"Exactly." I said. "And I'm so mixed up about that, I just..." I gestured helplessly. Alexandre kissed my temple again.
"I know. I never wanted you to have to go through this alone." He sighed. "I had hoped to simply come to you one day with her beheaded carcass." He snarled.
"Woah boy." I responded "I never said I wanted her dead." Alexandre pulled me to a stop.
"Don't you?" He asked curiously.
"I'm...not sure." I flashed my teeth at him. "This part of me? yes." I growled "But it also wants more." Alexandre put a hand on my face and I blinked, coming back to myself. "But, the human part of me...is apalled at that reaction, and I don't know which side will win." I said helplessly. Alexandre placed his forehead on mine again, palm still on the side of my face.
"I can not promise you restraint when the time comes, but I will do my best to honor your wishes." Alexandre told me softly, and then we continued our walk.
He helped me up the gazebo stairs like a gentleman, though I didn't really need the aid. The white structure had seating built in, running around the inside of the white railings. I took a seat and pulled Alexandre down beside me, leaning my head on his shoulder. A gentle breeze crossed through, blowing the flower scent and something else, something different and new to my vampire senses. I inhaled deeply.
"Hmm, what's that smell?" I asked Alexandre curiously, and felt his shoulders rise slightly as he sampled the wind.
"Autumn, it comes a little late here." He replied and I flinched involuntarily.
"That much time, already?" I murmured and Alexandre pulled away to look at me.
"Carys, are you ok?" Alexandre asked with concern.
"How...how long has it been since I've been here? It was early spring, I mean, it was one of those ridiculously hot days we get in Virginia in early spring before it actually stays spring, but still..." I stammered.
"About seven, eight months." Alexandre answered and I reeled. Almost a year.
"I...I...suddenly don't feel so good." I stood up and Alexandre gripped me as I swayed.
"Carys, what's the matter? Carys love? Carys?" Alexandre's voice melted into the background as my ears began to ring and I fell to my hands and knees. I felt pressure in my throat and spat foamy pinkish liquid onto the white gazebo flooring. Score point for vampire vomiting, apparently that's possible too. By this point, Alexandre was panicking, he lifted me off the ground, making my dizziness worse, and sped me towards the house. I moaned.
"Please, please stop!" I begged and he halted almost immediately, making me feel as though I had just stepped off a merry-go-round. "Ohhh gods, put me down-quick!" Alexandre set me down and I sank to the ground again, clutching my stomach. I smelled water and realized the stream must be nearby. I opened my eyes to see it was only a pace or two away, and I tried to stumble my way there, but couldn't manage my own feet. Alexandre saw this and gently assisted. Gratefully, I splashed cool water on my face and neck, while Alexandre smoothed wet hair from my face. The ringing in my ears faded and I relaxed slowly, leaning into Alexandre's tense embrace, shivering slightly. He wrapped his arms around me protectively and tried to pull me closer. I groaned again.
"Not yet, not yet, just let me sit here and wait for the world to stop spinning." I whined. I felt Alexandre's muscles tense.
"Carys, Carys, please answer me, are you ok?" He petted my forehead again, smoothing the hair back and checking to see if I had a fever.
"I just got a little overwhelmed and dizzy for a moment. It's almost been a year...since..I..died..." I gagged again, leaning forward with a moan. Alexandre followed the motion, exclaiming with worry.
"I'm ok, I'm ok." I swallowed hard and gasped "And it just hit me hard how long it's been since my life was just turned upside down and it sort of hit me..hard..the reality and craziness..of it all.." I laughed wildly.
"I mean, I was sitting in a gazebo with a rich vampire who's over one hundred years old, who happens to say he loves me and also turned me, and I just figured out I love him, oh and yeah we just had sex and he's the one who saved me from a serial killer who's the one who killed me almost a year ago, that we also happen to be hunting at the same time the cops are watching us and doing the same and..." I dry heaved again, clutching my stomach "Apparently my emotions are somehow still very much tied to my body's responses. I used to get sick like this when I had bad anxiety." The arm holding me up started to tremble and I collapsed. Alexandre tugged my limp torso against him.
"Oh Carys, you goddamn beautiful, strange creature you..." He murmured against my ear, kissing it softly. "Of all the things in the world..." He gently picked me up, to my very loud protests, and carried me inside, placing me carefully on his bed. He covered me gently with a blanket when I began shivering again and held me until I stilled. He smoothed my hair when the quaking stopped and nuzzled my neck with his nose.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He murmured. I chuckled wryly.
"I'm not sure there's much left to say. I'm bitter about my past and my killer. Does that help? I'm terrified this is all just a dream..That you won't want me anymore, that I'll wake up in that pool of blood breathing my last breath..." My breath hitched in my throat as if proving my point and I found myself bursting into tears. Alexandre swiftly shifted our positions, placing me in his lap so that he could see my face, but I hid it in his shirt, clinging to him as my tears soaked through the material and my hands balled it into a wrinkled mess.
"Carys." Alexandre spoke quietly, but the sound reverberated in his chest. "I have no intentions whatsoever of leaving you, do you understand? I feel I am bound to you and you will have to drive me away with an ax if you want me gone, do you understand?" I giggled slightly. "And you most certainly are not lying there breathing your last in that pool of blood. Would you like proof?" I hesitated but then hummed my approval, so he nipped my neck with his teeth, hard. I squeaked, but he smothered the spot in kisses and I felt myself leaning into him, so I smacked his chest lightly.
"Flirt." I complained.
"I really don't think any dream could be as vivid as what we had earlier though, should I continue to illustrate?" Alexandre taunted, and I blushed fiercely, then held a finger against his lips.
"Save that thought for later." I said seriously, and the wolfish look returned to his eyes.
"You promise?" He whispered against my finger. I shivered but nodded and he dodged my hand to kiss me again. Gently removing me from his lap, he disappeared into his closet to change his shirt, which unfortunately had several small crescent shaped holes in it in addition to my tears. "Oh, I ordered you a phone!" Alexandre called from the closet. "Both new cells should be arriving in the morning. I'll try not to wake you when I leave the bed." He was smirking as he exited the closet, buttoning his shirt, and I looked for something to fling at him.
"Better cross your fingers that it's your bed I'm in in the morning." I retorted, standing and walking by him since I couldn't find anything to throw. He snarled and grabbed me from behind, latching his teeth onto my neck. I yelped as his light nip drew a tiny bead of blood to the surface.
"You promised." He growled against the spot, licking the drop of blood away. I arched backwards uncontrollably, cursing my body for betraying me as a moan escaped my lips. I shoved off him and out of his grasp.
"In the words of one of my favorite characters 'pie crust promise, easily made, easily broken'." I tossed over my shoulder and then squealed giddily as he let loose a growl and began to chase me down. Laughing hysterically, I bolted, trying to outrun him, even though I knew it was useless, and he caught me in the foyer, lifting me from the waist as I giggled wildly. He growled against my neck as he set me down again.
"I love you, Carys." He said softly, and I reached back to wrap my hand in his hair, my other arm along his around my waist.
"I love you too." I responded, leaning my head back against him, just absorbing the moment.