said softly. "So that's why you're here… saving people, trying to sate the guilt, are you?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "I can try."
There you have it. Just trying to clear his conscience. Not doing it because of the kindness of his heart, but to rid of the blight plaguing it. Though he must nothing could make up for such a fatal mistake, no matter how good his intentions were.
Forgiveness and absolution don't come that easy. Especially for the unforgiving.
He must know that. But he'll try anyway. Ah well, so long as it'll get me the help I so desperately need… I don't see why I should stop him.
"You do you, then," I said.
Jin's help was a guarantee, but how about…?
My eyes wandered, surreptitiously they made their way to a person leaning against the wall, lips puckered around the head of a health potion, gradually recovering from the verge of death.
Hard to tell what his thoughts are with such a blank, oblivious expression on display.
Unable to restrain myself, I sought an answer, "And you?"
Tayuma unclasped his lips from the potion, arching his brows in attention, "And me what?"
Was he even paying attention? What do you mean 'me what?' you dumb-dumb.
"Having any second thoughts?" I asked, turning to him. "You join me now and you're signing yourself up for death."
He let the potion vanish from his grasp to allow the folding of his arms, staring rigidly, evidently unamused.
"I just ran a marathon trying to get you," he said, his face scrunched up in bewilderment. "Kill the boss and the nightmare ends - that's what your message said. I came to you because that's what we're gonna do, right?"
"Yes, but…" I sputtered, truly at loss at his genuine fidelity, "Come on, you must have heard stories right? From them… about me, about why we're here? Still gonna follow me despite it all?"
There it was. My true thoughts unveiled out to the open. The irrational worry of mine that needed appeasing. All this time I wondered, but never really knew.
Slight steps towards me untethered him from place. Rejection, revulsion, he showed none of that. Casually, earnestly, as he always was, he answered with a smile.
"The Sora they know and the Sora I knew seemed to clash. Had some similarities, but not enough to keep me away. The Sora they talked about wouldn't have saved me that day."
I stared in his eyes, seeking signs of insincerity, utterly baffled upon finding none, "That's it?"
"Action speaks louder than words," He simply said, "And so far, so good, I guess. Don't have any reason to distrust you."
Again, silence as I blinked back the incredulity. 11 days in, with all that had transpired across those grueling days… loyalty and trust were far removed from the reality I've grown accustomed to. So foreign, so mystifying, that I was left speechless.
Tayuma tilted his head, mistaken my silence for something else, "Or are you saying I'm getting the wrong idea here? Should I have believed them instead?"
"No, no," I immediately piped up, "You got the right idea there, thankfully."
"Sure?"
"Sure as sure can be."
Still, his eyes remained with skepticism, "Still a bit confused here."
"What's there to be confused about?"
"Who to follow."
"I don't follow..."
"Clear it up for me straight," He said, with a stare so intense, "Are you their Sora, or are you my Sora?"
I blinked, "You're what?"
"My Sora."
"Oh God," I winced, painfully, "Please, never, ever say that again."
"Answer the question or I'll repeat myself."
"Jesus... fine, I'm yours, I'm yours! Just shut up already!"
To the side, for the first time ever, Jin looked on, melting in utter cringe. "That was hard to watch, even more painful to listen to. I learned my lesson and I'm never eavesdropping on any of your conversations again."
I offered a fleeting wave of apology and tried to shift the conversation elsewhere, "Alright so we're the three musketeers now, all friends here, yeah?"
"No doubt about it," said Tayuma.
Another shrug from Jin, "I suppose so."
I fronted myself to the corridor's depths, "That out of the way… let's get a move on, we'll save your friends, get rid of some NPCs, and find ourselves a fourth member."
Tayuma issued an echoing clap of affirmation and marched on in lead, "Let's make haste, then! I've no doubt will find someone willing to join-"
"Chances of that?" Interjected Jin, slogging through from far behind us, "Sora, care to share with us some of your pessimistic wisdom?"
"I think even 0% is a bit too optimistic, actually," I replied. "Besides, I go to that room. NPC catches sight of me. One clean stab through the chest and bam - just like that, the team's disbanded before it's even begun."
Tayuma turned back to look at me, "So the plan, then?"
"We split up," I saw surprise flicker in his eyes and I added promptly, "Just for now."
He pursed his lips, eyebrows furrowing to make sense of it all, "We met up to split up. Alright, makes sense. What happens after that?"
"You go on and save your troopers," I pointed to the back of me, where a drawling yawn expelled out from the darkness, "Jin and I, we go hunting for the fourth person."
Tayuma slowly nodded his head, seemingly accepting the preposition, whereas Jin merely answered back, "Do you even have anyone in mind yet? Or are you making this up as you go?"
I thought about it for a moment, then replied.
"A bit of both."
"Brilliant."
In all honesty, I did have someone that came to mind. Flashing in a brief image of pure revulsion. A bright streak of scarlet in a blackened hall. A graceful dance amongst a flurry of blades. Effortlessly, elegantly, without a graze.
I felt sickened even considering it… considering her.
Smiling her devious smirk. Wearing her condescending gaze.
But she was strong. And I needed strong.
I just hope I can withhold myself from punching her when we inevitably meet again.